The Outback (3 page)

‘Congratulations, Matt,’
said Rose. ‘You have passed the training. You are now a fully qualified stick
picker.’

This again brought giggles
from the group. He assumed it was just the alcohol, but sought further
clarification anyway.

‘You still haven’t
answered my question,’ he said. ‘What is stick picking?’

‘Stick picking
is...picking sticks,’ Niall answered, rather lamely. ‘Basically, we are driven
to a field littered with dead wood and we have to clear it.’

‘And what do you do with
the sticks when you have collected them?’

‘We burn them.’

‘If you would prefer a
more positive job description you could try calling yourself a bonfire technician,’
suggested Stephen.

This was the first time
he had spoken and his humour was drier than the desert around them. Both he and
Niall were compatriots of Colin and it was clear that the three were going to
get along.

‘It sounds easy enough,’
said Matt. ‘There are certainly worse jobs out there. At least it doesn’t
involve children or animals.’

‘Matt’s very nervous
about the local wildlife, so he is,’ said Colin.

‘I am not. It’s just
good to know what I need to avoid.’

‘If it slithers or
crawls give it a wide berth. That’s the basic rule in these parts,’ said Niall.
‘Have you checked your van for any unexpected roommates?’

The question made Matt
uneasy. They were all sat on logs around the open campfire and he had taken his
seat without giving a second thought to what could be lurking between the
cracks in the wood. Colin picked up on his nervousness instantly.

‘You should double check
that patch up job when you get back to the van,’ he said.

‘Find a few holes, did
you?’ asked Niall.

‘Just the one, but it
was huge. Right beside Matt’s bed.’

‘I’d make sure that’s
securely covered if I were you,’ advised Niall. ‘You don’t want any red backs
sneaking in whilst you sleep.’

‘Red backs?’ Matt asked.

‘Spiders; they’re the
only deadly ones they get in these parts, but there are a hell of a lot of them
about.’

‘I hung my washing up to
dry and one crawled into my knickers,’ said Jenny, who was the younger sister
of Rose. She was also a little tipsier than the others.

‘It was attracted by all
of the cobwebs in there,’ said Stephen. ‘Jen hasn’t had a boyfriend in over
four months, you know, lads. Perhaps either of you may be the one to change
that.’

The Irishman gave a wink
to the embarrassed girl to show that he was only playing with her. Both Matt
and Colin laughed off the suggestion. The camp pecking order was quickly
becoming apparent and they each knew that how they acted on this night would
decide their own places within it.

‘Do any of you guys
smoke?’ Colin asked.

‘There isn’t much else
to do in these parts,’ replied Niall. ‘Tobacco is like gold dust around here
though. We tend to share what we have to keep it social.’

‘That’s all very well,
but do you
smoke
?’ Colin again asked, with a more suggestive inflection
this time.

The Irishmen were quick
to catch on and the three soon repaired to Colin’s van, where his stash was
waiting for them. This left just Matt and the girls, which placed him at a
disadvantage.

‘I take it there is not
much of a social scene in this town,’ he said.

‘This is it,’ said Rose.
‘Unless you want to venture down to the local pub, but that’s probably
something you would only want to experience once.’

‘Is it that good?’ he
asked, reaching down for another beer.

‘The highlight of the
week is on a Friday when they have skimpies night. When you are this far from
civilisation a few scantily clad barmaids is as good as it gets, apparently.’

‘And you don’t approve?
Back in Cairns the barmaids wore bikinis all the time. I thought it was the
norm in this climate.’

‘This is a desert not a
beach and these girls do not wear bikinis. Come to think of it, even the term
girls may be stretching it a little. Stephen described them as “belonging more
to
Ripley’s Believe It Or Not
than
Victoria’s Secret
”.’

‘So the guys have been
along then?’

‘They only go when they
want to score some weed. Ben, who left a few days ago, had a contact there.’

‘There probably won’t be
much reason to go there in the foreseeable future then. I caught a glimpse in
Colin’s luggage when he was unpacking and he came prepared, if you know what I
mean.’

‘You boys are terrible,’
said Jenny, whose tone had settled considerably since she had last spoken.

Unlike her elder sister,
who had luxuriant blonde locks and delicately pale skin, Jenny had dark hair
and a warm, tanned complexion. Although clearly in the shadow of her sibling
there was something about the girl that Matt found most appealing.

‘At least Matt here
likes to keep a clear head,’ said Rose.

‘I wouldn’t say that,’
he replied, raising his bottle for another gulp.

‘And what about your
other friends; weren’t there four of you arrived today?’ she asked.

‘Yes there was. Do you
want to go and meet them?’

Her face lit up.

‘I thought you would
never ask.’

***

The bar was now full.
That is to say that the majority of the seats inside of it were taken. Standing
room only was a term that would rarely apply outside of the men’s dunny in the
Birribandi Tavern. Even on a Saturday night. Being the only watering hole
within a hundred kilometre radius, the tavern had not been appropriated by a single
group and instead represented a full multigenerational cross section of the
entire town. Under the watchful eye of parents, uncles and grandfathers, the
town’s youngsters rarely stepped out of line. Amidst the revelry and
conversation a lonely figure sat at one corner of the bar.

Joe had gone home
leaving his new business partner to drink alone. Rhett was onto his fifth
schooner, but had barely even begun to warm up. He always stuck to beer in
public, never spirits, as drink was just one of the many demons he had battled
over the years. Once despised by the entire town, he was now looked upon the
same way one looks upon a wild animal neutered with age. Character traits that
would have been considered deplorable thirty years ago were now regarded as merely
colourful.

