The Perfect Indulgence (10 page)

“Uh-huh.” Eva folded her arms across her chest and peered at Chris over the rim of her red glasses. “From Zac?”

“Mmm-hmm. From him. Yes.”

“Ah. So this is ‘no big deal’ and ‘totally low-key,’ which is why your eyes are the size of quarters, fireworks are shooting out the top of your head and you can’t come up with more than two-word phrases.”

“My eyes are fine.” She squinted comically. “And it
is
no big deal. Zac just wants to hang out tonight, probably on the beach or something, just to talk.”

“Goody.” Eva grinned angelically. “Then Ames and I will come with you.”

“Oh...” She would not let her face fall. She could not. It must not.

It did.

“Ha!” Eva pointed triumphantly. “You’re busted. I was right. If this isn’t a romance, it’s sure as hell about to be. From there it’s only a matter of time till you fall completely and madly in love with him.”

8

A
S
NERVOUS
AS
she was, it was a relief when Zac’s car pulled up in front of the house and Chris could step through the front door, away from Eva’s knowing smiles, winks and questions. Sweet of her to want so badly for her sister and her best friend to fall for each other, but this relationship was definitely not going to be about love. As usual, Eva preferred her version of the world to what was right in front of her face, so no amount of explaining and/or protesting from Chris would faze her. It wasn’t even worth trying.

Now, with Zac waiting for her, the nerves were taking over, broadcasting excitement, not alarm, so she knew she was doing the right thing. Just as she knew she was doing the right thing by letting her hair fall naturally, displaying only one pair of earrings and wearing leggings and a loose shirt that were, ahem, easy to get out of.

“Hi.” She climbed into the passenger side of his Prius, thinking how much she preferred it to Bodie’s turbo testosterone.

“Hi.” He was smiling that great Zac smile that made her insides turn over. “You look fantastic.”

“So do you.” He’d changed into a white shirt and jeans, one of her favorite looks on a guy. Very sexy. But Zac could be wearing plaid overalls and she’d still want him.

He put the car in gear and moved forward. “I feel like a teenager sneaking out of the house to make it with a hot girl in the middle of the night.”

“You’re not far from it. Where are we going?” Chris tucked her tiny overnight bag at her feet and buckled her seat belt, hoping his answer didn’t contain the word
campground
.

“A friend has a friend who has a cabin about half an hour up the coast.”

“Sounds great.” Ah! Thank God, no camping. Though who knew what kind of place this cabin might be if she needed a flashlight. As long as it had a roof. And a bed. And running water. And flush toilets. And no bugs.

“How are you feeling about this?” Zac turned north onto La Playa. It was strange being in the car with him, chatting casually, driving toward a place in which they’d get naked and sweaty together for the first time.

“Nervous.” She gestured between them. “This is nothing I would have done even a couple of months ago.”

“No kidding. The drive to Connecticut would have been ridiculous.”

She broke into giggles. “I mean with any guy.”

“You’d do this with
anyone
?”

“Well, sure, of course. You just asked me first. Well, second. But Bodie was never seriously in the running.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He put his hand above her knee and squeezed. She wanted to open her thighs wide and let him explore. Feel his fingers slip under her panties and get to know her intimately.

Mmm.
She squeezed her legs tightly together, released them, squeezed again. Somewhere she’d read that women could make themselves come that way.

Lucky.

Parting her thighs a couple of inches, she leaned back, wondering if Zac would get the hint, not sure enough of herself to make it an obvious invitation. She’d never had sex with a guy she knew less about. And never imagined she could do something like this and not be freaking out.

Zac took his hand away. Apparently he didn’t get the hint. Maybe it was just as well. She probably would have caused an accident.

“So you’ve never had a casual relationship like this before?”

“Nope.” Chris surreptitiously pulled herself back up in the seat. “I’ve always been a boyfriend-and-girlfriend dater. What about you?”

“I’ve been in relationships I knew wouldn’t last forever, but not like this.”

Chris frowned. For some reason she’d assumed he did this all the time. “Why did you suggest it with me?”

“It seemed to fit us.”

“Because you’ll be going to graduate school and I’m moving back to New York soon?”

“More or less.”

She frowned harder. Strange answer. Especially since Zac was usually very precise. “If you didn’t have much time with a woman, but felt seriously about her, would you still want the relationship to stay casual?”

