The One I Love (37 page)
Tom led the mourners to the graveside and Jim held Leslie and Jane held on to Elle, who had been allowed out of hospital to say her own goodbye. Rose stood to the side with Kurt and Irene. Alexandra’s family bowed their heads in grief and in gratitude that the worst of their suffering was over. Whatever the police investigation might uncover, Alexandra was safe now. The priest anointed the coffin and said his prayers. Jack sang as they lowered her into the ground. When everyone had gone Tom was left alone, staring at the mound of fresh flowers covering his wife who had been dead for more than a year. Jane let the others
go to the car and joined him. She slipped her hand into his and he squeezed it.
“The inquest will take at least a year,” he said. “I don’t even know if I can bear to hear the details.”
“She’s at peace now,” she said. “That’s what matters.”
“I hope so,” he said. “I’m going to go on that trip.”
“Good,” she said.
“You’re sure you won’t come?” he said, turning to look at her.
“This is something you have to do on your own,” she said.
“Too soon.”
“Too soon.”
Together they walked away from Alexandra’s grave and to the waiting cars. Tom stopped and turned to look at it one last time.
If somebody close to you dies, move seats, you said. So that’s what I’ll do. I love you
.
Epilogue
15 March 2009
Dear Tom,
As you know, the post-mortem revealed that Alexandra died of asphyxiation. What it didn’t reveal was that she was a fighter, but you already knew that. Our forensics team found skin cells under her nails, and although this DNA is not currently on our database we believe that it is only a matter of time before we find the person responsible for her death and when we do Alexandra will help us put that individual away.
On a personal note I just want to say that I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve never said that out loud and I wanted to. Although I didn’t ever meet your wife, through you I came to know and care for her. Trust that no matter how long it takes we will keep looking and we will get justice for you, for her and for her family.
Now, remember what I said – live your life, you’ve lost enough.
Sincerest regards,
Trish Lowe
Patricia Lowe
Family Liaison Officer
Clontarf Garda Station
From
: [email protected]
Subject: You’re not going to believe what I’m doing
20 August (3 days ago)
Tom,
It’s only been eight months and it feels like a lifetime has passed since I drove you to the airport. It’s been fantastic to keep up with all your adventures through the blog. Good old Leslie for setting that up. As you know, she and Jim are engaged but did you know that she’s opting for a breast reconstruction? Probably not. I only heard it through Elle and she wasn’t supposed to say anything. Anyway, I’m delighted for her. How’s India? The last time you blogged you had the trots. I hope the situation has resolved itself and you are no longer a slave to your bottom half. I’m writing to tell you that I applied to study medicine as a mature student and I got in!!!!! I know it sounds insane but the gallery isn’t doing a lot of business at the moment and, let’s face it, the way things are going we’ll probably have to shut our doors in a few months. Elle isn’t ready to paint yet and when she does I think it’s healthier for her to work with someone else. I’ve told her and she agrees. I have money saved and besides I know I’d love doing medicine. I’m so excited. I’m going to be starting in the College of Surgeons in October, which I’m very relieved about because Kurt would have had a fit if I’d joined him in Trinity.
Elle is well. She’s taking some time off and she’s reading a lot about her condition. She’s looking at alternative therapies and Christ knows what else. I swear if she read that painting your arse red and dancing the conga helped she’d do it, but so far so good. She’s working with her doctors and she seems happy. I don’t really know any more. I just have to trust that she’ll be okay. Maybe when I’m a doctor I can find a cure. I’d put in one of those smiley faces that people do to suggest they’re joking but I’ve forgotten how to.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you my news.
I miss you.
Jane X
From
: [email protected]
Subject: You’re not going to believe what I’ve just done
21 August (2 days ago)
Jane,
I am so proud of you. I think it’s amazing and brave and I know that you can do it because you have proved you are capable of so much. I also know that you will make a fantastic doctor because you’re kind and caring and even when those around you are driving you up the wall (How is Rose by the way?) you have the patience of a saint. I wish you all the luck in the world but I know you don’t need it.
I left India yesterday. My head and my arse had an argument and my arse won. I wish I could have stayed on but honestly the water was killing me. I’m en route to Kenya and I can’t wait. I have an old pal living there. He’s actually part of a construction team building houses so I’m thinking about sticking around there for a while and working with him. It will be good to get my hands dirty again. I hear the Niall Mellon Township Trust is looking for volunteers to build homes in South Africa in March so I’m going to head that way and give them a hand, although I think I have to get sponsorship. Tell you what – if you come out I’ll sponsor you and you can sponsor me. Think about it, ten days can change not just their lives but yours too.
I really miss you too and I look forward to the day I see you again.
Tom X
From
: [email protected]
Subject: I don’t believe you!
22 August (1 day ago)
Jane,
I just got an email from Tom congratulating me on getting new tits!!!!! I can’t believe you told him. Mortified!
Leslie
From
: [email protected]
RE: I don’t believe you!
10:20 p.m. (3 hours ago)
See Leslie’s mail, I think I just landed you in it!!!! Sorry.
Jane
From
: [email protected]
RE: I don’t believe you!
1:20 p.m. (1 hour ago)
No problem. These days I blame everything on the medication.
