The Perfect Lover (11 page)

The certain knowledge that she’d never been kissed before rocked Simon; the powerful urge to seize that raced through him in response shocked him to his core. He shackled it, refused to let it show—not in his lips, not through his fingers, not through the slow, mesmerizing play of his tongue.

She tasted of nectar, of warm peaches and honey. Of summer and goodness, fresh and untouched. He could have happily kissed her for hours, yet . . . he didn’t want to stop at just a kiss.

He’d backed her against the wall; he leaned one forearm on the cool stone, muscles bunching, fist clenching as he fought the urge to take advantage. To step closer yet, to press against her, to feel her silk-clad curves against him.

She was tall, long-legged; the impulse to confirm how well they would fit, the driving desire to soothe his aroused body with at least the touch of hers burned hot and strong. Along with an urgent need to fill his palms with her breasts, to duck his head and with his lips follow the tantalizing trail of her pearls to their end.

But this was Portia. Not even in the heady instant when he tried to break the kiss and she straightened, following his lips with hers, wanting more, and he sank back into her mouth, now freely—unreservedly—offered, did he forget who she was.

The conundrum was there, from the very first clear in his mind, mocking, jeering at the desire that rose so swiftly for her.

Every minute he indulged—indulged her, indulged himself—sent the price he would pay for ending the interlude soaring.

But end it he must. They’d been gone from the ballroom too long.

And this was Portia.

The effort to end the kiss and lift his head left him reeling. He lowered his hand from her face, lowered his arm, simply stood, waiting for the desire thundering through his veins to subside to a safe level. Watched her face as her lids fluttered, and rose.

Her eyes glittered darkly; a flush tinged her pale cheeks—it wasn’t a blush. She blinked, searched his eyes, his expression.

He knew she would read nothing—nothing she would know to recognize—in the graven lines of his face. In contrast, he could see the thoughts tumbling through her mind, mirrored in her expression.

No shock—he hadn’t expected it; surprise, curiosity, a thirst to know more. An awakened, intrigued awareness.

He drew a deep breath, waited a moment more until he was sure she was steady on her feet. “Come—we have to get back.”

Taking her hand, he turned and drew her with him, back around the corner, onto the main terrace.

There were two couples at the far end, but otherwise the terrace was deserted. He set her hand on his arm; they continued toward the ballroom in silence.

The French doors were near; he was thanking his stars she’d been sufficiently distracted to hold her tongue—he wasn’t up to any discussion, not at that moment—when he heard voices.

Portia heard them, too. Before he could stop her, she stepped to the balustrade and looked over, down to the path below.

He tugged, but she didn’t move. Something in her stillness alerted him. He moved to her side and looked down, too.

Hissed whispers floated up to them. Desmond stood with his back to the terrace wall. Kitty stood before him, clinging, her arms wound about his neck.

Desmond, rigid, was struggling to put her from him.

Simon glanced at Portia; she met his gaze.

They turned and strolled back into the ballroom.

What Kitty was up to, what she hoped to achieve with her outrageous behavior, Portia could not fathom; it was simply beyond her. She put it from her mind—she had far more important matters to ponder.

Such as the previous evening’s kiss.

Her first loverlike kiss—hardly surprising it so fascinated her. As she walked the gardens in the cool of the morning, she replayed the moment, relived the sensations, not just of Simon’s lips on hers but of all that had risen in response. The prickle of her nerves, the rush of blood beneath her skin, the welling urge to indulge in much greater physical closeness. No wonder other ladies found the activity addictive; she could almost kick herself for her previous disinterest.

She had certainly wanted more last night; she still did. And despite her inexperience, even despite his experience, she couldn’t help suspect—feel—that Simon had felt the same. If the opportunity had been there . . . instead, they’d had to return to the ballroom.

Once back among the dancers, they’d exchanged not a word about the interlude, or indeed, much else; she’d been too consumed with thinking about it, and he, presumably, had seen no reason to comment. She’d eventually retired to her bedchamber, her bed; the remembered sensation of his lips on hers had followed her into her dreams.

