The Nine Fold Heaven (12 page)

“That’s really too bad. Anything I can do? If you need a doctor, I know someone to recommend.”

“Edward, that’s not the problem . . .” I couldn’t believe that I’d just blurted out something stupid like this. But unfortunately I couldn’t take my words back.

“What’s wrong, Jasmine? Please tell me.”

And now I couldn’t say, “No, it’s nothing.” So I said, “Edward, I heard rumors that some criminals are not happy with you and the bombing was a warning.”

His bushy brows knitted. “Where did you hear this from?”

Fortunately, I came up with a simple explanation. “Some Chinese gossip newspapers you’ll never read.”

“Which one?”

Suddenly I remembered since he spoke Chinese fluently, he must be able to read it also.

“Can’t remember, I read it a while ago.”

“What did they say?” He looked anxious.

“I’m sorry, I should have saved it for you. It was something about the gambling houses. Anyway, there’s a lot of them angry at you because you’re meddling in their affairs.”

“Yes, because I don’t take bribes and I intend to clean things up!”

“Edward . . . do you really think you can change China?”

His face flushed and his voice turned angry. “Not all of China, we’re starting here in the foreign concessions.”

“Whatever you call it. But can you fight five thousand years of history?” Or bribery, I might have added.

His hand struck the table, causing a small earthquake that set Emily’s tea cups and saucers into a little nervous tango.

“That’s the problem. No one tries.”

Of course, he was right. We Chinese just accept the way things are. We follow the old proverb, “Sweep the snow from our own door and ignore the frost on other people’s roofs.”

He did not realize that no one would stand up for him.

“Edward, but you’re all alone. . . .”

“I know. My colleagues want me to let things be. But if I . . .” His voice trailed off.

A brave man. But, of course, like everyone, he feared for his life.

I touched his face. “Edward . . .” But I didn’t know what more to say.

He took my hand and kissed it. “Jasmine, you are my comfort. My wife left me and I also fear for my son. I am not sure if I can win this war against the gangs. So if anything bad happens to me . . .”

“Edward, can’t you just leave everything behind and go back to—”

“No, it’s a matter of honor.”

“But that’s nothing to do with honor, it’s just . . . plain foolish.”

His face flushed as he raised his voice. “Jasmine, you don’t understand !”

“What don’t I understand?”

“I have never backed down from a challenge.”

“What about running away?” I was, in fact, asking this question for myself. I’d run away, but I had come back. And I still had no idea how it would end for me.

“Edward, maybe you’re right. But still I don’t want you to be . . .” I couldn’t say the word
killed.

He pulled me to him and kissed me. “I won’t, Jasmine, I’ll be very careful.”

I didn’t know how to respond, so I remained silent. He tilted my head so we were looking into each other’s eyes. In my fear his eyes seemed to blur, as if he were looking at me from another world—a ghostly one.

15

Shanghai Lily

E
dward Miller seemed to be the sort of man who deemed honor the most important thing in life. I only hoped that his honor did not end up costing him his life. But there was little I could do if he was determined to persist in his vain hope of ending corruption. I’d hoped he could be my protector, but ironically, his situation now seemed even more dangerous than mine.

A few weeks later, when I called, Emily said her boss would like me to go to an opera with him. This presented a dilemma. If I dressed as a woman, I’d risk being recognized as Camilla the Heavenly Songbird. But with Miller, I certainly could not show up dressed as a man. So I suggested I’d much rather see a movie instead if her boss wouldn’t object. At least I’d be in the dark most of the time and the chance of being recognized would be much less.

So the following Monday, Edward picked me up at the street corner close to where I’d said I lived and drove us to the Cathay theater in the intersection between Huaihai Road and Maoming Road, “Sea of Huai and Prosperous Fame.”

Edward took one of his hands from the wheel to cover mine. “Jasmine, I’m so happy that you suggested to see a movie instead. I just never thought of that for a change. And the Art Deco Cathay theater, it was built by the famous Hungarian architect, C. H. Gonda, you know about him?”

I had never heard of this architect, so I didn’t respond, only put up a sweet smile.

He went on. “Gonda also designed the Bank of Communications Office and the Capitol Cinema—”

I had no interest in this sort of thing, nor did I care about Art Deco. So I interrupted. “Edward, I suddenly have stomach cramps, can you stop for a minute so I can use the bathroom?”

“Of course.” He turned to cast me a concerned look. “If you are not feeling well, we can go back to my place now.”

“I’m fine. Just need to use the bathroom.”

So Edward pulled up the car next to the first public restroom we saw. Of course, I didn’t have cramps and felt perfectly fine. I only wanted to delay until after the movie started so it would be dark when we entered the theater. Besides, I studied myself in the mirror to reassure myself that with short hair and minimal makeup, I looked very different from my former self.

