The Penance of Black Betty (7 page)

              She hitched a leg up around his hip and rocked into him. He let go of her hands and grasped the backs of her thighs, lifting her. Both of her legs wrapped around his waist. Her fingers plunged into his hair, pulled his lips back to hers as he entered her. She slid up and down the wet tile wall with each of his thrusts, tearing her lips away to let out a breathless cry.

              Alistair couldn’t believe how easily she gave herself over to him, how simple it was for her to open her body and soul to him. He could love this woman so deeply, but he had to admit he missed the way she—Black Betty—challenged him. Even when Bethany had given in to him and they’d admitted their feelings, she’d still been somewhat guarded. If he hadn’t known it then, he sure as hell knew it now with the way she was stripped bare to him, literally and figuratively.

              God, she was beautiful and seemed so innocent even if he knew she was far from it. The way she moved with him, steady and gentle until she was so far gone in her craze for release, she took over and became a sex-possessed fiend. That was his new challenge from this flower, this delicate rose Bethany. To make her into an animal.

              Alistair spun them away from the wall and opened the shower door, stepping out onto the rug and lowering her onto the edge of the vanity. He placed her hands behind her. “Lean back. I want to watch you.”

              She lowered to her elbows and arched into him letting her head fall back. “Go faster and I’ll give you a show.”

              He wrapped his arms around her thighs, opening her wide. “Touch yourself,” he said, and began thrusting fast and shallow, hitting the perfect spot on her upper wall.

              Her fingers stroked and rubbed between her slick folds, circling faster as her breathless pants turned to moans. “Yes,” she whispered. “Alistair, yes! Oh, God!” Her body shook and her circling fingers slowed as he dove into her deeper, pulling her closer and leaning over her body to get as far inside her as he possibly could. Her muscles clenched his cock, pulsed around him, made it impossible to hold back any longer.

              “Fuck. Bethany…” He nuzzled his face into her neck and let the world fall away.

             
THIRTEEN

              It was blazing hot. Bethany was sweating and the sun was burning her skin. She wished she’d brought sunblock.

              She was having fun though doing the touristy things in Cozumel and forgetting everything but her time there with Alistair. They were walking around the Mayan ruins at San Gervasio where the moon goddess, Ixchel, had been worshiped.

              “The Mayan women had to make a pilgrimage here once in their lifetime,” Alistair said. He was seriously into the history of the ruins. “They made a sacrifice to Ixchel.” He pointed to the top of the big pyramid. “The idol was in there. It was hollow and made of clay with a secret door that the priest would enter and answer questions. The people really thought Ixchel was talking to them.”

              The thought of sacrifices made Bethany a little queasy. “What did they sacrifice? Please don’t say humans.”

              He shrugged. “Sometimes, but mainly birds and small animals.” He pointed to a small covered stone hut type of structure with columns. “The Mayan ruler of Cozumel lived there. Its name translates to little hands because of the red handprints on the inner walls.”

              She followed along, listening, marveling at the knowledge of the ancient Mayan site pouring from Alistair’s lips.

              An incredibly hot man was one thing. An incredibly hot actor was another. An incredibly hot, intelligent and articulate actor was on a whole different—much higher—level.

              How did she end up with this man? She couldn’t stop staring at him, his dirty blond hair glinting with golden streaks in the bright sun. His dark eyes flashing. She was suddenly struck by inspiration. “I need to leave a sacrifice,” she said, interrupting whatever he’d been saying that she’d not heard for admiring him.

              Alistair stopped and turned to her. “A sacrifice? Not me I hope.” He laughed.

              “No. Not you.” She peered around, looking for wild flowers, a uniquely shaped rock—anything. “Help me find something.”

              They walked the path around the ruins searching the ground and coming up empty. “We could buy something from the souvenir shop,” he suggested.

              “No, it has to be something special.” She didn’t know what had gotten into her, all she knew was the urgency she felt to make an offering to Ixchel.

              “Want me to catch an iguana?”

              She grinned. “Think you
can
catch one?”

              “Sure. How fast can they be?”

              Bethany hooked her arm through his. “No human
or
lizard sacrifices.”

              “Alright then. I have something.” Alistair reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver half dollar. “It has my birth year on it. My grandfather gave it to me when I was little and I’ve carried it in my pocket ever since.” He took her hand and placed the coin in her palm.

              Bethany looked down at the shiny silver half-dollar, her heart melting. “I can’t, Alistair. It’s too special to you.”

              He closed her fingers around it. “You wanted special, now you have it. And anyway, I have you. Who needs a coin in their pocket when they have a woman worth more than truckloads of coins—bank vaults filled with coins—an entire universe of coins?”

              “But, your grandfather gave it to you.”

              He waved a hand. “I was like five when he gave it to me. I’m sure he thought I’d lose it in an hour.”

              Bethany rubbed the coin with her thumb. “You didn’t lose it though. That’s why you should keep it.” She held it out to him.

              “I’m not taking it back. This moment is the reason a five year old me didn’t lose it and haven’t lost it all of these years. I needed it for right now to give to you. It’s fate. Don’t argue fate.”  He took her hand and made sure she held tight to the coin. “Now, come on. You have a sacrifice to give Ixchel.”

              Bethany loved the feel of his warm, strong, protective hand around hers, the way he insisted she take what he knew she really wanted, the way he provided for her. At the same time, she knew her feelings had to be at odds with who she’d become over the past ten years. She had an inclination that the real Bethany would hate who she’d become, or rather reverted into.

              There was no help for it though, she was who she was.

