The Other Side of Goodness (22 page)

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Authors: Vanessa Davis Griggs

BOOK: The Other Side of Goodness
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Chapter 33
Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will.
—Ephesians 1:5
 
 
 
J
essica returned to the hospital a little over eight hours later. “I'm so sorry,” she said, apologizing to Gabrielle, who was half asleep in a chair near the bottom of the bed. She kissed Jasmine's forehead. “I left here, went and handled some necessary business, drove home, took a nice hot shower, lay down on my bed, and the next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes to a pitch-black bedroom.”
“It's okay,” Gabrielle said, sitting up straight now. “It really wasn't a problem. I told you I would stay while you got some rest. I was fully prepared to stay the night. I don't have anywhere I have to be. The business side of the church where I work is closed until after New Year's. So I am free as a bird to be here.”
Jessica sat down in the chair on the other side of Gabrielle closest to the head of the bed. “Are you sure? I know you and Dr. Morgan must have plans.”
Gabrielle reached over and gently touched Jessica's hand. “I'm positive. And Zachary is in full agreement that I should be right here helping the two of you. He was here up until he got an emergency call about three hours ago and had to leave.”
Jessica looked lovingly at a peaceful, sleeping Jasmine. “How's she doing?”
Gabrielle also looked at Jasmine. “Just sleeping a lot. She's barely been awake the entire time you were gone. She'll likely sleep most of the night, except when the nurses come in and wake her for various reasons.”
“Yeah. I was saying the other day that if you want to get some rest, a hospital is definitely not the best place to do it. Someone always needs something from you. Take blood, check on your temperature, check your blood pressure, see how you're feeling or if you need anything. It's always something. But I'm so thankful for the love and care they've given her here. I truly am.” Jessica smiled as she leaned closer to her daughter. “And Jasmine has just been a little trouper through all of this, for all of these months. She's a special blessing from the Lord indeed.”
Jasmine suddenly started moving before a smile spread across her face and she opened her eyes completely. “Mama,” she said.
Jessica stood and went to her, touching her hand. “Hi, baby.”
“Mama, I'm so tired. I just can't seem to wake up.”
Jessica gently touched her little face. “That's because you need rest while your body is repairing and healing. You'll be up and at 'em before we know it.”
“I dreamed Dr. Z and Miss Gabrielle were here.”
Jessica smiled. “You weren't dreaming. Dr. Z was here earlier. He had to leave.” Jessica looked over at Gabrielle. “But Miss Gabrielle is still here.”
Jasmine seemed to be trying to sit up to see. Gabrielle stood up and came closer so Jasmine could see her without having to strain. “Hi there, Miss Jazz.”
Jasmine smiled. “Hi there, Miss G.”
“Miss G?” Jessica said with a chuckle. “Where did
that
come from?”
“Well, I was thinking. Since I call Dr. Zachary, Dr. Z, I should call Miss Gabrielle, Miss G. It sounds right, don't you think?”
Jessica swapped places with Gabrielle so Jasmine and Gabrielle would be able to talk easier.
“I love it,” Gabrielle said with a grin. “I hear you're doing great, Miss Jazz.”
“Then everything went okay?” Jasmine asked.
Gabrielle didn't want to overstep her boundary. She looked over at Jessica for her to answer.
“Everything went wonderfully,” Jessica said. “Absolutely perfect. I spoke with the doctor, and she's pleased with how things are progressing. Your new cells just need to get to work and start doing their jobs producing more cells. The doctor says she wants those new cells to be fruitful and to multiply, and you'll be home before you know it.”
There was a quick sharp knock on the door. “Come on,” Jessica said.
Zachary peeked his head inside. “It's okay if I come in?”
“Oh, quit! You know it is,” Jessica said with a smile in her voice.
Zachary walked in, stopping at the foot of the bed. “How are you feeling, Miss Jazz.”
“Much better, thank you very much,” Jasmine said softly. “I can feel my new cells
working
already.”
He chuckled. “That's wonderful to hear. Your color is starting to come back. That's a really good sign.” Zachary smiled.
Jessica looked Zachary's way. “Dr. Morgan, would you mind staying with Jasmine for a few minutes while Gabrielle and I go get something from the cafeteria?”
“I would love nothing better,” Zachary said with a bow toward Jasmine, whose smile morphed into a huge grin. Both women stepped away from the bed. Zachary went and sat in the chair nearest Jasmine.
Gabrielle and Jessica went to the cafeteria. “Do you want anything?” Jessica asked Gabrielle when they entered.
“No. I'm fine.”
“Well, I wanted to talk to you . . . away from Jasmine's hearing.”
“I thought that might be what you were doing,” Gabrielle said.
“Jasmine doesn't have anyone left to take care of her other than me. I want you to know how much I appreciate you and Dr. Morgan. Since you found out what was going on, you've been with us every step of the way. And I thank you so much for that.”
