The Perfect Ingredient (Dare Valley) (26 page)

The hurt around her heart started receding, replaced by the sudden urge to cry. “So you didn’t mean anything by your
old friends and nothing more
comment?”

He rubbed the bridge of his nose, and she finally saw how tired he was. “Of course not. I was trying to herd Twitter cats, Elizabeth, not make a romantic proclamation. And we
are
old friends. Just a heck of a lot more than that. I love you, dammit, and I’ve never felt that way about a woman. When you pushed me away today—like you were scared of me—I thought I’d lost you all over again.”

Her heart swelled. He loved her. Now. As Elizabeth. Even after today. “Oh, Terrance.”

“Hey,” he said softly, pulling her against him. “I’m sorry you thought I meant anything by that. I just…I didn’t know how else to try and defuse the situation. I didn’t mean to hurt you or scare you. God, Elizabeth. Tell me we’re okay. I’m dying here.”

He smelled like grill smoke and musk as she pressed her face into his chest. His arms were warm and comforting. While the night sounds surrounded them, she let herself settle into his embrace.

“I was scared I’d misread you again,” she whispered. “I couldn’t…think in that moment on the street. I just wanted to get away and be safe.”

“I can understand that, but I won’t lie—it hurt. God! I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I’d never hurt you.”

“I know that,” she whispered.

His eyes lifted, and inside them she saw the vulnerability of a usually confident man plagued with doubt. “Do you?”

“Yes. And once I was able to process what happened, I realized how much you held back your temper.”

He edged back and cradled her face in his hands. “It wasn’t easy for me. Just like you were fighting years of wanting to be safe, I was fighting years of wanting to intimidate someone with my fists. Maybe we can keep working on our old patterns together. Just don’t…shut me out like that. I thought I’d lost you.”

“I’m still here, Terrance,” she said, kissing his jaw, trying to soothe him through touch—something they’d always used to express these jagged emotions no words could capture.

“Elizabeth. I gave you a key to my house and told you to bring whatever you wanted here. I’ve never done that with another woman.”

Her nod was perfunctory because her throat had closed with emotion. “I love you. I’m sorry I was too afraid to say it before.”

There was a gleam in his eyes when he met her gaze, as if the moonlight was radiating from them.

“Thank God. I wasn’t sure…you’d ever say it.” Those quiet words sounded almost sacred, like he was speaking from the top of a great mountain or in an ancient cathedral in Europe.

Her hands clenched the rigid muscles of his back. “Terrance, other than Jane and Rhett, no one’s ever loved me. And after everything with Vince and my parents…I didn’t believe I could love anyone romantically. Trusting a man with myself seemed like the biggest mistake I could ever make.”

His chest rose as he took a deep breath. “Vince? Is that his name?”

“Yes,” she said, feeling a cold wind hurl through her now.

“You’re shaking. Come inside with me.”

Nestled against his chest, he led her into his house. “How about I make a fire?” he asked her, settling her on the couch, kneeling at her feet, and reaching for the Irish throw and covering her.

“That would be fine,” she responded, her muscles locked in the shivering and tensing rhythm of fear.

“What about a glass of wine?”

She knew what he was doing. He was trying to make it easier for her to tell him more about events he knew were painful for her.

“Okay.”

He kissed her cheek as he stood and prepared the fire. As the kindling started to catch, the wood popping and hissing now, she gazed into the flames. Orange and blue. So beautiful. Creation and destruction in the same element. Like life, it seemed. Her life. The image of the phoenix came to her again. Because of Vince, Liz Parenti had met Rhett and become Vixen. Everything she’d worked toward at Harvard had been destroyed. The journey she’d taken since hadn’t been what she’d expected, but it had been what she needed. Now she needed to decide how the story was going to continue with Terrance in her life. And in her heart.

When Terrance returned with a glass of wine, she gripped the stem as he sipped what smelled like bourbon.

“Talk to me,” he simply said and held out his hand.

She held it while she told him, sparing nothing this time. Every painful detail came out into that quiet firelight and was burned away, sealing the old wounds that needed healing.