              At the base of the pyramid, Alistair pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “I’ll leave you alone with Ixchel for a couple minutes.”

              She watched him walk away and find shade under a nearby tree. He stuck his hands in his pockets and leaned against it, intentionally turning away from her. She adored how he instinctively knew she needed some space and privacy to leave her offering and ask her unanswerable questions.

              The pyramid was nothing more than a pile of crumbling ruins, but it still held a sense of majesty, of some long ago wonder. Reverence overcame her. She dropped to her knees and stared up to the very top, speaking only in her head, but certain she was heard.

             
I come to you in need of your help, IxChel.
Bethany set the silver coin on the dusty ground as an offering.
I don’t know who I am or who I’m supposed to be. I don’t know the man I’m supposed to love—his favorite foods or what he likes to do on weekends. I know nothing, but I feel like I’ve loved him for a lifetime.
She glanced over at Alistair who averted his eyes quickly, pretending he hadn’t been watching her. She couldn’t help but smile.

             
I don’t want to lose him, but I’m afraid I will if I’m not the woman he fell in love with.
She squeezed her eyes closed and forced herself to say the part she feared admitting.
But, I’m afraid of her—of the woman I was—the woman he fell in love with. She’s nobody I can comprehend being. She’s not me. I…I don’t want to be her. I don’t want her to come back. If I remember the years I’ve lost, will she take over again? How do I lose her and still be who I am today? I don’t know how to be this person—this person with no footing. I’ve lost my foundation. I don’t know how I got here, but I belong here somehow—in LA with Alistair Ingram
.

              She let out a deep sigh.
I just want to feel grounded, even if it’s by one terrible memory that I can’t begin to comprehend. I need something to put me back into my life.

              Bethany kissed her fingertips and touched the coin before getting to her feet. She felt lighter having confessed her deepest desires and fears to the goddess women for hundreds and hundreds of years had emptied their hearts to. She only hoped she’d find the peace she longed for.

             
FOURTEEN

              A man with a camera was waiting outside their cabana when they got back. Alistair put their rented Jeep in park, cringing at the thought of Bethany being dragged through the chaos of a media circus. Then the man turned and waved. Buckley. Alistair chuckled before panic set in. Buckley couldn’t mention being asked to find Trent in front of Bethany.

              “Stay here.” Alistair put a hand over Bethany’s as she was reaching for her seatbelt. “I’ll get him the hell out of here.”

              “Good. I didn’t really want to have to dart his questions or his camera,” she said and squeezed his hand.

              He got out and called, “Keep the doors locked,” before slamming his shut and striding toward Buckley who waited on the front stoop.

              “What are you doing here?” he said, stepping up to great the pap. “I didn’t exactly inform Bethany that I had someone looking for her ex.”

              “Ah, well then I won’t mention it in front of her, but I do have news to that end.” Buckley gave Alistair a pointed look. “Guy’s dead. OD’d on heroin two days ago in some underground Miami club. Seedy place. The guy had a bad rep. I talked to a few people who knew him. Nobody liked the guy and nobody was surprised he wound up dead in the men’s room either.”

              “Dead?” A hopefulness spread through Alistair that he was ashamed of since it was instigated by someone’s death. But, it was Trent, the worthless, abusive, psychotic asshole who hounded the woman Alistair loved. “Are you sure?”

              “One hundred percent. Bastard had been bragging about putting his old lady in the hospital a week ago from what I heard. Glad he’s dead.”

              Rage surged in Alistair, then subsided to relief that Trent was dead. “Hope he’s burning in Hell.” He peeled a hundred dollar bill from a wad in his back pocket and handed it to Buckley. “Get a nice dinner. When Bethany and I get back to LA I’ll reimburse your travel and we’ll talk about that exclusive.” He let out a deep breath. “Hell, I’m contemplating naming our first born Buckley.”

              They clasped hands and shook while laughing. “You don’t need to go that far,” Buckley said. “I’ve been snapping shots of you for years. You’re kind of like a friend—almost.”

              “Yeah, you’re one of the few good ones left who doesn’t interfere or infringe on my privacy. I give you a lot of shots you know.” Alistair grinned. “I slow down on the sidewalk, have a stroll around the lot when I’m on set.”

              Buckley gave him a pat on the shoulder. “You’re a good one, too. We work well together.” He winked and stepped off the stoop. “Catch you back in LA, ya bloody Brit.”

              Alistair waited until Buckley had reached the end of the walkway before waving the all clear to Bethany. Should he tell her about Trent, or let it go? Did she fear the man who’d put her in the hospital if she didn’t remember him doing it? There was plenty in her past she had to remember about him—the scars on her back were a constant reminder.

              He had to tell her. He just wasn’t sure how to bring it up.

              After they entered the cabana, Alistair insisted she take a nap. After a long day in the hot sun not long after she’d been lying in the ICU, it wasn’t a question he asked of her, it was a demand. “There,” he said, pulling the soft white sheet up to her shoulders. “I’m going to bring you a glass of ice water, too. You need to stay hydrated.”

              “Yes, sir,” she said, teasing, but her words struck him hard. She had no idea the implication of calling him sir. He’d never be her master, not even if she begged him. Part of him hoped Black Betty was gone for good. He hated that part of him, but the truth was, he liked having this woman with no past standing between them, no barriers for him to try to knock down. He missed Black Betty’s quick wit and challenging disposition at times though. But, he saw enough of her best qualities still right there inside Bethany. She wasn’t gone. She was still the same woman, just more…innocent and reserved, trusting and open.