The Orchid House (53 page)

‘Yes,’ replied Julia guiltily, ‘I should have done. I’m sorry. I just … well, I wasn’t sure what to say. It’s hard to explain what happened. You might have thought I was making a rash decision.’

‘And disapprove?’

‘Yes, to be honest.’

‘Julia, after the hell you’ve been through, if Kit makes you happy, why on earth should I?’ snapped Alicia. ‘Honestly, do you really think I’m that judgemental?’

‘No …’ Julia shook her head, ‘I suppose I was just being selfish, wanting to keep it all to myself for a while, see how things worked out before I broadcast it.’

‘I presume the baby and his, er, girlfriend, have been dispatched now?’

‘That, Alicia, is exactly why I haven’t said anything!’ Julia shot back. ‘Annie wasn’t his “girlfriend” and her baby wasn’t his. Kit was simply helping an old friend in her hour of need, whatever the local gossips are still saying. People should mind their own business,’ she added crossly.

‘Julia, for goodness’ sake, Kit Crawford is the new owner of Wharton Park, one of the grandest estates in the county! He’s local royalty and of course he’s going to be gossiped about! And you will be too, if you stay with him, so get used to it! And perhaps, if you’d trusted me with the true version of events, I might have been able to put paid to some of it, at least. But you didn’t. Really, I sometimes wonder what kind of person you think I am.’ The delicate pink of Alicia’s cheeks had turned red with rare anger. ‘And if you had told me, I’d have been thrilled for you, once I understood the circumstances. I think Kit’s a lovely man and completely smitten with you. There aren’t many men who would have cared for you like he did when you were so sick. I knew how he felt about you then.’

‘Did you?’ Julia was genuinely surprised.

‘Absolutely. And I knew you liked him too, but were just too scared and confused to admit it, which I really understand.’

‘Oh.’ Julia drained her glass, feeling churlish for underestimating Alicia. ‘Anyway, now you do know, perhaps we can see a little more of each other,’ she said, as a peace offering.

‘Yes, that would be nice. Anyway, let’s move on, shall we? Is Dad coming today?’ asked Alicia. ‘I know his flight landed late last night.’

‘I think so, but he wasn’t quite sure what time. He told me not to hold lunch for him. I think he really wants to see Elsie.’

‘Have you told Dad yet about you and Kit?’

‘No. You know what he’s like, especially after a research trip; his head’s still full of flora and fauna. It wouldn’t have sunk in.’

‘And how’s Elsie?’ Alicia watched as Julia started stirring the gravy. ‘Has she told you any more of the story?’

‘Not really, no.’ Julia spoke guardedly, remembering Elsie’s plea. ‘I’m sure she will, but she was very tired last night. Right,’ she pulled the joint out of the Aga, ‘I think this beef is ready, don’t you? Could you ask Kit to come in and carve?’

George arrived at the house halfway through the beef, looking tanned and healthy. Julia fetched a warm plate of food for him and, as he ate, George regaled the table with his new discoveries from the Galapagos Islands. When they had all finished, he helped Julia carry the plates into the kitchen.

‘Darling,’ he said as he put them down by the side of the sink, ‘you look like a different person. Or, in fact, more accurately, like the old Julia. I presume it’s that attractive young man of yours who’s brought about this transformation?’

‘Kit has certainly helped, in all sorts of ways,’ Julia agreed coyly. ‘I’m … much better.’

‘Well,’ said George, ‘haven’t had much of a chance to talk to him, but he seems like a nice chap. Is there such a thing as a dishwasher lurking somewhere in this kitchen?’

‘No. Far too modern a convenience for this house,’ Julia grinned, ‘so I’m afraid it’s elbows in the suds time. I’m living back in the fifties here, Dad. Not that I mind. It’s such a beautiful old house.’

‘It is indeed,’ George agreed, ‘and I admit, it’s an odd experience being greeted at the front door of Wharton Park by my own daughter, and finding my family on the estate once more.’ He put the plug in the sink and started running the tap.

‘Don’t worry about that now, Dad, I’ll see to it later. Perhaps you could take the pavlova and the raspberries out for me?’ She pointed to them on the kitchen table. ‘Shop-bought, I’m afraid. My new-found talents don’t extend to puds yet.’

George picked them up and headed for the door, then paused and turned. ‘So, you being here at Wharton Park with Kit – do I gather this is a permanent arrangement?’

