The Perfect Mess (8 page)

Chapter 12

Can a smell be addictive?
Ben wondered as he rubbed his nose in Landon’s hair. The alarm on Ben’s phone buzzed and he cursed silently as he swiped his phone off the bedside table. He couldn’t snooze again, as a rule, he was only allowed two. He shut off the alarm and took one last deep breath, savoring Landon’s scent and warmth before he had to get up. Ben shifted his shoulders and hips and Landon grumbled incoherently before rolling away. Ben dropped a light kiss on his shoulder and smiled as a soft hum drifted from Landon then Ben carefully slid from the bed.

Despite the fact that it was the sixth morning in a row that he’d woken up in Landon’s bed, Ben still couldn’t believe all of it was real. They had settled into an easy rhythm, everything felt so natural and comfortable. Ben would have laughed if someone told him a few weeks earlier that he’d have a corner in someone else’s closet for his clothes and all of his toiletries in someone else’s bathroom after a few days. Yet there he was, pulling a pair of his jeans and one of his shirts out of Landon’s closet. He shook his head as he went onto the bathroom and started the shower. Somehow, it all made sense, Ben decided as he brushed his teeth and waited for the water to heat. He didn’t think he’d ever get over the smell of Landon’s shampoo and sighed happily as he took a long whiff before reaching for his face wash.

“You’re up early.” It was a drowsy mumble and Ben smiled as he rinsed his face before turning to find Landon leaning against the bathroom wall.

“I have a doctor’s appointment before work. Sorry if I woke you,” Ben said as he leaned out and waited for Landon to kiss him.

“Is everything alright?” Landon’s brows pulled together with concern as he brushed his lips against Ben’s. Ben nodded and pecked at Landon’s lips before leaning back under the water.

“Just a checkup and the routine blood test,” he said as he rubbed shower gel over his chest and Landon nodded as his eyes followed Ben’s hands. He exhaled loudly before pulling his gaze to Ben’s face.

“Well, I’d better stay out of the way and let you get ready,” he mumbled and Ben shared his disappointment. He was tempted to pull Landon in but there was no way he’d get out the door on time if he did.

“I’ll have a short day though. Want to meet for lunch?” He asked and Landon grinned as he leaned against the bathroom door.

“Sounds good. Text me and let me know when you’ll be done and we can work out where to meet,” he said before he pulled the door open and slipped out.

God, this couldn’t be more perfect,
Ben thought as he spotted a cup of coffee next to the sink as he stepped out of the shower. He dried off quickly and moaned as he took a sip. It was just right. Ben’s lips twisted as he tried to recall if he even told Landon how he liked his coffee. He hadn’t. Ben pushed away a hint of tension, refusing to let reality ruin the peaceful, happy current carrying him through the morning. He whistled softly as he finished getting ready then found Landon in his office, working at his desk.

“I’ll see you later,” he murmured as he kissed Landon’s neck and chuckled as he looked over Landon’s shoulder at a colorful illustration of a dog typing feverishly on a laptop. Landon was in the middle of sipping his coffee and moaned for Ben to wait then pointed at a piece of paper on the corner of his desk.

“I found that while you were in the shower,” he explained as Ben picked it up. “They’re my results from last month,” Landon said and Ben’s brows rose as he scanned. He wasn’t surprised to see that Landon was clean and in perfect health.

“Great,” he said as he passed the sheet back to Landon. “So…” Ben said as he searched Landon’s face. Once again, they were casually drifting into a more advanced relationship phase and Landon was confusingly nonchalant. He smiled as he turned in his seat and slid his hands around Ben’s waist.

“So, whenever you’re ready, we don’t have to keep using condoms,” he replied and Ben felt like he was very ready. He groaned as he rested his forehead against Landon’s.

“You’re making it very hard for me to leave this morning,” he complained and Landon’s lips brushed against Ben’s as he nodded.

“I know, I can feel how hard this is for you,” he teased softly then sucked on Ben’s lower lip. “If it makes you feel any better, it’s very hard for me to let you go,” Landon whispered and Ben twisted his hand in Landon’s shirt and pulled him closer.

“If I don’t leave now, I’ll miss my appointment,” he mumbled and Landon sighed heavily.

“You’d better go, then. The sooner you get tested, the sooner you get results, the sooner…” He let his voice trail off and nipped Ben’s lower lip before leaning back. Ben nodded as he stepped back.

