The Penny Dreadfuls MEGAPACK™ (166 page)

“And now?”

“I am a widower.” The stranger seemed much moved, but, after a moment or so, he resumed—“I am a widower now; but how that event came about is partly my purpose to tell you. I had not married long—that is very long—for I have but one child, and she is not old, or of an age to know much more than what she may be taught; she is still in the course of education. I was early addicted to gamble; the dice had its charms, as all those who have ever engaged in play but too well know; it is perfectly fascinating.”

“So I have heard,” said Mr. Chillingworth; “though, for myself, I found a wife and professional pursuits quite incompatible with any pleasure that took either time or resources.”—

“It is so. I would I had never entered one of those houses where men are deprived of their money and their own free will, for at the gambling-table you have no liberty, save that in gliding down the stream in company with others. How few have ever escaped destruction—none, I believe—men are perfectly fascinated; it is ruin alone that enables a man to see how he has been hurried onwards without thought or reflection; and how fallacious were all the hopes he ever entertained! Yes, ruin, and ruin alone, can do this; but, alas! ’tis then too late—the evil is done. Soon after my marriage I fell in with a Chevalier St. John. He was a man of the world in every sense of the word, and one that was well versed in all the ways of society. I never met with any man who was so perfectly master of himself, and of perfect ease and self-confidence as he was. He was never at a loss, and, come what would, never betrayed surprise or vexation—two qualities, he thought, never ought to be shown by any man who moved in society.”—

“Indeed!”

“He was a strange man—a very strange man.”—

“Did he gamble?”—

“It is difficult to give you a correct and direct answer. I should say he did, and yet he never lost or won much; but I have often thought he was more connected with those who did than was believed.”—

“Was that a fact?” inquired Mr. Chillingworth.—

“You shall see as we go on, and be able to judge for yourself. I have thought he was. Well, he first took me to a handsome saloon, where gambling was carried on. We had been to the opera. As we came out, he recommended that we should sup at a house where he was well known, and where he was in the habit of spending his evenings after the opera, and before he retired. I agreed to this. I saw no reason why I should not. We went there, and bitterly have I repented of so doing for years since, and do to this day.”—

“Your repentance has been sincere and lasting,” said Mr. Chillingworth; “the one proves the other.”

“It does; but I thought not so then. The place was glittering, and the wine good. It was a kind of earthly paradise; and when we had taken some wine, the chevalier said to me—

“‘I am desirous of seeing a friend backwards; he is at the hazard-table. Will you go with me?’—I hesitated. I feared to see the place where a vice was carried on. I knew myself inclined to prudential motives. I said to him—‘No, St. John, I’ll wait here for you; it may be as well—the wine is good, and it will content me?’

“‘Do so,’ he said, smiling; ‘but remember I seldom or never play myself, nor is there any reason why you should.’—‘I’ll go, but I will not play.’—‘Certainly not; you are free alike to look on, play, or quit the place at any moment you please, and not be noticed, probably, by a single soul.’

“I arose, and we walked backwards, having called one of the men who were waiting about, but who were watchers and door-keepers of the ‘hell.’ We were led along the passage, and passed through the pair of doors, which were well secured and rendered the possibility of a surprise almost impossible. After these dark places, we were suddenly let into a place where we were dazzled by the light and brilliancy of the saloon. It was not so large as the one we left, but it was superior to it in all its appointments.

“At first I could not well see who was, or who was not, in the room where we were. As soon, however, as I found the use of my eyes, I noticed many well-dressed men, who were busily engaged in play, and who took no notice of any one who entered. We walked about for some minutes without speaking to any one, but merely looking on. I saw men engaged in play; some with earnestness, others again with great nonchalance, and money changed hands without the least remark. There were but few who spoke, and only those in play. There was a hum of conversation; but you could not distinguish what was said, unless you paid some attention to, and was in close vicinity with, the individual who spoke.

“‘Well,’ said St. John, ‘what do you think of this place?’—‘Why,’ I replied, ‘I had no notion of seeing a place fitted up as this is.’

“‘No; isn’t it superb?’—‘It is beautifully done. They have many visitors,’ said I, ‘many more than I could have believed.’