When Edward and I finally entered the theater, the previews had already started and no one paid us any attention in the dark. People were busy chewing on peanuts or chicken bones, drinking tea, and commenting on the happenings on screen, laughing or cursing.

The movie was
Shanghai Express,
starring Marlene Dietrich and the Chinese actress Anna May Wong. It was an exciting story in which a prostitute saves the life of a doctor, her former lover, on a train after he had been taken hostage by a warlord. Other excitement as the train sped from Peking toward Shanghai included a kidnapping and soldiers searching for rebel spies.

The movie served up intense condiments of emotions in me. The two actresses played women who, like me, must “live by their wits,” because they had no one to fall back on. I admired these fictional women who pretended to have the kind of life I really did have.

On the train, the warlord condemned the two women, declaring, “Even though one is Chinese and the other is not, souls are evil.... Anyone with any sense can see that these two women are on this train to find victims.”

I hoped my soul was not yet completely rotten and that soon I could stop having to search for victims.

To me, the most touching part of the movie was that despite Marlene Dietrich’s character, Shanghai Lily, supposedly lacking moral sense, Doctor Harvey still loved her. Of course, it made me hope that Jinying, wherever he was, would come back and continue to love me in spite of my past. Right now, the only man I had in my life was the one next to me, covering my hand with his, but completely unaware of how rotten I really was.

Although I didn’t have deep feelings for Edward as I did for Jinying and Gao, I’d be very sad to think that someday he’d be gone too. But I sensed that my coming into his life might tear it apart like a tornado, because Edward was too decent a man to fall in love with a skeleton woman like me.

He whispered into my ear, waking me from my thoughts. “Jasmine, you like the movie?”

He had paid for the best seats, so I nodded.

“Good, I’m happy that you’re happy,” he whispered again, lifting my hand and pressing it to his lips.

There had been many men in my life, but each loved and touched me in a different way. Lung, Jinying, Gao, now this foreigner official. Hmm . . . what would be next for me? When would my drifting boat finally touch the shore?

Would I be like Shanghai Lily, who saved everyone from the evil warlord? At the beginning of the movie, she is alone, then by chance, her former lover, the military doctor Captain Harvey, is on the same train. His love for her is rekindled, even though she tells him, “I am the White Flower of China. If you’ve heard of me, you can believe what you’ve heard. It took more than one famous man for me to become Shanghai Lily.”

It also took more than one man—Lung, Jinying, Gao, and now Edward—to change my name from Camilla to Jasmine Chen.

In the climactic scene, an evil warlord forces the train to stop and takes Captain Harvey hostage. To save him, Shanghai Lily acts by her own code of honor to offer herself to the warlord for the release of her former lover and the other passengers.

In the end, Shanghai Lily and Captain Harvey walk together arm in arm, lovers once again.

A happy ending. Would mine be as happy as Shanghai Lily’s? Then who’d be the man sharing my happiness—Jinying, Gao, Edward Miller?

 

After the movie, Miller drove us to a small, empty garden, one I’d never known about.

“Jasmine, it’s beautiful here tonight, let’s take a stroll.”

We got off and began a leisurely stroll under the moonlight among the fragrant flowers. The Chinese say, “A swallow, though tiny, has all the five organs.” Similarly, this park had a small rose garden giving out a pleasant fragrance, rock formations in oddly elegant shapes, even an arched stone bridge over a small pond.

Edward grabbed my hand in his so tightly, as if he feared to let go. Was this real or a dream? I decided to quiet my spy’s inquisitive mind, let go of my suspicions, and enjoy this rare moment.

I did not want to say anything about the movie to Miller, as it would be too easy to let out personal details I wished to keep to myself. So like the fictional Chinese prostitute in the silent movie, I kept my own mouth shut so as not to spoil this magical moment with a romantically inclined ambassador and the equally amorous moon. As if feeling the same, Edward gently led me behind a thicket of shrubs and kissed me on my lips, at first tentatively and then, when he could tell I was not resisting, with growing intensity.

When we sat down on a rock and paused for breath, my American lover startled me with an unexpected question: “Jasmine Chen, who are you?”

“You know who I am, Edward.”

He shook his head. “No, you’re a total mystery to me. You never let me come to the orphanage where you told me you live. And you don’t seem to have any family or even friends whom I could invite for lunch or dinner—”

“Edward, I told you my parents are dead, and I didn’t get on very well with the other orphans.”

“Jasmine, you know I really like you. Or let me be direct. I’m falling in love with you. So please tell me the truth about yourself and don’t break my heart . Is Jasmine Chen even your real name?”

I lowered my head so I didn’t have to meet his intense gaze. But he tilted my head so his eyes could penetrate mine.

“Jasmine, I would like to know you more. Could you let me in?”