“I never thought I’d be this excited about going to the doctor,” Ben said under his breath and Landon laughed. “I’ll text you later,” he said as he turned and went for the door.

“I’ll be waiting,” Landon called and Ben waved as he left.

“Me too,” Ben said and knew that the next few days were going to be the longest of his life.

Chapter 13

“Do you mind if I borrow a pair of black socks?” Ben asked as he walked into the room in nothing but a pair of boxers and rubbing some sort of lotion or cream onto his stomach. It was something with cocoa butter and Landon’s jaw twinged as he stepped out of his closet and reached for Ben.

“You can have anything you want,” he murmured as his fingers traced the waist of Ben’s boxers. They slipped beneath the elastic and his nails grazed as he wrapped his hands around Ben’s ass. “After I see about this,” Landon said as he pushed Ben’s boxers over his ass. Ben’s erection sprang free and was hard and hot as it pressed against Landon’s thigh. Landon nipped Ben’s lower lip before he turned him and pushed him face first onto the bed.

“I thought you wanted to go out for lunch,” Ben mumbled as Landon’s knees dropped onto the bed. Landon growled softly as he kissed the hollows on either side of Ben’s spine.

“After I eat,” he whispered before sliding his tongue into the cleft of Ben’s ass. Goosebumps spread over Ben’s smooth, warm flesh and Landon grinned as he pushed Ben’s knees out and up, opening Ben. Landon’s tongue traced the pucker around Ben’s hole and he groaned in delight as the soft cinnamon and sweet taste of Ben’s flesh flooded his mouth.

“Jesus, Landon!” Ben hissed as he arched his back and raised his ass, in invitation. Landon unzipped his jeans and freed his cock before he was in too much pain then hooked his arms around Ben’s thighs and pushed his face between Ben’s cheeks. He lapped hungrily, coating Ben with his saliva and was about to drill his tongue into Ben’s tight hole when there was a loud knock at the front door. Landon’s head snapped up and he blinked a few times before he swore and jumped to his feet.

“Shit! It’s Lindsey!” He whispered loudly as he stuffed his erection into his boxer briefs and jeans before carefully zipping. Ben rolled over and pressed his hands against his face as he stifled a loud moan.

“Your sister?” He muffled and Landon nodded as he spun in circles trying to get a handle on the situation.

“Here,” he said as he grabbed a pair of sweatpants off the top of the laundry basket and tossed them at Ben. “Put these on. She’s here to pick up Keith. I can’t believe I forgot about that!” He complained as he ran into the hall. He froze before he turned and dashed back to the room. He skidded on the rug and grabbed the door frame. “Give me a minute before you come out,” Landon said then jumped when there was another knock. He waited until he saw Ben nod in confusion before taking off. Landon sprinted to the door then checked his appearance and caught his breath. He had a serious hard-on and lacked a shirt, he hoped he was relatively presentable. He pulled the door open and smiled brightly. “Lindsey!” He said loudly as he took in her very tanned yet exhausted appearance. She sighed heavily as she leaned in for a hug and paused. Her nose wrinkled and she held a hand in front of her, obscuring her view of his crotch.

“Was I interrupting something?” She asked accusatively and heat flooded Landon’s face as he threw his arm around her neck and kissed her forehead.

“Couldn’t you come in before you make everything awkward?” He asked and she snorted as she kissed his cheek and walked in. “How was the trip?” Landon asked as he shut the door.

“Fine. I’ve never had so much diarrhea in my life,” she grumbled before she dropped a plastic shopping bag on the table. “I got you a bunch of ugly knick-knacks, I’m sure you’ll fall in love with something in there,” Lindsey said as she placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at Landon. “What’s up with you?” She asked before she pointed at Landon’s head and groin. He frowned and leaned to look in the mirror by the door. His hair was a wreck, his lips were red and swollen and he was still sporting a rather stubborn boner. He cringed as he pushed a hand through his hair.

“I was actually in the middle of something,” he said as he nervously approached his sister. “I kind of forgot that you were coming by this afternoon and Ben and I were…” he waved vaguely and Lindsey’s head pulled back.

“Ben? Who is Ben?” She asked as her head swung around. Landon reached for Lindsey’s arm and rubbed it soothingly.

“Ben’s my…” His cheeks puffed out as he floundered. “Boyfriend,” Landon said abruptly and Lindsey’s eyes were wide when they returned to Landon’s.

