The Notes (31 page)

N
ewest thing in women’s hairdos is men.

S
ome people are so addicted to exaggeration they can’t tell the truth without lying.

H
usband: “In our 6 yrs. marriage we haven’t been able to agree on anything.” Wife: “It’s been 7 yrs., dear.”

I
nflation—changed . . . pumpernickel bread to pumperdime.

T
here is a noble forgetfulness—that which does not remember injuries.

V
oltaire: “In general the art of govt. consists of taking as much money as poss. from one class of citizens to give to the other.”

W
e are all aware that “moderation” is a good rule for health—exercise moderately, eat the same way—drink in moderation but moderation should be taken in moderation. For example—should a man be moderately faithful to wife? How about your banker—is he moderately honest? That school bus driver—moderately good driver? Somehow I hope the plane I take to L.A. is more than moderately safe. How about in the operating room—the man with the scalpel in his hand—does he have a moderately good record of success with this type of op.? Have you met your son’s fiancée—she insists she’s a moderately virtuous young woman.

W
e all want our sons to have all the things we never had when we were their age—especially a report card with a lot of “A”s.

L
ady Driver: The thing I dislike about parking is the noisy crash.

L
atest from Moscow—someone just broke into the Kremlin and stole next year’s election results.

S
ome people are so indecisive their favorite color is plaid.

N
ews Item: Rep. Mario Briggs’ used . . . Cong. Rec. for a glowing testimonial to his N.Y. colleague Frank Brasco. Heaping praise on Brasco that his fellow Dem. had decided to retire. He didn’t mention that Brasco will be sentenced to Fed. prison this month for bribery.

C
onscience is that still small voice that tells you when you are about to get caught.