This morning, she’d risen, determined to embrace the experience and go forward. But rather than face Simon over the breakfast table before she’d had a chance to decide on her direction, she’d elected to take breakfast with Lady O in her room.

Lady O’s blithe comments on the propensity of gentlemen and their natures, peppered with elliptical allusions to the physical aspects of male-female relationships, had only made her more determined to sort out her own mind on the subject and decide how to go on.

Which was why she was walking alone in the gardens.

Trying to decide on the importance of a kiss. On how much significance to attach to her response.

Simon had given no indication that he found kissing her any different from kissing another. She wrinkled her nose as she headed down one of the lawn walks; she was too realistic not to acknowledge that he had to be an expert, that there were sure to be legions of ladies he’d kissed. Yet . . . she felt fairly certain he would kiss her again, if the opportunity presented.

That much, she felt comfortable with, reasonably sure. The path to the temple lay ahead; without conscious thought, her feet took her in that direction.

Her own route ahead was much less clear. The more she thought of it the more she felt at sea. Literally, as if she’d set out on a voyage on some fathomless ocean and then discovered she had no notion how to navigate, no map.

Would the next time she was kissed feel the same? Or had last night’s reaction been because it was the first time? Would she have felt the same if another gentleman had kissed her? If Simon were to kiss her again, would she feel anything at all?

To get right to the heart of the matter, was how she felt when a given gentleman kissed her even relevant?

The answers were hidden beneath a miasma of inexperience. Straightening her shoulders, she lifted her head—she would simply have to experiment and find out.

Decision taken, she felt much more positive. The temple appeared before her, a small marble folly with Ionic columns. It was surrounded by lush flower beds; as she started up the steps, she noticed a gardener, a youngish man with a thick thatch of black hair, weeding one of the beds. He glanced up at her; she smiled and nodded. He blinked, looking rather uncertain, but politely nodded back.

Portia stepped up to the marble floor of the temple—and immediately realized why the gardener had looked uncertain. The temple was filled with words—an altercation. If she’d been paying attention she would have heard it before she climbed the steps. The gardener would be able to hear every word. In the quiet of the garden, he could hardly help it.

“Your behavior is
unconscionable
! I did not bring you up to comport yourself in such a manner. I can’t
conceive
what you think to achieve by such appalling displays!”

The melodramatic tones belonged to Mrs. Archer. The words rose up from where Portia assumed a seat was set on the outside of the temple, overlooking the view. Within the temple, the words echoed and grew.

“I want excitement in my life!” Kitty declared in ringing tones. “You married me to Henry and told me I’d be a lady—you painted the position of his wife in glowing colors! You led me to believe I’d have everything I’d ever want—and I haven’t!”

“You can’t possibly be so naive as to imagine all in life will be precisely as you dream!”

Portia was glad someone was saying what needed to be said, but she had absolutely no wish to overhear it. Silently, she turned and went back down the steps.

As she gained the path, she heard Kitty reply in hard, harsh tones, “More fool I, I believed you. Now I’m living the reality—do you know he wants us to live
here
for most of the year? And he wants me to give him
children
?”

The last was said as if Henry had asked her to contract the plague; stunned, Portia hesitated.

“Children,” Kitty went on, scorn dripping. “I’d lose my figure. I’d bloat and swell and no one would look at me! Or if they did, they’d shudder and look the other way. I’d rather be
dead
!”

Something close to hysteria screamed in the words.

Portia shivered. Refocusing, she saw the gardener; their gazes met. Then she lifted her head, drew breath. The gardener returned to his bedding plants. She walked on.

Frowning.

Reemerging onto the main lawn, she saw Winifred, like her, idly ambling. Thinking it wise to ensure Winifred did not amble to the temple, she changed course and joined her.

Winifred smiled with easy welcome. Portia smiled back. Here, at least, was someone she might learn from.

After exchanging greetings, by mutual accord they turned toward the lawn walks leading to the lake.

“I hope you don’t think me unforgiveably forward,” she began, “but I couldn’t help noticing . . .” She glanced at Winifred’s face. “Am I right in assuming there’s some degree of understanding between you and Mr. Winfield?”

