The Power of Coincidence (28 page)

When you feel truly happy, remember to say, “May all beings feel this happiness with me.” This practice of loving-kindness engenders a view of happiness as a gift you have received in order to give it away. Happiness is then not a personal possession but a bond with all mankind. When you are sad or discouraged, remember that many other people the world over are feeling what you are feeling at the same time. Join with them: “May all those feeling what I am feeling find a way through it. May they be helped by my work on myself. May I be helped by theirs.”

Here are more declarations that may fit:

I am thankful for the work I have accomplished and the graces I have received in the reading and working of this book.

I acknowledge and appreciate the synchronicities in my daily life.

I acknowledge a meaning in every chaos.

I acknowledge a world beyond my senses, a truth beyond my intellect, a wisdom beyond logic, a power beyond my limits, a serene design that abides despite any distressing display.

I am thankful for the graces that take me beyond my limits.

I seek community with others on my path.

I say Yes unconditionally to what is.

I open myself to every transformation that is ready to happen in and through me.

I reclaim my body as a channel of spirituality; I celebrate my powers and passions.

I drop the need for certainty; I am comfortable with ambiguity.

I let go of fear and obligation and live by love and choice.

I keep finding an inner source of strength and comfort in and beyond me.

I disperse compassion and love wherever I go.

I consecrate myself to join with others to end war and injustice in my lifetime.

I keep finding new companions on my journey to love, wisdom, and healing.

I redeem the earth and include all humanity in my heart.

I look back over my life and all that has happened. I recall the people I have known and all they did to, with, or for me and all that I did to, with, or for them. I begin with my parents and end with the most recent person I have met. I see how it has been like a story; an order and continuity pervades it. I affirm a trust that it has a meaning.
Love makes meaning visible. I trust its power.

I contemplate my lifeline with each of its turning points.

I notice the messages that limited or expanded me, for example, “Don’t go,” or “Don’t go that far.”

I see the afflicting and assisting forces, mortal and immortal, those who encouraged or repressed my lively energy.

I recall my griefs and how they were mourned, my gifts and how they were given.

Where was my effort and where was grace?

What were my breakthrough events of destiny and awakening?

Which crises and relationships were initiatory?

Which places or jobs opened me to new dimensions in myself?

Where were the opportunities to develop and release my gifts to the world?

How do I give thanks?

How did I befriend or deny my shadow, my dark, ego-inflated side as well as the bright, untapped potential in my Self?

If I believe that the way everything turns out after I have done all I can to fix or change things reveals my path, what is my path right now?

I picture this scene: all the characters on my life’s stage take a bow. Villains and heroes become equal in this moment. All were necessary to the plot and the denouement. All were entertaining.

I greet each with compassion and thanks, realizing that this is what it took for me to become who I am.

My only search is for that which is always and already all of ours.

Now what?

Epilogue

What follows is a version of a Hasidic story I once heard and that has stayed with me over the years. I find it so profound that I keep contemplating it, but I still do not feel that I have plumbed it fully. I share it in concluding this book because I believe it to be a wonderfully joyous account of the synchronicity of religious questions, spiritual consciousness, and the power of lively energy.

In the late 1800s, a young rabbi in a Polish farming village found himself at a loss to answer the unusually deep theological questions continually posed to him by his congregants. Though they were simple farmers and herders living in this
shtetl,
they were often ruminating on such questions as: Why is there suffering and evil in the world? Why does God not intervene to save the innocent? Why are there pogroms? What is the ultimate meaning of Passover? What happens after death? Not being a particularly sharp student at yeshiva/seminary, he had not emerged into rabbinical life with many answers. At times, he did not even quite understand the questions. The rabbi, however, did recall his best professor, a very ancient and eminently wise rabbi. One day, he wrote to him, asking if he would come to the
shul
some evening to answer all the puzzling questions for him. To his happy surprise, the great rabbi agreed.

A month later, all the congregation was abuzz with excitement that at last, their religious problems would be addressed and laid to rest. They were sitting in the candlelit synagogue in great awe and with ardent attentiveness as the sage from Krakow with his long white beard and stooped shoulders entered the sanctuary. The old man went up and stood silently before the
bima
(the lectern from which the Torah is read). After a contemplative moment, he sat quietly on a rude wooden chair facing the people. His voice was faint, but in the silence of expectation he could easily be heard: “I want to hear your questions, and then I will answer them—not one by one, but only after I have heard them all.”

The congregants stood one at a time and asked their questions, wondering how the rabbi, who was certainly listening carefully, would be able to remember them all. After everyone who wanted to present his personal conundrum had done so, the wise old man peered out into the audience and asked if there was anyone else with a query. Only silence greeted him, the breathless silence of those who have waited a long time for satisfaction and were now about to find it. “Good,” he murmured, “So now I will answer every single question.” The little congregation was poised and arched toward their teacher, necks craned, ears pricked, eyes aglow with this assurance that their longtime enigmas would finally be cleared up.

The old rabbi looked back at them intently and with great kindliness. He began to hum a local
niggun,
a folk tune used in services to induce a prayerful attitude. The people stared at him and at one another. What could this mean? Was he humming as a prologue to his answering? Was he bored? But without explanation, their elder guide kept humming the tune they all knew so well.

