The Oxford dictionary of modern quotations (62 page)

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Authors: Tony Augarde

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1830-1908

In England, justice is open to all--like the Ritz Hotel.

In R. E. Megarry Miscellany-at-Law (1955) p. 254

13.72 Melissa Mathison =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1950-

E.T. phone home.

E.T. (1982 film; directed by Steven Spielberg)

13.73 Henri Matisse =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1869-1954

Ce que je r�ve, c'est un art d'�quilibre, de puret�, de tranquillit�, sans

sujet inqui�tant ou pr�occupant, qui soit...un l�nifiant, un calmant

c�r�bral, quelque chose d'analogue � un bon fauteuil qui le d�lasse de ses

fatigues physiques.

What I dream of is an art of balance, of purity and serenity devoid of

troubling or depressing subject matter...a soothing, calming influence on

the mind, something like a good armchair which provides relaxation from

physical fatigue.

Notes d'un peintre (Notes of a Painter, 1908) in Dominique Fourcade

�crits et propos sur l'art (1972) p. 30

13.74 Reginald Maudling =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1917-1979

There comes a time in every man's life when he must make way for an older

man.

Remark after he was dropped from the Shadow Cabinet and replaced by an

older man, in Guardian 20 Nov. 1976

13.75 W. Somerset Maugham =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1874-1965

Hypocrisy is the most difficult and nerve-racking vice that any man can

pursue; it needs an unceasing vigilance and a rare detachment of spirit.

It cannot, like adultery or gluttony, be practised at spare moments; it is

a whole-time job.

Cakes and Ale (1930) ch. 1

This is not so strange when you reflect that from the earliest times the

old have rubbed it into the young that they are wiser than they, and

before the young had discovered what nonsense this was they were old too,

and it profited them to carry on the imposture.

Cakes and Ale (1930) ch. 11

Poor Henry [James], he's spending eternity wandering round and round a

stately park and the fence is just too high for him to peep over and

they're having tea just too far away for him to hear what the countess is

saying.

Cakes and Ale (1930) ch. 11

You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is

that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.

Circle (1921) act 3

A woman will always sacrifice herself if you give her the opportunity. It

is her favourite form of self-indulgence.

Circle (1921) act 3

"Dying" he [Maugham] said to me, "is a very dull, dreary affair." Suddenly

he smiled. "And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with

it," he added.

Robin Maugham Escape from the Shadows (1972) pt. 5, p. 233

There can be nothing so gratifying to an author as to arouse the respect

and esteem of the reader. Make him laugh and he will think you a trivial

fellow, but bore him in the right way and your reputation is assured.

Gentleman in the Parlour (1930) ch. 11

God knows that I have never been that [anti-Semitic]; some of my best

friends both in England and America are Jews.

Letter, May 1946, in Ted Morgan Somerset Maugham (1980) ch. 6

I forget who it was that recommended men for their soul's good to do each

day two things they disliked: it was a wise man, and it is a precept that

I have followed scrupulously; for every day I have got up and I have gone

to bed.

Moon and Sixpence (1919) ch. 2

Impropriety is the soul of wit.

Moon and Sixpence (1919) ch. 4

She saw shrewdly that the world is quickly bored by the recital of

misfortune, and willingly avoids the sight of distress.

Moon and Sixpence (1919) ch. 16

It is not true that suffering ennobles the character; happiness does that

sometimes, but suffering, for the most part, makes men petty and

vindictive.

Moon and Sixpence (1919) ch. 17

"A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her," he said, "but she

can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account."

Moon and Sixpence (1919) ch. 41

Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's

mind.

Of Human Bondage (1915) ch. 39

People ask you for criticism, but they only want praise.

Of Human Bondage (1915) ch. 50

Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use

of the other five.

Of Human Bondage (1915) ch. 51

It was such a lovely day I thought it was a pity to get up.

Our Betters (1923) act 3

I would sooner read a time-table or a catalogue than nothing at

all....They are much more entertaining than half the novels that are

written.

Summing Up (1938) p. 92

The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic

and self-complacent is erroneous; on the contrary it makes them, for the

most part, humble, tolerant and kind. Failure makes people bitter and

cruel.

Summing Up (1938) p. 187

Lucky Jim [by Kingsley Amis] is a remarkable novel. It has been greatly

praised and widely read, but I have not noticed that any of the reviewers

have remarked on its ominous significance. I am told that today rather

more than 60 per cent of the men who go to the universities go on

a Government grant. This is a new class that has entered upon the

scene....They are scum.

Sunday Times 25 Dec. 1955

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well

but not too wisely.

Writer's Notebook (1949) p. 17 (written in 1896)

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to

have a really affectionate mother.

Writer's Notebook (1949) p. 27 (written in 1896)

13.76 Bill Mauldin =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1921-

I feel like a fugitive from th' law of averages.