A few tears rolled down her cheeks, and he set their drinks aside and squeezed her hand, never taking his gaze from hers.

From the hard line of his jaw, she knew he was becoming more and more upset as the words continued to tumble out of her raw throat. But he said nothing.

For that she was glad.

When she finished, she rubbed that delicate line of flesh under her jaw, the one Vince had wrapped his hands around once, squeezing so hard she’d thought he was going to kill her.

“Oh, God,” she said, overcome.

“Come here,” Terrance whispered and pulled her onto his lap, rocking her back and forth as his touch finally forced the chill from her bones, something the fire hadn’t been able to do alone.

“Have I ever told you how amazing you are?” he asked moments later. “To go through all that and survive? And not just survive, but triumph? I’m…overwhelmed by you. God, Elizabeth.”

Her eyes squeezed shut. More tears spilled down her cheeks. “But I’m still so scared sometimes. I don’t feel like I’ve…overcome it.” Hadn’t she run again today?

“You’re being too hard on yourself. Things like that stay with you.” His exhale had a jagged edge to it. “I still get sick to my stomach if I hear a baseball connect with a bat. Do you know why? Because a kid in my neighborhood took one to my friend’s head one day when we were fourteen. He didn’t die, but he was never the same again. Everyone has something they have a hard time getting over, Elizabeth.”

Even Terrance. The thought soothed her. He seemed so much stronger than she was.

“Ryan has been bothering me,” she said, returning to today’s events. “We went out once, and I tried to be nice, but he’s just one of those guys who keeps asking for another chance. I don’t think he’s violent, but he scares me. I’ve been afraid of what he might do if I’m too assertive.”

His rocking motion turned more jerky, and she could feel the powerful emotion he was restraining. “You don’t need to worry about him anymore. I promise.”

She knew he was trying to be encouraging, but his vow to protect her scared her too. He was capable of hurting others if it meant protecting her. The thought turned her stomach.

“I know it’s not fair to ask you this, but I don’t want you to hurt anyone for me. Ever.”

He leaned back to gaze at her. The fire lit his tense features. “I know you don’t, and I understand that. Today was really hard for me, but I reined in my temper. The best I can promise you is to keep trying.”

“Thank you.”

His arms drew her closer, and he nestled his face into her neck. “Oh, Elizabeth. I’m dying here.”

Now it was she who needed to soothe him, soothe all of the violent places that had been triggered for him today. She cupped his jaw and kissed him gently on the lips.

“Be with me.”

His mouth was soft on hers as he lowered her to the couch, the fire warming them both. As they touched each other with a new reverence, the firelight flickered over them, pressing away the darkness. Her blood beat strong in her body with wanting of him. Her heart pounded with love for him.

When she took him into her core, the strong, muscular lines of him cresting over her like the powerful waves of the ocean, she surrendered. Laid herself bare.

And let him take her home.

Chapter 29

Terrance woke to the insidious chirping of a bird outside. Elizabeth was pressed against him, her backside nestled against his hips, her blond hair cascading across his chest.

The vulnerable line of her shoulder drew his gaze. All of that velvet white skin. He pressed a gentle kiss there, not wanting to wake her. Last night had been so emotional for both of them. Even now, hours later, Terrance wanted to take Vince apart with his hands. Hurt him like he’d hurt the woman he loved.

It was probably a good thing he didn’t know the guy’s last name yet. She hadn’t shared it. All she’d said was that he was from a powerful family, and because her voice sounded hoarse and tear-clogged, he hadn’t asked questions. Just listened. That’s what she needed from him.

And if he were being honest, he’d needed to keep a lid on the raging emotions inside him. It had been a long time since he’d wanted to call up his old street pals and beat the shit out of someone. He’d wanted to punch Ryan.

Now Vince. Well, he deserved a beating.

Terrance knew the difference. He’d given and received both.

He was amazed Rhett had refrained from doling out his own brand of justice after finding out the truth. They would have to talk about that.

