The Pastor's Wife (20 page)

Maura blinked hard a few times. “Merry Christmas.”

Fingers entwined, Nick lifted her hand to his lips. “This is the best gift you could give me.” He hesitated, a question settling in his eyes. “But you’re only wearing the engagement ring. What exactly does that mean?”

Good question. It had taken Maura a while to figure out herself. “It means I’m committed to repairing our relationship. I want to be your wife again. But—”

Nick's brow furrowed. “I hate
buts
.”

“I know,” Maura said with a laugh, “
but
, here it is … We promised the church council that until the end of six months, we’d live together platonically, like roommates.”

He pulled her hand to his chest. “I never had a roommate like you.” The low growl of his words vibrated beneath her palm.

She wanted nothing more than to throw reason and caution out the window. But at the same time, she was terrified of messing this up. “That's my point. We made a promise to the council, and I’ve got a lot of teenagers watching what I do. I don’t want to give them the wrong impression, either.”

“What impression is that? The one about it being good for a husband and wife to be together?”

She tried not to let the sarcastic bite of his statement phase her. “No,” she went on calmly, “the impression that sex fixes broken relationships.”

His eyes grew wide, and he took a step backward. “That was blunt. So what are you saying?”

“The six months will be up at the end of January. At that point, I think it would be best if I moved out of here and into the apartment over the theatre.”

Nick dropped her hand. “Exactly how does that move us forward?”

“Once we’re not living together, we can officially date and hopefully it won’t be long before I can put on the other half of this ring set.”

Maura knew her proposal didn’t make any sense to Nick. It barely made sense to her. She was already in the house, after all. If everything went the way she hoped, she’d be moving out and moving back in within a month or so. But in her heart, she knew it was the right decision. Now if only Nick would see it her way.

If only Nick would say something.

“You’re not counting, are you?”

Her question pulled a laugh out of him. Slowly, he shook his head. “No, I’m not. Just thinking. I hate to admit it, but
you’re right. This is a weird situation all the way around, isn’t it?” He stepped forward, but stopped abruptly. “Can I still hug you?”

“Please.” Maura smiled and walked up to him, arms open. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her close. It felt good to be held by him.

He looked over her head toward the oven. “What are you cooking?”

“A Christmas casserole.”

Nick leaned back, his brows raised. “A casserole? I thought you hated casseroles.”

“Think of it as a Christmas miracle. Besides, it's a recipe I got from Rachel, and there's not a noodle in it. It's eggs, onion, mushrooms, cheese … it's more like a big baked omelet.”

“I see. Well, while we’re waiting for it to finish baking, I’ve got something for you.”

He took Maura's hand and pulled her into the living room to the Christmas tree.

“Have a seat.” He motioned at the couch and knelt down, reaching beneath the tree. “Merry Christmas.”

He handed her a large box wrapped in bright green paper and sporting a big red bow. From the abundance of tape, she could tell Nick had wrapped it himself, making it all the more special. She held it for a while, relishing her first Christmas present from him.

When she couldn’t wait any longer, she tugged off the bow and ripped the paper away, uncovering a brown packing box. Pulling open the box flaps, she was greeted by the sight of Styrofoam packing peanuts and bubble wrap. She tried not to make a mess, but the peanuts overflowed the sides and spilled on the floor around her as she pulled a carefully wrapped object from the box.

Her breath caught in her chest. Nick, still kneeling on the floor, grinned like a little boy who had just caught a frog. She removed a piece of tape and slowly unwound the bubble wrap, revealing the amazing gift. The dainty teacup she held in her hand was a perfect match: white porcelain with delicate ivy leaves and vines curving and curling around the rim. It was her mother's china pattern. An exact duplicate of the cup Nick had accidentally broken so many years before.

“How did you ever find this?”

“It wasn’t easy. I called the manufacturer and found out they don’t make that pattern anymore. Thank God for eBay.”

This time, Maura didn’t even try to hold back the tears. They ran down her face, unabashed and unchecked. Nick took the cup from her hand and placed it safely on an end table. He got up from the floor and sat on the couch beside her, drawing her to him.

“I know I’ve hurt you, Maura.” His voice was low and gentle in her ear as he rocked her, stroking her hair. “I put everybody else in front of you, and I drove you away.”

The tears flowed harder now as thoughts assaulted her mind.
It's not all your fault. I haven’t told you everything. You still don’t know the whole truth.

She had to tell him. They could only start a new life together if they built it on honesty and trust. No good could come from keeping secrets. But at the same time, telling him wouldn’t change anything. It could never bring back what they’d lost. It could only serve to drive a wedge between them.

The truth hit her like a chandelier falling from the ceiling. The reason she ran, why she left without telling him the truth, wasn’t only because of her anger toward Nick. She ran because of her own failings. Her own mistakes. And her fear that if Nick found out what had really happened, he’d leave her first.

She clung to Nick, pushing the thoughts aside, not ready to deal with reality. She couldn’t tell him. Not now. They needed a fresh start, not another trip into the past. Sniffling, she pulled away, swiping the back of her hand across her eyes.

Nick took a handkerchief from his pocket and gently wiped the remaining tears from her face. “Can you forgive me?”

The simple act of service almost undid her again. But she smiled and answered, “I already have.”

He drew her back to him, and she let herself settle into the shelter of his arms. Yes, she had forgiven Nick. Now she needed to find a way to forgive herself.

A
nd one last signature here.”

Wendell Crowley pushed another piece of paper in front of Maura. She lost track of how many times she’d signed her name, but with this, the last of a seemingly unending stack of forms, Maura officially became the legal owner of the Music Box Theatre, ending the current chapter of her life.