Up Front (1945) cartoon caption

13.77 James Maxton =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1885-1946

All I say is, if you cannot ride two horses you have no right in the

circus.

Said at Scottish Independent Labour Party Conference on being told that he

could not be in two parties, in Daily Herald 12 Jan. 1931

13.78 John May =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

You're never alone with a Strand.

Slogan for Strand cigarettes, 1960, in Nigel Rees Slogans (1982) p. 108

13.79 Percy Mayfield =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1920-1984

Hit the road, Jack.

Title of song (1961)

13.80 Charles H. Mayo =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1865-1939

The definition of a specialist as one who "knows more and more about less

and less" is good and true.

Modern Hospital Sept. 1938, p. 69

13.81 Margaret Mead =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1901-1978

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to be as mediocre as

possible.

In Quote Magazine 15 June 1958

13.82 Shepherd Mead =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1914-

How to succeed in business without really trying.

Title of book (1952)

13.83 Hughes Mearns =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1875-1965

As I was walking up the stair

I met a man who wasn't there.

He wasn't there again today.

I wish, I wish he'd stay away.

The Psycho-ed (1910 play), in Newsweek 15 Jan. 1940

13.84 Dame Nellie Melba (Helen Porter Mitchell) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1861-1931

So you're going to Australia! Well, I made twenty thousand pounds on my

tour there, but of course that will never be done again. Still, it's

a wonderful country, and you'll have a good time. What are you going to

sing? All I can say is--sing 'em muck! It's all they can understand!

Advice to Dame Clara Butt, in W. H. Ponder Clara Butt (1928) ch. 12

13.85 H. L. Mencken =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1880-1956

Here, indeed, was his [Calvin Coolidge's] one peculiar Fach, his one

really notable talent. He slept more than any other President, whether by

day or by night. Nero fiddled, but Coolidge only snored.

American Mercury Apr. 1933

The saddest life is that of a political aspirant under democracy. His

failure is ignominious and his success is disgraceful.

Baltimore Evening Sun 9 Dec. 1929

No one in this world, so far as I know--and I have searched the records

for years, and employed agents to help me--has ever lost money by

underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.

Chicago Tribune 19 Sept. 1926

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize-fighters shaking hands.

Chrestomathy (1949) ch. 30

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

Chrestomathy (1949) ch. 30

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry

later. For another thing, they die earlier.

Chrestomathy (1949) ch. 30

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Chrestomathy (1949) ch. 30

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and

deserve to get it good and hard.

Little Book in C major (1916) p. 19

Conscience: the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.

Little Book in C major (1916) p. 42

I've made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to refuse a drink

after dark.

New York Post 18 Sept. 1945

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort

to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and

chemistry.

Notebooks (1956) "Minority Report"

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly

greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed

inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party

of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics.

Notebooks (1956) "Minority Report"

All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They

never defend any one or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced

upon them, they tackle it by denouncing some one or something else.

Prejudices (1919) 1st ser., ch. 13

Poetry is a comforting piece of fiction set to more or less lascivious

music.

Prejudices (1922) 3rd ser., ch. 7

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of

the improbable.

Prejudices (1922) 3rd ser., ch. 14

If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to

please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely

girl.

Smart Set Dec. 1921

13.86 David Mercer =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1928-1980

A suitable case for treatment.

Title of play (1962) in Three TV Comedies (1966)

13.87 Johnny Mercer =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1909-1976

You've got to ac-cent-tchu-ate the positive

Elim-my-nate the negative

Latch on to the affirmative

Don't mess with Mister In-between.

Ac-cent-tchu-ate the Positive (1944 song; music by Harold Arlen)

We're drinking my friend,

To the end of a brief episode,

Make it one for my baby

And one more for the road.

One For My Baby (1943 song; music by Harold Arlen)

That old black magic.

Title of song (1942; music by Harold Arlen)

13.88 Bob Merrill =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

How much is that doggie in the window?

Title of song (1953)

13.89 Dixon Lanier Merritt =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1879-1972

Oh, a wondrous bird is the pelican!

His beak holds more than his belican.

He takes in his beak

Food enough for a week.

But I'll be darned if I know how the helican.

Nashville Banner 22 Apr. 1913

13.90 Viola Meynell =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1886-1956

The dust comes secretly day after day,

Lies on my ledge and dulls my shining things.

But O this dust that I shall drive away

Is flowers and Kings,

Is Solomon's temple, poets, Nineveh.

Verses (1919) "Dusting"

13.91 Princess Michael of Kent =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1945-

I don't enjoy my public obligations. I was not made to cut ribbons and

kiss babies.

Life Nov. 1986

13.92 George Mikes =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1912-

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table

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