The Party Boy's Guide to Dating a Geek (Clumsy Cupids) (3 page)

around his brother, who was on his way back into

the apartment Ash watched closely as Fee squatted

down to pick up a box of books. Just to make sure

Fee's hand didn't start bleeding again, he told

himself. It had nothing to do with the way Fee's

jeans stretched across his ass when he bent over.

Fee held the box up, and Ash took it from his arms.

"Thanks, Superman," he said.

"What?" Fee asked, a confused look on his face.

"Nothing," Ash said, carrying the last box up the

sidewalk and into the apartment.

0.2

"And … we're done!" Jack yelled. "I moved the

truck to the other side of the lot and locked it up.

We can return it tomorrow." He pulled Mari into

his arms gave her a long kiss. "Welcome home,

baby."

Ash looked over at Fee. "I guess that's our cue?"

"We probably should leave them alone."

Jack and Mari barely noticed as they stepped

around them on their way to the door. "Bye, guys.

See you Sunday," Ash called.

"Thanks for your help," was the answer he got.

"Have a good weekend. See you Monday,

Marisol," Fee said. He followed Ash out of the

apartment and down the stairs.

"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Felipe

Navarro."

"Likewise, Ash Byrne," Fee said, holding out

his uninjured hand.

Ash took it, but just held it instead of shaking.

"I'd like to see you again sometime. Maybe

tomorrow night?"

"I'm just going to stay in tomorrow." Fee started

to leave, but Ash held tight.

"You sure I can't get you to come?" Ash asked, a

sly smile on his face. He was laying the innuendo

on thick, but Fee just shook his head.

"No. I've got a project I'm working on."

"Come on. Let me buy you dinner. To say thanks

for helping out."

Fee stared at Ash. Slowly, he seemed to

understand what Ash was saying. "Are you asking

me out on a date?"

"Well, yeah. So, how about it? You, me, food,

dancing?"

"I, uh. Can't. I'm sorry. I just can't." Fee gently

pulled his hand away. "Thank you, though." He

took off through the parking lot. Ash watched him

go.

Somehow, someway, he'd convince the geek to

go out with him, at least once.

Chapter One

STAR WARS vs STAR TREK: A

PRIMER

A long, long time ago, explorers boldly went to galaxies

far, far away, where no man has gone before. You've

heard their names and locations: Luke, Han, Leia, Kirk,

Spock, Darths Maul and Vader, The Death Star. Not to

mention The Force, Red Shirts, and The Even Movies

Debate. But who are they, and why should you care?

Your geek will know. And he will probably refer to them

often. Having a basic understanding of the players, and

most importantly, where they belong, will help you keep

up with your geek's rapid-fire commentary.

The first
Star Wars
movie was
Episode IV
, released in
1977, and is most commonly referred to simply as Star

Wars. It's subtitled
A New Hope
. Its sequel,
Episode V:

The Empire Strikes Back
was released in 1980, followed

b y
The Return of the Jedi
in 1983. Those movies were

followed by
Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace
in

1999,
Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones
in 2002,

and the final movie
Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the

Sith
in 2005. Emotions swirling around the
Star Wars

movie franchise are highly divided due to the release of

modified versions of the original three movies. These re-

releases included added CGI (computer-generated

imagery) backgrounds and modified scenes that changed

the course of story. Is your geek a purist, or has he

embraced the dark side?

The
Star Trek
franchise goes back even further, to the

first airings of what is commonly considered
Star Trek:

TOS
(The Original Series), airing from 1966 to 1969, and

includes eleven movies, five spin-off series, and…

1.1

Ash dropped the book he was reading and

rubbed his eyes. He'd leafed through it several

times, but it still didn't make any sense to him. Sci-

fi had never really interested him; he just didn't get

it most of the time. And this primer wasn't helping

any. Who was he kidding? He'd never be able to

keep it all straight. Why was he even bothering?

Fee had turned him down.

That's the real reason
, he thought with a sigh.

Fee had turned him down flat. No one turned

Ashley Byrne down for a date. Everyone wanted

Ash. He made sure of that. The skinny jeans, the

cute vests, loose T-shirts showing off his tattoos,

and funky shoes always caught their attention.

The odd thing was that he knew,
knew
, Fee was

interested. Those flirty smiles and sneaked glances

couldn't have been just in his imagination. He just

needed to figure out what was keeping Fee from

letting his guard down. Ash picked up the book

again and skimmed the first chapter, but
Chart 1-3:

Audience Acceptance of Han's Actions After Re-

Release

and
Table 1-8: Hands Off: Force

Choking Your Minions
, made absolutely no sense

to him. His phone rang in time to save him from

Drawing

1-4:

Schematic

Differentiations

Between the Enterprise and the Millennium

Falcon
.

"Hey, Ty. What's up?" Tyson Ashmore was his

best friend and practically his mentor down at The

Ink Tank, the tattoo parlor where they both

worked.

"I'm headed to Deli's. See you there in fifteen?"

Ash sighed and looked at the book. A night of

hanging out at Delusions of Grandeur sounded like

just the ticket to clear his mind after letting it run

around in circles over Fee. He was about to say

yes, but an image of Fee, with his shy smile and

hot body, popped into his head. "No thanks. I've

got some reading to do."

