The Nurse's Secret Love (BWWM Romance) (4 page)

CHAPTER 6 - The News

I stared at the doctor as he walked out of the emergency room to tell us the news about Mark and his accident. My heart was in my stomach and I felt heavy pressure on me. Up until now everything seemed to be very black and white, and now it was complex and heavy with emotion. The last month had been a whirlwind of experiences and torment. I had crossed the friend line with one of my best friends, Dr. Mark Waters. He was my dearest friend, but lately we had more chemistry between us than ever before. Then it escalated and finally exploded when we went to a conference together in Savannah. We did something that we should not have, we were intimate and had sex.

Deep down I was happy and relieved to have that experience with him because I did love him. However, Mark has a wife and although they’ve had a rocky relationship, she is in fact his wife. It made me feel guilty beyond belief, even though I knew that his wife did not deserve him. She always seemed like a gold digger to me. Now, however, none of that mattered. All that mattered now was Mark. He was in the emergency room being operated on after being in a horrible car accident. All I could think about was how badly I wanted him to be okay. I could not lose him. Losing him would be the worst thing, because I loved him.

The doctor walked toward Mark’s wife. She seemed shaken and she was crying, so I felt sympathetic to her. It killed me that I couldn’t run up to the doctor and find out what the news was but I waited. Karen was his wife and she deserved to get the news first and in solitude. After the doctor talked to her for a few minutes a nurse escorted Karen down the hall. Then the doctor walked over to my co-workers and me. Since Mark was a doctor here at this hospital, and I was a nurse, it was not unusual for us to be waiting together for the news. I took a deep breath and then the doctor spoke.

“He’s going to be okay. He’s lost a lot of blood and he’s weak. He’s going to make it though.” We all sighed in relief. I erupted into tears. Then the doctor continued, “However, there is something else.”

I prepared for the worst. Would Mark have brain damage? Amnesia? What is it?

“Mark has had severe damage to both of his hands. Every single bone in his hands is broken and the nerves have been severed and damaged. It will be a long and painful recovery. It is certain that he won’t be able to perform surgery anymore, so his career as a surgeon is over,” the doctor said.

Everyone in our group looked at each other in shock.  For me it was very sad, but I was just so glad that he was alive. A few moments ago I thought I would never see Mark again, and now I knew that he was alive and he would live. That was enough for me. I was so happy that I wanted to jump for joy. I wanted to run into the room and hug him and kiss him. It was torture that I couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t be right. Only family were allowed in, as was hospital protocol, and I was not his family. I would have to wait. I sat in the chair and sobbed for an hour before I could move again. I never saw Karen emerge from his room, and I realized that she must really love him to sit at his side. It only made me feel guiltier for having an affair with him. If things weren’t complicated before, now they were more complicated than ever.

“Latoya, you should go home. Get some sleep,” Jon said. He was a nurse at the hospital with me. He had been there when Mark was wheeled in and he had stopped me from being hysterical. Now he was looking out for me again, and he was right. I was so tired and shaken. I was scared to leave in case there was other news of Mark’s condition, but I needed to sleep.

I decided to take a cab home because I was too distraught to drive. Once I got home I cried again for hours. I couldn’t stop. It was uncontrollable. I now knew how much I loved Mark because of how I was reacting to almost losing him. I collapsed on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

In the middle of the night I woke up in a cold sweat. It took me a few seconds to realize that I was having a nightmare. I pushed it out of my mind and fell back to sleep. Then I woke up again in the middle of a nightmare, that time I remembered what it was about. It was about Mark and he had not survived the accident. It felt very real and I could not fall back to sleep. I checked my phone for messages and had none. I longed to see a message from Mark, but of course that was impossible. So I looked at our past text messages and it made me feel better. I laughed at some of the jokes that we had sent each other before. Then I fell asleep on the couch.

