The Oxford dictionary of modern quotations (14 page)

I have the satiric temperament: when I am laughing at anyone I am

generally rather amusing, but when I am praising anyone, I am always

deadly dull.

Saturday Review 28 May 1898

The only tribute a French translator can pay Shakespeare is not to

translate him--even to please Sarah [Bernhardt].

Saturday Review 17 June 1899

"I'm afraid I found [the British Museum] rather a depressing place. It--it

seemed to sap one's vitality." "It does. That's why I go there. The lower

one's vitality, the more sensitive one is to great art."

Seven Men (1919) "Enoch Soames"

Enter Michael Angelo. Andrea del Sarto appears for a moment at a window.

Pippa passes.

Seven Men (1919) "Savonarola Brown" act 3

Most women are not so young as they are painted.

Yellow Book (1894) vol. 1, p. 67

"After all," as a pretty girl once said to me, "women are a sex by

themselves, so to speak."

Yellow Book (1894) vol. 1, p. 70

Fate wrote her [Queen Caroline of Brunswick] a most tremendous tragedy,

and she played it in tights.

Yellow Book (1894) vol. 3, p. 260

There is always something rather absurd about the past.

Yellow Book (1895) vol. 4, p. 282

To give an accurate and exhaustive account of the period would need a far

less brilliant pen than mine.

Yellow Book (1895) vol. 4, p. 283

None, it is said, of all who revelled with the Regent, was half so wicked

as Lord George Hell.

Yellow Book (1896) vol. 11, p. 11 "Happy Hypocrite" ch. 1

The fading signals and grey eternal walls of that antique station, which,

familiar to them and insignificant, does yet whisper to the tourist the

last enchantments of the Middle Age.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 1

Zuleika, on a desert island, would have spent most of her time in looking

for a man's footprint.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 2

The dullard's envy of brilliant men is always assuaged by the suspicion

that they will come to bad end.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 4

Women who love the same man have a kind of bitter freemasonry.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 4

You will find that the woman who is really kind to dogs is always one who

has failed to inspire sympathy in men.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 6

Beauty and the lust for learning have yet to be allied.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 7

You will think me lamentably crude: my experience of life has been drawn

from life itself.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 7

He held, too, in his enlightened way, that Americans have a perfect right

to exist. But he did often find himself wishing Mr Rhodes had not enabled

them to exercise that right in Oxford.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 8

She was one of the people who say "I don't know anything about music

really, but I know what I like."

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 9. Cf. Henry James 112:3

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind-legs. But by

standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 9

Deeply regret inform your grace last night two black owls came and perched

on battlements remained there through night hooting at dawn flew away none

knows whither awaiting instructions Jellings.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 14

Prepare vault for funeral Monday Dorset.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 14

The Socratic manner is not a game at which two can play. Please answer my

question, to the best of your ability.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 15

Byron!--he would be all forgotten today if he had lived to be a florid old

gentleman with iron-grey whiskers, writing very long, very able letters to

The Times about the Repeal of the Corn Laws.

Zuleika Dobson (1911) ch. 18

2.41 Brendan Behan =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1923-1964

He was born an Englishman and remained one for years.

Hostage (1958) act 1

Pat: He was an Anglo-Irishman.

Meg: In the blessed name of God what's that?

Pat: A Protestant with a horse.

Hostage (1958) act 1

Meanwhile I'll sing that famous old song, "The Hound that Caught the Pubic

Hare."

Hostage (1958) act 1

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and

sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my

absence.

Hostage (1958) act 1

Soldier: What's a mixed infant?

Teresa: A little boy or girl under five years old. They were called

mixed infants because until that time the boys and girls were mixed

together.

Soldier: I wish I'd been a mixed infant.

Hostage (1958) act 2

I am a sociable worker. Have you your testament?

Hostage (1958) act 2

Go on, abuse me--your own husband that took you off the streets on a

Sunday morning, when there wasn't a pub open in the city.

Hostage (1958) act 2

We're here because we're queer

Because we're queer because we're here.

Hostage (1958) act 3

There's no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

In Dominic Behan My Brother Brendan (1965) p. 158

2.42 John Hay Beith =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

See Ian Hay (8.33)

2.43 Clive Bell =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1881-1964

One account...given me by a very good artist, is that what he tries to

express in a picture is "a passionate apprehension of form."

Art (1914) pt. 1, ch. 3

It would follow that "significant form" was form behind which we catch a

sense of ultimate reality.

Art (1914) pt. 1, ch. 3

Art and Religion are, then, two roads by which men escape from

circumstance to ecstasy. Between aesthetic and religious rapture there is

a family alliance. Art and Religion are means to similar states of mind.

Art (1914) pt. 2, ch. 1

I will try to account for the degree of my aesthetic emotion. That, I

conceive, is the function of the critic.

Art (1914) pt. 3 ch. 3

Only reason can convince us of those three fundamental truths without a

recogniton of which there can be no effective liberty: that what we

believe is not necessarily true; that what we like is not necessarily

good; and that all questions are open.

Civilization (1928) ch. 5

2.44 Henry Bellamann =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Randy--where--where's the rest of me?" His voice rose to a sharp wail.

King's Row (1940) pt. 5, ch. 1 (also used in the 1941 film of the book,

where the line was spoken by Ronald Reagan)

2.45 Hilaire Belloc =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1870-1953

Child! do not throw this book about;

Refrain from the unholy pleasure

Of cutting all the pictures out!

