The Oracle Rebounds (10 page)

HelloImAGirl: Speak for yourself. I could have handled it.

InvisibleBassist: Okay, you’re right. I’m the one who’s been uncomfortable. But it doesn’t help that your friends stare at me like I’m Bin Laden.

HelloImAGirl: I’m sorry if they do that. Anyway you wanted to make a clean break and that’s what you did. Don’t worry
,
if I’d had something to say, I would have. I’ve moved on.

InvisibleBassist: I saw that. I’m glad for you.

HelloImAGirl: Somehow that sounds patronizing.

InvisibleBassist: It’s not.

HelloImAGirl: Good. I have to get back to work.

InvisibleBassist: Wait, I just want to say I’m sorry I hurt you. I really am. None of this has been easy for me. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend.

HelloImAGirl: You dumped me as your girlfriend, but it was your choice to dump me as your friend, too.

InvisibleBassist: Yeah, but it’s not so simple. There are still feelings between us, or at least, I still have feelings for you. It’s not like there’s a switch I can turn off. If we’d hung out as friends we’d probably end up making out.

HelloImAGirl: I can’t BELIEVE you said that!

InvisibleBassist: You know it’s true. We won’t ever be just friends.

HelloImAGirl: Then why are you IMing me? Just to make yourself feel better about the breakup? I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.

Oh, God. I don’t sound like I’ve moved on, do I?

HelloImAGirl: I’m expecting a call from Benoit, and I’ve got a lot to do here.

I’m lying because I want to hurt him, just a fraction of how much he hurt me. But I can’t hurt him, because he doesn’t love me anymore.

InvisibleBassist: I’m sorry for bothering you. Go on being the Oracle and being amazing. I hope one day you’ll forgive me.

He logs off before I can reply.

It isn’t fair. I’m practically over him. And for some reason he randomly IMs me like this, and then I’m thinking about him again. Hurting again. Why does he do this to me? What does he want?

Forgiveness. That’s what he wants.

Until I forgive him, he can’t truly move on. And maybe…maybe I can’t either.

It’s about time I write this email and have it done for good.

Dear Jared,

I forgive you—if there’s anything to forgive. And I truly wish you happiness.

Kayla

46 Days into Rebound Equation

At lunchtime the next day, I eat quickly with my friends then go to the computer lab to see if teenmoi’s posted my blog yet. She has, and she even blogged on it herself!

As I start reading, my eyes bug out of my head.

So as you all know, this girl who calls herself the Oracle of Dating contacted me asking to do a guest post—in other words, to get some exposure through my blog. I sent her one of your questions and here’s her response. Could she have been more offensive? I wouldn’t have even posted it, but I promised her that I would, and I always keep my word.

What’s with the Oracle of Dating anyway? This girl (if she is, in fact, a teenage girl like she claims) actually charges for her advice. I would never charge for giving advice—I don’t think it’s right. And trust me, this girl’s advice is NOT worth paying for. If you think her response on this question is bad, you can see worse on her website. But I’ll save you the bother by telling you what’s there: crapola. It’s like she thinks teens have nothing better to do than constantly think about dating. Like there aren’t bigger problems in the world than getting a date! And let
me tell you, there’s no issue this girl won’t write about, no matter how frivolous. She’s blogged on how to flirt, for God’s sake. Anyway, take a look at this Q & A and let me know what you think.

The computer room spins around me. I’ve been set up! Brandy must have hated my website from the beginning and relished this opportunity to bash it. She gave me a controversial question that she knew would get me in hot water.

And for her to say she posted it only because she promised me—that’s ridiculous! Anyone would prefer not to have their blog posted than have it insulted publicly. This girl is such a phony.

I don’t think blogging about flirting is frivolous. Some people really need the help. And I’m not claiming there aren’t more important issues in the world than the ones I deal with, but most teens are into dating or want to be. Who does she think she is anyway?

Obviously I didn’t do enough research before contacting her. I go to the archives on teenmoi, skimming over some of her older posts, and there I see all the red flags I’d missed. Snarkiness, apparently, is Brandy’s strong suit. The snarkier the post, the more comments she gets. How could I have not seen this before? I’d noticed that she bashed some celebrities, but it never occurred to me that she’d turn her venom on a guest blogger. I was so wrong.

No responses have been posted yet. I can only hope her readers will see things differently.

For Ryan, the most offensive part of working at Eddie’s is being forced to wear the blue polyester shirt. No matter what pants you wear with it, no matter how you roll up the sleeves or accessorize, you can never look anything but lame.

