The Only Ones (22 page)

The teacher found two rooms with a door between and put the kids in one and us in the one beside, so our kid and us could check each other. The rooms are not so big and as far as I could tell Ani did not get lost.

So the next part of our life, this is it. We all come in every morning, pry the kid out of the carrier or off our back, or, you know, peel them off our leg, or sometimes you peel the Parent off the kid, anyhow, once we are pried apart, the Parents go into our room and, you know, wave at the door. It was great. To be on the safe side, two of us took turns watching the other door of the classroom where our kids were, so no one would steal them. Sometimes the kids stopped waving long enough for, I don’t know, meetings. The Parents had a meeting too. So one mother is like, where is the arm guard? She was the only one who cared, the rest are like, everyone knows what is wrong with that. Everyone except me. Everyone knew more than me.

A lot of these Parents are, like, Grandparents, the Parent already died, so they are from another generation and were old enough to remember the old schools, before the Big One. They really knew a lot about school. I’m not saying they had the same opinion. They disagreed. Like, a good school is a Stretch, but others knew what is wrong with that, it could be a Strain.

Remember all the things I had to learn to be a Parent, the wrinkles, the neck, wind? Now I had to learn this, what was wrong with everything. It was interesting.

Like, indoor/outdoor? In that time, there was a new idea, it is more healthy to do things outdoors. You will not get the germs. It wasn’t just about school. They are starting to think Domes are not that great, period. Like, ok, inside the Dome, you’re not going to get something. But leave the Dome? You’re going to get everything. It is an Immune thing.

So then some other Parent explains what’s wrong with Outdoor Schools. Like, what about rain? Maybe they won’t get TB or SV. They could still catch their death of cold.

Another Parent said, how they went to school indoors, it was good enough for them. If it was good enough for them, it was good enough for the kids today, but another one said, they want their kid to have a better life. So when they said that, I learned I wasn’t the only one.

Here is something else I learned. Remember how I worried, what will happen if Ani goes to school? How I was always worried someone will find out what’s wrong with us? I wasn’t the only Parent who worried. I’m just saying this because maybe in your life something could happen that makes you think something is wrong with you and you’re the only one in the whole world that it is. Well I will tell you, what was wrong with us, Ani and me, it’s not the only thing that could be wrong. What was wrong with these other kids is they are not a hardy, they really could get something bad. Whatever is wrong with us, it isn’t that. These Parents took their kid’s life in their hand, just to go to school.

We went to this City Line school for about five months, then one morning, it was blocked. Caution tape, signs. One teacher had got sick. They didn’t say what it was, but a kid got sick too. They are required to shut down.

So I got what I thought we wanted. It is just us two again. I didn’t like it now.

This was a gray and windy day, and when Ani and me got back to our courtyard, I started to dig a little in the froze-up ground where the potatoes have been, and Ani is hopping in the cold. Then she just stops. I just stopped too. And I don’t know what this proves, but Ani looked at me and said, “Ani? Let’s go to school.”

I put her in the carrier, took her back to 261
^st
Street, and ducked under the caution tape on the steps to the school door, which is covered in boards. We weren’t the only ones there. About eight Parent/kid combos gathered at the front, even though it was a windy day. Remember those Parents who worried would their kids get something from being out of the home? I’ll tell you what these Parents got. They got mad. Think about how nervous we were in the first place, to even bring our kids out of our homes. Now this.

Somebody said, if this one school closed, we were entitled to a list of schools our kids could go to instead, even in other Zones. Man! How did they know that?

Someone else said, everyone else thinks something is wrong with us, by being City Line. The City Line kids have rights too.

So someone shouts, “City Line kids! City Line kids!” So we all shout, “City Line kids! City Line kids!”

We marched up Little Neck Parkway toward the Bay and are going to get on a boat and sail to Nassau County and force them to put our kids in school there, but a cop stops us for our own, you know, sake because the vigilantes in Nassau County are going to shoot us. They got someone to put us all on a group shaw and some hybro pulled it all the way to the Temporary Center, in Sunnyside, a really long ride. A few people came out to stare.

