The P.J. Stone Gates Trilogy (#1-3) (9 page)

“Not here,” Bryn said as he dipped his head, showering me with more kisses before pulling away again. “You ready? I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” I whispered, gazing deep into his dark blue eyes. The way he looked at me in that moment, the love that emanated from him, made me feel like the most beautiful and special girl in the entire world. Someone who looked at me that way deserved to have everything that I was—mind, body, and soul. So far, he’d only received two of those three.
Tonight he would have everything
.

As he pushed into me, filling me in a way I’d never been able to imagine, I tried to mentally prepare myself for the pain. From all accounts, the first time for a girl was almost always painful, and I thought I was ready, but no amount of mental preparation could have readied me for the level of pain I was currently experiencing. I gritted my teeth and dug my nails into Bryn’s shoulders, not wanting him to know how much it really hurt. But it was short lived—the pain I mean—and slowly, ever so slowly, as Bryn rocked back and forth inside of me, the pain began to be replaced by pleasure. A deep-seated pleasure that made me truly understand, for the first time, why people like Jenna were so sex crazed.

My entire world narrowed down to Bryn and me, and I could no longer tell where I ended and he began. Surely there was nothing closer to bliss than being in the arms of the man I loved, and sharing such intimacy with him. A new type of warmth I’d never experienced before bloomed in my center. Soon it grew into a fire of need, spreading through my system, pushing outward into spasms of ecstasy. Bryn captured my face in his palms, forcing me to look at him instead of throwing my head back like I wanted. He didn’t last too much longer after that, and I slumped down in his bed as if all my bones were suddenly liquefied. Never, ever, had I imagined sex would be so wonderful—the connection between not only our bodies, but our powers as well—or maybe it was just that way with Bryn.

I smiled up at him as he collapsed above me, careful not to put his full weight on me. I ran my hands through his silky, tousled hair, and then down over his sweaty back. He shuddered at my touch, leaning forward to kiss me with a slow languidness that spoke of shared intimacies, and unspoken promises. “I love you, Peej. More than I can even begin to explain.” His voice was so low and husky it seemed to brush things on my insides, making me shudder in turn.

I gazed up into his eyes with adoration. “I love you, too,” I whispered, surprised at how husky my own voice sounded. I wished I could stay in his arms forever, forgetting about the outside world and all the problems it contained. But our love wouldn’t be enough to protect us from our parents’ wrath if they found us like this.

I must have frowned because Bryn’s brow furrowed as he looked at me. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No, Bryn” I bit my lower lip, thinking about what we’d just done. “You made my first time more amazing than I ever could have imagined.” He grinned at me, a look of pure male pride washing over his features. “I just wish I could stay here with you and not worry about everything else.”

He rolled onto his back, tucking me into his side so my head rested on his chest. “I hate this, Peej. I just wanna be with you. I wanna be able to touch you when I want, kiss you when I want. I wanna yell from the rooftops that you belong to me.” He pulled his fingers through my hair. “I don’t wanna have to watch you go out on dates with other guys.” His fist balled up in my hair.

“It wasn’t so bad tonight, was it? I mean, yeah, it sucked that I had to go on that date, but”—I lifted my head so I could meet his eyes—“look at where we ended up.”

He frowned at me. “I’m sorry, Peej. I really wanted your first time to be more special, not in my bedroom because I was crazy with jealously over some guy that you’re not even really dating. I just—”

“Shhh . . .” I brought my finger up to his lips. “I’m glad it happened. I wanna give everything that I am to you, Bryn. The rest doesn’t matter. Tonight was the best night of my life so far, because I just shared something with you that I’ve never shared with anyone else. You own me now—heart, soul . . . and body.”

“You own me, too, Peej. Everything that I have—that I am—belongs to you and only you. Always.” His lips sought mine, and our kisses began to become more fevered again. I wanted so badly to stay in his arms, kissing, exploring, learning all there was to know about pleasing him, and discovering what I liked best, too. But we couldn’t stop the outside world from happening; eventually it would seek us out.

“Hey. I should probably go.” I started to get up, but Bryn pulled me back down to capture my lips with his again. “Bryn.” I tried to chastise him, very unsuccessfully, especially since my body seemed to have a mind of its own. I groaned as he rolled me under him, obviously not liking the idea of me leaving quite yet. “Five more minutes . . .” I murmured, giving myself over to him.

My eyes fluttered open to sunlight streaming through Bryn’s bedroom window. “Oh, shit!” I sat up with a start. Bryn reached for me without opening his eyes, trying to pull me back down into bed. “Bryn—no! Wake up! We fell asleep.” His eyes cracked open, and he sat up on his elbows, drowsily scanning his room. I could almost see when realization hit him. “Oh, shit.” He leapt from bed and pulled on a pair of shorts.

I, meanwhile, was frantically searching for my clothes. “Oh God—Bryn—we’re going to be in so much trouble. They’re going to know. They’re—”

“Calm down, Peej. Don’t panic just yet. My parents obviously didn’t check in on me, so our cover isn’t blown yet.”

I grabbed my cell phone out of my purse and swore under my breath—
25 missed calls.
Just then my phone began to vibrate in my hand. It was Jenna. “Hello?” I squeaked.

“Oh my God! Where are you? Your parents were freaking out. I told them you came over to my house after your date to tell me about it and fell asleep, but they’re going to be expecting you home soon.”

