The Nowhere Men (12 page)

They were collaborating on a search for a striker. Jordan Slew, the star of the Sheffield United side which reached the Youth Cup final in 2011, had disappeared without trace after being sold to Blackburn Rovers for £3 million. Roger used his contacts to ascertain a basic profile: Slew was quick, measured in front of goal, and a ‘decent lad’ who needed to distance himself from the chaos of a club which was redefining the concept of mismanagement. Gary called England Under 20 coach Brian Eastick, who had visited him in Colorado the previous year. He passed him on to Noel Blake, who had coached Slew at Under 19 level.

‘People help one another, because they know what the game is like. Noel has given Slew a really good mention. Somewhere along that route, Gary may have to take a punt, because otherwise he ain’t going to get anyone in. I’m not telling secrets out of school, but from what I’ve seen of Stevenage, they are short of quality. Gary says they’re a fantastic group in terms of their togetherness, but, particularly up front, they have no pace. I mean, you could probably run as quickly as one or two of them, you know what I mean? It is a strange one. Westley has just gone to Preston and sacked all the scouts. OK I suppose, if he wanted a change because he knew better people, but he actually didn’t want any scouts. I can’t get my head round that.’

My garrulous neighbour in the main stand attempted to engage his son in conversation as the second half meandered, losing any shape or sense of purpose. ‘You’re with that rugby club, aren’t you,’ he said, delighted with what he self-evidently considered a flash of original humour, rather than a tiresome recycling of a cliché, created by Stevenage’s reputation for physicality. Gary Smith smiled thinly, and offered several pained platitudes. He was as surprised as anyone in the vicinity when the fan suddenly began yelling ‘fish’, as if an unseen hand had sprinkled a hallucinogenic drug in his half-time tea.

The mystery was solved by a glance at the big screen, at the left-hand corner of the stand. This depicted a goldfish being chased by a giant net. The home supporters cheered as it evaded capture. It was a surreal image and ritual, which emphasised the marginalisation of the match. Charlton were abject. Their fate was confirmed by a late goal from Steven Gillespie, who closed down goalkeeper Ben Williams, and blocked an attempted clearance. ‘He’s been doing that all game, fair do’s,’ said Jones, as we headed down an unmarked staircase which led to the main reception.

It had been a profitable evening, in one sense at least. Jones revealed Lomas, the St Johnstone manager, had offered him £50 a week to monitor English players. It transpired he was in London visiting his children, and building a business case to broaden the Perth club’s recruitment base. He called Jones the following day, asking him to travel to Scotland, to meet his chairman. The scout’s luck just might have changed: ‘It’s all sweet. With Rangers going sideways, a Europa League place opens up. Steve wants me to talk about setting up a scouting network for them. All this has come about by me sitting next to him at a match. That’s how this game works. It is about being in the right place at the right time.’

His enthusiasm was infectious, yet there was still a sense of transience; Padfield and Halsey would be looking for new clubs in the summer. The financial cataclysm in Scottish football would claim Owen, too. Fate had not finished with Jones. The mileage men were increasingly expendable. Good judges such as David Pleat, who acted as a mentor to aspiring managers like Dean Austin in addition to operating as a recruitment consultant to Tottenham, understood the strictures of a new breed of manager and chief executive:

‘A scout has got to be loyal, conscientious, and he’s got to feel he’s being listened to. Otherwise he gets very irritated and anxious, and he starts telling people, “Eh. Saw a fucking player last week. Told the manager, he wasn’t interested. You want to go and have a look at him.” What happens then is they all start talking to each other. I know they do. I’ve been in the room with them over the years and they are nice people, who love the game. They’re either not wealthy enough to let it go, or they’ve not got another hobby to distract them. Their life revolves around meeting people and going to football matches. But I have to say, the forty pence-a-milers aren’t listened to probably as much as they should be. They’re disregarded. Therefore, when you start adding up the money, which we did at Tottenham, you start asking “What are we getting back for this?” Some of them don’t write proper reports, you see. They’re not emailing, and I remember Alan Sugar saying to me, “I don’t want names on the back of envelopes, you’ve got to learn technology boy.” They won’t survive.

