The Nine Lessons (23 page)
Golf is, in part, a game; but only in part. It is also in part a religion, a fever, a vice, a mirage, a frenzy, a fear, an abscess, a joy, a thrill, a pest, a disease, an uplift, a brooding, a melancholy, a dream of yesterday, and a hope for tomorrow.
—
New York Tribune
(1916)
N
ovember 13, 2001
—Fore! Look out world, a new generation of Wittes came into the world early this morning, and there’s no telling how far their balls will fly. I have a hunch that their parents will tee them up very well.
With the arrival of the new additions I feel as though I’ve been given the greatest mulligans of my life. Not only did the pregnancy during the past eight months afford me exciting new opportunities to be a better father to my own son, which was a mulligan all on its own, but now with two beautiful grandchildren around I’ll get a chance to be a different sort of father than I ever was before… and in every sense of the word, I intend to be a GRANDfather!!
November 20, 2001—Erin says it’s my turn to write on the scorecards. Frankly, I like writing words on them much more than my golf scores… this is much less humiliating.
Today was a big day. The state managed to come through on all of the paperwork to complete the adoption of Maggie. Tomorrow we will get to take both of the kids home! Erin is recovering well from her surgery and has taken to motherhood like a bird to flight. I can see in her smile that she is soaring.
I’ve been very busy during this past week, between animal emergencies, spending time at the hospital, and trying to get the house ready for two babies. Plus, Erin doesn’t know it yet (and I’m not letting her read this scorecard until after it happens), but in light of the unexpected second child, I’m planning a surprise baby shower for her. Stacey is helping put it all together. It will be next Monday at our house, and this time the rest of the husbands will definitely be there (unless they want to miss out on the football game on my new wide-screen TV!)
February 14, 2002—When Jess died, I allowed myself to believe that true happiness, for me, had come to an end. “How could I ever love anyone else?” I wondered. And could anyone else really love me? Well today, on the anniversary of my engagement to Jessalynn, Delores answered both of those questions when she accepted my proposal of marriage. Who would have ever thought I’d get a second chance at being a husband? I have Augusta to thank for it—he left me alone with her on the golf course months ago with the wise advice that life, more than anything, is meant to be lived.
When I proposed, Delores asked me essentially the same things that Jess had all those years ago: Will I love her forever, and will I put her first in my life, even above golf? I was happy to report without hesitation that I can and will do both. I can’t say that I don’t still miss and love Jess, because I do. But my love for Delores is every bit as real, and fills the large divot I’ve had in my heart for so long.
For the first time in a long time I feel like I’m finding my way out of the woods and finally putting my ball back down on the beautiful fairways of life.
February 19, 2005—The events of this day brought back lots of memories. In many respects, it was like déjà vu. I came home from work, took off my shoes, and found the kids all by themselves in the living room watching TV. When I asked them where Mommy was, they said she went to the bathroom a while ago, and hadn’t come out yet. I knew what that meant. As I walked down the hallway I heard crying coming from the bathroom, so I pushed open the door. There, sitting on the floor, leaning against the bathtub, was Erin, holding a pregnancy test. We’ve been trying to have another baby now for almost three years, and every month I come home to find Erin in the bathroom crying that she isn’t pregnant. The doctors warned us that the surgery they performed when they delivered Nick might make having children more difficult, but we haven’t given up.
At first, my heart sank when I saw her. Then she smiled and held it up for me to see. “A purple plus sign,” I whispered as my own tears began to fall. I joined her on the floor and we wept together and held each other tight.
November 13, 2008—Happy birthday to my two oldest children! We kept the celebration intentionally simple this year, but that’s not to say it wasn’t a very special day…
Maggie, with her beautiful blonde hair, has known since she was quite young that Erin and I are not her biological parents. She’s always been okay with it, and fully believes us when we assure her that it makes her special, because she has more people in the world who love her. She knows that her birth mother did what she did out of love, and that we love her just as much as Nicklaus and Sophie. But even still, she’s been curious about who her birth mother is. So today Magnolia Steele joined us for the birthday dinner. Maggie was thrilled to meet the woman who brought her into this world, and thanked her with a giant hug for giving her to “the best mommy and daddy in the world.”
My heart still melts.
Magnolia has grown into a beautiful woman. She graduated in May from, of all places, Princeton University—I know somewhere up in heaven my mother must be smiling. Magnolia brought along her fiancé, a law student by the name of Troy Baum. “You’re yanking my chain,” I said when she introduced him to us. “That’s really his name?” She wasn’t joking. “Do you know what Baum means in German?” I asked. Neither of them had the foggiest idea. “Magnolia, you are literally going to be a tree!” I laughed. “A baum is a tree! Magnolia Tree!” Both of them laughed at the strange serendipity, and Magnolia said she can’t wait until she and Troy can really start putting down roots.
Erin spoke up then, taking our daughter by the hand and pulling her close. “Maybe this is just further evidence that Magnolias will bloom wherever they are planted.”
June 20, 2009—Tomorrow is Father’s Day. Eight years ago I would have dreaded the thought, but it has become one of my favorite days of the year. Not only do I get a special opportunity to thank my father for everything he’s taught me, but I get to celebrate the fact that I have three incredible children of my own to raise and love. What could be better?
It is very late at night. Erin is sleeping peacefully beside me, and all of the kids are tucked in bed, but I want to get the events of this Father’s Day Eve on paper while they are still fresh in my mind. It was a good day, notwithstanding the fact that I spent much of it resting in a hospital bed…
As an early Father’s Day present Nick and Maggie wanted to take me golfing. They love playing with me. It irks me that even at their young age they can hit the ball straighter than I can. Still, I do love spending time with them on the course. Although I can’t really offer them much advice that will improve how they play golf, I cherish every opportunity to help guide them in the great game of life.
While we were playing today, one of my shots flew straight into the middle of a pond, and I thought it was a great chance to give them a little golf-life lesson. So with my kids watching, I dove out into the water to retrieve my lost ball. That was a big mistake. As it turned out, I wasn’t alone in the pond, and the unintended lesson that the kids took away from the experience was that in the game of life, if we choose to swim with poisonous snakes there’s a good chance that we’re going to get bit.