The Perfect Mistress (22 page)

That's where he'd told her how he was falling in love with her again.

Love.

That word scared the mess out of her, so she didn't reciprocate his declaration. He said he was okay with that, but she could tell he was disappointed. That's why she was spending a rare Sunday dinner with her aunt, who she hoped would give her some insight on what to do about Matthew.

“You know, everybody at church was raving about that necklace you made me,” Velma said, pushing a bowl of her famous gumbo in front of Lauren.

“I'm glad you liked it, Aunt Velma.”

“I appreciate you getting me that for Mother's Day.” She paused, then gently said, “Did you get your mother something?”

Lauren turned her lips up. “You know I got her something, even though I don't know why I bother.”

“Did you get her something as nice as my necklace?” Velma asked bluntly.

Lauren didn't want to answer because she hadn't. Why bother? Her mother not only wouldn't appreciate it, she wouldn't take care of it. Since nothing Lauren could've done would've made her mother happy, she had delivered a bouquet of her mother's favorite flowers and chocolate-covered strawberries, which was her mother's guilty pleasure.

Velma took Lauren's silence as her answer. She slid across the seat from Lauren. “You know that I'm honored that you treat me like I'm your mother, and you will always be like a daughter to me, but you have a mother, and one day you're going to have to face the past so the two of you can heal y'all's relationship.”

“It's not me, Aunt Velma,” Lauren protested. “Mama is the one that doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I'm the one there taking care of her, going to visit her. And she treats me like crap. It's brutal.”

Aunt Velma nodded in understanding. “Still, she's your mother and the Bible says—”

“Unh-unh.” Lauren cut her aunt off. “Can we talk about
something else?” Aunt Velma wasn't one of those super-religious types, but she didn't hesitate to pull out a scripture to support her argument. “What's that?” Lauren said, quickly changing the subject as she pointed to a big shoe box placed on the end of the table.

Velma smiled. “Oh, I had taken these out because I was putting some stuff in storage and I came across this big box of family photos.” She got up and picked up the box. She slid it toward Lauren. “You'll find some wonderful pictures in there. You really should take a look.”

Lauren saw the pictures were all of her family. Those pictures lied: her family seemed happy in the pictures. None of the photos from her childhood reflected the true turmoil that the Robinson family had endured. Her only happy moments came when she was gallivanting around town with her dad. Julian always had done his own thing, so he seemed oblivious to the things that were going on.

“Look at this one. You ever seen this?” Velma said, pulling a five-by-seven photo out of the box. The black-and-white photo made Lauren smile. Her father, in an army uniform, looked incredibly handsome.

Lauren could understand why women were drawn to him. He had light hazel eyes, curly sandy hair, and smooth brown skin. She slowly fingered the picture.

“You remember this one?” Velma asked, setting another picture in front of her.

Lauren picked it up and her lips curled. That was Easter Sunday when she was about nine years old. They had been standing in front of the church. This is what she meant by the pictures not capturing the true stories. They'd taken this like
they were one big happy family, when the truth was, that day was very far from happy. That picture was taken just moments before Cecile Santiago sashayed onto the church grounds.

“I think you should take these and show them to your mama,” Aunt Velma said. “You know how she loves family photos. Maybe you could even get some of your own copies printed. You can just take the whole box.”

She was talking fast, like she didn't want to give Lauren room to protest.

“You know I don't normally loan out my pictures because folks don't take care of stuff that's important to me, but I think sometimes we need to let the good times overpower the bad. Maybe these pictures can bring a slew of good memories back.”

Lauren seriously doubted that. Still, she took the bag her aunt handed her and began filling it with the family photos. She'd take them, but she doubted she'd ever show them to her mother.

O
ver the last year, physically Joyce had had some good days and a lot of bad days. She denied it to everyone, but she knew something was wrong long before anyone else. After all, cancer had claimed her mother. Why would it not be passed down in the family?

Joyce considered the fact that she was in denial about the possibility that it would take her prisoner, too. But it had and now she was spiraling into an abyss that she had no control over, and she absolutely hated it.

Today, thank God, was one of the good days.

She had had a dream last night about the day she met Vernon. And the day he proposed was the most special time ever. That's what she had dreamed about.

But now that she was awake, reality was setting in. For every good memory Joyce had with Vernon Robinson, there were three bad ones to go along with it.

Joyce didn't realize that she was crying until Pearl stuck her head in the door. Joyce hated that these rooms didn't have locks.

“You coming to dinner?” she asked.

“You ever heard of knocking?” Joyce snapped, dabbing her eyes.

“Sorry.” She eased the door back closed.

Joyce tried to pull herself together. Pearl was the only somewhat friend she had here. She didn't mean to be so mean, but she couldn't control the bitterness that burned inside her. Maybe if she had some closure before Vernon died . . . Maybe if she could find forgiveness before she died.

Joyce didn't know. What she did know was that she was tired of hurting. And if her heart couldn't be healed, maybe death wouldn't be such a bad thing, after all.