‘You need a chief scout. You need things properly organised. But I see a lot of, for want of a better word, random scouts. Without purpose, you know? You should ask the questions – who are you going to watch, why are you going to watch them, there has to be a reason. A lot of them just watch games, and they’ll put their report in, without adding anything of note to the pool of knowledge. We all know who the better players are in any given team. I’ll give you an example. Watford played Blackpool last week. I was going to go, but my back hurt and I decided not to. After the game, Dave Bassett called me. He said it was very poor and that I’d missed nothing. I asked about Matt Phillips because I knew he’d be a bit better than the others. Sure enough, Dave said he was the only one worth bothering about. He’s moving upwards, but I don’t know whether he will be quite good enough. I know the players off by heart, and I’m not unique, lots of people do. Harsh as it sounds you don’t need to pay people mileage to confirm what you already know.’

So, what did Sheffield United get for their £4, the going rate for another night on the road? Jones devoted the first six pages of his report to a dissection of Colchester’s shape at defensive and attacking corners. He also annotated the roles and movement of each player at set pieces. This led into a general comments section. For all you budding English teachers out there, he couldn’t quite get the hang of the word ‘their’:

Colchester were hardworking, disciplined, organised, and competitive. They came with a game plan, scored an early goal and then defended with there [
sic
] lives. At times, they rode there [
sic
] luck. They looked to hit CAFC on the counter, or directly long. When attacking from GK they would push 15-9 onto the centre halves, and 22-16 onto full backs. GK would target 15 with 9-16-22 gambling off. If first phase isn’t won, Rowlands and Izzet work hard to win ball back and regain possession. They move the ball wide for 16 or 22, who then play inside with Gillespie and Odejayi. If possession isn’t kept, they get bodies in quickly behind the ball. They make themselves compact and defend deep to allow opposition to come onto them. When it breaks down, they go again.

Jones considered Colchester’s most viable strengths to be their physicality, discipline and work ethic. He warned of their threat at set plays, the potency of their long throws, and of the potential of Wordsworth ‘if he is in the mood’. He felt they were too rigid in their game plan, and lacked pace, especially at the back. He advised targeting centre half Tom Eastman, whose positioning earmarked him as their weakest defender. And he warned:

Playing 4–4–2 against these will give them an edge as they can match us up. They are big and strong, and that might frustrate us. There [
sic
] not really playing for anything as they seem to be safe and will finish mid table. Playing 4–3–3 will move them about, especially in wide areas at full back. Target the right back Wilson, who stands off the winger. The two CH will head it and compete in the air all day. With the GK coming for everything from wide areas, there may be chances with crosses into the box. In central areas there are only two of them. They may be experienced, but there [
sic
] legs have gone a bit and we can pass around them.

Each player, in order of team shape, was ranked as follows:

1 Ben Williams Age: 29 Height: 183cm / 6’ 0"
Position: GK Rating: C Foot: Right

Not the biggest. Kicks well hands and floor. Comes for crosses. Wasn’t tested enough.

20 Brian Wilson Age: 28 Height: 178cm / 5’ 10"
  Position: RB Rating: D Foot: Right

Didn’t want to join in. Stood off marker. Over-covered, and allowed play to get in behind him. Lacked pace. Weakest full back.

4 Magnus Okuonghae Age: 26 Height: 189cm / 6’ 2"
Position: CH Right Side Rating: C Foot: Right

Big, strong, athletic. Competes well in the air. Good upper body strength. Strongest CH. Threat both boxes.

18 Tom Eastman Age: 20 Height: 191cm / 6’ 3"
  Position: CH Left side Rating: D Foot: Right

Weakest CH. Competes well in the air. Got pinned, rolled and moved about too easily. Lacks recovery pace. Threat both boxes.

25 John White Age: 25 Height: 182cm / 6’ 0"
  Position: LB Rating: C Foot: Left

Sat in rarely got on. Long throw final third. Got caught with pace down the side of him. Experienced at this level.

16 Ian Henderson Age: 27 Height: 179cm / 5’ 10"
  Position: RM Rating: D Foot: Right

Poor game. Didn’t get around marker. Played out/in. Can play better.

10 Kemal Izzet Age: 31 Height: 173cm / 5’ 8"
  Position: Holding Mid Rating: C Foot: Right

Busy. Tenacious. Holder. Lacks presence. Moves the ball sideways.

