The Polar Bear's Baby (Honeypot Babies Book 1) (4 page)

Mia

The word “pregnant” hangs in the air like a cloud hovering over us. It’s so final, so big, so loud. It’s this huge life event, this huge thing, and it’s just there waiting for him to respond.

I told him.

I finally womaned up and told him what was holding me back from pursuing a relationship with him, what was keeping me from being honest with him about my feelings and the possibility of a future between us.

Now it’s up to him.

“Is that it?” He asks.

“What?”

“You’re afraid I won’t want you because you’re pregnant?”

“I’m afraid you won’t want me because you’re the father,” I say, whispering. Does he know what I’m saying? Does he understand? This is so huge. This is such a big, huge thing, and he’s being strangely calm.

“Why would you think that?” To my surprise, Aidan doesn’t seem upset that I’m pregnant. He seems upset I wouldn’t trust him to stay with me. He seems upset I thought he’d want out of this.

“It’s just that, you know, most guys…”

My voice trails off because I don’t really know how to finish what I was about to say. Most guys what? Most guys wouldn’t want a baby they hadn’t planned for? Most guys wouldn’t want a baby with me? Most guys wouldn’t want a baby with a human?

How can I say this so it doesn’t sound shitty?

Because the truth is we both know Aidan isn’t most guys. A bit of hurt flashes in his eyes and I realize that even though I didn’t finish my sentence, the message is clear: I compared him to other men, lesser men. I compared him to people who aren’t as loyal as he is. I compared him to people who react poorly when they’re afraid.

“Most guys are assholes, Mia,” he whispers. His legs are trapping mine, keeping mine in place, and he places his hands on my thighs. A shiver of excitement, of comfort, of hope shoots through my body.

When Aidan touches me, I feel fucking alive. I feel like I could float away and that everything would be okay. I feel like nothing can touch me or hurt me or break me. He’s all I need.

That’s how he makes me feel.

“You aren’t most guys.”

“You seem to think so.”

“I’m just scared.”

“That’s understandable. How long have you known?”

“Not long. A few days.”

“Have you told anyone?”

“You mean my brother?” I laugh. “Yeah, right. I think we both know exactly what he’s going to say.”

Aidan raises an eyebrow, but his hands don’t stop rubbing my legs. A girl could get used to this.

“You mean you don’t expect him to support your decision to raise our child wholeheartedly?”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.”

“Richard isn’t a bad guy.”

“Richard would think having a baby is a mistake.”

I touch my belly, rubbing it.

“Can I?” He reaches for me and I nod. Aidan places his hands on my still-flat tummy. Soon it’ll grow. Soon I’ll be round and big and showing and everyone will know I’m growing a baby. Soon everyone will know I had sex. Soon everyone will know I’m going to be a mommy.

Soon I’ll have to tell my brother, too.

“You’re beautiful, Mia. I’ve always thought that.”

“Really?”

“Ever since Rich and I were roomies. He had this goofy picture of you he used to keep in a frame on his desk.”

“The one of us on the trampoline.” I remember the day my mom took the picture. I remember how hard we were laughing in the hot summer sun, how we didn’t mind how much we were sweating or how gross and sticky we felt in the heat. We just cared that we were together having fun. That was all that mattered to us.

“He used to tell me stories about you all the damn time. He always acted more like a dad than a big brother.”

“Yeah, well, welcome to my world.”

“Come with me.” Aidan stands suddenly and pulls me to my feet. He surprises me.

“Where are we going?” I ask suspiciously.

He just shakes his head and grabs my hand. Then Aidan leads us through his surprisingly messy house and out the back door. It’s already dark and I can see stars.

“Um, Aidan?”

“Just trust me,” he urges me. He leads me across the backyard, which is big and open. I try not to picture our child – our cub – running through the yard, but I can’t help it.

Will we have a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes?

Will we have a boy with a mysterious smile?

What if we have twins?

We walk across the grass, hand-in-hand, and Aidan leads me toward the end of the yard.