He glanced over, then back at the road. “If I had serious feelings and thought they had any hope of being returned, nothing would keep me from trying for forever.”

“Oh.” Aanother of those crazy deep-down thrills. The idea of Zac letting nothing stop him from going after a woman... A traitorous part of her wanted to be that woman, to have the experience of meaning so much to someone that he’d sacrifice anything.

Stop. No.
Chris needed to live in this moment, not in some theoretical one. Besides, that kind of reckless passion wasn’t her style. “Have you ever been that in love?”

He sent her one of his amused looks. “These are some pretty intimate questions.”

“I’m getting to know you.”

“Yeah? Is that necessary for what we’re doing?”

The question shocked her. Was that what he wanted? For the sex to be as anonymous as possible? She’d expect that from Bodie or Gus, but not Zac. “Not necessary, no. But not bad.”

He maneuvered around a sharp curve, and she swore he was looking smug. What was with this guy and the smugness?

“To answer your question, I did think I was in love once. A woman I dated for four years after college and before I joined the Peace Corps. But when things turned bad I knew it wasn’t the real thing.”

“Why, you think love lasts forever?”

“I do.”

From anyone else, the naïveté would seem absurd. But in that masculine voice, spoken with deep conviction, the belief carried weight. “What about all the people who get married and then grow apart? You’re saying they were never in love?”

“I think you can make a mistake, yes. Infatuation can be so strong and so convincing that people rush into marriage. Most divorcing couples I know have pretty clear hindsight about why they weren’t compatible.”

“You’re a romantic.”

“I am.” He wasn’t apologizing.

“But you’re okay with casual sex.”

“Casual sex can be very romantic.”

She frowned. “I never thought of it that way.”

“Really?” He glanced at her. His hand found her thigh again. “I’ve been thinking of sex with you that way.”

“You have?” Chris opened her thighs a bit wider, a smile hovering on her lips. She really liked this new calm Chris. The first time she had sex with her last boyfriend, she’d been giggly and stupid with nerves, half wishing she was curled up alone in a quilt watching TV with a mug of hot cocoa. The Peace, Love and Joy Center was the best thing that had ever happened to her. California was the best thing that had ever happened to her. “Tell me more about that.”

Zac’s smile widened. Her mind raced ahead. In these fantasies of his was she bent over the arm of his couch? Naked on the beach with her legs spread wide? Straddling him in his bed? Kneeling in front of him with her mouth around his—

“I like thinking of you on the beach, sun lighting your face, laughing, your energy flowing, but relaxed, loose and free. I imagine you not worrying about anything or anyone, even yourself.”

Chris turned to stare at him. A sweet, melty ache started in her chest. “That’s it?”

“What?” He glanced over at her, back at the road. “You don’t like it?”

“No, it’s wonderful.” Her voice came out throaty and low. “Just not what I expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“Oh, something like...me naked and hog-tied.”

“Wow.” He gave a short burst of laughter. “Actually, I could work with that. But I wouldn’t classify that fantasy as romantic.”

“I guess not. Honestly, the whole romantic thing isn’t that important to me. I’m more concerned with respect and compatibility than grand gestures and passion in a relationship.” Her words hung in the air, pompous and dull. She shifted in the seat, stomach tightening. Was that even true anymore? Had it ever been?

“Chris.” His hand landed on her thigh again, voice dripping with sympathy. “I’m so sorry.”

Chris giggled, her stomach relaxing again. She pitched her voice to a prissy chirp. “I believe it’s only sensible to wait for sex until mutual respect is cemented, a minimum of sixteen years.”

“Ha!” He looked at his watch. “How about sixteen minutes?”

“Okay.” She spoke in her natural voice again. “Sorry about that flashback to Old Chris. I didn’t realize how horrible I was.”

“Not horrible. Afraid.”

She waved him away. “No, no, not fear, a block.”

“Uh-huh. And those are different because...”

“Oh.” Chris grimaced. “You’re right, those are the same thing. Either way, I’ve been boring my whole life.”

“Trust me, you are not that.”

“Not anymore.” She opened her thighs wide this time, no mistaking her meaning, and leaned back in the seat, thrusting up her pelvis. “California, here I come.”

Zac inhaled sharply. The car swerved. “Holy—”

He brought the Prius back under control, then his hand took the trip she’d been hoping for, lazily stroking her inner thigh, getting closer with each back-and-forth until his pinky brushed against her sex through the thin material of her pants.