His question brought tears to my eyes. I tried but failed to blink them back, so they coursed down my cheeks like two rivulets. I was reminded of when Jinying, now gone from my miserable life, had said the exact opposite.

After one of my performances, Jinying complimented me on letting myself shine through, rather than hiding my heart like the other singers. Hard for me to tell who was right about me, perhaps both in their own way.

Now Edward pulled out a handkerchief to wipe my tears. But his loving act only provoked more rain from my eyes.

“Please, Jasmine, I am here and I can help you.”

“Can you really?”

“Yes, but I want you to tell me the truth—the entirety of it.”

Something I never thought I would do. And if I did, what would be the consequences? I looked around at the deserted garden, wondering if we were being spied upon, even in this tranquil-seeming place.

But this was my chance to warn him that the gangs were already plotting against him. If he really cared for me, maybe that would dissuade him from his doomed plan to crack down on the gambling dens. Maybe he’d even take me to America with him so I could leave all my bad memories, nightmares, and evil deeds behind . . . And, since his Henry was adopted, he probably wouldn’t mind adding my little waiting-to-be-found Jinjin.

“Edward, all I can tell is that I’m a bad woman.”

He chuckled nervously. “How bad, did you kill someone?”

Instead of answering him, I said, “Edward, I know more than you think. It is hopeless for you to fight against the gangs . . .”

He looked touched. “I know about the relationship between the gangs and the corrupt government. Only a few weeks ago, a package with a huge red, lucky money envelope was delivered to my office. I knew it was a bribe, so I sent it right back. Not only that, I also attached a letter telling them that I’d soon start an anti-gambling campaign.”

“But, Edward, that’s suicidal! Trust me, if these gangsters get you, it will be a relief when you finally die!”

“That’s the reason their power keep expanding! Everyone’s afraid and so no one stands up to them. I may be the first ambassador to return the bribe. But there’s got to be a first one. Please, Jasmine, I don’t want to talk about the gangsters. I want to know more about you.”

Before I could stop, I’d already blurted out the truth about myself, not all of it, of course, certainly not about Jinying or Gao. I told him how I’d been forced by Big Brother Wang to spy on Master Lung, leaving out any mention of the shoot-out at the villa. Maybe I let out what I had bottled up for so long because he was a foreigner and an ambassador. And I really believed he was a man of honor, just as he had said. So I sensed it was safe to reveal my secrets to him. And my true self—if I did have one.

Now there was no turning back, no time for regret. Only for figuring out my next move.

A long silence passed. He pulled me to him and hugged me tightly as if he feared even a slight breeze would blow me away.

The he kissed me with great tenderness. “Jasmine, is that true? You worked for one gang to help them eliminate the other?”

I didn’t reply.

“Does it mean that all you told me about yourself the first day wasn’t true?”

“No, Edward, it wasn’t lies.” I lied again. “I
was
molested by the Red Demons’ head. Only he didn’t kick me out, but instead forced me to be his spy.”

He sighed heavily. “Jade, how sad that a young girl like you had to endure all this suffering. . . .”

I began to cry. “I’m scared, Edward. Now both gangs are after me.”

He thought for a while. “I don’t think so.”

“But why not?”

“Because the gangs are too busy killing each other to take the number one position. Jasmine, I am sure there are more important things on their minds than getting rid of a singer. They may want revenge, but they want money more.”

Of course, I’d been a minuscule bit of pretty fluff squeezed between two powerful machines. But I had even lost that status. Now I was out of sight and out of mind, at least I hoped that was all I was—just empty air between the two machines.

“So you don’t think my life is in danger?”

“Not if you’re telling me the whole story.”

Of course, I was too well trained to tell
anyone
everything, no matter what the circumstance. I’d left out a lot, not only my lovers and my baby, but also the large amount of money and jewelry I’d taken from Lung’s safe, and my escape to Hong Kong and return. And, most important, that my “real” name was Camilla.

I said, “But my boss has lost face. So he—”

“But since no one knows that you secretly worked for his rival, maybe he’s lost face to you, but not the public. Anyway, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Edward, I don’t think anything can be done.”

As if suddenly remembering something, he asked, “Jasmine, you never let me know your address. So, where have you been hiding?”

“Please, Edward, I really can’t tell you that.”

“Jasmine, I’ll try my best to protect you,” he sighed, then pressed his lips tenderly against mine.

Soon his tongue was writhing agonizingly inside my mouth; one of his hands held my waist as the other one lifted up my dress and began its search. Aroused by this foreigner’s passion, I responded by pressing my small body against his muscular one and kissing him back with equal intensity.

After long moments, we finally released each other and he said urgently, “Tonight, let’s go to my place, I want you to stay with me.”

Feeling completely overwhelmed by my lies and this man’s love, I willingly let myself be led to wherever his desire was pulling.