“My garden,” he points. “There’s a little pond over there, too. It’s great for fishing.” He points, but I can’t see the pond in the darkness. “We’ll have to put up a fence around the backyard while our baby is little. That way he or she can play in the backyard.”

“Are you serious?” I ask him, still surprised at his reaction. “You’d really want to be around our child so much you’d put a fence up?”

“I want to be around both of you,” he says. “All the time.”

Then Aidan grabs me and pulls me against his chest.

“What do you want, Mia?”

“I want that, too.”

“What is it? What’s holding you back?”

“Are you sure you really want that? What if you feel trapped? Or, you know, obligated?”

“I’ve wanted you for years, Mia. You’re a legend.”

“What?”

“Your brother built you up in my mind long before I ever met you, sweetie. I feel like I know you so well. I’ve heard so many amazing stories about your childhood, about who you are and what you stand for. I’ve been measuring women against you for years and somehow, they’ve never stood a chance.”

“Not compared to me?”

“Not compared to you,” he agrees.

I think about what he’s saying, about what his words really mean. I knew my brother and Aidan were close, but I never realized they were so close they shared stories about their families. I don’t know why I never thought about that. Richard told me things about Aidan. It would only make sense he would share about me, too.

There was something about me, about the way I sound in stories about my life, that made Aidan interested in me. Is that part of the reason my brother never introduced us? Maybe he wasn’t trying to keep us apart intentionally, but my inner-shrink knows that he probably was subconsciously. If Aidan expressed interest in meeting me, my brother would have reacted like, well, like a big brother.

But at this moment, none of that matters.

Right now, the only thing that matters is I’m finally with Aidan and I don’t know why I waited so long to reach out to him. Even if I wasn’t going to have his baby, maybe I should have called him. Maybe I should have tried talking to him. He doesn’t seem so big and bad and scary in the moonlight.

Then he lowers his head, and Aidan kisses me softly, slowly. He takes his time and I don’t fight him. My heart is swimming and my head feels like it’s about to explode from the moment.

I didn’t think he would yell when I told him he’s going to be a dad, but when I drove to Honeypot, I never imagined he’d react like this. The most I expected was maybe the occasional weekend visit, but it seems like he wants more than that. It seems like he’s going to be here for the long haul.

Can that possibly be right?

Can he really be that serious?

Aidan and Richard were close in school, but I never dreamed Aidan would be comfortable pursuing something with me: his friend’s little sister. Aidan was always one of Richard’s favorite friends. He’s the entire reason Richard goes to Honeypot to counsel the shifters when they require a counselor or therapist.

Richard might be a shrink, but he’s got a heart of gold. He’d do anything for Honeypot, for Aidan. Maybe he’d do anything for me. I don’t know. Maybe I’ve judged my big brother too harshly. I don’t like the idea of telling Richard I’m knocked up, but maybe it won’t be as bad as I think it will be.

Only time will tell on that one.

“What was that for?”

“For being you. Come on.”

The kiss is over, but the moment isn’t. I try to keep my hopes and emotions in check as we walk toward the woods, but it’s heart. Excitement is coursing through my veins as we go deeper into the woods. I’m not nervous or scared to be going into a dark, spooky forest with Aidan by my side. He would never lead me into harm’s way. He would never let anything bad happen to me.

We step into the woods and the thick forest encases us.

“I haven’t been in the forest in a long time,” I murmur, gripping his hand tightly. I squint, trying to see. Streams of moonlight pour through the branches, but I still struggle to see well in the darkness.

Being a shifter, Aidan doesn’t have the same problem.

“Not since Tommy Miller, huh?”

“I can’t believe Richard told you about him.” Aidan can’t see me in the darkness, but I blush furiously.

“You’re blushing.”

Okay, apparently he
can
see.

“That was a long time ago,” I protest.

“I heard you like to make out with boys in the woods,” he teases.

“Only when I’m going to get caught by the police,” I say, giggling at the memory.

