The Palliser Novels (474 page)

“I cannot stay,” she said. “He has told me that I am to go, and I am in his hands. When you have a wife, Arthur, you will wish her to do your bidding. I hope she will do it for your sake, without the pain I have in doing his. Good-bye, dear friend.”

She put her hand out and he grasped it, and stood for a moment looking at her. Then he seized her in his arms and kissed her brow and her lips. “Oh, Emily, why were you not my wife? My darling, my darling!”

She had hardly extricated herself when the door opened, and Lopez stood in the room. “Mr. Fletcher,” he said, very calmly, “what is the meaning of this?”

“He has come to bid me farewell,” said Emily. “When going on so long a journey one likes to see one’s old friends, — perhaps for the last time.” There was something of indifference to his anger in her tone, and something also of scorn.

Lopez looked from one to the other, affecting an air of great displeasure. “You know, sir,” he said, “that you cannot be welcome here.”

“But he has been welcome,” said his wife.

“And I look upon your coming as a base act. You are here with the intention of creating discord between me and my wife.”

“I am here to tell her that she has a friend to trust to if she ever wants a friend,” said Fletcher.

“And you think that such trust as that would be safer than trust in her husband? I cannot turn you out of this house, sir, because it does not belong to me, but I desire you to leave at once the room which is occupied by my wife.” Fletcher paused a moment to say good-bye to the poor woman, while Lopez continued with increased indignation, “If you do not go at once you will force me to desire her to retire. She shall not remain in the same room with you.”

“Good-bye, Mr. Fletcher,” she said, again putting out her hand.

But Lopez struck it up, not violently, so as to hurt her, but still with eager roughness. “Not in my presence,” he said. “Go, sir, when I desire you.”

“God bless you, my friend,” said Arthur Fletcher. “I pray that I may live to see you back in the old country.”

“He was — kissing you,” said Lopez, as soon as the door was shut.

“He was,” said Emily.

“And you tell me so to my face, with such an air as that!”

“What am I to tell you when you ask me? I did not bid him kiss me.”

“But afterwards you took his part as his friend.”

“Why not? I should lie to you if I pretended that I was angry with him for what he did.”

“Perhaps you will tell me that you love him.”

“Of course I love him. There are different kinds of love, Ferdinand. There is that which a woman gives to a man when she would fain mate with him. It is the sweetest love of all, if it would only last. And there is another love, — which is not given, but which is won, perhaps through long years, by old friends. I have none older than Arthur Fletcher, and none who are dearer to me.”

“And you think it right that he should take you in his arms and kiss you?”

“On such an occasion I could not blame him.”

“You were ready enough to receive it, perhaps.”

“Well; I was. He has loved me well, and I shall never see him again. He is very dear to me, and I was parting from him for ever. It was the first and the last, and I did not grudge it to him. You must remember, Ferdinand, that you are taking me across the world from all my friends.”

“Psha,” he said, “that is all over. You are not going anywhere that I know of, — unless it be out into the streets when your father shuts his door on you.” And so saying he left the room without another word.

And thus the knowledge was conveyed to Mrs. Lopez that her fate in life was not to carry her to Guatemala. At the very moment in which she had been summoned to meet Arthur Fletcher she had been busy with her needle preparing that almost endless collection of garments necessary for a journey of many days at sea. And now she was informed, by a chance expression, by a word aside, as it were, that the journey was not to be made. “That is all over,” he had said, — and then had left her, telling her nothing further. Of course she stayed her needle. Whether the last word had been true or false, she could not work again, at any rate till it had been contradicted. If it were so, what was to be her fate? One thing was certain to her; — that she could not remain under her father’s roof. It was impossible that an arrangement so utterly distasteful as the present one, both to her father and to herself, should be continued. But where then should they live, — and of what nature would her life be if she should be separated from her father?

That evening she saw her father, and he corroborated her husband’s statement. “It is all over now,” he said, — “that scheme of his of going to superintend the mines. The mines don’t want him, and won’t have him. I can’t say that I wonder at it.”

“What are we to do, papa?”

“Ah; — that I cannot say. I suppose he will condescend still to honour me with his company. I do not know why he should wish to go to Guatemala or elsewhere. He has everything here that he can want.”

“You know, papa, that that is impossible.”

“I cannot say what with him is possible or impossible. He is bound by none of the ordinary rules of mankind.”

That evening Lopez returned to his dinner in Manchester Square, which was still regularly served for him and his wife, though the servants who attended upon him did so under silent and oft-repeated protest. He said not a word more as to Arthur Fletcher, nor did he seek any ground of quarrel with his wife. But that her continued melancholy and dejection made anything like good-humour impossible, even on his part, he would have been good-humoured. When they were alone she asked him as to their future destiny. “Papa tells me you are not going,” she began by saying.

“Did I not tell you so this morning?”

“Yes; — you said so. But I did not know you were earnest. Is it all over?”

“All over, — I suppose.”

“I should have thought that you would have told me with more — more seriousness.”

“I don’t know what you would have. I was serious enough. The fact is, that your father has delayed so long the payment of the promised money that the thing has fallen through of necessity. I do not know that I can blame the Company.”

Then there was a pause. “And now,” she said, “what do you mean to do?”

“Upon my word I cannot say. I am quite as much in the dark as you can be.”

“That is nonsense, Ferdinand.”

“Thank you! Let it be nonsense if you will. It seems to me that there is a great deal of nonsense going on in the world; but very little of it as true as what I say now.”

“But it is your duty to know. Of course you cannot stay here.”

“Nor you, I suppose, — without me.”

“I am not speaking of myself. If you choose, I can remain here.”

“And — just throw me overboard altogether.”

“If you provide another home for me, I will go to it. However poor it may be I will go to it, if you bid me. But for you, — of course you cannot stay here.”