Relief washed over me, and I exhaled the tension from my body. Our cover wasn’t blown yet. “I’m on my way home now. Thanks, Jenna.”

“Wait!” Jenna yelled. “I better get all the details later. It’s the least I deserve.”

“Yeah, okay. But I have to go now. I so don’t wanna get busted.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye.” She hung up in a huff. What exactly was I going to tell her? Guess I could worry about that part later. For now, the important thing was that I had to get home before anyone discovered what really happened to me.

“Jenna covered for you?”

“Yeah, thank God,” I said as I pulled my shoes on and headed for the window.

When I’d made it through, Bryn caught my wrist and tugged me up so I had to stand on my tippy toes to reach him. “I need to see you later.”

I smiled up at him. “I hope you don’t think we’re going to be getting naked again for the next couple of days. I can barely walk.”

He delivered me one of his patented lopsided grins complete with dimples. “We can do other . . .
things.”

I’m not really sure why I had the urge to ask—no, the
need
—but I just couldn’t help myself. “What was it like—with Tammie? I mean, was I as good?”

“I didn’t go all the way with her. Why do you think I did? Last night was my first time, too, Peej.”

My jaw dropped in surprise. “But you were with her for over a year, and you’ve been making such a big deal about my first time and—”
And he was so good.
How was he so good at those things if he’d never done them before?

“Girls look at their first time a lot differently than guys do. I just wanted to make sure it was special for you.” He locked gazes with me. “I told you I couldn’t get you out of my head. It would’ve been wrong to do it with her while I was imagining it was you the entire time. I knew as long as my first time was with you, it would be special for me.”

My cheeks flushed. “Oh, but—”

“We did other things. Mostly she did them to me,” Bryn answered before I could ask. “They were good, and I enjoyed them but . . . she wasn’t you.”

I knew it was absolutely ridiculous, but thinking of Tammie doing things to Bryn, and him enjoying them, despite the night Bryn and I had just shared, made jealousy flare red hot within me. “Teach me,” I practically growled. “Teach me so I can do all of those things to you. I wanna learn how to make you happy, Bryn.”

He reached forward, face serious, and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “You’ve already made me happy, Peej. You’re so amazing—beyond amazing—I can’t even describe . . .”

“You know what I mean.”

“I’ll be happy to teach you.” Bryn mischievously grinned at me, heat shining at me from his eyes. “There are a few things I wanna learn to do with you, now that you broached the subject.” He kissed me one last time, slipping his tongue in my mouth to briefly intertwine with mine, before he playfully pushed me away from the window. “Now go before I don’t have the strength to let you.”

“Okay.” I smiled up at him, biting my lip. My steps were slow and labored as if my legs were protesting the thought of leaving him. I willed myself not to look at him for fear that I would run back into his arms. I hurriedly made my way back to my house with what I was sure was a big goofy grin on my face.

My mom turned to glare at me as I sheepishly entered the kitchen through the back door. “Nice of you to call to let us know you were safe. I was frantic with worry.” She fidgeted with her reddish hair that was currently pulled into a low ponytail at the nape of her neck, a sure sign of her motherly anxieties, since it was clear she hadn’t bothered to wash or style it. I also noted the dark smudges under her eyes, probably caused from staying up much too late worrying about me. I internally sighed.
What am I going to do with her?

“Mom, you’re always frantic with worry. It’s what you do,” I mumbled, averting my eyes. I was almost positive she’d be able to tell I wasn’t a virgin any more just by looking at me.

“True,” she stated. “But that’s beside the point. Next time, at least call.” She turned back to the stove to continue cooking breakfast. “And no allowance this week. I’ll probably need to use the money to buy hair dye to cover all the gray you’re giving me.”

I just stood there for a moment, staring at her back in shock.
That’s it? A week without allowance?
I half expected her to turn back around to yell at me that she could tell what I’d done, that it was obvious to anyone who had fully working eyes. But that didn’t happen, and I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. “I’m gonna go shower,” I mumbled as I scurried out of the kitchen.

Only when I was safely behind my closed door did I dare to release a sigh of relief. I pulled out my phone and texted Bryn.

In the clear
, I typed before hitting send.

A few seconds later, my phone beeped in response.
Wasn’t worried. Need 2 c u later
.

I’ll text u when I can get away
, I typed.

I’ll be waiting
.

I couldn’t help the smile that broke out across my face. I was so lucky to have Bryn. I thought it sucked before, being separated from him when he was just my best friend—although I’m really not sure he was ever
just
my best friend—but now that we were so much more, it was almost as if I could barely breathe being away from him.

I heaved a loud sigh and made my way into the bathroom for a quick shower. I turned the water on to let it warm up as I stripped my clothes off, stopping to study myself in the mirror. On the surface, maybe I didn’t look any different, but the eyes that were reflected back at me were those of a stranger. She seemed to hold some dark, delicious secret of what it meant to be touched so intimately by the man she loved, and her eyes danced merrily with the knowledge of what it felt like to be made love to by her heart’s desire. She smiled at me. I smiled back. I paused another moment to study the rest of me for changes. Unfortunately, I hadn’t sprouted the body of a woman overnight. I was still a tad too skinny and a tad too tall. “But Bryn thinks I’m beautiful,” I murmured to myself. And that was all that mattered.