The Next Door Boys (24 page)

“We never see you when Noah's in town.” Julie frowned.

I sat down next to her. “Well, I'm here now.” I moved my hands toward her belly. “Do you mind?” I asked, hands already poised. It was magical, being able to feel the small baby inside her. I thanked her for every moment she let me share with her. It made it more special for both of us, knowing what she was able to do for me simply by letting me be involved in something I'd never get to do myself.

“Of course not. She's moving around a lot this afternoon.” Julie closed her eyes in the warm sunshine.

“I bet she's as happy as the rest of us that the sun is out.” I rested my hands on Julie's belly. I felt her sweet mothering spirit wrap around us both. I closed my eyes, breathed in the spring air, and let my hands relax on her. The baby was moving around a lot. I pictured tiny growing hands and feet, pushing outwards to find more room. I was only slightly aware that a few more people joined us on the porch. I wanted to soak up as much pregnant glow as I could before I opened my eyes and jolted myself back to the real world. Such an incredible, miraculous thing, and it happened all the time. I wondered how many mothers took the time to soak up all the small moments of pregnancy the way I soaked up Julie's.

It overwhelmed me every time. I felt feet or hands push against me again. I wiped away a tear, still smiling, still with my eyes closed. I leaned my head on Julie's shoulder and kept my hands on her belly.

“Aren't you just torturing yourself, Leigh?” It was Kim.

I frowned and opened my eyes, more annoyed to be pulled out of my peaceful place than anything else. I hadn't realized she and Evan were joining us. Jaron and Brian both shot her a look, and Noah stood at the bottom of the stairs.

“Just because I'll never get to do this doesn't mean I can't enjoy the experience through someone else, especially when they're so nice about it.” I tilted my head back toward Julie, and she put her arm around me.

“That's right,” Julie agreed.

Noah looked up at me like he didn't understand. I caught his eyes with mine. “I told you that one of the first times we went out.” How do you forget something like that?

“Oh yeah, right.” He flashed me his best smile. “You're just so darn perfect all the time I forget you might have flaws.”

“What does having kids have to do with perfection?” Brian stood up. He was irritated—more than irritated. He looked angry. His hands clenched into fists. The porch was silent.

My chest dropped. I stopped breathing, waiting for Noah to say something or for Brian to say something else.

Noah purposefully ignored him. “Ready to get out of here, Leigh?” He held his hand out. Everyone sat still, exchanging glances.

“Just a sec.” I tried to ignore the mood on the porch, and I leaned over Julie again, “Bye bye, baby Cassandra.” I whispered to her tummy.

“What did you say?” Julie asked.

“Oops. Sorry.” I paused. My cheeks grew hot. “I know it sounds like I just named your baby, but that's just who she is in my head. I can't believe I said it out loud.”

Julie and Stuart smiled at each other across the porch. “No, no, Leigh. Don't apologize. It's sweet. Baby Cassandra,” Julie said, musing.

I kissed Julie on the head. “Thanks again.” She nodded, and I jumped down the stairs right into Noah's arms. I wanted to dispel any residual tension left by Brian's outburst. He picked me up and spun me around. I was starting to like his dramatic gestures.

“Hey there, beautiful,” he said. “You're looking very summery this fine spring day.” He held me close and whispered it quietly in my ear. I felt a little self-conscious with the audience, but he smiled at me again as he led me to his car, still holding me tightly against his side. “What'll you do if it gets cold?”

“I brought jeans.” I raised my bag.

“What if there's nowhere to change?” His lips brushed my ear.

“I'm a girl, we always figure something out.”

He raised both eyebrows and let me in the passenger's side of the car.

I glanced back toward Brian on the porch. He looked away as soon as our eyes caught. I wondered what he was thinking. It was nice that he stuck up for me, but his reaction seemed extreme. Was there something going on I didn't know about?

“I'm taking off again next week,” Noah said as he climbed in and shut the door.

“You're barely even a student anymore,” I teased.

He took a deep breath in. “I'm thinking of dropping out. I think that right now my time would be better served living in LA.”

“Wow.” He'd mentioned it earlier, but it hadn't seemed like a possibility.

“I'm just thinking about it.”

