The Oxford dictionary of modern quotations (27 page)

John Cleese 1939-

They're Germans. Don't mention the war.

Fawlty Towers "The Germans" (BBC TV programme, 1975), in Complete Fawlty

Towers (1988) p. 153

So Harry says, "You don't like me any more. Why not?" And he says,

"Because you've got so terribly pretentious." And Harry says,

"Pretentious? Moi?"

Fawlty Towers "The Psychiatrist" (BBC TV programme, 1979), in Complete

Fawlty Towers (1988) p. 190

3.66 Sarah Norcliffe Cleghorn =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1876-1959

The golf-links lie so near the mill

That almost every day

The labouring children can look out

And watch the men at play.

New York Tribune 23 Jan. 1914 "For Some Must Watch, While--"

3.67 Georges Clemenceau =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1841-1929

La guerre, c'est une chose trop grave pour la confier � des militaires.

War is too serious a matter to entrust to military men.

Attributed to Clemenceau e.g. in Hampden Jackson Clemenceau and the Third

Republic (1946) p. 228, but also attributed to Briand and Talleyrand

Politique int�rieure, je fais la guerre; politique ext�rieure, je fais

toujours la guerre. Je fais toujours la guerre.

My home policy: I wage war; my foreign policy: I wage war. All the time

I wage war.

Speech to French Chamber of Deputies, 8 Mar. 1918, in Discours de Guerre

(War Speeches, 1968) p. 172

Il est plus facile de faire la guerre que la paix.

It is easier to make war than to make peace.

Speech at Verdun, 20 July 1919, in Discours de Paix (Peace Speeches, 1938)

p. 122

3.68 Harlan Cleveland =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1918-

In 1950 he [Harlan Cleveland] invented the phrase, so thrashed to death in

later years, "the revolution of rising expectations."

Arthur Schlesinger Thousand Days (1965) ch. 16

3.69 Richard Cobb =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1917-

In an operation of this kind one would not go for a Proust or a Joyce--not

that I would know about that, never having read either.

Speech at Booker Prize awards in London, 18 Oct. 1984, in The Times

19 Oct. 1984

3.70 Claud Cockburn =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1904-

Small earthquake in Chile. Not many dead.

In Time of Trouble (1956) ch. 10 (the words with which Cockburn claims to

have won a competition at The Times for the dullest headline)

3.71 Jean Cocteau =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1889-1963

Le tact dans l' audace c'est de savoir jusqu'o� on peut aller trop loin.

Being tactful in audacity is knowing how far one can go too far.

Le Coq et l'Arlequin (1918) in Le Rappel � l'ordre (Recall to Order,

1926) p. 2

Le pire drame pour un po�te, c'est d'�tre admir� par malentendu.

The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood.

Le Coq et l'Arlequin (1918) in Le Rappel � l'ordre (Recall to Order,

1926) p. 20

S'il faut choisir un crucifi�, la foule sauve toujours Barabbas.

If it has to choose who is to be crucified, the crowd will always save

Barabbas.

Le Coq et l'Arlequin (1918) in Le Rappel � l'ordre (Recall to Order,

1926) p. 39

L'Histoire est un alliage de r�el et de mensonge. Le r�el de l'Histoire

devient un mensonge. L'irr�el de la fable devient v�rit�.

History is a combination of reality and lies. The reality of History

becomes a lie. The unreality of the fable becomes the truth.

Journal d'un inconnu (Diary of an Unknown Man, 1953) p. 143

Vivre est une chute horizontale.

Life is a horizontal fall.

Opium (1930) p. 37

Quand j'ai �crit que Victor Hugo �tait un fou qui se croyait Victor Hugo,

je ne plaisantais pas.

When I wrote that Victor Hugo was a madman who thought he was Victor Hugo,

I was not joking.

Opium (1930) p. 77

3.72 Lenore Coffee =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

?1897-1984

What a dump!

Beyond the Forest (1949 film; line spoken by Bette Davis, entering

a room)

3.73 George M. Cohan =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1878-1942

It was Cohan who first said to a newspaperman (who wanted some information

about Broadway Jones in 1912), "I don't care what you say about me, as

long as you say something about me, and as long as you spell my name

right."

John McCabe George M. Cohan (1973) ch. 13

Give my regards to Broadway,

Remember me to Herald Square,

Tell all the gang at Forty-Second Street

That I will soon be there.

Give My Regards to Broadway (1904 song)

Over there, over there,

Send the word, send the word over there

That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming,

The drums rum-tumming everywhere.

So prepare, say a prayer,

Send the word, send the word to beware.

We'll be over, we're coming over

And we won't come back till it's over, over there.

Over There (1917 song)

I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy,

A Yankee Doodle, do or die;

A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam's,

Born on the fourth of July.

I've got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart,

She's my Yankee Doodle joy.

Yankee Doodle came to London,

Just to ride the ponies;

I am the Yankee Doodle Boy.

Yankee Doodle Boy (1904 song)

3.74 Desmond Coke =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1879-1931

His blade struck the water a full second before any other: the lad had

started well. Nor did he flag as the race wore on: as the others tired, he

seemed to grow more fresh, until at length, as the boats began to near the

winning-post, his oar was dipping into the water nearly twice as often as

any other.

Sandford of Merton (1903) ch. 12 (often misquoted as "All rowed fast, but

none so fast as stroke")

3.75 Colette (Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1873-1954

Il d�couvrait...le monde des �motions qu'on nomme, � la l�g�re, physiques.