Preserve it as your chiefest treasure.

Bad Child's Book of Beasts (1896) dedication

I call you bad, my little child,

Upon the title page,

Because a manner rude and wild

Is common at your age.

Bad Child's Book of Beasts (1896) introduction

Who take their manners from the Ape,

Their habits from the Bear,

Indulge in loud unseemly jape,

And never brush their hair.

Bad Child's Book of Beasts (1896) introduction

Mothers of large families (who claim to common sense)

Will find a Tiger well repay the trouble and expense.

Bad Child's Book of Beasts (1896) "The Tiger"

I shoot the Hippopotamus

With bullets made of platinum,

Because if I use leaden ones

His hide is sure to flatten 'em.

Bad Child's Book of Beasts (1896) "The Hippopotamus"

When people call this beast to mind,

They marvel more and more

At such a little tail behind,

So large a trunk before.

Bad Child's Book of Beasts (1896) "The Elephant"

And always keep a-hold of Nurse

For fear of finding something worse.

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Jim"

The Chief Defect of Henry King

Was chewing little bits of String.

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Henry King"

Physicians of the Utmost Fame

Were called at once; but when they came

They answered, as they took their Fees,

"There is no Cure for this Disease."

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Henry King"

"Oh, my Friends, be warned by me,

That Breakfast, Dinner, Lunch, and Tea

Are all the Human Frame requires..."

With that, the Wretched Child expires.

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Henry King"

Matilda told such Dreadful Lies,

It made one Gasp and Stretch one's Eyes;

Her Aunt, who, from her Earliest Youth,

Had kept a Strict Regard for Truth,

Attempted to Believe Matilda:

The effort very nearly killed her.

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Matilda"

It happened that a few Weeks later

Her Aunt was off to the Theatre

To see that Interesting Play

The Second Mrs Tanqueray.

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Matilda"

For every time She shouted "Fire!"

They only answered "Little Liar!"

And therefore when her Aunt returned,

Matilda, and the House, were Burned.

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Matilda"

In my opinion, Butlers ought

To know their place, and not to play

The Old Retainer night and day.

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Lord Lundy"

Sir! you have disappointed us!

We had intended you to be

The next Prime Minister but three:

The stocks were sold; the Press was squared;

The Middle Class was quite prepared.

But as it is!...My language fails!

Go out and govern New South Wales!

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Lord Lundy"

A Trick that everyone abhors

In Little Girls is slamming Doors.

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Rebecca"

She was not really bad at heart,

But only rather rude and wild:

She was an aggravating child.

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Rebecca"

The nicest child I ever knew

Was Charles Augustus Fortescue.

He never lost his cap, or tore

His stockings or his pinafore :

In eating Bread he made no Crumbs,

He was extremely fond of sums.

Cautionary Tales (1907) "Charles Augustus Fortescue"

The pleasure politicians take in their limelight pleases me with a sort of

pleasure I get when I see a child's eyes gleam over a new toy.

Conversation with a Cat (1931) ch. 17

Gentlemen, I am a Catholic. As far as possible, I go to Mass every day.

This is a rosary. As far as possible, I kneel down and tell these beads

every day. If you reject me on account of my religion, I shall thank God

that He has spared me the indignity of being your representative.

Speech to voters of South Salford, 1906, in R. Speaight Life of Hilaire

Belloc (1957) ch. 10

I always like to associate with a lot of priests because it makes me

understand anti-clerical things so well.

Letter to E. S. P. Haynes, 9 Nov. 1909, in R. Speaight Life of Hilaire

Belloc (1957) ch. 17

Whatever happens we have got

The Maxim Gun, and they have not.

Modern Traveller (1898) pt. 6

I had an Aunt in Yucatan

Who bought a Python from a man

And kept it for a pet.

She died, because she never knew

These simple little rules and few;--

The Snake is living yet.

More Beasts for Worse Children (1897) "The Python"

The Llama is a woolly sort of fleecy hairy goat,

With an indolent expression and an undulating throat

Like an unsuccessful literary man.

More Beasts for Worse Children (1897) "The Llama"

The Microbe is so very small

You cannot make him out at all.

More Beasts for Worse Children (1897) "The Microbe"

Oh! let us never, never doubt

What nobody is sure about!

More Beasts for Worse Children (1897) "The Microbe"

Lord Finchley tried to mend the Electric Light

Himself. It struck him dead: And serve him right!

It is the business of the wealthy man

To give employment to the artisan.

More Peers (1911) "Lord Finchley"

Lord Hippo suffered fearful loss

By putting money on a horse

Which he believed, if it were pressed,

Would run far faster than the rest.

More Peers (1911) "Lord Hippo"

Like many of the Upper Class

He liked the Sound of Broken Glass.

New Cautionary Tales (1930) "About John." Cf. Evelyn Waugh 222:19

Birds in their little nests agree

With Chinamen, but not with me.

New Cautionary Tales (1930) "On Food"

It is the best of all trades, to make songs, and the second best to sing

them.

On Everything (1909) "On Song"

Is there no Latin word for Tea? Upon my soul, if I had known that I would

have let the vulgar stuff alone.

On Nothing (1908) "On Tea"

Strong brother in God and last companion, Wine.

Short Talks with the Dead (1926) "Heroic Poem upon Wine"

Sally is gone that was so kindly

Sally is gone from Ha'nacker Hill.

Sonnets and Verse (1923) "Ha'nacker Mill"

Do you remember an Inn,

Miranda?