The Only Way (9 page)

She shook her head, shifting back into a jog, and turned her steps towards Leo's gym.

Hart let herself in the back door, catching her breath from her run. The gym was empty, strangely silent in the absence of the sound of fists connecting with punching bags or people.

Hart didn't want to wear herself out, but she needed to do
something
, so she picked up a jump rope and started skipping, letting her thoughts clear in the even rhythm of the rope striking the floor.

"You're not supposed to be here." Ruby stood in the doorway, arms crossed, looking amused.

Hart sighed, offering a little shrug. "Didn't know what else to do with myself."

"Surely you have
something
better to do than hang out in this gym."

"Salvage on the heap?" Hart offered, wrinkling her nose. That's where her family was by this point in the morning, wading knee deep in refuse.

Ruby frowned. "I meant whatever you do for fun."

Hart matched Ruby's frown. "We don't really …"

"What? Have fun?" Ruby laughed incredulously.

Hart paused, thinking about it. She enjoyed spending time with her family, but as for fun? "There's not really time for that when you're worried about starving."

Ruby shifted uncomfortably. "Your winnings helped with that, though. Right?"

"Yeah. I just …" She shrugged, running a hand over her shorn hair. "What if I don't win again?"

Ruby crossed the room, her face serious. "You will."

"What if the last time was just a mistake?"

Ruby snorted rudely. "A mistake that you ran circles around that guy? A mistake that he could barely get a hit in?" She reached out to push roughly at Hart's shoulder. "Stop fishing for compliments."

"I'm not!" Hart protested, looking up into laughing green eyes.

"Fine. You're getting really good, okay. You'll win again. No one's starving, got it?" Ruby looked fierce, as if she could make Hart win through sheer determination. It was nice to feel like she had someone in her corner, someone who believed in her. Leo cheered on all his fighters—it didn't matter who won or lost, they were all making him money. But after all the tension in their first few days together, Hart really felt like Ruby liked her
more
than the other men at the gym. Like she really cared whether Hart won or lost.

"Okay," Hart agreed faintly.

"Good. Now, what the hell are you doing here working out before a fight?"

"I just …"

"Just wanted to tire yourself out before you got in the ring?" Ruby asked, arching an eyebrow.  "Put on your shoes. We're going out."

"Where?"

Ruby rolled her eyes, kicking Hart's shoes toward her. "It's a surprise. Are you always this obstinate?"

Hart thought about it, how she was even
here
, doing this, pretending to be a man. "Probably."

They walked side by side through the Alley, turning down streets Hart hadn't yet explored. The street opened up as they walked, and Hart saw a splash of green ahead of them. 

"What's that?"

"That's where we're going," Ruby smiled. Her steps quickened as she led the way. They passed through a wrought-iron gate and the whole terrain changed.

Hart gazed in wonder. Everything around her was a lush, vibrant green. Grass grew under her feet and trees rose up to shade the walkways. The only open space in the Gutter was the trash heap, stretching as far as the eye could see, encircling them.

"What
is
this?"

Ruby slanted her a curious look. "A park."

Hart looked around, bewildered. "What's it for?"

Ruby came to a stop, surprise scrawled across her face. "You really don't know what a park is?"

"No." Hart crossed her arms defensively over her chest. "We don't have anything like this in the Gutter."

Ruby's eyes widened, but there was no pity in them. "That's too bad. I've always loved coming here." She held her arms out, gesturing to the small splash of green around them. "I always feel so much more relaxed here."

That was understandable, Hart thought, looking at her surroundings. Here and there people strolled or sat on the grass. No one seemed to be in a hurry.

It was impossible to imagine such a place in the Gutter. If one existed, people would take it over, trying to find a few yards of ground to call their own. They'd build shacks and fight over scraps of land until there wasn't any grass left. People would strip the trees just to see if they could eat the leaves.

"I've heard that in the City, they have parks that stretch for a mile, so when you're in the middle of it you can't see anything but trees."

Hart frowned, glancing reflexively toward the Center. "They couldn't. Not really?"

"That's what everyone says. They have parks practically on every corner. Apparently, there are flowers everywhere."