The next morning I called the hospital for two reasons. One was to check on Mark’s condition and the second was to trade shifts with another nurse. It would be impossible for me to work today with so much on my mind. It would be unfair to the patients and it was dangerous. I could give a patient the wrong medicine in my distraught state. I traded shifts and took the next two days off. I spoke to Jon and he told me Mark was in stable condition and was awake.

I hung up and took a long hot shower and got dressed to visit Mark in the hospital. I would keep it short because I did not want to cause him any stress, but I had to go see him. I just had to.

When I arrived, I stopped in the gift shop and bought a large bouquet of sunflowers. I took a deep breath and made my way to the floor where he was. I stopped at the nurse’s desk where a few of the nurses gave me a hug. They all knew that Mark and I were good friends. I don’t think any of them suspected that we had an affair, or so I hoped, but they were genuinely concerned about my distraught state.

“Is there anyone in the room?” I asked Jon.

“No, not at the moment. I just checked on him and no visitors at the moment,” he said.

I took a deep breath and walked in.

Mark lay in the hospital bed, black and blue from the accident. His hands were elevated and wrapped in bandages.

“Hey,” I said.

“Latoya, I’m so glad you came,” he whispered.

I set the flowers on his bedside.

“Thank you,” he said.

“You look good. How do you feel?”

“Like I got hit by a truck,” he said.

“I’m so sorry, Mark,” my voice cracked. I was fighting back tears.

“Latoya…”

“I’m sorry, I won’t cry. It’s just very hard.”

“I understand,” he said.

“I’ll go now, I just wanted to check in on you,” I quickly got up and rushed out of the room. I walked fast down the hallway. I was about to burst into tears.  Then I heard the clacking of heels and looked up. It was Karen. She looked like she had just had her hair done and her makeup was perfect. I quickly ducked into a closet so that she wouldn’t see me. I leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths. I needed to pull myself together.

Then I heard voices.

“Will he be okay, doctor? Tell me the truth about his hands.”

I opened the door just a tiny bit and saw Karen talking to the doctor that was overseeing Mark’s case.

“Honestly it will be a slow recovery. It will be months to years of rehabilitating. He will need an at home nurse to feed him and clothe him unless you are going to do it yourself.”

“No, I will hire a nurse. I don’t have time to babysit him,” Karen replied in a cold manner.

I could see that the doctor’s face was stunned but he maintained composure and kept going. 

“He can be released in a week or two as he is stable and well, it is just his hands.”

“Tell me in all honesty. Will he be able to work again as a surgeon? Will he still have work?” she asked.

“No, sadly he will lose the strength and stableness in his hands that are required to work as a surgeon,” he said with sadness in his voice.  “It is a shame and great loss for our hospital because Mark was one of the best…”

“I know that’s why I married him,” she interrupted the doctor. 

Once again he was stunned.

“What about disability? Will he be getting that and will it match his salary?” she asked once again in a dry manner. There was not a tear in her eye.

“I’m not sure, that is something for human resources here at the hospital. I can tell you who to talk to,” he said.

“Thank you, doctor, that is all,” she said, walking by him.

I closed the door and seethed with anger. It was obvious that my thoughts of her as a gold digger were true. All she cared about was whether or not Mark would be bringing in large amounts of money.  I opened the door and ran to my car. I needed to get out of there before I did something drastic.

I went home and thought for a long time. I wanted to tell Mark what she had said, but I knew that it wouldn’t help in his healing. I would have to keep my mouth shut. All I could do was be there for him if he asked me to. I would have to stay away no matter how much it hurt me.

CHAPTER 7 - Rehab

Two weeks went by and I only saw Mark when I stopped into his room for a few minutes once a day while I was working my shift. I was trying very hard to distance myself.  At two weeks exactly, he was released into the care of his wife. It made me nervous to know that she would be watching over him. She did not care at all.

Then one night at three in the morning my suspicions came true. I woke up to a phone call at three o’clock in the morning. It was a nurse. It was Mark’s nurse.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you but you are listed in the phone number list for Mark as a friend I can call if needed,” she said.