There was masks for all of us when we got out. The Grandmother named Doris Goodman went in with one other Parent, the rest of us waited outside and met three other mothers who told us what was wrong with most of the schools in Queens. In one hour Doris Goodman came out with a list of Out Of Zone schools that are Legally Obligated to accept our kid, if the kid doesn’t have something, so the other mothers look at the list and between them they knew what is wrong with every school on the list! So everyone cheered. The Catholic School is a Strain, the Utopia school is not even a Stretch. There is also the Jamaica Estates Dome school, which is the only really good school in Queens but they give you such a hard time why not go to this one Manhattan school that is Legally Obligated to take everyone, even us. There was a Zone crossing Pass for every Parent and a copy of the list. We even got travel coupons! Then we all got pulled back to the Alley Pond barricade where we all climb off and make a plan to meet here in the morning, eight Parent/kid combos.

Well guess what? Besides Ani and me? Nobody showed but Betty Feeny and her daughter Carmel. At least we got each other for Support. So off we go. We’re going to start off with the Catholic School. It is the closest. We walk there with our Pass.

It was a little hard to find but seemed ok and different from what I remembered from Catholic School in Corona. Besides that there is just eight kids in the whole school, the teachers make you change your clothes and leave them in a bag. The Parent too—they give you a kind of uniform and mask. It didn’t work, not even for fifteen minutes. Ani would not wear the uniform, she would not wear the mask, she would not sit in chairs, she could not even tie her shoes, she is expelled. Carmel is ok but scared to be the only one she knows so Betty pulls Carmel out and next day we meet again and try the school that the Sunnyside mothers said is not a Stretch. It’s on Utopia Parkway and even harder to find than Catholic School, but we see somebody climbing a fire escape so we just hide our carriers and follow them up to the roof where a young guy is in charge of five kids or so, all older than Ani. Man, I am getting used to kids! The young guy said hello and explained his plan. He did not intervene. He didn’t know how these kids had stayed alive. He did not want to rock the boat. Whatever that means, they did not have chairs in this school. So Ani did not have to sit in them. I think they had chalk.

We been here like half an hour when a girl who seemed regular in other ways starts walking backward. She did it for a long time too. So Betty goes up to the teacher and says, hello, she’s walking backward. So the teacher did not think he should intervene. He said she is just being herself.

So Betty asked the teacher, “Is she the only one?”

“Walking backward? In this group,” he looked around, “she could be the only one. But there are others. We think it serves some sort of purpose. We don’t know why they do it. We don’t want to absolutely forbid it. We don’t want to damage the cerebral flow.”

Well, Betty and I don’t know what that is and are not sure the teacher does, so Betty agrees with the Sunnyside mothers about the Stretch and wants me to come with her to Jamaica Estates. I don’t even know why I didn’t go. Later I really wished I left right then. Although the guy said the girl was the only one, in that group, I noticed others who walked backward, and pretty soon Ani began to do it too. They would put one hand against the chickenwire while they did it. They did it fast too. Ani practiced it at home, inside and out.

Look, I know the teacher wants them to be themself. But I don’t know if this is Ani’s self or the others’. She never walked backward before. At least she’s not myself. Still, if she is going to be like others, maybe it should be others
who walked forward.
Maybe others
who could tie their own shoes.

And then, if she walks backward, someone might think something is wrong with her. With others, it was just, ok, they are themself. But if Ani is herself, who knows where that will lead?

So now I don’t know what to do. She already has trouble finding her way. How could this help?

I walked us all the way to the Jamaica Estates Dome, but we could not get through their Lock, we have to pass a health test first. There is some other Parent trying to get her kid in, saying, we already passed a health test! That was the Hollis health test. This is the Jamaica Dome health test. Go to Jamaica Health Center. So we went with this other Parent, Ismirna, and her son Winston to the JHC which was really close. We pass the health test and go back to the Jamaica Estate Dome, get in the first Zone, what they call transition Zone, which is a new idea, for immunity, it has Vitamin D. Two other kids are playing there. Right away, Ani starts walking backward and it’s like, call the marines. Two mothers come up and hello, your child’s walking backward, and I’m like, “She’s not the only one! There are others!”

So one of these mothers says, “Well, maybe she should play with them.”

The Secretary comes out and says, “Your child is City Line, yours is Hollis, they are Special Needs kids.” I don’t even know what that is but Ismirna is like no way Jose, she is yelling, “My son’s Special Need is for a regular school!” I just take the Pass the Secretary gives me to the Special Needs school on Sutphin Boulevard and on the way I told Ani, as far as walking backward, there was nothing wrong with it.
She should just never do it around other kids.
Never. She could do it in the courtyard if it was so important.

I guess that shows how a little environmental factor can go a long way. The roof school was a factor, by which she walked backward. My saying she shouldn’t walk backward was a factor, by which she felt something was wrong with her.