Hart barely knew what flowers looked like. Sometimes she found fake ones on the heap, wilted, shrivelled pieces of silk, that she could sell only to be repurposed. They looked nothing like what bloomed around her.

Ruby led her forward, through the trees. "Here," she said, coming to an abrupt stop.

"Here?"

"This is my favorite spot." Ruby gave her a slow, shy grin as she gestured to a large tree, its branches thick and knotted.

"Oh." Hart touched the bark of the tree, feeling the rough texture of it.  "It's … it's really nice."

Ruby's grin widened, lighting up her face, and Hart faltered, something unfamiliar making her chest tight.

Ruby sank down in the grass, leaning up against the trunk of the tree. After a moment, Hart joined her, careful to leave a few inches of space between them. They stared up at the sky, just visible through the leaves of the tree. Somewhere nearby, a bird sang. Hart let out a long, shaky breath. "Thank you. For bringing me here."

"It seemed like you needed it."

"I just," Hart bit her lip. "I just really want to do well for my family."

"Who do you have? At home?"

"My mother." Hart focused on her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers, picking at her nails. "My brother Finn and my sisters. Roe and Penny. Penny's just six."

Ruby shifted next to her. "Tell me about them?"

"Penny's adorable but tough, even for a little kid. Roe's … sweeter. Gentle. Penny always wants to help when we go scavenging, but Roe's happy to sit on the sidelines. If someone's hurt, though, she wants to help."

"And Finn?"

Hart grinned. "Finn's got a lot of personality. He takes being the only boy really seriously."

The moment the words were out of her mouth she froze, horrified. "The only boy besides me," she added in a rush, her cheeks flaming.

Ruby looked over at her, a bemused grin on her face. "The only boy besides you, just like Roe and Penny are the only girls?"

"It's just that Finn's so much younger," Hart said quickly, her heart hammering. "He's just twelve. And I spend—I mean
spent
—so much time with my father."

Ruby's eyes softened. "What happened to him?"

Hart dropped her eyes, relief flooding through her. She felt horrible, using her father's death to deflect from her mistake, but she'd do anything to cover her tracks. She couldn't imagine if she lost everything she'd been working towards just after her first win. "He was a fighter."

"I'm sorry," Ruby turned towards her, touching Hart's arm gently. "When my father fought … I worried every night."

"Yeah."

Ruby squeezed, her fingers indenting the flesh of Hart's bicep, a point of contact she was suddenly, searingly aware of. "You're going to be fine, though." Hart looked up, meeting her eyes. They were intense in their determination. "Really. We're going to make sure you make it home to your family. Right?"

Hart drew a deep breath. "Right."

*~*~*

When Hart and Ruby slipped back into the gym, Leo was waiting. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of them together, and Hart inexplicably blushed.

"I was wondering where you ran off to," Leo said to his daughter. "Didn't expect you to have kidnapped my new champion."

Hart was surprised to see that Ruby was blushing as well, a light pink stain across her freckled cheeks. "What makes you think Hart didn't kidnap me?"

Leo rolled his eyes. "Please. I know my own daughter. You don't do anything you don't want to do."

Ruby looked pleased at that, and Hart had to smile.

"Anyway, it's nice you two are spending time together," Leo continued, looking at them appraisingly. "I hope you had … fun?"

Hart felt the implication of his words settle on her like a physical weight, and she snuck a glance at Ruby.

"We just went for a walk," Ruby said, her tone defensive.

In the last few years, Hart hadn't had many friends, as the girls she grew up with grew more and more distant. Still, she knew Leo's raised eyebrows and Ruby's flushed cheeks weren't typical after spending a few hours with a new friend.

And then Hart remembered:  she was a boy now. She felt her face heat even further as realization dawned. Did Leo think …? In her trainer's eyes, she was a young man who had just taken his daughter out for the afternoon. Hart cursed her obtuseness. What
else
was Leo supposed to think?

Her gaze slipped back to Ruby and her eyes widened further. It suddenly occurred to her that
Ruby
might think that too.

"Sure," Leo said easily. "I'm glad you two are making friends."

