The Peter Principle (11 page)

Ladies and/or Gentlemen:

In these troublous times, it gives me great pleasure to speak to you on the important topic of ———. This is a subject in which fantastic advances have been made. We naturally—and rightly—take pride in our accomplishments locally, yet we must not omit a word of tribute to those individuals and groups who have made outstanding contributions on a larger scale, at the regional, national, yes, and—dare I say it?—the international level. . . .

While we must never underestimate the marvels that can be achieved by personal devotion, resolution and persistence, yet I suggest that it would be presumptuous for us to think that we can solve problems which have baffled the best brains of bygone and present generations. In conclusion, then, let me state my position without qualification or equivocation. I stand solidly behind progress; I call for progress; I expect to see progress! Yet what I seek is true progress, not simply a chopping and changing for the mere sake of novelty. That true progress, friends, will be made, I suggest, only if, as and when we fix our minds, and keep them unshakably fixed, on our great historical heritage, and those magnificent traditions in which, now and forever, our real strength lies.

A Word to the Sufficient Is Wise

Look about you for the signs described above. They will greatly help you to analyze your fellow workers. But your most difficult task will be self-analysis. Hierarchiologist: heal thyself!

CHAPTER 13
Health & Happiness at Zero PQ—Possibility or Pipe Dream?

“No sense have they of ills to come,
Nor care beyond today.”

T. G
RAY

W
HEN AN EMPLOYEE
reaches his Level of Incompetence (Peter’s Plateau) he is said to have a Promotion Quotient (PQ) of zero.
1
In this chapter I shall show how different employees react to the situation.

Face the Sordid Truth (Not Recommended)

The employee realizes consciously that he has achieved final placement, reached his level of incompetence, bitten off more than he can chew, is out of his depth or “arrived.” (These terms are synonymous.)

The type of employee who is capable of realizing this truth tends to equate incompetence with laziness; he assumes that he is not working hard enough, so he feels guilty.

He thinks that, by working harder, he will conquer the initial difficulties of the new position, and become competent. So he drives himself mercilessly, skips coffee breaks, works through his lunch hour and takes work home with him on evenings and weekends.

He rapidly falls victim to the Final Placement Syndrome.

Ignorance Is Bliss

Many an employee
never
realizes that he has reached his level of incompetence. He keeps perpetually busy, never loses his expectation of further promotion, and so remains
happy
and
healthy.

You will naturally ask, “How does he do it?”

Substitution: The Lifesaver

Instead of carrying out the proper duties of his position he substitutes for them some other set of duties, which he carries out to perfection.

I will describe several Substitution techniques.

Technique No. 1: Perpetual Preparation

Faced with an important task, the competent employee simply begins it. The Substituter may prefer to busy himself with preliminary activities. Here are some well-tried methods.

       
a) C
ONFIRM THE NEED
for action. The true Substituter can never get enough evidence. “Better be safe than sorry,” is his watchword, or “More haste, less speed.”

           
Spend sufficient time in confirming the need, and the need will disappear.
(Peter’s Prognosis.)

           
For example, in organizing famine relief, study the need long enough, and you will eventually find that there no longer is any need for relief!

       
b) S
TUDY ALTERNATE METHODS
of doing whatever is to be done. Suppose that, after suitable preliminary investigation, the need is confirmed. The Substituter will want to be sure that he chooses the most efficient course of action, no matter how long he may take to find it. The “alternate method” technique is in itself a substitute and a less panicky form of the Teeter-Totter Syndrome.

       
c) O
BTAIN EXPERT ADVICE,
in order that the plan finally chosen may be effectively carried out. Committees will be formed, and the question referred for study. A variant of this technique, looking to bygone experts instead of live ones, is to
search for precedents.

       
d) F
IRST THINGS FIRST.
This technique involves minute, painstaking, time-consuming attention to every phase of preparation for action: the building-up of abundant reserves of spare forms, spare parts, spare ammunition, money, etc., in order to
consolidate the present position
before beginning an advance toward the goal.