Ty sputtered as if he was choking on a drink.

"I'm sorry. It sounded like you said you had some

reading to do?"

"Ha-ha. Yes. I'm going to do some reading

tonight."

"Dude, I didn't think you knew how to read."

"Well, I can." Ash sometimes hated the fact that

his friends didn't take him seriously.

"What could possibly be so interesting that

you'd pass on a night out?"

Ash sighed again. "Remember that cute geek I

told you about?"

"The one who turned you down?"

"Yeah, him."

"What about him?"

"I can't stop thinking about him," Ash admitted

quietly.

"Why? He already turned you down. Let it go."

"That's just it. I can't. And I don't want to. I

know he was interested. I just need to figure out a

way to make him admit it."

"So reading is going to help?"

Ash blushed even though Ty couldn't see his

face. "I kind of bought an advice book."

"What?" Ty barked out a laugh. "You? Need

advice on how to get someone to like you? Now I

have heard everything."

"Ty …"

"Sorry, but this is just too much. I never thought

I'd see the day when
you
needed a guide book to

help you win a man."

"Look, I feel dumb enough about this as it is," he

said, feeling defensive. "I'd appreciate it if you'd

just back off, all right?"

"Okay, Ash. I'm sorry." Ty giggled a few more

times before his laugher died off on the other end

of the phone. He hiccupped a couple of times

before he could pull himself together. "So, tell me

about this book."

"Never mind. Just go and have fun. I'll see you

at the shop tomorrow."

"No, I'm serious. I want to help."

Ash swore he could hear his best friend's smile

through the connection, but he decided to go ahead

and tell Ty everything anyway.

"You know that advice guy who writes for

OutLoud Magazine
? Valentine?"

"The 'online wingman'?" Ty laughed. "The
Dear

Abby
of the gay community?"

"Yeah, that guy. Well, he
claims
to be a gay guy,

but no one actually knows who he is. Could be

some sixty-year-old, straight, retired school

teacher named Molly for all we know."

Ty snorted. "Okay. So, what about him? Or

her?"

"Well, he's written a series of dating books to

go along with his column. The one I have is called

The Party Boy's Guide to Dating a Geek
. I think

it's really going to help—assuming I can make

heads or tails of this stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Well, for one thing, what kind of movie series

starts with the fourth movie, releases two more,

then waits over fifteen years to release the first

movie? And do I need to see them all in order?

Who the hell thinks of this crap? Why would

anyone bother seeing the first three if the others

were going to come out?"

"Uh, yeah. Good luck with that." Tyson's

chuckle drifted over the phone. "Well, sounds like

you've got your hands full. Go rent the movies.

That may help. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, thanks a lot," Ash grumbled even as he

added them to his Netflix queue.

"Oh, and Ash? Live long and prosper." Ash

could hear Ty still laughing as he hung up.

"Way to have my back, buddy," Ash said to the

phone. He flipped through the rest of the book, not

understanding much of it. He didn't get the

references or the humor of most of it. One thing

that did make sense was that he needed to get Fee's

contact information as soon as possible. Getting

digits was something he knew about doing. He had

a jar full of cocktail napkins, business cards, and

scraps of paper in his room. If he wanted a booty

call, he could cover his eyes, reach in, and pull out

the phone number of a ready, willing hot body.

But the hot body he wanted belonged to

someone who didn't seem to be very willing. Yet.

Since the book was putting him to sleep, he picked

up the phone and dialed his brother's number.

"Ash? Everything okay?"

"Fine, why?"

"I just figured you'd be a couple of drinks in

already. Slow night?"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, bro. I'm not

that bad."

"Okay, Ash. If you say so."

Ash's knuckles hurt from gripping the phone a

little tighter. Did everyone see him as this flighty

airhead with nothing more on his mind than the

next drink? No wonder Fee had turned him down.

"Sorry to disappoint you. I'm having a quiet

evening at home reading, if you must know."

"
You're
reading?"

"Why is everyone so shocked to hear me say I'm

reading? It is a skill I picked up somewhere

around first grade, you know."

"Hey, calm down. I'm just surprised, that's all. I

don't think I've seen you pick up a book that wasn't

required reading since middle school." Jack did

have a point. Reading was not something Ash ever

did for fun.

"Look, I was just wondering if you had Fee's

number." Ash nibbled on his lip, hoping he didn't

sound as idiotic as he felt.

"Fee? Nah. Mari's got it, but she's not home right

now. Why do you want it anyway?"

"I, uh, just wanted to check up on his hand. It

was my fault he got hurt the other day," Ash half-

truthed. He was proud he could come up with a

semi-plausible reason on the fly. Jack was quiet

for a minute, and Ash figured he was debating

whether to believe him or not.

"All I've got is his work email," Jack finally

answered.

"I'll take that," Ash said, probably a little too

quickly.

"We're not supposed to give that out. We had to

sign confidentiality agreements. I'll have Mari pass

your email and your number on to him, though, all

right?"

Ash let his breath out in a huff, blowing his