"Yeah. Friends," Hart said quickly. She refused to look over at Ruby to see if the girl reacted to her words. Their afternoon had been nothing but friendly. And Hart would make sure it stayed that way. She didn't want to lead Ruby on, after all.

But it couldn't hurt to be friends, right?

*~*~*

Hart swung, her fist connecting solidly with the side of her opponent's face. He reeled back and she advanced, pummelling him in the gut until he was gasping, a horrible choking noise bubbling out of him. She could hear Ruby on the sidelines, her voice rising up even over the thunderous crowd, cheering Hart on. She felt unstoppable as she pressed forward, bearing the man back against the ropes. He tried to rally, but she kept one step ahead of him, and then he was down and staying down. Hart loomed over him, a foot planted on his chest, as the crowd screamed her name. She turned, meeting Ruby's eyes. The girl grinned, pumping a fist into the air.

Hart grinned back. It was good to have friends.

*~*~*

"Why won't you ever tell me where we're going before we get there?"

Ruby grinned. "You'll like it, I promise."

She wrapped a hand around Hart's wrist and pulled her down the street. Hart looked down at the point of contact, feeling something heavy twist within her. "Okay."

She dragged her eyes away from the sight of Ruby's slender fingers against her skin. They were friends, she reminded herself. Friends touched. Friends hugged. It shouldn't set her heart racing every time it happened.

But the more time she spent with Ruby, the more time she wanted to spend with her. When Leo saw them together, sparring in the ring, or joking in the gym, or embracing after one of Hart's wins, he never failed to cock a curious eyebrow. Guilt always flooded Hart, because whatever Leo thought might be going on with Ruby, it was all a lie. Hart wasn't the boy Leo thought she was—wasn't the boy
Ruby
thought she was.

Every time she caught Leo shooting them speculative looks, she told herself she would pull away and put some distance between Ruby and her. But then Ruby would smile at her, and she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Ruby stopped walking and Hart looked up. They were in front of a shop. The sign that hung in the window proclaimed, "Toys."

Hart peered in the dusty window, seeing a jumble of objects crowded against the glass.

"You said you wanted to do something special for your siblings. I thought you might want to get them something … fun."

Ruby smiled wryly as she pushed open the shop door. Hart followed her in, looking around in wonder. Dolls in beautiful dresses, bears with velvety soft fur and toy trains and planes crowded every surface. Hart had never seen anything like it outside of the landfill where dolls with only one eye, or one arm, or no hair crunched underfoot and teddy bears with matted and dirty fur burst open at the seams.

The toys in the shop were pristine. Clean, complete and beautiful. Hart reached out with tentative fingers, hovering just over the pale porcelain of one of the dolls. Her cheeks were a flushed pink, her lips a bright red and her hair a beautiful black. Her dress was of a material finer than anything Hart had ever worn. 

"Roe would love this," she breathed.

Ruby came up beside her, leaning close. "You could get it for her."

"I couldn't."

Ruby grinned. "You could. You can afford it."

Hart dragged her eyes away from the doll, skating over the multitude of toys that crowded the shelf. A stuffed cat caught her eye. Its fur was long, and she couldn't help but run a hand over it, feeling how soft it was. "Penny likes cats."

"I know I can't convince you to spend money on yourself. But … kids deserve to be kids sometimes, don't they?"

Toys and parks and playtime and fun weren't things Gutter kids got to experience. But they deserved to. Hart gathered the soft cat and the doll into her arms with a smile. She couldn't wait to see the kids' faces when she brought the toys home.

"Thanks," she said lowly, glancing over at Ruby. 

Ruby just grinned, knocking their shoulders together lightly.  "Don't mention it. Someone needs to remind you that you're doing this for more than the black eyes, is all."

*~*~*

Hart clutched the bag to her chest, a huge grin on her face. The chicken shifted inside, a slick slide in the paper bag. Hart didn't even mind. She was bringing a
whole chicken
home to her family, with money to spare. There were vegetables and bread, too—all the fixings for a dinner that would send the kids to bed with bellies full to the point of bursting. Hart could barely feel the bruises on her face, not with the way her heart soared with excitement over the feast she was bringing home.

Tucked into the bottom of the bag, wrapped up in several layers of paper, were the toys she had picked out.