“Has your father told you to say so to me?”

“No; — but I can say so without his telling me. You are banishing him from his own house. He has put up with it while he thought that you were going to this foreign country; but there must be an end of that now. You must have some scheme of life?”

“Upon my soul I have none.”

“You must have some intentions for the future?”

“None in the least. I have had intentions, and they have failed; — from want of that support which I had a right to expect. I have struggled and I have failed, and now I have got no intentions. What are yours?”

“It is not my duty to have any purpose, as what I do must depend on your commands.” Then again there was a silence, during which he lit a cigar, although he was sitting in the drawing-room. This was a profanation of the room on which even he had never ventured before, but at the present moment she was unable to notice it by any words. “I must tell papa,” she said after a while, “what our plans are.”

“You can tell him what you please. I have literally nothing to say to him. If he will settle an adequate income on us, payable of course to me, I will go and live elsewhere. If he turns me into the street without provision, he must turn you too. That is all that I have got to say. It will come better from you than from me. I am sorry, of course, that things have gone wrong with me. When I found myself the son-in-law of a very rich man I thought that I might spread my wings a bit. But my rich father-in-law threw me over, and now I am helpless. You are not very cheerful, my dear, and I think I’ll go down to the club.”

He went out of the house and did go down to the Progress. The committee which was to be held with the view of judging whether he was or was not a proper person to remain a member of that assemblage had not yet been held, and there was nothing to impede his entrance to the club, or the execution of the command which he gave for tea and buttered toast. But no one spoke to him; nor, though he affected a look of comfort, did he find himself much at his ease. Among the members of the club there was a much divided opinion whether he should be expelled or not. There was a strong party who declared that his conduct socially, morally, and politically, had been so bad that nothing short of expulsion would meet the case. But there were others who said that no act had been proved against him which the club ought to notice. He had, no doubt, shown himself to be a blackguard, a man without a spark of honour or honesty. But then, — as they said who thought his position in the club to be unassailable, — what had the club to do with that? “If you turn out all the blackguards and all the dishonourable men, where will the club be?” was a question asked with a great deal of vigour by one middle-aged gentleman who was supposed to know the club-world very thoroughly. He had committed no offence which the law could recognise and punish, nor had he sinned against the club rules. “He is not required to be a man of honour by any regulation of which I am aware,” said the middle-aged gentleman. The general opinion seemed to be that he should be asked to go, and that, if he declined, no one should speak to him. This penalty was already inflicted on him, for on the evening in question no one did speak to him.

He drank his tea and ate his toast and read a magazine, striving to look as comfortable and as much at his ease as men at their clubs generally are. He was not a bad actor, and those who saw him and made reports as to his conduct on the following day declared that he had apparently been quite indifferent to the disagreeable incidents of his position. But his indifference had been mere acting. His careless manner with his wife had been all assumed. Selfish as he was, void as he was of all principle, utterly unmanly and even unconscious of the worth of manliness, still he was alive to the opinions of others. He thought that the world was wrong to condemn him, — that the world did not understand the facts of his case, and that the world generally would have done as he had done in similar circumstances. He did not know that there was such a quality as honesty, nor did he understand what the word meant. But he did know that some men, an unfortunate class, became subject to evil report from others who were more successful, and he was aware that he had become one of those unfortunates. Nor could he see any remedy for his position. It was all blank and black before him. It may be doubted whether he got much instruction or amusement from the pages of the magazine which he turned.

At about twelve o’clock he left the club and took his way homewards. But he did not go straight home. It was a nasty cold March night, with a catching wind, and occasional short showers of something between snow and rain, — as disagreeable a night for a gentleman to walk in as one could well conceive. But he went round by Trafalgar Square, and along the Strand, and up some dirty streets by the small theatres, and so on to Holborn and by Bloomsbury Square up to Tottenham Court Road, then through some unused street into Portland Place, along the Marylebone Road, and back to Manchester Square by Baker Street. He had more than doubled the distance, — apparently without any object. He had been spoken to frequently by unfortunates of both sexes, but had answered a word to no one. He had trudged on and on with his umbrella over his head, but almost unconscious of the cold and wet. And yet he was a man sedulously attentive to his own personal comfort and health, who had at any rate shown this virtue in his mode of living, that he had never subjected himself to danger by imprudence. But now the working of his mind kept him warm, and, if not dry, at least indifferent to the damp. He had thrown aside with affected nonchalance those questions which his wife had asked him, but still it was necessary that he should answer them. He did not suppose that he could continue to live in Manchester Square in his present condition. Nor, if it was necessary that he should wander forth into the world, could he force his wife to wander with him. If he would consent to leave her, his father-in-law would probably give him something, — some allowance on which he might exist. But then of what sort would be his life?

He did not fail to remind himself over and over again that he had nearly succeeded. He had been the guest of the Prime Minister, and had been the nominee chosen by a Duchess to represent her husband’s borough in Parliament. He had been intimate with Mills Happerton who was fast becoming a millionaire. He had married much above himself in every way. He had achieved a certain popularity and was conscious of intellect. But at the present moment two or three sovereigns in his pocket were the extent of his worldly wealth and his character was utterly ruined. He regarded his fate as does a card-player who day after day holds sixes and sevens when other men have the aces and kings. Fate was against him. He saw no reason why he should not have had the aces and kings continually, especially as fate had given him perhaps more than his share of them at first. He had, however, lost rubber after rubber, — not paying his stakes for some of the last rubbers lost, — till the players would play with him no longer. The misfortune might have happened to any man; — but it had happened to him. There was no beginning again. A possible small allowance and some very retired and solitary life, in which there would be no show of honour, no flattery coming to him, was all that was left to him.