I expected him to mention Brian's reaction, but he didn't, probably preferring to ignore that it happened.

“I packed us a picnic. I thought we'd drive up the canyon.” He reached out and took my hand. “I missed you.”

I squeezed his hand back. “I missed you too.” I stared out the window at the brown landscape. I couldn't get the picture of Brian out of my head, standing on the porch, angry, fists clenched, face hard, trying to protect me.

“So,” Noah started, “I'm going to be in a Volkswagen commercial.”

“What?” Wow. That snapped me back into the car with Noah.

“Yeah, I go back next week to shoot it.”

“And that's why you're thinking of dropping out.” It made more sense then.

“Yeah. I mean, it hasn't even been that long, and I have loads of auditions lined up.” He nodded.

“This is big, huh? The real thing.” Noah was probably going to go all the way. I had no doubt he'd get into the movies he wanted to be a part of. People would know who he was. He'd be walking the red carpet and answering questions for E! News. Would he want to take me with him? Did I want to go? My chest tightened, and I knew I wasn't ready to be thinking about that yet.

“Yeah. I mean, I was almost afraid to go on my mission, you know? Like I'd miss out on an opportunity, but I think the experience is actually helping.” He sounded so excited.

“Yeah, serving a mission does that.” It seemed like the most obvious thing in the world to me.

“Since I'm only home for a short time, can I take you to dinner tomorrow?” He reached over and touched my cheek.

“Of course.” Noah being back and forth was hard. I felt I was frantic to spend as much time with him as possible until he was gone, and then I caught up on everything else. What would happen when he moved? I started to ask, but I was afraid of his answer. I was afraid of him not wanting me anymore or what might happen if he did.

twenty-five

The beginning of April finally felt like real spring. In the spirit of another warm day, I slid on a full three-tiered skirt and wedge sandals for my dinner with Noah. He didn't tell me where he wanted to take me, and it didn't really matter. I grabbed my purse and headed outside to wait.

I started over to my hammock, but it was already occupied. Brian. I smiled and sat down cross-legged on the grass next to him, our faces just about level.

“Am I in your spot?” He turned his head to face me.

“Nope.” I smiled again and let my shoulders relax.

He lay on his stomach, wearing his running pants and a sleeveless shirt, a happy nod to the gorgeous weather. The leaves were just beginning to blossom, and the sun shining through the tree above us cast intricate patterns on everything in its reach.

“You look cozy.”

“I am cozy.” He smiled back. “You look pretty.”

“I am pretty,” I teased. “And Noah's on his way over.”

“Ah.” His voice lay thick with annoyance.

“I wish you liked him better.” I let a breath out and met Brian's gaze.

“Well, he hasn't really given any of us a chance to get to know him.” The irritation in Brian's voice hadn't gone away. I wanted them to get along. They were both part of my life. I didn't want things to feel separate the way they did. Like there was a Noah side of Leigh and then the rest of me.

I shrugged. The only defense would be Brian's outburst on the porch the other day, and I didn't want to bring that up. It all felt uncomfortable.

Brian's long muscular arms stretched out, showing the tattoos designing them both.

“What are all of those for?” I asked. I didn't want to talk about Noah anymore. I cocked my head sideways, trying to see them better. I reached out and touched the dragon on his shoulder. It stood tall and scaly, breathing out fire. I'd never looked that close before. I hadn't looked at any of them closely before.

He looked down to where my hand touched his arm. “Well, that one was for the first MP Unit that I deployed with. The Dragon Fighters,” he added dramatically. “We went to Afghanistan together my second year in.”

I traced my finger along the top of the design. It was funny how they'd almost scared me before. Like a warning: dangerous person. I nearly laughed at that now, I couldn't think of Brian as dangerous.

“What's an MP?” I asked.

“Military Police.”

“So, you were like a policeman?” Brian surprised me almost every time we spoke.

“I thought I would be, but we weren't. Not really. We provided security for the other forces coming in and then when I was in Baghdad, they called what we were doing police work, but it really wasn't like that at all. It was combat… in an impossible setting.” The way he closed his mouth and tightened his jaw told me that he didn't want to talk about it.