The truth is, I was starting to wonder if there was. I was starting to wish we never went to school in the first place. If we never left the garden apartment, none of this would of happened. If something was wrong with her, I would not even know.

The Sutphin school for Special Needs is a rink with kids hitting themself on the head. Ani starts to shriek, I mean really loud. She is climbing right up me, she is so scared, so I decide, let’s try the Manhattan Dome school where the Sunnyside mothers said they have to take everyone.

Maybe I should of gave up right then. Maybe I should just bring Ani to hang out on the boarded-up school steps and hope some other City Line kid would show up and at least they could play. I guess I just thought the Manhattan Dome Opportunity might not be there forever. Better grab it now.

We go back to the Temporary Center. They give us a Pass to get into Manhattan so Ani can take a test.

I thought it had to take everyone.

Everyone who takes a test.

Before she even takes that test, she has to take the Dome health test. She already took the Dome health test! That was the Queens Dome health test. This is the Manhattan Dome health test. Go back to the Sunnyside Center, get a Pass to take the health test for the Manhattan Dome, at South Brother Island.

So this next part we spent taking tests just to be able to take a test. I mean it practically took up the school year. This test you take to go to the Manhattan Dome, you take it at nine a.m. in South Brother Island Dome. It took three hours to get there, with ferries. We had to leave at six, to get there at nine.

We had to wait on line for two more hours once we got there. Then Ani was hungry. We already ate everything we brought. We couldn’t leave the line. We would lose our place. I’m squeezing her hand so hard to keep her from walking backward she was crying by the end.

She cried from the test too, even though it was just blood and urine—nothing invasive. A little spit. But she got so wild they want to make her take a pill. I just hide it in my pocket and give her a look till she calmed down till the test was done and they said here is your Pass for the Dome. By the time we get home, she never wants to leave again. The Pass only works two weeks, we cannot wait very long.

By the time I get her on the podtram to the Hunter’s Point ferry to the east side Lock next day, she is a total mess. We can’t even bring the carrier, it is not allowed in the Dome. To get inside Manhattan Dome, they hose you three times! By the time we get through with our Pass, Ani is already upset. So this is the Manhattan Dome! Is this Opportunity or what? It is really dark and full of tunnels and everyone wears a kind of mask even in the Dome so what is the point. The Center is like a Dome inside the Dome. As soon as we get inside for the test, she walks backward. So they say, she needs a different test, go back to the other Center. It is not the health test. She is so tired I have to carry her back to Sunnyside Center, and it is closed. We’re so tired we just sleep in the yard. Then when the Center opens in the morning they say, oh! We were supposed to go to the other
Manhattan
Center.

She does not walk backward in the other Manhattan Center’s waiting room but so what, they don’t even run a test, they just call our name and give us a Pass. Go to Mill Rock Island. I mean I have to practically hold Ani down to keep her from bouncing off the walls. If I take her home now I’ll never get her out again. How about crossing the catwalk by foot, we are so far into the Dome we’re almost by the west side Lock, so that works except I have to lug her on my back and she is strangling me, but we make it over the catwalk to the east side, grab a ferry to Mill Rock Island where a big flag says EVERY CHILD IS SPECIAL, and I’m like, shit! What is that going to be but Needs? Sutphin all over again.
No way Jose.
I just jump back on the ferry, we are going back to Queens, let her walk backward, let her play with dirt, whatever, but the ferry ends up at Roosevelt Island, it is stopping there. So we’re at Roosevelt Island and have to swipe the Reader to get the ferry back to Queens, but it is some kind of really SOTA setup because when I swipe Ani’s ID, up pops one of those name/age/condition things, and it goes Special Needs. So I don’t want that on her ID. I swipe my own ID in fast to wipe hers off like Henry said sometimes could work. Instead now Special Needs pops up on my own swipe ID. I try manual override like I used to use to wipe my own ID with but it is so long since I tried that, I crash the screen, and when I try to call it back, the whole Board crashes. The ferry cannot leave till it’s back up. Nobody’s getting to Queens. A paddle barge is by the dock. Sometimes they take a passenger if you will help paddle but the skipper says, sorry, we are heading upstate. When he turns his back I just jump in with Ani and hide under a tarp. I mean, what is he, going to throw us overboard? When Ani starts to shriek he’s so mad I start to think maybe he will, but he says he will take us to Newburgh but she really has to shut up, and she is not walking backward but is making so much noise I just give her the pill from my pocket and she is out cold. Out cold. And I’m like what did I do? What did I do?