‘Who knows? As you once said to me, Dad, I’m taking one day at a time.’

‘Good girl, good girl,’ he replied. ‘I’m pleased for you, darling, I really am.’

*

After lunch, Kit rounded up the boys to play football, and Julia took the girls on a tour of the house, a situation she had specifically engineered to leave George and Elsie alone together.

‘My goodness,’ Alicia whistled as they walked down the long upstairs corridors, opening doors to room after room. ‘This is a huge renovation job. The whole house needs a complete overhaul.’

‘Well, I like it just the way it is,’ Julia said defensively.

Back downstairs, Julia made coffee and Alicia took the tray out on to the terrace. Elsie was sitting there alone, eyes closed, enjoying the afternoon sun.

‘Where’s Dad?’ asked Alicia as she sat down.

Elsie opened her eyes slowly. ‘He sent his apologies, he did, said he only got a couple of hours’ sleep last night and wanted to get home before he was too tired to drive. He said he’d give you a call later.’

‘Poor thing, he must be exhausted,’ Alicia said, unaware there could be another reason for her father to leave without saying goodbye. ‘Now, shall I pour coffee?’

When Alicia and Max had taken their brood home for baths and bed, Kit nipped out to check something on the farm, and Julia sat with Elsie, watching the sunset from the terrace.

‘I spoke to your dad,’ Elsie ventured eventually.

‘Right.’

‘What you must understand, Julia,’ Elsie sighed, ‘is that when you open up a secret from the past, it’s a can of worms. I know you’ve probably heard that many times before but, my love, it’s true. Because they wriggle out and spread themselves in places you never expected them to.’

‘It must be hard for you to have to do this, but I’m so glad you have, Granny,’ Julia replied warmly. ‘Already, there are things I’ve never understood about myself that are beginning to fall into place. Talking of which, Kit wondered whether you knew what happened to Lidia. Did she make it through the operation and could she still be alive?’

‘Well now,’ Elsie said slowly, ‘I’m going to let you into another little secret. Something that even Bill didn’t know. You see, when Bill told me how that poor girl had to hand over Jasmine to him, my heart bled for her, it did. Bill wrote to his friend, the flower man, as he’d promised, to tell him to let Lidia know Jasmine was safe at Wharton Park. Not mentioning, of course, she was living with us in our cottage, and not up at the big house with her dad. Lidia wrote back to me a few weeks later, to say she’d survived the operation and was slowly getting better. Well,’ Elsie continued, ‘I thought it would be nice for her to see some pictures of Jasmine, so I sent some to her. Over the years, we wrote to each other, me always pretending I was the nursemaid looking after Jasmine, so she wouldn’t get upset, like.’

‘What a lovely thing to do,’ Julia smiled.

‘Well, how Lidia could ever have thought Harry’s wife would accept his illegitimate child, I really don’t know. But if it made her happy to think her girl was being brought up a “Lady”, who was I to disillusion her?’ Elsie rubbed her nose. ‘Maybe they do things differently over in them hot countries.’

‘It did cross my mind that after Olivia lost her baby, she might have thought about adopting my mother,’ Julia admitted.

‘Never in a month of Sundays!’ Elsie grimaced. ‘For a start, it would have been impossible for her to pass Jasmine off as her own, Olivia being so fair and Jasmine being so dark, like. But, more importantly, she would never have acknowledged her as Harry’s child. Olivia knew he was in love with Lidia. She wasn’t going to have Jasmine as a daily reminder of that love, was she now? However empty her nest remained.’

‘No … you’re right,’ Julia agreed. ‘Of course she wouldn’t. Do you and Lidia still communicate, Granny?’

‘No. After your mum died, I didn’t write no more. Couldn’t bring myself to tell her. As we both know, mothers never get over losing a child …’ Elsie’s voice trailed off. ‘So, in answer to your question, I’ve no idea if Lidia is still alive.’

‘No,’ Julia answered quietly.

‘Oh, dearie me,’ Elsie sighed, ‘it’s no good thinking the past is in the past: it carries on, it does, and by telling you and Kit what I have, it meant that your dad was faced with a decision too. I can only hope I’ve done the right thing.’

‘Well, whatever it is, I’m sure we’re a strong enough family to take it.’

Elsie reached for Julia’s hand and patted it. ‘Yes, my love, I think we are.’

51

Three days later, Kit drove Julia to Stansted airport. Julia could easily have taken a taxi, but Kit had insisted. One way and another, they had hardly seen each other since the weekend.