But in one heart-stopping moment a few weeks ago, it
all changed. He spotted Kate, a brand-new employee, who walked in with the shirt on, ironed to perfection over a white collared shirt. And he fell madly in love with her. At least, I think he did. Ryan rarely admits to crushing on anyone, but I can see it from the way his cheeks change color when he talks to her, not to mention the way he stares in her direction. He probably thinks Kate is out of his league, though, and he may be right. She’s three years older than him and a student at the Fashion Institute. With silky straight blond hair, perfectly arched brows and flawless makeup, she is Ryan’s ideal girl.

I’ve tried to ease Ryan into talking about his crush, but without success. Maybe he’s got the right attitude. If you tell your friends about your crush, they’ll encourage you to ask the person out, and you’ll run the risk of rejection. I used to be all about self-preservation myself, before the days of Jared.

Tonight Ryan is gawking at Kate as usual. When he and I go on break, I casually say, “Kate’s got great hair, hasn’t she?” He nods, as if to say,
does she ever
.

I really wish I could tell him what’s going on with my website, but of course I can’t do that. When I got home from school, I didn’t check teenmoi’s site, figuring there’d only be a couple of comments. I won’t know until later tonight how people are reacting.

Ryan interrupts my thoughts with talk of the Viv situation. “She’s seeing Sandeep regularly.”

“How do you know? She hasn’t mentioned him.” But I realize I’ve been so hung up on Benoit the last little while that I didn’t even bring it up. Maybe I should have.

“She’s not going to mention him because she knows what you’ll say. I asked her flat out if she’s seeing him and she admitted she’s been having coffee with him. She says they’re not dating, but it’s so obvious he’s pursuing her. He tells her
she’s gorgeous and brilliant and all that crap. There’s no doubt about it—he’s reeling her in.”

Ugh. Poor Viv. “No decent guy would say those things to a girl if he still has a girlfriend.”

“That’s what I said. But she actually feels sorry for him. She keeps saying he’s in such a difficult position. I told her it sounds like a pretty sweet position to me. I just hope she wises up before it’s too late.”

“Me, too,” I say gloomily. “I don’t want to see her hurt again.”

By the time I get home, I’m downright scared to go to the computer. But I have to see what’s on there, regardless of what it is. I turn my computer on, telling myself that it’ll be okay, that it won’t be as bad as I’d feared. When I click on teenmoi’s website and scroll down, I see a ton of comments.

• — The Oracle of Dating is full of shit! This is such a prejudiced answer! She’s playing on every stereotype in the book about homosexuals. She should be ashamed of herself. Being gay is “simply the way you’re born,” huh? She makes it sound like a disease.
  
• — The Oracle crossed the line. These people are sick and she acts like being gay is normal and okay. Hasn’t she read the Bible?
  
• — I think Disoriented is a man-hater. Maybe she was abused by her father and that’s why she hates straight men. She should wake up and get some psychological help! The Oracle of Dating is too afraid to tell the truth.
  

The posts go on and on, and ninety percent of them are trashing me. I feel like I’m being punched in the gut. If it weren’t so traumatic to read how horrible a person I am, I
might find it funny that they’ve managed to find fault with everything I wrote, and for opposite reasons.

I bet Brandy’s loving every minute of it.

I check my website, and my worst fear is confirmed. The Oracle-bashing has spread to my website, where I’ve gotten a slew of new blog comments. One person wrote “If you’re looking at this website a virus will infect your computer. Stay away! I already lost half my files!”

Oh, no! I’m being slammed in front of my readers. I hope everybody can see that these people are being unreasonable. I spot a post that comes to my defense. It’s from LostGirl, which means it’s Viv. “The Oracle has done her best to answer a tough question. I’ve looked at her other blogs, and she is always fair and not prejudiced. I think you should all leave her alone.”

At least somebody is on my side.

Stay calm, Oracle. Think. Think damage control.

The first thing I do is disable blog comments on my website and delete the most offensive ones. Hopefully this will die down soon, but for now, this is the safest option. I also remove the mention that I’ve done a Q & A on teenmoi—the last thing I need is for even more people to see the bashfest. As for the mud-slinging on teenmoi, there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m sure if I emailed Brandy and asked her to remove the blog, she wouldn’t, and she’d tell her readers that I’d asked her to.

I peek back at teenmoi, and wish I hadn’t. Several more cruel comments have been posted. I force myself to stop reading them.

I can’t believe this. In my efforts to expand the Oracle, I’ve brought on disaster.

“I saw the controversy,” Viv says at our lockers the next morning. “Are you doing okay?”

“I hardly slept last night. I feel like I’ve destroyed my own business. Everything I’ve worked for is going down the toilet.”

“I’m sure this’ll die down in a few days.”

“I hope so, but how much damage can these people do in the meantime?”

“I bet your website’s getting lots of hits, at least.”

“It is. Hundreds.”

“This will get people talking about your site. Everyone will make their own decision as to whether you’re legit.”