He was discovering...the world of the emotions that are so lightly called

physical.

Le Bl� en herbe (Ripening Seed, 1923) p. 161

Quand elle l�ve ses paupi�res, on dirait qu'elle se d�shabille.

When she raises her eyelids, it is as if she is undressing.

Claudine s'en va (Claudine Goes Away, 1931) p. 59

Ne porte jamais de bijoux artistiques, �a d�consid�re compl�tement une

femme.

Don't ever wear artistic jewellery; it wrecks a woman's reputation.

Gigi (1944) p. 40

3.76 R. G. Collingwood =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1889-1943

Perfect freedom is reserved for the man who lives by his own work and in

that work does what he wants to do.

Speculum Mentis (1924) p. 25

3.77 Charles Collins and Fred W. Leigh =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

My old man said, "Follow the van,

Don't dilly-dally on the way!"

Off went the cart with the home packed in it,

I walked behind with my old cock linnet.

But I dillied and dallied, dallied and dillied,

Lost the van and don't know where to roam.

You can't trust the "specials" like the old time "coppers"

When you can't find your way home.

Don't Dilly-Dally on the Way (1919 song; made famous by Marie Lloyd)

3.78 Charles Collins and Fred Murray =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Boiled beef and carrots.

Title of song (1910; made famous by Harry Champion)

3.79 Charles Collins, E. A. Sheppard, and Fred Terry =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Any old iron, any old iron,

Any any old old iron?

You look neat

Talk about a treat,

You look dapper from your napper to your feet.

Dressed in style, brand new tile,

And your father's old green tie on,

But I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch chain;

Old iron, old iron?

Any Old Iron (1911 song; made famous by Harry Champion; the second line

is often sung as "Any any any old iron?")

3.80 John Churton Collins =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1848-1908

To ask advice is in nine cases out of ten to tout for flattery.

In L. C. Collins Life of John Churton Collins (1912) p. 316

3.81 Michael Collins =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1890-1922

Think--what I have got for Ireland? Something which she has wanted these

past seven hundred years. Will anyone be satisfied at the bargain? Will

anyone? I tell you this--early this morning I signed my death warrant.

I thought at the time how odd, how ridiculous--a bullet may just as well

have done the job five years ago.

Letter, 6 Dec. 1921, in T. R. Dwyer Michael Collins and the Treaty (1981)

ch. 4

3.82 Betty Comden and Adolph Green =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Betty Comden 1919-

Adolph Green 1915-

New York, New York,--a helluva town,

The Bronx is up but the Battery's down,

And people ride in a hole in the ground:

New York, New York,--It's a helluva town.

New York, New York (1945 song; music by Leonard Bernstein)

The party's over.

Title of song (1956; music by Jule Styne)

3.83 Dame Ivy Compton-Burnett =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1884-1969

"Well, of course, people are only human," said Dudley to his brother, as

they walked to the house behind the women. "But it really does not seem

much for them to be."

A Family and a Fortune (1939) ch. 2

There are different kinds of wrong. The people sinned against are not

always the best.

The Mighty and their Fall (1961) ch. 7

There is more difference within the sexes than between them.

Mother and Son (1955) ch. 10

As regards plots I find real life no help at all. Real life seems to have

no plots.

In R. Lehmann et al. Orion I (1945) p. 25

3.84 Billy Connolly =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1942-

Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a bicycle repair

kit.

In Duncan Campbell Billy Connolly (1976) p. 92

3.85 Cyril Connolly =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1903-1974

Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice;

journalism what will be read once.

Enemies of Promise (1938) ch. 3

As repressed sadists are supposed to become policemen or butchers, so

those with an irrational fear of life become publishers.

Enemies of Promise (1938) ch. 10

Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.

Enemies of Promise (1938) ch. 13

There is no more sombre enemy of good art than the pram in the hall.

Enemies of Promise (1938) ch. 14

All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total

dependence on the appreciation of others.

Enemies of Promise (1938) ch. 16

I have called this style the Mandarin style, since it is beloved by

literary pundits, by those who would make the written word as unlike as

possible to the spoken one. It is the style of those writers whose

tendency is to make their language convey more than they mean or more than

they feel, it is the style of most artists and all humbugs.

Enemies of Promise (1938) ch. 20

In the eighteenth century he [Alec Douglas-Home] would have become Prime

Minister before he was thirty; as it was he appeared honourably ineligible

for the struggle of life.

Enemies of Promise (1938) ch. 23

Were I to deduce any system from my feelings on leaving Eton, it might be

called The Theory of Permanent Adolescence.

Enemies of Promise (1938) ch. 24

It is closing time in the gardens of the West and from now on an artist

will be judged only by the resonance of his solitude or the quality of his

despair.

Horizon Dec. 1949--Jan. 1950, p. 362

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the

public and have no self.

New Statesman 25 Feb. 1933

Destroy him as you will, the bourgeois always bounces up--execute him,

expropriate him, starve him out en masse, and he reappears in your

children.

In Observer 7 Mar. 1937

He [George Orwell] could not blow his nose without moralising on the state

of the handkerchief industry.

Sunday Times 29 Sept. 1968

The more books we read, the sooner we perceive that the only function of a

writer is to produce a masterpiece. No other task is of any consequence.

Unquiet Grave (1944) pt. 1

There is no fury like a woman looking for a new lover.