‘Have you spoken to your father in the past few days?’ Kit asked, his eyes on the busy motorway.

‘I left him two messages and he finally called me back yesterday. He’s been at Kew, presenting his new Galapagos species to the horticultural Powers-That-Be.’

‘He didn’t mention the conversation he had with Elsie on Sunday, then?’

‘No. And I didn’t press it either. He sounded a little distant,’ Julia shrugged, ‘but then, he often does. I’m sure he’ll tell me in his own good time.’

‘You’re right. And you’ve got enough on your plate, sweetheart.’ Kit reached across and squeezed Julia’s hand. ‘I wish I could come with you, you know. Are you sure you’ll be all right?’

Julia nodded stoically. ‘I’ve just got to get this over and done with.’

‘Yes. And …’ Kit searched for the words, ‘I want you to know I respect how much you loved them. They won’t threaten me, Julia. I really accept that if Xavier was still here, you’d be with him. And I don’t want you to be ashamed or guilty about that. I can hardly resent that you’ve loved others before. Remember, I have too.’

The two of them stood awkwardly by passport control. There were things Julia wanted to say to Kit, like how wonderful he’d been, how happy
she’d
been, and how much she thought she loved – yes,
loved
– him. But she couldn’t quite find the words. So, rather than saying the wrong thing, she remained silent.

Eventually, Kit threw his arms round her and hugged her to him. ‘I’ll miss you so much, darling,’ he whispered in her ear.

‘I will too,’ she managed feebly.

He stepped back and pushed a lock of her hair from her face. ‘Please try to take care of yourself. I know how bad you are at that. And, remember, if you need me, I’m here. And I’ll be waiting for you, however long it takes.’

Julia nodded, close to tears. ‘Thank you.’

‘I love you, darling,’ he murmured.

‘Yes,’ Julia said, too choked to say any more. Then she turned away from him, gave a small wave and walked through the barrier.

Sitting on the plane as it prepared to land at Toulon airport, Julia was surprised to find she was thinking less of what she now had to face, than she was of leaving Kit. Having spent three hours without him, and with no idea how long it might be before she saw him again, she felt … bereft. The intensity with which she missed him had taken her completely by surprise.

When she smelt the sweet, familiar, pine-scented air, a large part of her wanted to turn tail, step back on the plane and return to the comfort of Kit and Wharton Park. By the time she had collected her rental car and was heading along the scenic coastal route to her home, Julia understood it was hardly surprising she wanted to run back into Kit’s arms: what she must face in less than an hour terrified her.

But the sooner it was done, the sooner she could return to him.

She had to say goodbye. And say it alone.

The traffic along the coast road was heavy with holidaymakers. Julia wound her way patiently through the pretty resorts of Bormes-les-Mimosa, Lavandou and Rayol Canadel, watching families spilling off the beaches and into the busy bars and cafés. The whole of France moved south during August and there was little point in trying to get anywhere in a hurry.

The winding road began to climb upward, affording wonderful views of the azure sea below. After the hardy baldness of the Norfolk landscape, which Julia appreciated had its own raw beauty, the Côte d’Azur offered spectacular, colourful intricacy. It was rather like comparing a rough diamond to an exquisitely fashioned and polished sapphire, yet they both had their own unique charms.

At La Croix Valmer, Julia took the steep, narrow road up to the hilltop town of Ramatuelle. As she approached the village, adrenalin began to pump through her. She rarely felt the need for a drink, but she wished she could have one now.

As usual, the roads in the village were packed with tourists, and Julia had to park some distance from her house. She took her holdall from the boot of the car and walked along the narrow path to her home, which stood just off the main square. Ramatuelle was a maze of narrow streets and hidden alleys, full of picturesque, ancient stone houses, with bougainvillea tumbling in fat, purple blossoms over the walls.

The village was only ten minutes from the smart beaches of Pampelonne and the resort of St Tropez, so it was more sophisticated than most, with an array of expensive restaurants attracting a chic clientele. Julia loved it best in the winter, when the village was returned to its inhabitants.

She stopped by the wrought-iron gates that opened on to the short path which led to her front door. She dug deep, garnering strength to open the gates, walk up that path and put the key in the lock …

Any moment now, the door will open. Gabriel will know I am coming and will be waiting at the window with Agnes, ready to run down the steps and into my arms.