“Very good.” Wendell picked up the document and added it to the stack on the side of his desk. “Pastor, if you’d be so kind, I need your signature here, and then we’re done.”

Excitement built within Maura as she watched Nick sign his one and only form. Just a little over seven months ago she’d sat in this room, thoroughly uncomfortable and wanting nothing more than to leave and get away from Nick. Today, she again itched to leave, but for a totally different reason.

Wendell handed Nick a check, grinning widely. “Congratulations to both of you on your inheritance. I’m sure Miss Hattie is looking down and smiling today.”

Maura held a bulging manila folder containing the deed to the theatre and copies of all the papers she’d just signed. She had what she’d worked so hard for, and Nick had his donation for the church. Obviously, Miss Hattie had wanted to see the
two of them together again, and Maura thought the woman would be happy to know she was close to getting what she wanted too.

“It's a good day for all of us,” Nick said.

“Yes, it is.” Wendell clasped his hands together in front of his chest, rocking forward on the balls of his feet. “What are your plans now, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Maura hesitated. She knew what he wanted to hear; that she and Nick were living happily ever after. She hated to disappoint Wendell, but she didn’t want to mislead him, either. “I’m moving out of the parsonage and into the apartment above the theatre.”

The frown that took over the lawyer's face was so severe Maura feared he might be in pain. “Move out? But I thought it's been going well between you.”

“It has,” Nick said. “We’re doing great. But we made some promises when Maura moved into the parsonage, and we need to keep them.”

“And we need some space while we work out the rest of our issues. But look, we’re engaged.” She felt silly calling it that, but didn’t know how else to describe their situation.

Maura wiggled her ring finger in front of Wendell and his smile rushed back.

“Fine, fine. One step at a time.” He ushered them out of his office. “Remember, I’m only a phone call away if you need anything. Now go enjoy your day.” He shut the door behind them.

Maura pushed the
down
button on the elevator, trying not to laugh.

“Engaged?” Nick asked. “How can we be engaged when we’re already married?”

“I don’t know.” A giggle bubbled from her lips. “How could we live together when we were separated? Face it, you’re in the middle of one crazy, mixed-up relationship.”

“I’ll say.” He kissed her on the forehead just as the elevator doors slid open. Shaking his head, he stepped inside the car. “It's a good thing I love you, woman.”

Maura hugged herself, pressing the folder against her chest. Yes, it was a good thing he loved her. Because now she knew she’d never stopped loving him.

“Tell me again why we’re doing this?”

Maura ran smack into Rachel who had stopped in the middle of the stairway to ask her question. Shifting the box in her arms, Maura blew out a burst of air to move the bangs drooping over her left eye.

“I’ll be happy to answer all your questions,
again
, but only after we get these boxes into the apartment.”

Rachel frowned but continued up the steps, muttering something about how she wished they’d thought to fit an elevator into the renovation budget.

Despite the fact that her leg muscles protested the many trips up and down the stairs, and her best friend thought she was nuts, happiness surged through Maura like an electric current. She and Nick were creating a strong foundation on which to build their relationship. And now that she was out of the parsonage and in her own place, they could move on to the next phase.

Once inside the apartment, the two women set their loads down and sighed almost simultaneously. Turning to Maura, Rachel put her hands on her hips. “So?”

So. Maura looked around. Eclectic furnishings filled the room along with boxes she needed to unpack. The pale yellow walls were perfectly complemented by the red, yellow, and blue plaid couch in the living room area. Paintings of
seascapes adorned the walls, reminiscent of the beaches of her childhood. Some of the items were new, some she’d bought second-hand, but she had chosen each piece with care. This was her new home. Even though she missed the idea of being around Nick as much, the thought still excited her. Finally, she had a place in Granger that was all her own.

Collapsing into a dark red, overstuffed chair, she motioned for Rachel to sit. “I don’t think there's anything I can add to what I’ve already said. You know why I had to move out of Nick's place.”

“I know why you
think
you had to move out, but I still don’t agree with you.” Rachel pushed off her tennis shoes with her toes and curled her stocking feet up under her on the couch.

Maura laid her head against the back of the chair. “Objection noted. Which makes it even nicer that you helped me out today. Thank you.”

Rachel waved the compliment away. “I’m always saying I need to get more aerobic exercise. You just saved me the trouble of taking up jogging. But don’t think you’re going to distract me. Are you and Nick getting back together or not?”

Leave it to Rachel to forgo any bush beating. There was no point in trying to dodge the subject any longer. “That's the plan.”

“So what's the point of moving you out just to move you back in again later? Although I must admit, this place is a lot homier than the parsonage.” Rachel looked around the room. “It's got your touch all over it.”

Maura smiled. Despite all the time they spent at the theatre, Rachel hadn’t been in the upstairs apartment before. Maura had purposely done most of the work herself. The only other people who’d been there were the men who installed the new carpet and kitchen tile. Now, sitting here with her first official
guest, satisfaction draped itself around Maura. The look of the place, the feel, was exactly what she wanted.

“In fact,” Rachel continued, “I can’t imagine you wanting to move out of here and back into the parsonage.”

“That would have been true before. But I’ve come to realize the house isn’t nearly as important as who's in it.” Maura believed what she said. Still, there was a piece of her that wished she and Nick could live together here, in her brand new apartment. It was about the same size as the parsonage, and since it wasn’t right next to the church, people would be less likely to drop by unexpectedly. But if Nick hadn’t wanted to offend the congregation by redecorating, he surely wouldn’t want to risk moving out altogether. And that was okay with her. She’d gotten used to the parsonage. Even the hideous tavern picture in the living room had grown on her.