The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs (6 page)

She was right, of course. Caroline had sent her daughter into the lion's den without as much as a warning. “Fine,” she admitted. “You're right. I should've warned you. But that doesn't mean you get to punch a girl in the face.”

“What if someone had called Grandma a bitch? What would you have done?”

Caroline said nothing. She knew exactly what she would've done. Or more precisely, what she would not have done. She was suddenly, almost overwhelmingly, flushed with pride and appreciation for her daughter. Envy, too. Polly had risen up and defended her mother's honor. Even though the two could barely carry on a conversation, Polly had punched a girl in the nose because she had insulted her mother. Punched a popular girl, too.

Just as quickly, her pride and appreciation was replaced with shame. Shame for placing her daughter in this position. Shame for what she had failed to do in her own life. Shame for all that had happened as a result of her inaction.

It was that moment, that very instant, that Caroline's idea was born. The boldest, craziest idea of her life. It wasn't a fully formulated plan. It wasn't even a fully formulated idea. But it was the beginning of an idea. The spark. More than that, it was a sudden, moral imperative that Caroline could not ignore. Caroline Jacobs knew that if she didn't act now, she never would.

“C'mon,” she said, taking Polly's balled-up fist in her hand. “We're going.”

“You realize Dr. Powers is going to totally suspend me. Right? He might even expel me.”

“We're not going to see Dr. Powers.”

“What do you mean?”

“We're leaving,” Caroline said, tugging harder at her daughter's arm.

“Where are we going?” Caroline didn't answer, so Polly asked again. “Mom, where are we going?”

“Home.”

seven

“Why are we getting on the highway?” Polly asked.

Caroline said nothing.

“
Mom?
Where are we going?”

Still nothing.

“Mom!”

“Don't shout. I'm right here.”

“Then answer my question.”

“I'm going home,” Caroline said. “You're coming for the ride.”

“What do you mean you're going home? This isn't the way home.”

“Blackstone.” Saying it aloud made the plan feel a little more real. “We're going to Blackstone.”

“We're going to Grandma's house?” Polly asked. “Mom, Massachusetts is like nine hours away. Are you crazy?”

“Maybe. Yes. Probably. But we're going.”

“What are you talking about?” Polly asked. “I have to go to school tomorrow. I have soccer practice.”

“You're going to be suspended. You said it yourself.”

“This is crazy,” Polly said. “I'm not driving all the way to Massachusetts with you. Does Dad even know what you're doing?”

“I'll call him and fill him in.”

“I'm calling him right now,” Polly said, jamming her hand into her bag for her phone.

“No. Don't!” Caroline reached over to grab the phone from Polly's hand and in the process sent the car careening into the adjacent lane. A pickup swerved to avoid them.

“Jesus, Mom!” Polly shouted. “You're going to kill us!”

“Just put the phone away. I don't want you calling Dad right now.”

“Why not?”

Caroline opted for honesty. “If I call him now, he'll talk me out of going. We need to get far enough away that there's no turning back.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I just want to drive. Okay? I just want to get out of Maryland and get through Delaware. Then we can call him. Put whatever you want on the radio. Stick your earbuds in. I don't care. Just let me get some distance between us and home.”

“Are you leaving him? Are you guys getting a divorce or something?” Polly suddenly sounded worried. Hysterical, even. “Is that why you freaked out last night?”

“No, this isn't about me and your father at all. We're fine. I just need to do something he wouldn't like.”

“I don't want to go to Grandma's house,” Polly said. “Even if I'm going to be suspended, I still have a life. I can't just drive to Massachusetts in the middle of the week. Can't you please just drop me off at home first?”

“No,” Caroline said. “I want you with me.”

“I don't care what you want. I don't want to go.”

Polly was twisting the cords on her sweatshirt. It was something she did when she was nervous, something she had been doing since she was a little girl. She would twist shoelaces, napkins, sleeves, elastics, paper, and even her hair if she was nervous enough.

“You don't have a choice,” Caroline said, more sternly than she had intended. “I want you with me.”

“This sucks. Why am I here?”

Caroline stared at the road ahead. The interstate stretched to a pale blue horizon. Many horizons between them and their destination. Just let me get a few of them between us and home, she thought, and I'll be okay.

“Mom, you can't just ignore me. I'll start screaming if I have to. I'll scream my head off right in this car. This isn't fair. You can't just drag me to Massachusetts because you feel like it!”

“Listen,” Caroline finally said. “I'll explain everything to you. I promise. But can you just give me a little while to think? Let's just drive for a while. Okay?”

“I want to go home.”

“I need you to trust me. And I need you to come with me. Please.”

Polly said nothing for what felt like a long time. Caroline knew that her daughter was waiting for her to crack. She knew how uncomfortable her mother was with silence. But this time, Caroline vowed to remain quiet until Polly spoke.

“Fine,” Polly finally said. “Whatever. But this is crazy. You're crazy. First the PTO meeting and now this. You need some serious help, Mom.” She reached into her bag again and removed her phone.

“And no phones,” Caroline said. “Okay?”

“I just want to text Peyton. Tell her that my mother Patty Hearsted me.”

“Patty Hearsted you?”

“Geez, Mom. Patty Hearst? Stockholm syndrome? Are you sure you went to college?”

“Can you just put the phone away?” Caroline said. “Let this be just you and me for a while?”

As if in protest, Caroline's phone rang. Polly picked it up off the console and looked at the display. “It's the school. Dr. Powers is probably pissed that you broke me out.”

“Don't answer it. I just want to drive for a while. No phones. No texts. Just us. Okay?”

There was another protracted silence before Polly spoke again. “Fine, but you're scaring me. And pissing me off, too.”

