The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional (72 page)

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. JAMES 1:5

ONE OF THE ISSUES that often disrupts marital unity is differences of opinion on how to rear children. One wife said, "We didn't have any problems in our marriage until the baby came. Since then, we haven't had anything but problems. Our styles of parenting are so different."

Actually, this is a very common problem, and how you handle the problem will make or break your marriage. You may never agree on all the details of parenting, but you must find some common ground.

Let me suggest that the starting place is prayer. Pray that God will bring the two of you together on the basics of child rearing. Also, pray that he will help you understand the best way to rear your child. God is concerned about your children, and he also knows them perfectly. Therefore, when you ask for wisdom, God is fully qualified to help. James 1:5 reassures us that if we ask for wisdom, God will give it to us. He wants to guide us, and he can.

No one is a perfect parent, but you can avoid some pitfalls. Your parenting will improve when you avoid the pitfalls of overprotection, permissiveness, or excessive distance from your children. Remember that your ultimate goal is for your children to grow up secure in your love, strong in their faith, and with sound character. As you and your spouse talk together and pray together, the Lord will help you accomplish these goals together.

Father, raising children can be difficult. Thank you for promising wisdom to us when we ask for it. l pray that you will bring my spouse and me together as we discuss parenting styles and approaches. You know us and our children perfectly, and I pray that you will show us the best way to rear our kids to know and love you.

"For I know the plans I have for you,"says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." JEREMIAH 29:11

HAVE YOU EVER FELT as if your marriage was hopeless? Contrary to your present feelings, your future can be bright. God's plans for you are good, as the above passage reminds us. God gave these words to the prophet Jeremiah when the Israelites were in captivity in Babylon. They didn't think their present circumstances could be much worse! Many of them had been sent away to a foreign country, where the culture was antagonistic toward Jews. Those who were left at home faced conditions that were often desolate. They must have wondered if God had abandoned them, but his words to Jeremiah reassured them that he still had good plans for them. The same is true for you.

Past failures need not destroy your hope for the future. If you start making the right choices today, the prospects of a growing marriage are good. Your communication and understanding of each other can be much more intimate than you have ever known. As you forgive the past, share feelings, find understanding, and learn to love each other, you and your spouse can find fulfillment in your marriage.

This is not wishful thinking. It has become reality for hundreds of couples who have committed themselves to walk the road of reconciliation. It begins when you decide to make the most of what you have, one day at a time.

Father, thank you for this hopeful word from the book of Jeremiah. You never abandon your people, and you always have good plans for us. lam grateful for that reassurance for my marriage. Please help me to forgive things in the past, to make good choices in the present, and to look ahead to a fulfilled future.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 THESSALONIANS 5:18

IF YOU'RE IN A BAD MARRIAGE, you maybe tempted to run, but you know there must be a better way. There is, and it comes from making the most of what you have, one day at a time. Don't spoil your future by allowing bitterness to consume your spirit. Don't destroy yourself with self-pity. Don't drive your friends away by constantly refusing their comfort.

You can make your life miserable by focusing on your problems. Or you can say with the psalmist,"This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24). You may not be able to rejoice over the past or over your present situation, but you can rejoice that God has given you the ability to use this day for good. You can also follow the apostle Paul's challenge from 1 Thessalonians 5 to be thankful in all circumstances. This doesn't mean you must be thankful for all circumstances, but that in every situation, you can choose to see something for which to thank God. He is present in your circumstances, and the more you look for him, the more you will find him.

Don't try to live all of your future today. Jesus emphasized the importance of living one day at a time (see Matthew 6:34). Some good questions to ask yourself are What can I do today that may improve my situation? What do I need to pray about today? With whom do I need to talk today? What action do I need to take today? God has entrusted to you only the present, and wise use of today is all that he expects.

Father God, you have made today, and 1 will choose to rejoice in it regardless of my circumstances. I know you have good plans for me, and 1 am thankful that 1 can choose to use this day for good. Please help me to turn away from the negativity that only makes me miserable. I want to learn to see you in my circumstances.

Come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneel before the LORD our maker, for he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. If only you would listen to his voice today! PSALM 95:6-7

IN DIFFICULT MARRIAGES, we are tempted to wallow in our pain. Each day becomes a rerun of the past. But in God's economy, each day is an opportunity for change. Do a search for today in the Bible, and you'll find a long list of occasions when people were presented with a choice. That very day they could choose between following God or turning away, between listening to his voice or ignoring it. (See Psalm 95 and Deuteronomy 11:26-27 for just a few examples.) What they did "today" would set the tone for the days to follow. It's the same for you. All of your life cannot be straightened out today, but if you make the most of it, you can work on cleaning up one corner of your life. Choose a corner that you think is most important right now.

As you clean up the corners of your life day by day, all of life begins to look brighter. You cannot change your spouse? Then change your attitude about your spouse's behavior. Change your own behavior by confessing past failures. Ask God to help you do one kind deed for your spouse today. You cannot change your spouse, but you can influence your spouse. One act of kindness each day is likely to change the climate in your relationship, and eventually it may influence your spouse to reciprocate.

Never give up. There is always something good that can be done today. Making the most of today is the most powerful thing you can do for a better tomorrow.

Lord Jesus, l know that each day presents a choice. I can concentrate on my past struggles and remain in the same place, or 1 can choose to make a positive change. Please give me the courage and determination to make the right choices today. May my small steps forward bring our marriage to a stronger, more loving place.