Gabrielle touched Jessica's trembling hand. “No thanks are necessary. It hasn't been a problem, and that's the truth. Zachary and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.”
“Still, if these past months have taught me anything, it's the fact that, in this life, we never know what's around the next corner. We may
want
to think that we're invincible and that we'll live, maybe not forever. But we don't always think about how precious and how quickly life can slip from our grasp.”
“Like a vapor,” Gabrielle said, recalling a scripture she'd read that spoke of how life was like a vapor.
Jessica slowly nodded her agreement. “Yes.” Jessica cast her eyes down, then back up at Gabrielle. “I know you and I agreed that once this ordeal was over and Jasmine was well again, that we'd all go back to our normal lives.”
Gabrielle nodded as she wondered where Jessica was going with this.
“Gabrielle, I need to ask something of you. And if you don't want to do it or don't care to do it, please don't feel bad in telling me so. I need for us to be straight and honest with each other, especially at this point.”
“All right. What do you need to ask?”
Jessica took in a deep breath and released it slowly. “If something was to happen to me, will you take Jasmine and raise her for me?”
Gabrielle tried not to show the shock she was experiencing. This
absolutely
came out of the blue. “Oh, I'm sure you're going to be around for a very long time.”
“No . . . I'm not.” Jessica wiped at tears that were now rolling down her cheeks. “I would like to believe that I'm going to be around, but that would be both irresponsible and unfair to Jasmine.”
“Is there something you know? Something you aren't telling me?”
Jessica wiped her face with both hands and looked upward, then releasing a slight groan, she looked back at Gabrielle. “I have breast cancer.”
Gabrielle put her hand up to her mouth. She hadn't meant to react in that way, but this revelation had come completely without prior warning. “Are you sure? Have you seen a doctor?”
Jessica nodded. “Oh, I'm sure. I'm definitely sure.”
“Well, things have advanced so much in just the past few years. Folks are beating breast cancer. They have advanced in treatments. People are surviving.”
“Unfortunately, I'm not going to likely be one of those survivors.”
“You need to stop saying negative things. That's just the devil trying to use the power of your tongue to speak death over your life. You need to stop doing that and start believing God will heal you just like He's doing for Jasmine.” Gabrielle was speaking so fast now, almost as fast as her heart was beating.
“Gabrielle, I thank God for what He's done for Jasmine, I really do.” Jessica wiped her eyes with her hands again before getting up and picking up napkins left on a table next to theirs. Sitting back down, she wiped her eyes, pressing the white paper napkin to her whole face at one point.
“Well, I think you're just in shock in learning about this right now, so you're not thinking clearly.” Gabrielle flicked away a few of her own tears. “I'm sure when folks hear the word ‘cancer, ' their minds race to the worst possible conclusion.”
“I've known about this since Jasmine first became sick. My doctor told me I needed to take care of it back then. But it would have required me to have surgery, extensive chemo, and radiation. If I had agreed to do what he was saying I needed to do at that time, I wouldn't have been able to take care of Jasmine. It was either Jasmine or me . . .”
Gabrielle was crying now. “And you chose her.”
Jessica nodded as she bit down on her bottom lip. “I didn't know what else to do. Jasmine is just beginning to live; she has her whole life in front of her.”
“But she also needs her mother,” Gabrielle said, touching Jessica's hand that now rested on the table. “So you have to fight and not give up. You can beat this. I know you can.”
“I
have
been fighting.” Jessica looked up. “I've been fighting for my child. And now we've won; she's going to be okay.” Jessica nodded as she smiled, her mouth trembling. “Jasmine's going to live and not die. God answered my prayer. I was thinking He wasn't listening or that He didn't care. But in the end, He was right on time. Jasmine's going to be all right!” She nodded again as she looked at her hand.
“But now you have to fight for your life so you can be here to see her grow up, graduate high school and college. Your little girl needs you. You can't give up.”
“I'm not giving up. I'm just being a realist. Yes, I'm going to fight. But I need your help. I need you to promise me that should I lose this battle, you'll be there for Jasmine.”
Gabrielle shook her head slowly as she frowned. “You don't even have to ask that. I'm here now. If you need my help in the future, I'll be there. I will. But I'm also here for you. Whatever you need; I'm here.”
Jessica smiled. “Thank you.” She released a short laugh between her flowing tears and cries. “Thank you.” She nodded. “Thank you.”
Gabrielle forced a smile. Jessica had to fight. She had to! She needed to be there for Jasmine herself. That little girl has already been through more than any person, let alone a child, should have to endure. Jasmine couldn't lose her mother. Not now. Not now.
Jessica, you have to fight this! You have to!
Chapter 34
Thou wilt say then, The branches were broken off, that I might be grafted in.
—Romans 11:19
 