“Yes, of course. Is he okay? What is it?” I said in a panic.

“He is fine. He is sleeping. It is just…” she said hesitantly.

“Yes, go on.”

“It is sort of personal, but you see his wife was supposed to relieve me at ten o’clock tonight. She has not been home, and I’m afraid that…”

“What? Tell me, it is okay. Mark and I are close friends.”

“Well, when I first came today I noticed a bunch of opened drawers and sections of clothes missing in the closet. I’m not sure if she plans on coming back at all.”

Tears gathered in my eyes and I suddenly had a hard time swallowing. That bitch! That awful bitch just ran away like that, and at a time like this!

“I will be right there. Can you wait another fifteen minutes?”

“Yes, that is fine. Mark is sleeping,” she said.

I hung up the phone and rapidly got dressed and washed up. Then I was in the car on the way to Mark’s house. The streets were empty at this hour and there was sadness to them. I cried the entire way. I felt sad for Mark. To be left by his wife at such a time was the worst thing she could do. It would break his heart, and knowing that he would be hurting made me hurt as well.

I arrived and talked to the nurse, getting the information on when he needed to take his medications and his eating schedule and all that she did for him. It was second nature to me as it was what I did at the hospital. Mark was in good hands in my care, more so because I loved him. She left and I went to sit by his side.  He was just as gorgeous as ever. His blonde locks were messy and beautiful and I longed to run my fingers through it. I walked around the apartment. Mark made lots of money and this apartment was worth a million dollars.

It was very extravagant. The front door led to a marble entryway and a grand staircase spiraled up into the top floor. There were fluted columns that reached all the way to the ceiling. It was a mix of modern and old plantation style architecture. The kitchen was massive and everything was granite and stainless steel.  The sitting room had a large fireplace and luxurious furniture. I went back upstairs and sat by Mark in his bed. Even the bedroom was lush with velvet curtains and a large master ensuite bathroom with a large soaking tub.

I sat and eventually fell asleep in the chair.

***

“Latoya?” I heard Mark’s voice in my sleep.

I slowly woke up. I looked at him. His blue eyes were bloodshot and he looked confused.

“What’s going on?”

I jumped up in my seat. “Mark, how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. I’m on lots of pain medication as you know, so I feel alright,” he laughed a little. “What are you doing here though?” he asked.

“The nurse called me last night. She was done with her shift and…”

“And Karen wasn’t here,” he said completing my sentence.

“Yes,” I said my voice barely a whisper.

“She’s not coming back, is she?” he asked, his eyes getting watery.

My heart hurt to see him in pain. “I don’t know. It does seem that she took some clothes. That’s what the nurse said.

“I knew this was coming. She had changed since my accident. She was no longer willing to try to save our marriage.”

“Mark, I’m so sorry. I know it’s a lot to deal with right now. Not only are you in physical pain, but the emotional pain,” I was holding back tears but it was obvious in my voice.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. I’ve been preparing for this. But you shouldn’t have to come take care of me. Another nurse should be coming this morning. I’ll just have her schedule two nurses for day and night shifts.”

“Okay, but I don’t mind. I like taking care of you.”

“You do? After everything that happened, I thought that you might hate me.”

“No, I could never hate you. Not ever. Now let me get your meds,” I got up and went to the kitchen. Not just to get his meds but so that I could cry a little.

I looked over his schedule and saw that there was a doctor coming in a few hours for a house call and then I got his meds together.

“It seems you have a doctor’s appointment in two hours. If you would let me, I’m going to cancel the day nurse and take care of you myself.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking me. I’m offering.”

“Well, I have to say I have been bored and have been in want of good company. It’s depressing not having anyone to talk to.”

“It’s settled. Here are your meds. I’ll be right back.”

Finally after what seemed like a decade, the doctor arrived. He examined Mark while I looked on. Mark was still very silent and didn’t say much.