Elle
From
: [email protected]
RE: I don’t believe you!
1:21 p.m.
Elle,
You just cc’d me into that mail so now I know your dirty little tricks!
Leslie
From
: [email protected]
RE: I don’t believe you!
1:22 p.m
L,
You see, I would never have done that if I wasn’t on medication!
xE
Acknowledgements
The first time I heard Jack Lukeman sing we were both teenagers. His voice was as big then as it is now and it’s something I’ll never forget. He was a kid and he could silence a roomful of adults with just one bar of “Summertime”. I’ve witnessed his talent and career unfold over the past twenty years and some of my best times have been hanging out with one or all of the Jack camp. I was there in the beginning, when Jack led the Black Romantics and they played night after night in the Da Club. I took my turn selling the first album
Wax
during the interval. Once or twice I was roped into carrying gear through the streets of Dublin heading for 38 South Circular Road, which was the Jack base camp for all of the nineties. So many demos were recorded there; so many people lived there on and off, Jack in the back flat, David in the front, Martin upstairs, there was always something going on. Football, EU canned meats, comedy gigs, phone calls to and from America in the middle of the night, drums, bass, vocals, drinking, smoking, laughing. When I think about the nineties I think about 38 SCR and it always makes me smile.
The first time I conceived the smallest kernel of the idea for
The One I Love
was while standing on a balcony with Martin, looking down at the crowd at a sell-out show. On stage Jack was singing and doing his thing, but it was the crowd that captured my imagination. They were in awe, transfixed and completely silent. I made a joke to Martin that we should set up a church, the Church of Jack, and make some real money. The image stayed with me and over the years, seeing a lot of the same faces come to show after show, the idea of fans becoming friends wouldn’t let go. I spoke to Jack, Martin and David about the idea for this book two years ago, and not only were they really supportive but they gave me
carte blanche
to incorporate all Jack’s mat-erial and I’m so grateful to them for trusting me not to f**k up. If you read this book and your interest in Jack Lukeman is piqued, his website is
www.jacklukeman.com
. I hope you enjoy his music as much as I do.
So to all in the Jack camp, beginning of course with Jack Lukeman, thank you for the songs and the laughter over the past twenty-something years. Martin Clancy, you are and always will be one of my best friends, and I’ll be forever grateful for the day you walked into my world. David Constantine, that night in Northumberland Road, me on crutches, the meter out of coins and a lunatic screaming, “I’ve gone blind” – that was our Vietnam. I love you, man! Myra Clancy, you rock, and Patricia Clancy, I can honestly say there isn’t one of us that you haven’t mothered at some point: thank you.
I’d also like to thank Ken Browne. When my husband introduced us fifteen years ago, Ken was a guitar player in a rock band. We lost contact and didn’t see him for years and when we reconnected we discovered that he had transformed into an incredible artist. He, like me, is inspired by music and uses it in his work. He’s energetic with the ability to say more in a minute than some say in a lifetime. He’s deeply passionate about his work and when I’m around him he reminds me how lucky we are to be in a position to be creative and to do the things we love doing. (When my pal Enda reads this he will yawn and make an unseemly gesture with his right hand. Apologies, Enda, I’m finished; the luvvie has left the room.) I asked Ken if I could pick his brain for this book and I also asked if I could include him, and he was kind enough not only to grant me my wish but also to act excited about it. So, thanks again for your enthusiasm, exuberance and for the beautiful painting that rests on my sitting-room wall. For anyone who wishes to view the works I mention in the book, his website is
www.kenbrowneart.com
OK, luvvie bit over. I’d like to thank all my other pals who I’ve mentioned in the three other books, my family, and everyone at Penguin, UK and Ireland, especially Patricia Deevy and Michael McLoughlin, Valerie Kerins for being as good a PR agent as she is a friend, and Faith O’Grady my ever-patient agent. I’d like to thank Rowohlt Germany, Pocket Books USA and Poolbeg Ireland for all their support and hard work on my behalf. I’d like to thank my husband for his love, support and kindness, and finally I’d like to thank anyone who has taken the time to read these acknowledgements!
Permissions
Jack Lukeman lyrics are reproduced with the permission of Lukeman, Constantine and Clancy.
Chapter 1
: “Universe” (Lukeman, Constantine).
Chapter 2
: “Fear Is The Key” (Lukeman, Clancy); “Don’t Fall In Love” (Lukeman, Constantine); “Move On” (Lukeman, Constantine); “Bedsprings” (Lukeman, Constantine, Clancy); and “Georgie Boy” (Lukeman, Constantine, Clancy).
Chapter 3
: “You Can’t Get Bitter” (Lukeman).
Chapter 4
: “So Far Gone” (Lukeman, Constantine, Clancy).
Chapter 5
: “Authentic Fake” (Lukeman).
Chapter 6
: “Little Man” (Lukeman, Constantine) and “Edge Of Town” (Lukeman, Constantine).
Chapter 7
: “Chocolate Eyes” (Lukeman).
Chapter 8
: “Numero Uno” (Lukeman) and “Metropolis Blue” (Lukeman, Constantine).
Chapter 9
: “No Goodbyes” (Lukeman, Constantine).