“What if there aren’t any police around, Mia?” Aidan pushes me against a tree and runs his hands over my breasts.

“M-m-maybe,” I whisper.

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe I’d want to make out in the woods.”

“Are you sure about that? You look a little shy to me.”

“I’m not shy.”

“No?” He bites my ear. “You seem shy.”

“No,” I run my hands down his back and grip his ass. “I’m
not
shy.”

I know he’s teasing me, begging me to react to what he’s doing, but I have no problem giving in to this moment. I have no problem giving in to Aidan.

He pulls my hair, then, angling my head back so he can kiss me. His lips are soft and sweet against mine. A growl rises in my throat. What
is
that? Is that what I sound like when I’m horny? Maybe I was too drunk last time or maybe I was too swept up in the moment, but I’m getting to re-experience everything that is Aidan.

And in this moment, nothing can crush the dreams that are welling up inside of me and starting to soar.

Mia

“If we’re going to have a baby,” Aidan says, pulling away from me. “There are a few things you need to know about me.”

“Do you have a secret family or something?”

“Nothing like that.”

“Is it the shifter thing?” I ask. He nods.

“I take it Richard told you?”

“He mentioned it.”

“How much do you know about shifters, honey?”

I wiggle against the tree, wishing he would put his hands back on me. I want his palms stroking down my chest, running over my breasts and stomach. I want him pulling off my clothes and licking my body. I want to be on my knees in front of him, licking
his
body. I want to be doing anything but talking.

Only, I can already tell we aren’t going any further until we talk, so I try to recall every conversation I’ve ever had with my brother about the shifters of Honeypot and what they’re like.

Most of what Richard does is private. He doesn’t talk about his counseling sessions in any sort of specific detail, but sometimes, if there are several people dealing with the same issues, he’ll discuss this with me.

“I know shifters often have self-esteem issues and live with extreme anxiety,” I say. “I know that many shifters also find it difficult to be around humans for long periods of time because the stress of wondering if they know
you’re
not human can be incredibly exhausting.”

He looks at me and his lip quirks, but I keep talking, remembering all the things Richard has says. Maybe he didn’t think I was paying attention at the time, but I’m pretty proud of myself for everything I remember about shifters and the world they live in.

“I know poaching has been a problem in some communities, especially for rarer types of shifters, like dragons. I know about Dragon Isle, where the dragons tend to congregate, and I know they have been a lot safer since the new clan leader, Emerson, took over. He put many safety protocols in place to keep everyone alive and well in the crazy world we live in. The dragons aren’t hiding, but they aren’t making themselves targets, either.”

Aidan is full-on smiling right now, and I’m not sure why, but I can’t seem to stop sharing everything I know about shifters, so I continue.

“I know most shifters don’t shift until they hit puberty, or shortly after puberty. Some shifter children are able to change forms at a young age, but for most, it’s around 13 or 14 years old when shifting becomes a possibility.”

“Stop.”

“Did I get something wrong?” I’m a little confused, but Aidan shakes his head.

“Baby, you gave me a perfectly scientific and psychiatric evaluation of the inner-workings of shifters, but I want to know what you
know
. What do you feel? What do you understand? There’s a lot more to being a shifter than experiencing discrimination or being afraid someone is going to turn you into a science experiment.”

“Tell me, then,” I whisper. “Tell me everything I need to know.”

I take Aidan’s hand and I place it on my stomach. Our eyes meet and we just watch each other for a moment.

“You’re going to be a daddy, Aidan. Tell me what I need to know to help our baby have the best life.”

He nods, then Aidan starts taking off his clothes.

“What are you doing?” I ask. He bares each part of his body quickly, much faster than I would like. Usually, I’m not the type of girl who wants to take her time. The night Aidan and I were together, we were both tearing off each others’ clothes as quickly as could. We were rushing through everything because neither one of us could form a coherent thought long enough to slow down.

Now, though, I kind of want to take my time. I kind of want to enjoy every bit of him I can. It’s not that I’m scared tonight is going to be the only night. If Aidan really likes me, is interested in being with me, then there will be plenty of nights together. There will be plenty of chances to touch him, lick him, play with him.