“Looks like it’s slow healing. Is it still painful?”

“Beyond belief,” Mark said.

It hurt my heart to hear him say he was in pain.

“I’m going to change your pain medication to something a tiny bit stronger. You’re not going to heal if you are in pain. Don’t try to get up and get around on it. You will not be stable. Here is a prescription for a bottle. I trust your nurse can get this for you?” he handed the prescription to me.

Mark gave me a look. I don’t think he was comfortable with me being called his nurse.

The doctor left and I sat on the side of the bed.

“I will go pick this up. Do you need anything before I leave?”

“No, I’m okay for now. I’ll probably pass out in no time.”

“Promise you won’t get up until I come back?”

“I promise,” he said laughing.

I started to leave the room.

“Latoya.”

I turned and looked at him with his jaw set in that hard line that I was becoming used to.

“Thank you for taking care of me. I really appreciate it,” he said in the most sincere way possible. I sighed and saw a touch of softness cross his face, but it was only an instant.

***

When I came back, Mark was asleep. I did some light housework and then I called the hospital. I was going to take the week off to take care of Mark. I was able to get the week off. I took a nap on the couch. I don’t remember falling asleep, but I guess I did.

Later, I opened my eyes. I could see the soft light coming in through the windows. Then I felt a presence near me. It was hazy and it felt like a dream. I opened my mouth to speak but he silenced me with a “shhh…’’ He was right I didn’t want to spoil this moment by talking. He brushed his lips softly on top of mine. Then he kissed me. I moaned in response. It was a long deep passionate kiss and it was full of longing. My heart felt warm and I was full of joy. Then he pulled away and stood up.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself,” he said.

“You shouldn’t be standing up on the new pain meds. At least not without me by your side.”

“I know, but it’s worn off. I think it’s time for another round, and I’m actually really hungry.”

I jumped up and was ready to go into nurse mode. Nothing made me happier. I grabbed his arm and led him to the kitchen. He was doing well. His body was fully healed; it was just his hands that were not well. So he was able to walk around fine.

I sat him down at the kitchen table and heated up some hearty homemade stew full of chicken and vegetables that I had delivered from my favorite restaurant. It was the best thing for him. We ate together and laughed and talked about old times. We never brought up our affair or even talked about Karen. I knew that he needed to stay in good spirits if he was to heal. As a nurse I knew that if a person didn’t feel good mentally then they wouldn’t heal. Happiness and laughter was the best healing possible. Then I had a great idea.

“Hey, after we’re done here I think we should find a funny movie to watch. In fact we should make it a point to watch two funny movies a day. Laughter heals. I think you know that, Dr. Waters.”

“Every day?”

“Yes, look I know you aren’t going to like this, but it is done. I called into work and took the week off. I want to be here for you, to take care of you, and it’s already been done so there’s no point in saying no.”

Mark’s eyes opened wide. His blue eyes sparkled and large grin came across his face. He looked genuinely happy for the first time since the accident. It felt good to help him feel good. I smiled and continued, “So, funny movie?”

“Yeah, but I get to pick the movie. You always pick a chick flick romantic comedy. I want like a man road trip movie or something.”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do. You always have. You’re such a chick!”

We laughed and teased each other about everything, not just movies. It felt good to be back to our old selves. Our friendship was strong.

The entire week passed and besides that one kiss when I was asleep, everything stayed professional. It was a fine line between flirting but being just friends. It helped Mark stay in high spirits. We spent our time eating nutritious meals and laughing. It was a fun time and it was almost as if he wasn’t hurt at all.

After that week, I had to go back to work, but Mark only hired one nurse and I would watch over him when I wasn’t at work. This schedule worked out well and we kept it going for a month. I noticed a change in Mark and he was happier every day. He didn’t seem hopeless and he had a good outlook towards his life even though he wouldn’t be able to be a surgeon anymore.

However, a month later something changed.