The Not So Invisible Woman (5 page)

'I'm coming, baby,' he said, panting. 'Take it.'

I felt his warm come drip down my throat. I continued sucking, but his cock was too sensitive.

'Ah!' he almost shouted. 'No!'

I pulled away from him. Between our attempts with the strap-on and now this post-orgasm sensitivity, it was clear I didn't know Scott's boundaries yet. But then, it's hard to know anything for certain after just one night with somebody. I took the obvious cue and left his cock alone.

I looked at the sheets. They were a MapQuest pattern of the route we'd taken the previous evening and that morning. All the evidence from an odd night and its morning after, there in friendly earth tones.

I still felt bad that I'd pushed too hard with the strap-on and that Scott had screamed with pain. I regretted being such a novice. Anal can be the ultimate pleasure with an experienced lover. But I was not an experienced top and Scott was not an experienced bottom, and I knew it was unlikely he would ever try anal again. There's nothing like having your anal cherry popped by an amateur to put you off the act. I knew that pain myself, having been taken there hundreds of times, and not always gently or by pros. It is easy for a top to get overexcited and push too hard before the bottom is ready, especially with a virgin ass. For all my experience in bed, I'd fucked-up sex like a bumbling newby.

If the plus to sleeping with lots of hot strangers is the excitement of a new body, a new cock, a new sexual adventure, the minus is that you don't know their limits. You can never be sure if you've read a new partner right or touched his body the way he really likes it touched. I didn't know if I'd be seeing Scott again and get the opportunity to know him, and his body and limits, the way I wanted to. Despite feeling a connection the night before, I feared we'd both pushed the boundaries for a first date.

I kissed Scott goodbye at the door, then walked back upstairs and pulled the sheets off the bed.

I didn't hear from Scott after the strap-on incident, so figured I'd definitely blown it. But since I continued to feel weird about the pain I'd caused him, I shot him an email to clear the air.

'Hope all's well,' I wrote. 'Sorry if things got a little out of control that night.'

When I didn't hear back right away, I assumed we were history. Then, about a week later, a response was in my inbox.

'It was really great to meet you,' he wrote. 'You're right; it did get out of control. I hope that doesn't weird us both out and ruin what I think would be a very cool friendship.'

I was relieved and also pleased to think Scott might become, as I'd hoped that night we'd met, a friend with benefits. He said he was just about to embark on major travel again but suggested we stay in touch. 'Don't read silence as any sort of regret on my part,' he added.

Perhaps we'd have the opportunity to try again.

I made a mental note to use more lube next time around.

Till Scott came back to London, I thought I'd kill time with my regulars and go to my local, Rio's.

I hadn't been there in a while and, when I paid my £2 entry toll to the cutie American receptionist, I got a question in return. 'Can I ask you something?' he asked.

'Yes.'

'You know what I'm going to ask you, don't you?'

'Yes, I think I do.'

'It's you, isn't it?'

'Yes.' I smiled, arched an eyebrow. My cover was blown. They knew I was the one who'd written the erotic memoir that featured more than a few scenes in their sauna, Jacuzzi and couples' rooms. I wasn't sure I liked the staff knowing who I was, but now that they did, I kind of hoped they'd return the favour and give me a lifetime membership. After all, my book was practically an advertisement for Rio's.

'So, you're Suzanne.'

'Yes, I'm Suzanne.'

'We weren't sure,' he said. 'We've all been reading your book. A few of us thought it might be this other American woman that comes here. But I knew it was you.'

He looked proud of himself, as if he'd worked out an elaborate puzzle from the Gadget Shop.

'Guess I'm not so invisible any more. You won't tell anyone, will you?' I said. 'I'd rather everyone else didn't know.'

'Your secret is safe with me.'

That's good, I thought. I just wanted to go about my business. The business of getting laid.

I changed out of my clothes and walked over to the steam room. I was standing outside, debating whether to go in, when I saw Mark, Mr Ireland. I hadn't seen him in a few months. Now, there he was, sitting on a green plastic garden chair, relaxing by the showers. I walked up to him.

'You wouldn't fancy giving me a back rub later on, would you?'

'Sure,' he said, looking up, smiling. 'Just give me a half-hour to chill out. Then I'll meet you outside the changing room.'

I killed some time in the sauna, then, once again, we were climbing the stairs together.

Since the last time I'd been in Rio's, the management had tacked plastic tubing filled with red lights around the doorways to each of the couples' rooms. It bathed the hallway in a trashy red glow. I'd always treated the private rooms as my personal bordellos, so I welcomed the change. It seemed appropriate.