 
 
G
abrielle and Zachary visited Jasmine every day of the twenty days she was in the sterile area of the hospital recovering from the transplant. Only Gabrielle, Zachary, and Jessica were authorized to visit her at this point, outside of the medical professionals.
Gabrielle saw how tired Jessica was becoming and insisted (privately) that she do whatever she needed to get well. Jessica promised she would, but only after she was certain Jasmine was completely out of the woods and truly on her way to a full recovery.
Thirty days after the transplant process first began, Jasmine was moved to the facility where she would technically not be considered hospitalized, but more like an outpatient. While there (for the next sixty to seventy days), she would continue to be checked daily for possible infection or other immune-related complications.
Jessica's health continued to decline. Gabrielle told her she would take care of Jasmine, provided Jessica didn't object to her being around so much, while she began her own (what would now be) aggressive chemotherapy treatments. Gabrielle was deeply concerned about Jessica now, and she made her concerns known.
Too tired to fight Gabrielle any longer about it, Jessica was grateful to have someone who genuinely cared. With stage-three cancer and having been told that she
really
needed surgery, Jessica's doctor informed her that she could no longer put off, at a minimum, chemo and radiation, if she wanted even a
fighting
chance of being around just a
little
longer for her daughter. Her doctor had been emphatically blunt, telling her she'd likely be dead in a month if she didn't begin right then. Jessica told Gabrielle she would agree to take the prescribed treatment on one condition.
“And what's that?” Gabrielle asked.
“If you'll come work for me. Allow me to pay you to take care of my child.”
“What?” Gabrielle was more shocked than insulted.
Jessica was so weak now she could barely get her words out. Even if she hadn't told Gabrielle, it was obvious from her frail body that something was wrong other than the toll Jasmine's sickness had taken on her. She'd totally ruled out surgery because she knew it would take her out of commission. Right now Jessica was using every ounce of strength she could muster just to keep Jasmine from knowing how truly sick she was.
“Hear me out completely,” Jessica said, swallowing hard enough that Gabrielle could see her do it. “I can't do what's needed anymore. And frankly, you can't continue trying to keep up with your full-time job at the church and be here for me and Jasmine when we need you. Not the way we'll really need you at this point.”
“Oh, you don't have to be concerned about me. I'll be okay. So far it hasn't posed a problem. And it won't be a problem now.” Gabrielle leaned in on the table in the room where they sat alone. “Besides, Jasmine will be going home soon.”
“And then what?” Jessica sat back against her chair, looking like she would tip over if someone merely walked by and caused a slight breeze. She stared at Gabrielle. “When Jasmine comes home, then what? Huh? She's still going to need someone who can do what needs to be done. And honestly, there will be days when I know she'll be a little down and need me, and maybe that will be the day when I can barely get out of bed, if I can get out at all. What then, Gabrielle? What?”
“If you're telling me you'd like me to continue to do what I can just as I've already been doing here and at the hospital before here, then I'm telling you it's not a problem. I can do that. I've tried to be respectful of you and Jasmine, being aware of the boundaries that must be maintained. But if you're asking me to come to your house after Jasmine is released to go home and help you out”—Gabrielle smiled—“then I'll be more than happy to do that. You don't have to offer to pay me to do that.”
Jessica leaned on the table, resting her upper body on her folded arms. Her face was tired. She looked like a person too tired to go on. “We need you,” Jessica said. “I need you to help me make sure Jasmine is all right. And let's be honest: It's not fair to ask you to work a full-time job somewhere and then come and help us pretty much full-time. It's just not right. So I'm asking you, if you would, please consider working full-time for me and allow me to pay you for your services.”
“Jessica, I'm sure you can hire plenty of folks who are more qualified than me.”
“Yes, I could hire a nurse or someone else to do this. But Jasmine needs stability in her life. She needs love. And I need someone around who I know, without any doubt, loves my little girl as much as I do and would do anything to ensure that she's okay. At this point, I don't know anybody else who fits that description other than you. So please”—she sat up and grabbed Gabrielle's hand, almost in a death grip—“I'm asking you . . . begging you: Please do this for us. And if not for me, then do it for Jasmine. At least consider it.”
Gabrielle sucked in a deep breath and fell back hard against the chair. “All right. I'll consider it. But I'd like to talk this over with Pastor Landris and Johnnie Mae. Both of them have been so wonderful to me. They're like my parents.”
Jessica released Gabrielle's hand. “That's fine. Talk it over with whoever you feel you need to. All I'm asking is for you to think about it and let me know. And if your answer is no, then I'll respect that and work this out somehow another way. But almost nine years ago, you made me a part of this wonderful little girl's life when you opted to give her life, then she was given to me. Now it's like you've been grafted into our lives . . . into our little family. Somehow, we've managed to bring our two worlds together and make this work. Just like that wonderful person's donated cells were grafted into Jasmine and have now become a part of her.”
 
Gabrielle called Johnnie Mae and left a message for her to call her as soon as she got a chance. Gabrielle truly didn't want to quit her job. Becoming the director over this dance ministry had been the best thing that could have ever happened for her. It was a dream come true. To be able to do what she loved, and get paid to do it. And on top of that, the work she happened to be doing was ministry—no, it didn't get any better than
that
!
And yet, she was being asked to sacrifice one special love for another.
She looked up at the ceiling. “God, what do I do? What do I do?”

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