Tonight I want to be teased a little bit, but I have a feeling that will come later. Aidan pulls his shirt off and throws it onto the dirt ground. Even though it’s dark and I can’t see that well, I can see his abs.

“You work out a lot,” I murmur.

“Not as much as humans, but yeah.”

“Genetic advantage?” I ask. “Is that why all shifters are fit?”

“Not all shifters are fit,” he says with a smile. “If you think that, you haven’t met Rufus Brown yet.”

“That’s true.”

“I do work out a lot, but I also run in my shifter form almost every day.”

“What kind of…I mean…what are you?” I whisper. I think he’s a polar bear, judging by the décor at his shop, but he’s never actually said it. I’m going to feel silly if he shifts into something else, like a hawk or an owl or a snake or something. There’s a part of me that hopes he really is a big, beautiful bear. There’s a part of me who wants to see the beast.

Is this rude? Is it rude to just straight-up ask someone what kind of shifter animal they are? I feel like it’s rude, but I don’t really know. Maybe it’s acceptable if you know someone well enough.

This is one of those things Richard didn’t tell me. I’m realizing there’s a lot my brother didn’t tell me, but I can’t really blame him. He went off to college when I wasn’t old enough to really understand how his life was changing or how he was growing up. Then I went to college and he was busy setting up his practice. He was busy becoming this awesome shrink and changing the world while I was still worried about changing my hairstyle. Even though I always felt like we were close, maybe we weren’t.

Maybe there’s a lot I don’t know about my brother.

“It’s okay,” Aidan gently touches my cheek. I lean into his touch and close my eyes, trying to focus completely on how his skin feels against mine. I don’t want this moment to end. Even though it’s just his hand touching me, even though this isn’t a sexual touch in any way, my blood is boiling with anticipation. It’s all I can do to keep from just pushing him down on the ground and riding him.

“Touch me more,” I whisper.

“Like this?” He strokes my arms with his hands, pressing his chest against me. Once again, I’m pinned between him and the tree. I can feel his hardness pressing against me and I just can’t stop thinking about what comes next.

What’s he going to do to me next?

“Yeah, just like that.”

“There are a lot of different types of shifters, Mia,” Aidan says. He bites my ear as his hands continue to stroke up and down my arms.

“I know.”

“Shifters aren’t like normal animals. That’s a myth.”

“What do you mean?” I manage to make words, manage to form the question, but my mind is getting hazy with lust, with excitement, with anticipation.

“Shifters aren’t locked in to one geographical location the way many animals are. So you aren’t only going to find tigers in one area or bears in one area. There might be some similarities, but the idea that you’re going to find lions in hot areas and polar bears in cold ones is a myth.”

“Is it? I thought Richard said most polar bear live in Alaska.”

“I didn’t say they don’t like the cold. I just said they don’t
have
to live there.”

“What about the dragons? Don’t they all live in the same place?”

“Not at all. You’re talking about Dragon Isle?”

“Yeah.”

“A lot of dragons like to live together, but they aren’t all on Dragon Isle. There are different dragon clans just like there are shifter towns. It’s hard to be a shifter. It’s even harder to be a huge shifter, and dragons get pretty big. A lot of them live together for emotional support.”

“And sex?”

“What are you asking?” Aidan stops nibbling on me and pulls back. He smiles, and I realize he knows exactly what I’m asking. He’s just going to make me say it.

“Aren’t dragons kind of kinky?”

“Compared to other shifters?”

“Compared to anyone.”

“Oh yeah,” he murmurs. “But just because I’m not a dragon, don’t start thinking I’m not very, very kinky, Mia.” He licks my neck and I can feel the warmth of his tongue against my skin as he moves up to my ear once more to whisper to me. “I might not be a dragon, but I can be very, very naughty.”

“What are you?” I whisper once again.

This time, Aidan pulls back and whispers to me.

“Don’t move.”