He emptied his glass and
deposited it back onto the bar in one fluid movement.

‘Same again?’ offered
the barman, pouring the drink without waiting for a reply.

‘Too right, but it’ll be
my last,’ replied Rhett. ‘Don’t want to overdo it now, do I?’

The barman smirked to
himself, but not so that the old man could see him. The pub doubled as a bottle
shop and it was the only place in town where alcohol could be purchased. Rhett
was one of the most frequent customers. Just that very afternoon he had been in
and bought a bottle of rum. The only reason he hung around after Joe left was
to see if he could drum up a bit of business.

He had a brief stroll
around the tavern to look for potential customers, but none of his regulars
were in. Those that were present seemed to either tense up or lean away as he
passed them. It was a reaction that he evoked with great frequency.

Thirty minutes later and
the atmosphere in the tavern improved considerably. This meant nothing to Rhett
as he was already back home, tucking into his rum. He lived close enough to the
pub that the walk back barely interrupted his drinking time. The only concern
he had was that maybe one bottle would not be enough. It never was.

***

Colin took a protracted
drag on the joint before passing it on to Stephen.

‘Man, that was a long
journey,’ he said. ‘If I’d had to wait much longer for this I’d be going cold
turkey by now for sure.’

‘I reckon you could’ve
had a crafty smoke on the bus provided you were discreet enough like,’ said
Niall.

‘Are you kidding me? I
tried that on a tour once. We were on a four hour drive from Alice Springs to
King’s Canyon. Since I was on the back seat and everyone else seemed half
asleep I thought I’d get away with it. Little did I realise that the bastard
air-con unit was circulating my smoke throughout the entire bus. We pulled in
for a rest stop at this dried up salt lake and everyone was stoned; even your
man driving the bus.’

‘It sounds like you
livened their day up a bit,’ said Niall.

‘It was brutal. People
started stripping off and marching into the salt lake thinking that they could
go for a swim. We were in the middle of a fucking desert for Christ’s sake. The
only water within a hundred miles was what we had on the bus. Some Korean guy
even started digging a hole through all of the salt. I asked what he was doing
and he just kept repeating “too shallow” over and over again. You can get away
with that shit on a bus full of backpackers, but no way would I take any
chances on a public bus. If they kick you off, you’re dingo food.’

‘Well, you’re gonna love
it here,’ said Stephen.

‘Birribandi is a
stoner’s paradise,’ added Niall.

The joint had now
returned to Colin, who took time to contemplate it in his fingertips.

‘Has either of you boys
heard of a town named Nimbin?’ he asked.

‘I have,’ replied
Stephen. ‘Isn’t that the place where they legalized cannabis?’

‘It’s not legal, but the
law chooses to turn a blind eye in order to provide a gimmick to get the
tourists in. The entire town is one big shrine to all things hemp. I actually
bought this, just fifty yards from the local police station.’

He pulled back the door
of the caravan and showed them his open backpack inside. The contents of which
were clearly visible for the other two men to see.

‘Christ, I’ve never seen
so much weed before,’ said Stephen.

Colin passed over the
joint once more.

‘I figured that I’m here
for the next three months and what else would there be to do? Besides, I wasn’t
sure if I’d find a supplier in the outback, so best come prepared is what I
say.’

‘Prepared for what;
Woodstock? We’re gonna have to put in some heavy sessions to help you get
through that lot,’ said Stephen.

‘Well, I’m always happy
to share. I take it things were a little dry before I arrived?’

‘A couple of the guys
who left had a contact they bought from in town’ said Niall. ‘I never met him
myself, but he sounded like a real creep. Apparently he was reluctant to accept
the payment and it was as if he preferred to have them in his debt. That’s
certainly not someone I’d want to do business with.’

‘What about the girls?’
asked Colin.

‘I was beginning to
wonder when you would ask,’ replied Stephen. ‘Which one have you got your eye
on?’

Colin shrugged, careful
not to tread on anyone’s toes.

‘They’re both fair game
if you’re interested,’ said Stephen. ‘Rose had a thing going with one of the
guys that left so you may catch her on the rebound. The younger one’s very
idealistic though, which would rule you out for a start.’

‘My reputation precedes
me. Even amongst strangers on the far reaches of civilisation the legend of
Colin O’Meara lives on.’

Stephen laughed, before
reappraising the situation to offer his countryman a slight glimmer of hope.

‘Then again, she’s also
quite naive so you may stand a slim chance.’

‘Glad to hear it. How
about you two?’ asked Colin. ‘At least one of you must have had a crack at it.’

‘After three weeks
together they feel more like sisters,’ replied Stephen. ‘Besides, there are
always other avenues to explore.’

‘You haven’t met Celeste
yet,’ added Niall.

Colin raised an eyebrow.

‘Celeste?’

‘She’s Canadian, but
from the French side. Which, may I add, she reminds us of almost constantly.
She’s seeing Pierro, who is the chef, so if anyone gets caught fooling around
with her we will all starve.’

‘Well, isn’t this
turning out to be quite the soap opera you have going on here,’ said Colin. ‘So
where is Celeste tonight?’

‘She doesn’t always mix
with the rest of the group. From what we gather, she suffers from epilepsy and
Pierro doesn’t like her drinking when he’s not around. He’s terrified that
she’ll get into trouble when he isn’t there to look after her.’

‘There are eight other
people here. Is it really concern or is he worried about the competition?’

‘I think you’ll figure
out the answer to that yourself soon enough. Tonight though, is about
celebrating new arrivals and the possibilities that they bring.’

Niall took a long draw
on the joint before passing it on.