Joyce took a deep breath. Her mind was getting all jumbled. This man had been dead for years. Why in the world did he still get to her so?

“Knock, knock,” Ernest said, knocking on her door and walking in at the same time. Normally Joyce would've gone off on him, but for once she welcomed his company.

“Hey,” she said softly.

He did a double take at her response. “I-I was just checking on you,” he said. “I heard about what happened with your daughter, you know, you slapping her.”

Hitting Lauren made Joyce wonder if she had pushed her away for good—and that thought scared Joyce to death.

Y
eah, baby. Just like that. Oh, yeah. You're making me so hot,” Lauren moaned as she shifted the phone from her right to her left ear.

“You want it, don't you?” he moaned, his voice husky and passionate.

“I do, Daddy. I do,” she said as she opened the washer and took the load of clothes out. She loaded the clothes into the dryer as Thomas continued to moan. Lauren had no idea why men got off on phone sex. It did absolutely nothing for her. But because it made her men happy, she did what she had to do.

Lauren rolled her eyes as Thomas reached his climax. She glanced at the time on her phone. This time it had taken him a whole four minutes.

“Girl, you sure know how to make a man feel good,” he said, breathless.

“Only for you, love. Only for you,” she replied as she moved the next load of clothes into the washing machine.

“All right, let me get back to work,” he said, his voice filled with satisfaction. “I'll call you later.”

“Okay, baby,” she replied. Not that she was participating, but Thomas hadn't been the least bit concerned about her
enjoyment. Typical.
Maybe it's time to change my number,
she thought. With the way things were going with Matthew, she didn't know why she was still fooling with Thomas anyway. Maybe because letting him go would mean she was committing totally to Matthew, and Lauren wasn't sure she was ready to do that.

Lauren had just hung up the phone when her doorbell rang. She started the dryer, walked over, and looked through the peephole. Her brow narrowed in confusion when she saw Matthew on the other side.

“Matthew, hey,” she said as she swung the door open.

“Hey, beautiful,” he replied with a big grin.

“So, you just drop by without calling?” She wasn't used to pop-up calls from men. She didn't pop up at anyone's house, and she didn't like anyone popping up at hers.

Matthew lost his smile. “Wow, that was not the reaction I was expecting.”

Despite the popcorn visit, a part of her was excited to see Matthew. He wasn't supposed to be back in town until tomorrow.

Lauren regathered herself, now that the surprise factor had worn off. “No, I'm sorry. I'm a little irritated doing some stuff for work. Come on in.”

“Well, I would have called, but my phone died.” He held up his phone. “Can I use your charger?”

“Yeah, it's over there on the bar,” she said, pointing toward the kitchen area.

He walked over, plugged his phone in, and then came back until he was right up close. “Can I have a kiss? I missed you.”

That brought a smile to her face. He was so handsome. With smooth chocolate skin and deep dimples, he needed to be starring in someone's soap opera.

“Yes, I'm sorry. I was just doing some chores.”

“You want to come to my place next?”

“Yeah, I'm barely getting them done over here.”

They laughed as she motioned toward the kitchen table.

“Come on in the kitchen and I'll fix you something to eat.”

“I love the domestic side of you,” he said, following her into the kitchen.

She glanced back over her shoulder as she opened the refrigerator and pulled out leftover chicken salad. “Don't get too used to that. I'm anything but domesticated.”

She made them both chicken-salad sandwiches, and they sat and talked for over an hour. She absolutely loved the interest he showed in what was happening with her. She hadn't had that since the last time they were together.

After they had finished eating, Matthew brought up a new subject. “You know, my niece's graduation is this weekend.”

“Tati?” Lauren said. “Tati is graduating?”

“Yep.”

“Wow. I haven't seen her since she was like five.”

“I know, and she would love to see you.”

“She wouldn't remember me.”

“But I know she'll love you.”

She had a feeling this was leading in some specific direction. “Maybe one day I'll get a chance to see her,” she remarked.

He flashed a sly smile. “Well, I told my parents that we were back together.”

That wasn't a direction she wanted. They'd never discussed being “back together.”

“Umm, did I miss something?” she asked.

“I mean, I'm not trying to be forward,” Matthew said. “But you know, I was just hoping that we could be together. Like exclusively.”

“The minute you give him your heart, he'll start giving you grief.”

“One day you'll fall in love so hard, and he'll cheat on you and break your heart. Then maybe you'll understand my pain.”

Lauren's mother's words rang in her head. She didn't want to know her mother's pain. She'd rather stay single than end up miserable and bitter like her.

She didn't know how to react. As much as she was feeling Matthew, as much as she enjoyed him, this exclusive thing wouldn't work. She had committed to a lifetime of being loved, yet not loving in return.

“Wow, Matthew. Umm, this is a bit too much,” she said.

He pulled her down onto his lap. “No, it's not. I've missed you so much,” he said, kissing her ferociously.

Her mind told her to pull away. Her body told her mind to shut up.

“You know, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you,” Matthew replied, nuzzling her neck. “I'm not letting you get away this time.”