Winifred smiled, then looked ahead. After a moment, she said, “It would perhaps be more realistic to say we’re considering some degree of understanding.” Her lips curved; she glanced at Portia. “I know that sounds very timid, but, indeed, I suppose I am that, at least when it comes to marriage.”

Portia saw the chance and seized it with both hands. “I know just what you mean—indeed, I feel the same.” She caught Winifred’s gaze. “I’m at present considering marriage—in general at this point—and have to confess there’s much I don’t understand. I’ve left it late for entirely selfish reasons, because of my absorption with other things in life, so now I find myself somewhat at a loss, and not as informed as I ought to be. However, I imagine you’ve had much more experience . . . ?”

Winifred grimaced, but her eyes were still easy, her expression gentle. “As to that, indeed, I have had more experience, in a way, but I fear it is not the sort to assist any other lady in understanding.” She gestured. “I’m thirty, and still unwed.”

Portia frowned. “Forgive me, but you’re wellborn, well dowered by my guess, and not unattractive. I imagine you’ve had many offers.”

Winifred inclined her head. “Some, I grant you, but not many. I have not encouraged any gentleman to date.”

Portia was at a loss.

Winifred saw it and smiled wrily. “You’ve favored me with your confidence—in return I will give you mine. You do not, I take it, have a very lovely younger sister? In particular, a highly acquisitive younger sister?”

Portia blinked; an image of Penelope, spectacled and severe, rose in her mind. She shook her head. “But . . . why . . . ? Kitty has been married for some years, has she not?”

“Oh, indeed. But, unfortunately, marriage has not dampened her desire to seize whatever might come to me.”

“She”—Portia searched for the word—“
poached
your suitors?”

“Always. Even from the schoolroom.”

Despite the revelation, Winifred’s expression remained calm, serene—resigned, Portia realized.

“I’m not sure,” Winifred continued, meeting Portia’s eyes, “that in truth I shouldn’t be grateful. I would not wish to marry a gentleman so easily led astray.”

Portia nodded. “Indeed not.” She hesitated, then ventured, “I mentioned Mr. Winfield—he appears to have remained constant in his regard for you despite Kitty’s best efforts.”

The glance Winifred threw her was uncertain; for the first time, Portia glimpsed the lady behind the quiet mask who’d suffered consistent disappointment at her sister’s hands. “Do you think so?” Then Winifred smiled, wry again; her mask slipped back into place. “I should tell you our history. Desmond met the family in London some years ago. At first, he was greatly taken with Kitty, as most gentlemen are. Then he discovered she was married, and transferred his attentions to me.”

“Oh.” They’d reached the end of the walk. After standing for a moment, looking down toward the lake, they turned and headed back toward the house. “But,” Portia continued, “doesn’t that mean Desmond’s been pursuing you for some years?”

Winifred inclined her head. “About two.” After a moment, she somewhat diffidently added, “He told me he retreated from Kitty as soon as he’d drawn close enough to see her for what she is. Only later did he learn she was married.”

Fresh in Portia’s mind was the scene she’d witnessed below the terrace the night before. “He does seem . . . quite stiff with Kitty. I’ve seen no indication that he would welcome the opportunity to further any interest with her—quite the opposite.”

Winifred looked at her, studied her face, her eyes. “Do you think so?”

Portia met her gaze. “Yes. I do.”

The emotion—the hope—she glimpsed in Winifred’s eyes before she looked away made her feel unexpectedly good. Presumably that was what Lady O felt when she meddled to good effect; for the first time in her life, Portia could see the attraction.

They walked on. She glanced up; the sight of the two male figures coming toward them abruptly recalled her to her own situation.

Simon and James strolled up. With their usual polished charm, they greeted both her and Winifred. Surreptitiously, Portia studied Simon, but could detect no change in his demeanor, sense nothing specific in his attitude toward her—no hint of what he thought about their kiss.

“We’ve been dispatched to fetch you,” James said. “There’s a picnic on. It’s been decided luncheon will taste much better in the ruins of the old priory.”

“Where is this priory?” Winifred asked.

“To the north of the village, not far. It’s a pretty place.” James gestured expansively. “A perfect place to eat, drink, and relax in the bosom of the countryside.”