After awhile, the people began to hum along in harmony with the rabbi. Some folks took out their fiddles or flutes and began to play softly to accompany the humming. Soon they were dancing and swaying as the evening became a party full of laughter and joy. The rabbi stayed in his seat smiling as he tapped his foot to the rhythm and continued humming.

Somewhat later, as people tired, they began to relax and grow quiet again. Now they looked to the rabbi quizzically. Would he now speak to their questions? And he did speak: “I have now fully answered all your questions,” he announced, and bowing to them and to the Torah, he took his leave.

A
niggun
is a tune flowing in search of its own unattainable end.

—A
BRAHAM
J
OSHUA
H
ESCHEL

Such harmony is in immortal souls.

—W
ILLIAM
S
HAKESPEARE,
The Merchant of Venice

About the Author

David Richo, Ph.D., M.F. T., is a psychotherapist, teacher, and writer in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California, who emphasizes Jungian, transpersonal, and spiritual perspectives in his work. For more information, including a schedule of workshops and an audio catalogue, visit
www.davericho.com
.

Books by David Richo

Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth
(2009). Becoming healthy, both psychologically and spiritually, includes releasing the full range of our imagination about who we are and can be. Writing poetry can be a surprising tool in that venture. What it takes to express ourselves poetically is exactly what can open us to our inner world and connect us to others and to nature. Using Buddhist and Jungian perspectives, this book offers a fresh and inspiring approach to personal growth, one that taps into our inherent creativity and the versatility of poetry. We who have never considered ourselves to be poets will feel empowered to give it a try and see what we can discover about ourselves and our world.

Making Love Last: How to Sustain Intimacy and Nurture Genuine Connection
(2008). Intimacy is one of the great powers and joys of life, yet all too often it gets clouded by miscommunication, a loss of affection, and a lack of mutual support. David Richo shows us how to use mindfulness to increase our capacity to give and receive love, improve physical and emotional intimacy, resolve conflicts constructively, move from needy, ego-centered love to unconditional love, and discover how relationships can be a path to spiritual awakening.

Wisdom’s Way: Quotations for Meditation
(2008). This is a book of quotations gathered from a variety of sources in psychology and spirituality, especially Buddhist, Christian, Jungian, and transpersonal. The quota tions are brief and can be used as springboards for meditation. They are divided into three sections: psychological insight, spiritual awareness, and mystical realization. And what’s most notable is that the knowledge in this book is not foreign or even new. The wisdom of the ages is universal, immemorially enshrined in the depths of every human psyche.

When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds That Sabotage Our Relationships
(2008). In this book, psychotherapist David Richo explores our tendency to transfer potent feelings about people from the past onto the people in our current relationships, whether they are our intimate partners, coworkers, or friends. This can become a major stumbling block in relationships, preventing us from seeing others as they really are. Richo offers valuable insights and practical guidance on how to recognize and free ourselves from this destructive pattern.

Everyday Commitments: Choosing a Life of Love, Realism, and Acceptance
(2007). In this unique book, David Richo offers fifty-two promises we can make to ourselves to help us navigate the ups and downs of daily living in a wise, compassionate, and psychologically healthy way. Each commitment is followed by short, engaging commentary by the author. The book also includes practical exercises—including journaling, contemplation, and guided meditations—to foster inward growth and lasting positive change.

The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know
(2007). Meaningful coincidences and surprising connections occur all the time in our daily lives, yet we often fail to appreciate how they can guide us, warn us, and confirm us on our life’s path. This book explores how meaningful coincidence operates in our daily lives, in our intimate relationships, and in our creative endeavors. Originally published under the title
Unexpected Miracles,
the author has fully revised and updated the book for this edition.

The Sacred Heart of the World: Restoring Mystical Devotion to Our Spiritual Life
(2007). This book presents a spirituality of heart based on the metaphor of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. David Richo explores the symbolism of the heart in world religious traditions. He then traces the historical thread of Christian devotion into modern times with a focus on the theology of Teilhard de Chardin and Karl Rahner to design a devotion that respects the new cosmology. This book may appeal both to Catholics as well as to people from other religious traditions.

Mary Within Us: AJungian Contemplation of Her Titles and Powers
(2007). In
Mary Within Us,
the Jungian archetype of the feminine aspect of God as personified by Mary is shown to be built into the design of every human psyche. This book is about the archetypal and mystical mean ings in the titles of Mary in the universal Church since medieval times.
Mary Within Us
shows how we have always venerated not the literal Mary but the feminine dimension of the divine that she represents and enriches.

The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them
(2005). There are certain facts of life that we cannot change—the unavoidable “givens” of human existence: (1) everything changes and ends, (2) things do not always go according to plan, (3) life is not always fair, (4) pain is a part of life, and (5) people are not loving and loyal all the time. Richo shows us that by dropping our deep-seated resistance to these givens, we can find liberation and discover the true richness that life has to offer. Blending Western psychology and Eastern spirituality, including practical exercises, Richo shows us how to open up to our lives—including to what is frightening, painful, or disappointing—and discover our greatest gifts.

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
(2002). “Most people think of love as a feeling,” says David Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindful ness,
How to Be an Adult in Relationships
explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life.