She stirred and stroked the arms he had around her, as attuned to him as he was to her. Something had happened last night. Saying
I love you
to another person changed everything. He wanted to fight her battles. He wanted to cheer her on. He wanted to talk with her and laugh with her every day. He wanted to lose himself in her arms.

“You’re awake,” she said, shifting in his arms so she could turn onto her side and face him.

“Hey,” he said, cupping her nape and kissing her gently on the lips.

Sleep hadn’t cleared from her eyes, and he could feel the hollowed out fatigue in her. They’d come together twice more after going to bed, each seeking the other as an anchor. Every touch had been filled with reassurance and acceptance, something words were too inadequate to convey.

As he leaned back and met her gaze, peace suffused him, almost like there was no beginning or end to the moment.

She was his.

And everything was well.

Then a new knowledge rolled through him, one he’d been waiting so many years for, one he’d searched the globe for.

Elizabeth
was his perfect ingredient.

As she snuggled close to him, running her hand down his forearm, the awareness tore through his system. For a man whom cooking had saved, he’d figured it would be some exotic spice, some rare, hand-picked delicacy. Something like Manny and his grandmother had discovered.

Not a woman. Never a woman.

And yet it was
this
woman.

“Elizabeth.”

As if sensing his mood, she pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw and used her palms to push him onto his back.

“Let me love you,” she breathed against his lips.

His eyes closed as he gave her his surrender. Let her trail her fingers in all of the spots she knew he loved. When she traced his tattoos, he could see them in his mind’s eyes. The griffins that had given him the courage and wisdom to survive the streets and make something of himself. The Chinese letters that defined his credo.

Her mouth was warm and soft as she kissed his skin, not rushing. No, she was taking care with him, cementing all of these new emotions into his skin.

He groaned when she went lower, and his hips started to rise in anticipation. But he didn’t want to come that way. Not without her.

“I want to be inside you,” he said on a groan.

Edging away, she sat on his thighs to take him into her. As he slid deep, so deep, she took his hands in her own and brought them to her breasts. Even with his eyes still closed, he knew their shape and weight, how to touch and caress them so her head would fall back in pleasure. Everything in him was sensation mixed with love, and it was more potent than the best meal of his life, the one that had changed everything.

He’d been eighteen at the time.
Coquilles St-Jacques,
a traditional French recipe for poached scallops, was the most daring thing he’d ever made, and it had amazed him that he, a kid from nothing and nowhere, could make a gourmet dish like that. It was the first time he remembered feeling proud of himself. And it had filled him with hope that his life could be more, that
he
could be more.

Being with Elizabeth gave him a peace he’d never before experienced, one that filled up the hollowness that had always been a part of him.

And something even more powerful—the hope for a future together.

He opened his eyes, needing to see her. The lush curves of her body fired his blood, but it was seeing the way that familiar blond hair trailed down her breasts, strands sticking to her full mouth, that filled his heart like an overstuffed pastry bag.

“I love you,” he whispered, the words still so shockingly new and mind-blowing.

Her slender throat moved as she swallowed. Yes, the words were new to her too, both the giving and receiving of them.

She undulated in a motion that ripped his control to shreds, taking him deeper. “I love you too.”

Their hands joined as she started to move in the exact way he needed, and he met her in a way designed to heighten her passion. After they came again together, he drew her onto his chest, keeping them joined, feeling the combined force of their heartbeats, an echo of the passion and love they’d shared.

Like they had the night before, they held each other, not needing words. Soon she rose onto her elbow. “You need to get to work.”

That was the last thing he wanted to do right now, after everything that had passed between them. Still, he turned his head to glance at her clock on the nightstand like a responsible adult. “How about I make us breakfast before I leave?” It was only ten thirty.

“Sounds like a plan. Do you want to shower first?”

He raised a brow. “Any reason we can’t shower together?”

That swollen mouth curved. “You can’t seem to keep your hands off me.”

His hand stroked the smooth round of her behind. “You’re the same way with me, but I see your point. Let me grab a quick shower. You can start the coffee.” There was reluctance in his voice, prompting an enticing smile from her.

“Deal.” She pressed a kiss to his lips, and he had to admit he really liked the softness of the gesture.