Perpetual Preparation: An Instructive Example

Here is an interesting case which shows several of these techniques in use. Grant Swinger, deputy director of Deep-rest Welfare Department, was regarded as highly competent because of his outstanding ability to coax governments and charitable foundations into parting with money for worthy local causes.

War was declared on poverty. Swinger was promoted to the post of co-ordinating director of the Deeprest Anti-Disadvantagement Program, on the principle that since he so well understood the mighty, he should be highly competent to help the weak.

As this goes to press, Swinger is still busily raising funds to erect an Olympian office building to house his staff and to stand as a permanent monument to the spirit of aiding the needy. (First Things First.)

“We want the poor to see that they have not been forgotten by their government,” explains Swinger. Next he plans to convene a Deeprest Anti-Disadvantagement Advisory Council (obtaining expert advice), raise money for a survey of the problems of the disadvantaged (confirming the need) and tour the Western world to inspect similar schemes in preparation and operation elsewhere (studying alternate methods).

It should be pointed out that Swinger is busy from morning till night, is happy in his new post, and sincerely feels that he is doing a good job. He modestly turns away invitations to capitalize on his good image by running for elective office. In short he has achieved a highly successful
Substitution.

Technique No. 2: Side-Issue Specialization

P. Gladman was promoted to manager of a rundown inefficient plant of the Sagamore Divan and Sofa Company, with the specific task of increasing production and making the branch pay.

He was incompetent for this task, realized it immediately and so quickly ceased to apply his mind to the question of productivity. He
Substituted
a zealous concern with the internal organization of the factory and office.

He spent his days assuring himself that there was no friction between management and labor, that working conditions were pleasant and that all employees of the branch were, as he put it, “one big, happy family.”

Fortunately for Gladman he had taken with him, as assistant manager, D. Dominy, a young man who had not yet reached his level of incompetence. Thanks to Dominy’s energetic action, the branch was revitalized and earned a handsome profit.

Gladman received the credit, and felt proud of his “success.” He had appropriately
Substituted,
and achieved happiness in so doing.

The watchword for Side-Issue Specialists is
Look after the molehills and the mountains will look after themselves.

U. Tredwell was a competent assistant principal in an Excelsior City elementary school, intellectually capable, maintaining good discipline among students and good morale among teachers. After promotion, he found his level of incompetence as principal: he lacked the tact necessary to deal with parents’ organizations, newspaper reporters, the district superintendent of schools, and the elected members of the school board. He fell out of favor with the officials, and the reputation of his school began to decline in the eyes of the public.

Tredwell launched an ingenious Side-Issue Specialization. He developed an obsessive concern with the human traffic problems—with the swirls, eddies and bumps caused by movement of students and staff about halls, corridors, corners and stairways.

On large-scale plans of the building he worked out an elaborate system of traffic flow. He had lines and arrows painted in various colors on the walls and floors. He insisted on rigid observance of his traffic laws. No student was allowed to cross a white line. Suppose that one boy, during a lesson period, was sent from his classroom to take a message to a room immediately across the corridor. He could not cross the line down the middle: he had to walk right to the end of the corridor, go around the end of the line, then back down the other side of it.

Tredwell spent much time prowling the building looking for violations of his system; he wrote many articles about it for professional journals; he escorted visiting groups of Side-Issue-Specialist educators on tours of the building; he is at present engaged in writing a book on the subject, illustrated with many plans and photographs.

He is active and contented, and enjoys perfect health, with not the slightest sign of the Final Placement Syndrome. Another triumph for
Side-Issue Specialization!

Technique No. 3: Image Replaces Performance

Mrs. Vender, an Excelsior City high-school mathematics teacher, spends a great deal of class time telling her pupils how interesting and important mathematics is. She lectures on the history, present state and probable future development of mathematics. The actual work of learning mathematics she assigns to the students as home study.

Mrs. Vender’s classroom periods are bright and interesting; most of her pupils think she is a good teacher. They do not get on very well with the subject, but they believe that is just because it is so difficult.