“Boyfriend? I’ve been gone for two weeks! What the hell happened?” She asked loudly. Landon held his hands up and shrugged. He knew that Lindsey was going to have a hard time with this. He’d come out to his family when he was in high school but it wasn’t something anyone talked about. Everyone just politely ignored it. He was closer to Lindsey than anyone else in the world (though he was starting to feel like Ben was edging her out) and he worried about her reaction the most. She always insisted that she was fine with it but she never asked about Landon’s love life or lack of.

“Jason introduced us and it’s been really great,” Landon explained and Lindsey was completely still. “I really like him, Linds,” he whispered and she nodded jerkily. Then gasped.

“He’s here? Now?” She whispered loudly and Landon grinned.

“Ben, could you come out here?” Landon said loudly and Lindsey looked like she was ready to bolt. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and squeezed. Ben’s head peered around the bedroom door before he stepped into the hall.

“Oh, good God!” Lindsey whispered under her breath as he walked into the living room and Landon bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. It was quite a first impression. Ben was wearing nothing but Landon’s sweatpants and the legs were pulled up around his calves so it was less obvious that they were a touch too small. His skin was still shiny from the cocoa butter and Landon attacking him. There was a hint of warmth to his cheeks as he offered his hand and Lindsey’s shook as she took it. “Holy shit, you’re beautiful!” She declared before her hand flew to her mouth. Landon covered his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. He heard a soft chuckle from Ben and looked between his fingers to find Ben smiling bashfully at his feet.

“Thank you, I’ve heard a lot about you and it’s nice to finally meet you,” he said and Landon doubted it.

“Well done,” Landon said out of the side of his mouth then elbowed Lindsey. She elbowed him back before her eyes flicked back and forth between Landon and Ben.

“So, you two are…” She asked slowly and Landon nodded. He wasn’t sure what she was asking, specifically, but the answer was definitely yes. “And he’s your boyfriend?” She asked and Ben’s eyes were large and dark as he watched Landon.

“Yeah, he’s my boyfriend,” Landon announced and Ben’s lips tilted into a loose smile and his eyes became heavy. Whatever it was that Ben was feeling, Landon knew he was too. The room was too hot for clothes and his body almost itched, it wanted to be wrapped around Ben’s so badly. Lindsey cleared her throat and Landon sighed as he pulled his eyes from Ben’s.

“So…you have a boyfriend,” she mumbled as she went to the table. Landon followed and pulled out a chair. Her eyes were far away as she dropped onto the seat.

“Are you ok?” Landon asked as he took the seat next to hers. Her mouth opened then closed. She nodded again.

“I’m fine. It’s just so strange isn’t it?” She asked and Landon frowned.

“Strange?” He asked then looked at Ben. He was watching them and looked a little too amused. Landon’s head jerked toward the seat next to his and Ben pulled his lips in as he took a seat. Lindsey missed the entire exchange.

“We all know that you’re gay but we’ve never seen you actually…” Her hand waved dramatically and Ben’s lips twitched.

“Have sex?” He offered and Landon’s face twisted in horror and Lindsey’s jaw dropped. It hung open for several moments before she started to laugh.

“I see that I’m going to have to keep on my toes with you,” she said and Ben shrugged. “We’ve never seen you with anyone before. I’ve never known you to go on a date,” Lindsey explained and Landon nodded.

“I’ve always kept that part of my life separate. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he said and Lindsey crossed her arms over her chest.

“I am not uncomfortable,” she said loudly and Landon gave her a pointed look.

“You seem very comfortable,” he said and she rolled her eyes.

“What do you expect? It’s one thing to know that your brother is gay. Like, he isn’t into girls. But, it’s another thing to know that he’s actually doing
things
with guys,” she said. “I’m really liberal and I’m all for marriage equality but I just never thought about you being like that,” Lindsey explained and Landon’s lips twisted as he tried to understand.

“I’m sorry, how can one be gay but not have sex with men?” He asked and Lindsey threw her hands up.

“I don’t know! I guess I thought you were like philosophically gay but not in practice. Like, you were this adorable gay virgin,” she grumbled and there was a choking noise from Ben. Landon glared, warning him not to laugh.

“You thought I was a virgin?” Landon asked in disbelief and Lindsey chewed her lip nervously.

“Well, you never mentioned going out with guys and I’ve never even seen you look at one,” she said defensively. Landon squeezed his temples.