Taking Polly out of school had made sense to Caroline. Freeing her from the clutches of Dr. Powers and his pasty-faced secretary seemed like the only thing she could do. There was no way that she was going to lead her daughter into that dingy little office and give the principal the opportunity to suspend her after she had defended her mother's honor.

But there was more to it than that. The truth was … well, Caroline didn't know what the truth was. She suspected it was a combination of several things, chief among them her desire not to be alone. Had she been heading north on her own, she probably would've turned back already. Somehow, despite Polly's protests, her presence had emboldened her. Made her feel braver than he had felt in a long time.

And she was going to need it. Caroline may have found the courage to stand up to Mary Kate Dinali. She may have had the audacity to remove her daughter from school. But returning to Blackstone and executing her plan would require a lot more courage—the kind of courage possessed by a girl who could punch a popular girl in the nose.

 

 

Mother and daughter didn't say a word for almost an hour, but the silence was welcome, at least for Caroline. It gave her a chance to decide how much of the story she would tell Polly—and how much she would not.

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the PTO meeting,” Caroline finally said, breaking the silence. They were on the New Jersey Turnpike. The sun was low on the horizon, and clouds were building in the west. “I didn't realize that it would affect you. But I should have.”

“No kidding.”

“I can't undo it,” Caroline said. “But I really feel bad about it.”

“Is it true you told Grace's mom to fuck off?”

“I really wish you wouldn't swear.”

“Mom, if you're going to kidnap me, drive me a million miles from home without letting me pack a toothbrush or a change of underwear, you could at least be straight with me. Besides, I'm only quoting you. Right?”

“I said some things last night that I shouldn't have,” Caroline admitted.

“I can't believe it. You're like a houseplant in those meetings.”

“A houseplant is stretching it a bit.”

“Yeah, right. Remember last year when you made me ask the questions about the Cape Cod tournament?”

“I know,” Caroline said. “Lay off.”

“I mean, you never talk in any meetings.”

“
I know,
” she repeated. “I get it.”

“Then why'd you do it?” Polly asked “What did Grace's mom say that turned you

into a crazy person?”

“Nothing, really. At least nothing that she hasn't said before. She was telling us how we weren't doing enough for the school. How the same people were stepping up again and again for every event.”

“That's it?”

“Yeah, I know,” Caroline said. “But then she went after this woman who didn't deserve it. A woman trying to do the best she can. I just lost it.”

“Mom, you've never lost it in your entire life. You're like the total opposite of losing it.”

“I know.”

“So what happened?”

Caroline sighed. “I don't know.”

“C'mon. It must have been something. You don't just flip your lid for nothing.”

“I just got upset. Okay?”

“Right,” Polly said, anger returning to her voice.

“What?”

Polly said nothing.

“What?” Caroline said, anger in her own voice now.

“The least you could do is tell me the truth.”

“I'm serious,” Caroline said. “I just got upset.”

“Mom, someone could be chopping your hands and feet off with a butter knife and you still wouldn't complain. I've never seen you lose your temper once. Not even with me, and I deserve it
. A lot
. I love you, but you get walked all over all the time and never say a word. You expect me to believe that some lady who acts like a bitch all the time acted like a bitch again and you lost your mind?”

Polly was right. She deserved to know. Not all of it, of course, but the beginning at least. “Fine. I'll tell you. You have the right to know.” She thought for a moment, wondering where to begin. Where to start the story of her life. “I was picked on when I was your age.”

“Big surprise.”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw your yearbook,” Polly said. “You weren't exactly cool.”

“Yeah. Well, I wasn't. But I wasn't hopeless either. You know what I mean?”

“Not really.”

“You know how there are kids who never quite fit in? They're awkward or overweight or they stutter or something like that? You know what I mean?”

“Yeah?”

“I wasn't a weird one,” Caroline said. “I just wasn't cool enough. I was shy. I was
so shy
. I still am. And I didn't have the right clothes or the right shoes. And I didn't have a lot of friends. And your grandmother didn't help the situation.”

“After Grandpa left?”

“Yeah. Your grandmother was a mess for a long time. I guess I was too.”

“And Aunt Lucy? Was this before she—”

“Around the same time. And Mom just wasn't there for me.”

“All that sucks, but what does this have to do with last night?” Polly asked

“I think that when Mary Kate was talking to us like that, I felt like she was talking to

me. It was like I was getting picked on all over again. And we were sitting in a high school cafeteria, so I think that may have escalated it. You know? Kind of like a perfect storm.”

“What did the high school cafeteria have to do with it?”

“I guess everything sort of started going downhill for me in the high school cafeteria.

It's where things went bad first. Turned me into a real outsider. And sort of turned me inside myself, too.”

“What happened?” Polly asked.

Caroline took a deep breath. “I've never told anyone this before.”

“Maybe you were waiting to tell me.”

Caroline laughed. “Maybe.” She'd held this secret in so long that it felt like a part of her. As critical to survival as her heart or lungs.

“So?” Polly said. “It's not like you're letting me talk to anyone else. And no time like the present. Right?”

“I guess.”

“Keeping secrets is actually bad for you,” Polly said. “It stresses your frontal cortex. Kind of sticks a roadblock in your brain that keeps you from moving onto other things.”

“Seriously?”

“You doubt me?” Polly asked.

“Did you learn that in school?”

“No,” Polly said. “I read it in
Forbes
.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. Now c'mon. I want to hear.”

“I can't believe I'm doing this.”

“Just shut up and talk.”

“Fine,” Caroline said. She felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff, about to plunge into a sea of freezing water. Once she began, there would be no turning back. “Her name was Emily Kaplan. We were best friends. At least I thought we were.”

“What happened?”

Caroline smiled. “Nothing good. After it happened, I tried to never think about it again. But I guess I never stopped thinking about it.”