Mrs. Vender, too, firmly believes that she is a good teacher; she thinks that only the jealousy of less competent teachers above her in the hierarchy bars her from promotion. So she enjoys a permanent, pleasant glow of self-righteousness.

Mrs. Vender is
Substituting.
Her technique is not uncommon, and it may be employed consciously or unconsciously. The rule is: for achieving personal satisfaction,
an ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
(Peter’s Placebo.)

Note that although this technique provides satisfaction to the user, it does not necessarily satisfy the employer!

Peter’s Placebo is well understood by politicians at all levels. They will talk about the importance, the sacredness, the fascinating history of the democratic system (or the monarchic system, or the communist system or the tribal system as the case may be) but will do little or nothing toward carrying out the real duties of their position.

The technique is much used, too, in the arts. A. Fresco, a painter in Excelsior City, produced a few successful canvases and then appeared to run out of artistic inspiration. He then established his career as a speaker on the value of art. Typical is the
Saloon Writer
who sits in a bar all day, at home or overseas, talking about the importance of writing, the faults of other writers and the great works he himself is going to write someday.

Technique No. 4: Utter Irrelevance

This is a daring technique, and often succeeds for that very reason.

The
Perpetual Preparer,
the
Side-Issue Specialist
and the
Image Promoter,
as we have seen, are not accomplishing any useful work—at least, not what they should be doing—yet they are doing, or talking about, something that is in some way connected with the job. Sometimes casual observers—even colleagues—will not realize that these people are
Substituting
instead of producing results.

But the
Utter Irrelevantist
makes not the slightest pretense of doing his job.

F. Helps, president of Offset Wheel and Axle Inc., spends all his time serving on the directorates of charitable organizations: spearheading fund-raising campaigns, planning the philanthropic activity, heartening the volunteer workers and supervising the professionals. He comes to his own office only to sign a few important papers.

In his
Irrelevance,
Helps constantly rubs shoulders with a former antagonist—now a good friend—T. Merritt, life vice-president of the Wheel Truers’ and Axle Keyers’ Union. Merritt is on most of the same charitable committees as Helps and he, too, does nothing useful in his own office.

University boards of governors, government advisory panels and investigative commissions are happy hunting grounds for the
Utter Irrelevantists.

In industrial and commercial hierarchies, this technique is usually seen at the upper levels only. However, in domestic hierarchies, it is exceedingly common at the housewives’ level. Many a woman who has reached her level of incompetence as wife and/or mother achieves a happy, successful
Substitution
by devoting her time and energy to
Utter Irrelevance
and leaving husband and children to look after themselves.

Technique No. 5: Ephemeral Administrology

Particularly in large, complex hierarchies, an incompetent senior employee can sometimes secure
temporary appointment
as acting director of another division, or pro tem chairman of some committee. The temporary work is substantially different from the employee’s own regular job.

See how this works. The employee no longer has to cope with his own job (which he cannot do, anyway, having reached his level of incompetence), and he can justifiably refrain from taking any significant action in the new post.

“I can’t make that decision: we must leave that for the permanent director, whenever he is appointed.”

An adept
Ephemeral Administrator
may continue for years, filling one temporary post after another, and achieving sincere satisfaction from his
Substitution.

Technique No. 6: Convergent Specialization

Finding himself incompetent to carry out all the duties of his position, the
Convergent Specialist
simply
ignores
most of them and concentrates his attention and efforts on one small task. If he is competent to do this, he will continue with it; if not, he will specialize still more narrowly.

F. Naylor, director of the Excelsior City Art Gallery, paid no attention to acquisition, exhibitions and financial policies, neglected building maintenance and spent all his time either working in the gallery’s framing shop or researching for his
History of Picture Framing.
My latest information is that Naylor has realized that he will never learn all there is to know about framing; he has decided to concentrate on studying the
various types of glue
that have been used or may be used in picture framing.

A historian became the world’s foremost authority on the first thirty minutes of the Reformation.

Several physicians have made reputations by studying some disease of which there are only three or four known cases, while others have become specialists who deal only in one small area of the body.