17 Martin Rowlands Age: 33 Height: 175cm / 5’ 9"
  Position: CM attacking Rating: C Foot: Right

Experienced. Tenacious. Sees a pass. Patient. Disciplined in role.

22 Anthony Wordsworth Age: 23 Height: 185cm / 6’ 1"
  Position: LM Rating: C Foot: Left

Good size. Good range. Can be a threat if in the mood. Lacks pace. Plays out/in. Quite happy to play at this level. Good left foot.

9 Steven Gillespie Age: 26 Height: 175cm / 5’ 9"
Position: CF Rating: B Foot: Right

Good work ethic. Chased lost causes. Worked there [
sic
] back four. Gambles off well. Decent in the channels.

15 Kayode Odejayi Age: 30 Height: 190cm / 6’ 3"
  Position: CF Rating: D Foot: Right

Target. Nothing sticks. Poor technically. Poor when back to goal. Strong, athletic. Lacks mobility.

All that remained was to answer 15 key questions. The 16th, about Colchester’s penalty drills and personnel, was not applicable.

How many players in midfield
? 10–17 act as a shield in front of the back four. They are both experienced in this role. The two wide men tuck in to overload centrally.

How many back players, and do they push either of the full backs into midfield to mark flank players?
The back four stayed as a four and got in 22–16 to cover CAFC wide players when defending. From opposition GK, they get two banks of four and make it tight and compact.

How deep do the flank players play?
Both wide men drop in to support. 22 is reluctant at times and is laboured getting back in.

Do they ever push out quickly from the back either in free play or from free kicks?
No they were quite happy to defend there [
sic
] 18yd line and allow CAFC to have the ball in front. Then they just clear there [
sic
] lines and defend again.

Do they have one or two big central defenders?
Both centre halves are big and strong and compete well in the air.

Do they have one or two big front players?
15 is there [
sic
] target and outlet.

Do they play with a winger, if so, which side?
Both wingers played out/in rather than squaring up FB and getting around him. Henderson is the quicker one but he lacks quality. 22 has quality and is a threat.

Is the goalkeeper big? Is he good on crosses?
GK isn’t the biggest and struggled making the right decisions when coming for the ball. At times was left in no-man’s land.

Does the keeper throw the ball out? Which full back is the most willing to accept it?
GK kicks every time, targeting Odejayi up top.

Do they build up from the back, through midfield, or do they play balls early to the front players?
No they are very direct in there [
sic
] play. The back four will look for 15 early either diagonally or directly.

Do they pressure the ball well? Early?
Gillespie will work the line well if opposition are playing out from the back. Once he goes, the others shut down space to force long ball.

Do they have any outstanding players?
Wordsworth, Rowlands are not outstanding but will both be a threat.

Do they have any particularly aggressive players?
Izzet, Rowlands, Gillespie will put there [
sic
] foot in and get around the park.

Do they have anybody who is frightened of a fierce challenge?
Wilson the right FB dropped off and didn’t want to engage wide player.

Do they have anyone who can throw the ball long?
White in the last third can hit 6yd line with a long throw.

The report was 1,677 words in length. Jones was on Dickensian, penny a line, rates. Yet those around him, his peers, respected his unconsidered professionalism, and empathised with his ambitions. Barry Lloyd, Brighton’s former manager, who was involved in the club’s burgeoning youth recruitment programme, spoke for the men who rarely speak for themselves:

‘Steve’s in dire straits. I don’t know how he does it. I hope he bleedin’ gets out of it quick, touch wood, but it’s only the love of the game that keeps him going, and a good missus. That’s another thing you need. You have to have an understanding family, because her indoors wants to see a few quid. She wants a holiday, wants something nice and you’re chasing shadows to get that kind of dough in. People don’t understand that pressure. It’s another thing about the game that does your head in.’

‘
I’VE BEEN DOING
this for six years, and these three people have influenced me more than anyone. They have my respect. That’s why I asked them to come along. We’ve spent many an hour in the car, or on the tube, talking about the general state of football. We talk every day on the phone. We go out every day. I’ve known them through the system, and I trust them, and that’s why they’re around this table. I’m learning from these guys because they do what I want to do. Listen to them. . . . .’