“‘Yes, they are all
bona fide
players; men of stamp and rank—none of your seedy legs who have only what they can cheat you out of.’—‘Ah!’—‘And besides,’ he added, ‘you may often form friendships here that lead to fortune hereafter. I do not mean in play, because there is no necessity for your doing so, or, if you do so, in going above a stake which you know won’t hurt you.’—‘Exactly.’

“‘Many men can never approach a table like this, and sit down to an hour’s play, but, if they do, they must stake not only more than they can afford, but all their property, leaving themselves beggars.’ ‘They do?” said I.

“‘But men who know themselves, their resources, and choose to indulge for a time, may often come and lay the foundation to a very pretty fortune.’

“‘Do you see your friend?’ I inquired.—‘No, I do not; but I will inquire if he has been here—if not, we will go.’

“He left me for a moment or two to make some inquiry, and I stood looking at the table, where there were four players, and who seemed to be engaged at a friendly game; and when one party won they looked grave, and when the other party lost they smiled and looked happy. I walked away, as the chevalier did not return immediately to me; and then I saw a gentleman rise up from a table. He had evidently lost. I was standing by the seat, unconsciously holding the back in my hand. I sat down without thinking or without speaking, and found myself at the hazard table.

“‘Do you play, sir?’—‘Yes,’ I said. I had hardly uttered the words when I was sorry for them; but I could not recall them. I sat down, and play at once commenced.

“In about ten or fifteen minutes, often losing and then winning, I found myself about a hundred and twenty pounds in pocket, clear gain by the play.

“‘Ah!’ said the chevalier, who came up at that moment, ‘I thought you wouldn’t play.’—‘I really don’t know how it happened,’ said I, ‘but I suddenly found myself here without any previous intention.’

“‘You are not a loser, I hope?’—‘Indeed I am not,’ I replied; ‘but not much a gainer.’

“‘Nor need you desire to be. Do you desire to give your adversary his revenge now, or take another opportunity.’—‘At another time,’ I replied.

“‘You will find me here the day after tomorrow, when I shall be at your service;’ then bowing, he turned away.

“‘He is a very rich man whom you have been playing with,’ said the chevalier.—”

“Indeed!”

“‘Yes, and I have known him to lose for three days together; but you may take his word for any amount; he is a perfect gentleman and man of honour.’—‘’Tis well to play with such,’ I replied; ‘but I suppose you are about to leave.’

“‘Yes, it grows late, and I have some business to transact tomorrow, so I must leave.’—‘I will accompany you part of the way home,’ said I, ‘and then I shall have finished the night.’

“I did leave with him, and accompanied him home, and then walked to my own home.”

* * * *

“This was my first visit, and I thought a propitious beginning, but it was the more dangerous. Perhaps a loss might have effectually deterred me, but it is doubtful to tell how certain events might have been altered. It is just possible that I might have been urged on by my desire to retrieve any loss I might have incurred, and so made myself at once the miserable being it took months to accomplish in bringing me to.

“I went the day but one after this, to meet the same individual at the gambling-table, and played some time with varied success, until I left off with a trifling loss upon the night’s play, which was nothing of any consequence.

“Thus matters went on; I sometimes won and sometimes lost, until I won a few hundreds, and this determined me to play for higher stakes than any I had yet played for.

“It was no use going on in the peddling style I had been going on; I had won two hundred and fifty pounds in three months, and had I been less fearful I might have had twenty-five thousand pounds. Ah! I’ll try my fortune at a higher game.

“Having once made this resolution, I was anxious to begin my new plan, which I hoped would have the effect of placing me far above my then present position in society, which was good, and with a little attention it would have made me an independent man; but then it required patience, and nothing more. However, the other method was so superior since it might all be done with good luck in a few months. Ah! good luck; how uncertain is good luck; how changeful is fortune; how soon is the best prospect blighted by the frosts of adversity. In less than a month I had lost more than I could pay, and then I gambled on for a living.

“My wife had but one child; her first and only one; an infant at her breast; but there was a change came over her; for one had come over me—a fearful one it was too—one not only in manner but in fortune too. She would beg me to come home early; to attend to other matters, and leave the dreadful life I was then leading.