'Who needs to go to Amsterdam, when we've got our own mini red light district in Kentish Town?' I said.

Mark laughed. We entered the largest room, which was at the far end of the hall across from the one where we'd had our first encounter.

I closed the door behind us, as Mark lay our towels down on the blue plastic mats that covered the platform. It was a familiar ritual.

As I turned to face him, he pulled me towards him. He put his arms around me and kissed me hard. His tongue was insistent. His body responded instantly. I felt his cock grow hard against my stomach but resisted the urge to touch it. I wanted to make him wait. It was a role-playing thing, more for my own benefit than his. I wanted to build the tension.

'I haven't had sex in weeks,' I said. 'I'm horny as hell.' Comments like that build anticipation. Most men get off on being the first, and if they're not the ones to pop your cherry, breaking a girl's abstinence is the next best thing. In this case, then the latter was true. I'd gone weeks without, been too busy even to call my usual fuck buddies. I was really glad I'd not had sex in so long, because I'd hoped to see Mark again, and here I was finally getting my wish.

'I haven't had it in
months,'
he replied. He grabbed my hands and held them above my head so I was pinned against the door. He kissed me again. It was more urgent this time. It wasn't desperation so much as need. He wanted me as badly as I wanted him.

I grabbed his bum to pull him into me and he moved one hand down to his cock, rubbing the head up and down against my pussy. I felt myself getting wet. This time I couldn't resist touching him. But as I went to do so, he grabbed my hands again, pulling them above my head once more, and kissed me again. I loved the way he dominated me, the forcefulness in his touch. There was no hesitation in his movements, no awkwardness. I gave myself completely to him. I turned towards the platform and leaned over it. Mark put his arms around me from behind. I felt his hard cock on my ass.

'Wait a second,' I said. I reached towards my kitbag. 'I have to get a condom.'

Suddenly he pulled away. He had been just seconds from thrusting his cock inside me. Now I feared that the fumbling for a condom had broken the flow.

'Don't need one. Let me just give you a massage,' he said. He sounded apologetic. 'Is that OK?'

I got the sense he was having second thoughts, so I turned towards him, sat on the platform, and took his cock in my mouth. He held the back of my head in one hand and pulled me into him. I felt him get rock hard right away. He seemed on the verge of coming, but I wanted to take my time so pulled away. His cock stood straight out, at a right angle to the rest of his body. It was pointed right at my face, as though demanding I take it back in my mouth.

'OK, I'll have that massage now,' I said, and, without waiting for a response, lay on my stomach.

Mark crawled on top of me, crouching on his knees and pinning my legs together between his own. He reached for a bottle of baby oil he had brought with him, and I heard him squeeze some liquid out and rub his hands together before applying the warm oil to my back. His hands moved in long strokes, sliding from the top of my shoulders down to my lower back. I wanted to feel his cock swing gently against my ass and his fingers part my legs. I lifted myself up slightly as he worked his way down my body, offering myself to him. But he resisted. Instead, he moved his hands up and down my body, up and down, before concentrating on my buttocks. Finally, he spread the cheeks open.

'You know, I'd love your cock in my ass,' I said, giving in to my desires. I waited for his fingers to brush against my clit.

'Do you mind if I just give you a massage?' he said.

'Just a massage?' I tried not to sound disappointed.

'Yes, just a massage,' he said. He sounded diffident. I got the sense he wanted to give me more than a massage.

'Can I turn over, then?' I said.

'If you want.'

I rolled over to face him. I was still between his legs, and now I could see his hard-on standing straight out. 'Can you just rub my pussy? Just a little?' I asked. 'I'm incredibly horny.'

'Yes, I can do that,' he said, as though concluding that that act was in the 'Allowed' column of his rule book. He began to finger me gently, first using his whole hand to rub the mound, then moving his fingers inside and out whilst applying pressure to my clit with his thumb.

It felt great, for about five minutes. 'Why won't you fuck me?' I said at last, feeling myself dripping on his hands, my pussy opening up more and more to receive his fingers. 'Is it the condoms?'

'No,' he said. 'It's just that ... it would be cheating on my girlfriend. I can't do that.'

I let his comment go. I wasn't about to get involved in a conversation about the dynamics of his relationship. I just wanted to get off.

Mark's fingers continued dancing around my clit. The endorphins built, built until the desire to feel him inside me was so strong, I knew that his not fucking me wasn't an option. I raised myself up, put my arms around his lower back, and pulled his cock towards me, taking him in my mouth again. He kept his hand on my clit and continued rubbing. I pulled his cock completely into my mouth; I used my tongue to lap at the underside of his shaft, covering it with my saliva. I was lost in the pleasure of feeling his hands probing me and his cock inside my mouth.