“I wasn’t going to brag about it or flaunt it. Not with our family,” he said and Lindsey winced. “I may have taken myself off the market recently but that was because I was over all of it. Not because of a lack of interest. I was not a virgin,” he stated firmly. Ben broke. A laugh burst from him and he clutched his middle.

“Oh, Jesus!” He gasped. “He definitely wasn’t a virgin!” Ben wheezed and Lindsey looked at Landon in shock.

“Were you a slut?” She asked in hushed surprise and Landon shook his head quickly. Ben howled.

“No!” Landon protested. “I was on the reasonable side of experienced and even though I was going through a bit of a dry spell recently, it was because I didn’t want to be a slut,” he explained.
Oh, my God! Why are you explaining this to your baby sister?
He wondered as he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and prayed that when he opened them, it would all be a dream and he’d be in bed. Not having the most painful conversation of his life with his sister. It was worse than when he came out. Instead of his mother’s “I see…” and his father’s “If you’re sure, then I guess we’ll just have to live with it,” he was arguing that he’d pulled a decent amount of ass and dick. “Can we talk about something else?” He begged and Lindsey looked relieved.

“You two are pretty serious, then?” She asked and Landon smiled as he reached for Ben’s hand.

“I think so,” Landon said as he twined his fingers with Ben’s. He felt Ben’s thumb stroke the inside of his hand and warmth spread up his arm. Lindsey pressed her hand to her chest and her eyes shimmered.

“Aaawww!” She sighed happily. “Does this mean that you’re staying? You’re not going to California?” She asked hopefully. The warmth was gone. Landon shook his head before he released Ben’s hand and stood up.

“No. I’m still going, Linds.” He grabbed the bag off the table and looked into it without seeing. “I have to go, I can’t turn down a job I’ve waited my whole life for. And my apartment is on the market and my agent said she’s given some promising tours,” Landon added and Lindsey sagged in her chair.

“Oh, no,” she mumbled as she fidgeted with her bracelet. “What about you and Ben?” She asked and Landon shook his head as he set the bag on the counter.

“I don’t know. We’re just making the most of what we have now and not worrying about what’s going to happen later,” he said and Lindsey gave him her “Are you serious?” look. He gave her his “Don’t start.” look and she rolled her eyes. “We’ll figure it out,” Landon stated firmly and she looked dubious. Ben cleared his throat as he stood.

“As you said, it’s only been two weeks and we’re focusing on enjoying every moment we have, not getting depressed about the future. And it’s been perfect,” Ben added. “I’m going to get dressed and let you two talk,” he said before he waved and escaped to the bedroom. Landon watched as Lindsey’s eyes clung to Ben’s ass. Landon’s sweatpants were a bit tight and hugged the tight globes so well, it was almost indecent. He couldn’t blame her for fanning herself as she stared. He waited until Ben turned into the bedroom before giving her an accusing look.

“If you’re finished…” He drawled as he leaned against the counter and she shrugged.

“I wouldn’t mind of he came back out and did it again,” she mumbled. “Nice cakes,” Lindsey declared and Landon choked.

“No!” He pointed and shook his head. “I don’t know where you heard that, but… No!” Landon said and she shrugged. “I was so discreet you thought I was a virgin, I was so afraid that you’d disapprove or be shocked. You don’t get to call them cakes. Or use any other gay slang,” he said as he crossed his arms over his chest. Lindsey jumped up and rushed around the table.

“I’m so sorry! It was more about me being uncomfortable with my perfect big brother being a mortal man than me being uncomfortable with you being gay. I’m sorry if you thought I didn’t love and support you completely,” she insisted and Landon practically deflated as the tension left his body as he pulled her into a hug. He knew he’d never have his parents approval but he needed Lindsey’s.

“Good. I really like him,” he whispered as he rocked her from side to side and she giggled.

“I noticed. And he’s so amazing. I can tell that you’re really good together,” she said and Landon nodded.

“We are, it’s been so perfect,” Landon said and Lindsey looked up at him.

“Then why are you still planning to move?” She asked and he banged his forehead hard against hers, causing her to yelp.

“Because we don’t know how long it’s going to stay perfect and I can’t turn down my life’s dream for something two weeks old. Even two months old would be insane,” Landon argued and Lindsey shook her head.

“No, I guess that would be kind of romantic and dramatic,” she said and Landon glared down at her.

“You don’t think doing something extreme like that would put way too much pressure on us and scare him off? And what about PixelWorks? Do you know how many people would kill for that job?” He asked and Lindsey’s eyes flicked to the ceiling as she considered.