Oh. My.

Just that light touch set her whole body on fire. If he did it again she was going to lose control and beg.

He did it again. A firmer touch this time, with an even more powerful effect. Chris let herself feel it all, head lolling against the seat, too overcome with passion to hold it up.

Zac’s fingers settled into a regular rhythm. She whispered his name breathlessly, clutching his forearm. He continued rubbing lightly back and forth over her clitoris until she was panting and close to coming.

No, no, this wasn’t the time. “You should probably stop now.”

“Why?” He didn’t.

“Because...” She could barely get the word out. “I’m going to come in the car.”

His low chuckle pierced the fog in her brain. “That’s kind of the idea.”

Chris closed her eyes, blushing in the darkness. “I just meant...I want to come with you later.”

“Chris...” He paused his hand. “You can do that, too.”

“No, but I mean...” She was about to explain to him that she only came once a session, but two things happened. One, it occurred to her that she might not have had the most thrilling sex partners, since she tended to go for men as cautious and controlled as she was, and two, his fingers started in again, and the arousal that had slowly started to recede came roaring back.

“Let it go, Chris.” His voice was low and gentle, as if he felt he had to reassure her that her head would not, in fact, blow out the car roof. “Come for me.”

Oh...oh...oh...
She flung her arms over her head, pressing back into the seat, letting out a shrill cry that instantly embarrassed her. The orgasm hit hard and fast, sweeping her along on a sharp rush that peaked and hung before it let her down on the other side.

Zac cursed under his breath, swung the car off the road and jammed it into Park. His seat belt flew off. Hers went next.

The next few minutes were an increasingly frantic and comical series of thuds and
ow
and
sorry
and
I can’t quite reach
and
no, that won’t work, either
until they both burst out laughing, Chris with her pants hanging around one ankle, leg cramping up on the dashboard, Zac draped across the middle of the car, unable to get his long legs out from under the wheel.

He fell back on the seat, breathing hard. “I give up.”

Chris gave a last giggle. “Epic fail.”

“We’ll do better inside.” His hands clamped her cheeks, he brought her face close. The kiss was long and lingering, with a touch of sweetness that made her feel a little unsteady, even sitting down.

Zac leaned back, buckled his seat belt and backed up a few feet, before swinging sharply left across the road.

“Are we turning around?”

“Nope.” He drove straight toward the coast, headlights revealing a driveway. “Cabin’s right here.”

“This is it?” She paused from re-dressing to peer out the window. “We were stopped right opposite?”

“You have no idea how hot you looked.” His voice was deep and growly. “I couldn’t even wait thirty seconds.”

“Oh.” Chris smiled at his profile and ran a hand through his thick hair, still amazed at how comfortable she felt with him. She wasn’t one of those women who could come at the drop of a hat, and here she’d climaxed for the first time with him in a moving car with all her clothes on. “Sorry it didn’t work out.”

“I should have known I’m too big to have sex in a Prius.”

“Yes, you are.”
Yum.
She liked that about him.

They bumped along on the rutted dirt road for about a hundred feet until the headlights picked up the glint of windows. Chris’s jaw dropped. “That’s a
cabin
? I was expecting a tin shack. Maybe logs.”

“She said cabin. I’d call that a house.” He put the car in Park and hopped out, coming around like a gentleman to help Chris, who was already out, bag slung over her shoulder, clutching her flashlight and gazing up at what looked to her like a villa.

“Wow. That is some place. How many bedrooms do—”

She was suddenly backed up against the car and Zac was kissing her as if he’d been barely holding back the entire drive up, his body large and warm against hers.

“—you think it has?” She was breathless, laughing. She liked Zac’s hidden caveman impetuous streak. He’d always seemed so completely controlled.

“There are four bedrooms. I vote we baptize all of them.”

Chris tsked. “Think of all that laundry.”

Oh, God. Did she really just say that?

“Actually, Chris.” He let his hand trail down her cheek. “I’m thinking of a few other things.”

“You’re right, you’re right. It’s a lot more than just laundry.” Chris grimaced. “Let me get my calendar, because we’ll need to schedule a
full
cleanup session after every—”

Her sentence ended in a shriek because she was suddenly hanging over his shoulder, being carried resolutely toward the front door, the glow of his flashlight wavering on the gravel drive.

Her giggles came out as if she were twelve instead of twenty-eight. This was crazy and silly and she
loved it
.