“And the yin and yang below it?” I reached out and touched that one too.

“You know… yin and yang, balance in all things…” He laughed a little at himself, or maybe at some memory associated with that tattoo. I wasn't sure.

“Okay,” I said. “What about the other arm? The tree?” He turned over in the hammock so I wouldn't have to move. A large tree took up his shoulder. I traced the small intricate branches with my finger. The fine lines slowly led back to the thick trunk, not unlike the oak tree we sat underneath. The top of the tree spread out in a large pattern of branches, but equally beautiful and complex were the roots growing below. I loved the symmetry of it that wasn't a true symmetry. The branches above versus the roots below. I moved my finger down the trunk and began tracing roots. I don't know what I expected, maybe that the ink would have made an impression on his skin or that it would somehow raise it up, making the design even more prominent. The skin felt smooth, just like anywhere else. I stared at the design as he explained.

“I thought about how beautiful a large tree is, but underneath there's something equally beautiful. Without the root system, the tree wouldn't be as incredible on the surface. It's like people, or anything really. What's underneath shows through.”

I nodded. Brian was a deep thinker. I liked that about him.

“And the band around your arm?” The band had solid edges, and the center was filled with what looked like a Celtic design.

Brian laughed. “I got that one because I was really working out hard and liked the way my biceps looked.”

“I see… How about here? The dates and the circle?” It sat on the inner side of his forearm. Since he rolled his shirtsleeves up every day he wore a dress shirt, that one showed a lot.

“That one.” He stopped for a moment. “The date on the top is the day that Stuart and I almost died and the day that we lost nearly half our platoon. The date on the bottom of the circle is the day that Nathan was born. It helped me a lot to get that one, a reminder that life continues on.” I felt his eyes on me, but I couldn't take mine from his arm.

I put both my hands on his forearm, on either side of his circle tattoo. “Life isn't everything,” I said quietly. “I learned that last year. Our soul is everything. It's what you take with you.” It hit me hard when I said it out loud. Had I been ignoring the important things? The things that would affect my soul? My chest felt tight, and I suddenly wasn't sure. When had I last been to the temple? Before Noah, I knew that much. I swallowed once, trying to dissolve some of the tension.

“Knowing what I know now about our bodies, I shouldn't have any of them, but I'm not likely to spend a fortune to get them taken off anytime soon.” His warm eyes caught mine.

So much sadness and hope all wrapped up together—in his eyes, his tattoos, and his life. Brian joined the Church and worked hard at everything he did, which showed hope, but he'd also definitely lived his share of sadness.

I heard a honk in the driveway, which made me jump. I rolled my eyes. Real subtle, Noah. I took a deep breath in. It wasn't like him. My best guess is that Brian shook him up more than he'd ever admit.

“Looks like your ride is here. He could step out and get you.” Brian rolled onto his back, our gaze broken.

“It might have something to do with you guys being less than welcoming.” I raised an eyebrow and looked at Brian.

“Maybe,” he said. But he didn't believe it.

I stood up and dusted the dry grass off my skirt. “Thanks, Brian.” I meant it. I wasn't going to let Noah's impatience drive a wedge between Brian and me. Not again.

“Thank you,” he smiled. “Nobody ever asks about my tattoos, not around here, anyway.”

I could understand that. It had certainly taken me a while. “It was… insightful.”

“Oh, great.” His eyes shifted from mine.

“No, no, it's good.” I'd learned more about Brian and felt we were actually friends again. We smiled at one another before I turned away.

I walked to Noah's car, my skirt swishing around my knees. He climbed out to let me in my side. He didn't say anything. I watched him walk around to his side and climb in. He hadn't even given me a hello kiss.

“You two looked comfortable.” He looked straight out the windshield.

“Its just Brian. He's like my brother.” I kept my voice relaxed. Noah's mouth pulled into a hard line.

“Does he know he's just like your brother?” He looked toward me, and his voice hovered on the edge of patronizing.

I smiled widely, “Are you jealous?” The thought that I could do something to make Noah jealous was strangely satisfying. And maybe by being relaxed about the whole thing, I would loosen him up too.

He didn't say anything. He watched the driveway as he backed into the street.