“Good point. It’s just really hard to have those nasty things said about me. I know that my answer wasn’t perfect, but they’re blowing it all out of proportion.”

“Just be glad your identity isn’t out in the open. Picture how you’d feel if everyone at school knew who you were.”

“You think the Rainbow Club would come after me?”

“Or the evangelical club. That’s the funny thing about this—everyone hates you for different reasons. It doesn’t matter what you said or meant to say. They’re twisting your words any way they want.”

We go our separate ways at the bell. I try to pay attention to the lesson, but it’s impossible. I keep thinking that when someone runs a search for the Oracle of Dating, they’ll see the controversy on teenmoi right away, and some people will pass up my website because of it.

My fists curl under my desk. The worst part is that I feel powerless. I can’t stop them from bashing me, and I can’t possibly respond to all of the accusations. Part of me thinks I shouldn’t give these jerks the satisfaction of knowing I’ve read their comments by responding in any way. Another part of me says I should write a response of some kind.

One thing’s for sure—I’m too upset to make a decision right
now. Anything I’d write would sound defensive and angry. I need to take a day or two to figure out what to do.

The weird thing is, I find myself wishing I could talk to Jared about this. He always had this calmness, this Zen way of dealing with things, that made whatever drama I was going through seem not so bad. None of those dramas were anything compared to this one. The business I’ve worked so hard to build is being attacked, and I’m terrified that everything I’ve worked for is going to disappear. I can’t lose my business, I just can’t!

“I know who you are.”

It’s not the typical greeting Evgeney gives me when I walk into chemistry class, but then, he’s not a typical guy.

“I know who you are, too.”

“That’s not what I mean.” He darts a glance around. “I know what you do.” His last words are a whisper. “And I think what those people are saying about you is unfair!”

He knows I’m the Oracle?
My mouth opens, but only a stutter comes out. Finally I manage, “How do you know?”

“Your web domain is registered to you.”

“It is? Oh. Was it that easy to find out?”

“For those who know where to look, yes. You can switch the registration to private, if you like.”

“I’d better do that right away.” The last thing I need is for the teenmoi haters to find out who I am and leave a dead fish on my doorstep. “Do you know how to change it?”

He nods. “Meet me in the computer lab at lunchtime. I’ll show you. It’s easy.”

“Thanks—I’d really appreciate it.”

Mrs. Moser describes what we’ll be doing for today’s lab and hands out worksheets. Evgeney takes charge, as usual.
Once the classroom is buzzing, I ask him, “How long have you known?”

“From the start.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

He shrugs. “You obviously didn’t want people to know. The only reason I’ve told you is because I want you to defend yourself against the horrible things they are saying about you. Then anyone who sees the controversy can read your statement and know that you are the real thing.”

I’m comforted that he thinks I’m the real thing. With all the people bashing me, it’s impossible not to second-guess myself. “Maybe if I write a more general statement instead of trying to address all the accusations, that would work.”

“Yes, that is a good idea.”

He focuses on the lab for a few minutes. My mind is reeling. Was it weird for Evgeney to contact me online for advice when we’re lab partners? Was he comfortable paying me when I’m a friend? I guess he must be, because he’s been very supportive.

“I won’t charge you for advice from now on.”

“I want to pay you—I appreciate the attention you give to my concerns and that is a worthwhile service to pay for. You do not charge much, anyway.”

“I certainly haven’t gotten rich off the website. I was hoping the blog tour would help with business, but it looks like that backfired.”

“The final outcome is yet to be seen. I believe your business will weather the storm.” He turns to me. “That is the appropriate expression, right? Weather the storm?”

I smile. “It is.”

I scarf down my lunch at my locker and get to the computer lab early to check my email. I cringe. Several of the emails
are hateful. Some I delete based on the scathing titles. A few I open and delete after skimming the first line.

“Hi.” Evgeney sits at the station beside me, pulling up a chair. “Checking email?”

I nod.

He must see my expression, because he shakes his head sadly. “Ignorant people. If you’d like, you can attach a virus to your reply. As soon as they open it, their computer will be infected. Would you like me to set that up?”

“No, I can’t do that. It would just confirm to them that I’m evil.”

“Your choice. Now if you go into your domain registration, we’ll set up the privacy setting. It will just take a minute.”

It really does take a minute, but I doubt I could’ve figured out how to do it on my own. “You’re quite the computer genius, aren’t you?”

He smiles. “I enjoy technology. If you like, I could modernize some aspects of your website. Unless you think your web designer would be offended.”

“My sister set up my website. I’m sure she’d love it if you made some changes. What do you suggest? I can’t afford to pay you, but like I said before, I could give you my services free of charge.”

“It’s not necessary for you to reimburse me. I’ll do it as a friend.”

“So why won’t you let me give you advice as a friend?”