Suddenly, Mark pulled me by the back of my hair, pushed me down onto the mat, and climbed on top of me, thrusting his tongue into my mouth. I felt his hard cock just inches away from my pussy. I grabbed his hips and pulled him inside. This time, he did not resist. He plunged into me, filling me up. I gasped.

I felt a rush of endorphins, almost like when I'm about to come, except I wasn't there yet. But it was a moment of such intense pleasure, so intoxicating that an orgasm was beside the point. Mark continued holding me down by my hair. It wasn't violent, it wasn't painful, but somehow it seemed right, given the force of his desire.

He pinned my right arm above my head, and with his free hand reached down for my left hand and locked his fingers around mine. His tongue never left my mouth. We were joined, every twitch of his cock, every thrust, seemed to connect to something inside me. Though we had been in a red room once before, this time was completely different.

He had only been fucking me for about five minutes, but I noticed that his balls had retracted, because they no longer slapped against me. He was getting closer.

'Please. Come inside me,' I said. I wanted him to fill me up, even though I knew it was stupid and reckless.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes. Please.' I arched my back to receive him, to take him in fully. He wasn't huge, but his obvious enjoyment was contagious. And I had wanted this since our last time together. I thought he was so sexy, and his touch so sensual, that for a change size didn't matter.

I felt the twitch that heralds a man's coming orgasm, then the rush of warm spunk inside me. His orgasm seemed to go on for minutes, seemingly as long as we'd been fucking. His body shuddered again and again, and his thrusts got deeper and faster. My pussy pulsated in time with his orgasm, contracting over and over. I was in no rush for him to stop.

When the pulsating finally stopped, we lay still for a while, my right arm still above my head and my left hand still entwined in his.

He kissed me gently, then rose up on his elbows and looked into my eyes.

Suddenly, I felt the need to reassure him that it was OK, that I was clean. 'I was tested recently,' I said. 'And I'm fine.'

'I'm clean too. I had my tests not long ago, and I haven't had sex in four months.'

'I don't usually do that,' I continued, feeling the need to confess. 'Never do that, in fact. That's why I tried to grab a condom from my bag.'

He climbed off me and moved to my side, propping himself up with one arm while stroking my body with his other hand.

'So, what's with the four-month thing?' I asked. 'How can you have a girlfriend and not have sex for four months?'

'She lives in Slovakia,' he said, rolling his eyes.

'Wow, that's one hell of a long-distance relationship,' I said. 'I tried that once. All I got out of it was some great phone sex and a lot of frustration.'

'Yeah, me too,' he said. 'But after a while phone sex gets boring.'

'And expensive.'

Mark smiled. 'Hey, I'm sorry. I don't usually come that quickly.'

'That's OK,' I said, and I meant it. There's a time for taking things slowly, and then there are times when passion and excitement set their own agenda. Sex with Mark was one such time; it was just what I'd wanted. I began to finger his nipple ring, something I'd not even noticed during our lovemaking.

'What does your girlfriend think of this thing?'

'I don't think I'll have a girlfriend for much longer,' he said. 'The long-distance thing doesn't work. It's just a ball-buster.'

For a minute I started to wonder whether there was any possibility for meeting Mark outside of Rio's. He wasn't a bad catch. But I quickly came back to reality. Relationships don't begin with a quickie in the red room. Mark didn't ask for my phone number and I didn't give him mine. That's just the way it is. As they say about Vegas, what happens there, stays there. But I hoped I'd see him again and knew that I would.

'OK, Suzanne' he said, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. 'See you around.'

As Mark walked out the door, I suddenly thought of James, who had asked me if a blowjob from a colleague constituted cheating on his wife. He wanted reassurance, I now realised, and I hadn't given it to him. Had I been playing according to Mark's rules, I would have said no. Giving me a back rub, kissing me, massaging my clit – none of that mattered to Mark. Even a blowjob in a couple's room didn't count. To most people, just walking through the door of a swinging club was crossing the line. It was only when his penis entered another woman that Mark felt he'd broken the rules. I'd not seen James for about six months and wondered if he had a second mobile number at this point, and more stories about car park blowjobs.

We all break our own rules. That Sunday with Mark, I'd even broken mine. I had allowed a man to fuck me without a condom. I came to the conclusion that, when it comes to sex, we're all full of shit.