“‘Lizzy,’ said I, ‘we are ruined.’—‘Ruined!’ she exclaimed, and staggered back, until she fell into a seat. ‘Ruined!’

“‘Ay, ruined. It is a short word, but expressive.’—‘No, no, we are not ruined. I know what you mean, you would say, we cannot live as we have lived; we must retrench, and so we will, right willingly.’

“‘You must retrench most wonderfully,’ I said, with desperate calmness, ‘for the murder must out.’—‘And so we will; but you will be with us; you will not go out night after night, ruining your health, our happiness, and destroying both peace and prospects.’

“‘No, no, Lizzy, we have no chance of recovering ourselves; house and home—all gone—all, all.’—‘My God!’ she exclaimed.

“‘Ay, rail on,’ said I; ‘you have cause enough; but, no matter—we have lost all.’—‘How—how?’

“‘It is useless to ask how; I have done, and there is an end of the matter; you shall know more another day; we must leave this house for a lodging.’—‘It matters little,’ she said; ‘all may be won again, if you will but say you will quit the society of those who have ruined you.’

“‘No one,’ said I, ‘has ruined me; I did it; it was no fault of any one else’s; I have not that excuse.’—‘I am sure you can recover.’

“‘I may; some day fortune will shower her favours upon me, and I live on in that expectation.’—‘You cannot mean that you will chance the gaming-table? for I am sure you must have lost all there?’

“‘I have.’—‘God help me,’ she said; ‘you have done your child a wrong, but you may repair it yet.’

“‘Never!’—‘’Tis a long day! let me implore you, on my knees, to leave this place, and adopt some other mode of life; we can be careful; a little will do, and we shall, in time, be equal to, and better than what we have been.’

“‘We never can, save by chance.’—‘And by chance we never shall,’ she replied; ‘if you will exert yourself, we may yet retrieve ourselves.’

“‘And exert myself I will.’—‘And quit the gaming-table?’

“‘Ask me to make no promises,’ said I; ‘I may not be able to keep them; therefore, ask me to make none.’—‘I do ask you, beg of, entreat of you to promise, and solemnly promise me that you will leave that fearful place, where men not only lose all their goods, but the feelings of nature also.’

“‘Say no more, Lizzy; if I can get a living elsewhere I will, but if not, I must get it there.’

“She seemed to be cast down at this, and she shed tears. I left the room, and again went to the gambling-house, and there that night, I won a few pounds, which enabled me to take my wife and child away from the house they had so long lived in, and took them afterwards to a miserable place—one room, where, indeed, there were a few articles of furniture that I had saved from the general wreck of my own property.

“She took things much less to heart than I could have anticipated; she seemed cheerful and happy—she endeavoured to make my home as comfortable as she could.

“Her whole endeavour was to make me as much as possible, forget the past. She wanted, as much as possible, to wean me away from my gambling pursuits, but that was impossible. I had no hope, no other prospect.

“Thus she strove, but I could see each day she was getting paler, and more pale; her figure, before round, was more thin, and betrayed signs of emaciation. This preyed upon me; and, when fortune denied me the means of carrying home that which she so much wanted, I could never return for two days at a time. Then I would find her shedding tears, and sighing; what could I say? If I had anything to take her, then I used to endeavour to make her forget that I had been away.

“‘Ah!’ she would exclaim, ‘you will find me dead one of these days; what you do now for one or two days, you will do by-and-bye for many days, perhaps weeks.’—‘Do not anticipate evil.’

“‘I cannot do otherwise; were you in any other kind of employment but that of gambling,’ she said, ‘I should have some hope of you; but, as it is, there is none.’—‘Speak not of it; my chances may turn out favourable yet, and you may be again as you were.’

“‘Never.’—‘But fortune is inconstant, and may change in my favour as much as she has done in others.’

“‘Fortune is indeed constant, but misfortune is as inconstant.’—‘You are prophetic of evil.”

“‘Ah! I would to Heaven I could predict good; but who ever yet heard of a ruined gambler being able to retrieve himself by the same means that he was ruined?’

“Thus we used to converse, but our conversation was usually of but little comfort to either of us, for we could give neither any comfort to the other; and as that was usually the case, our interviews became less frequent, and of less duration. My answer was always the same.