The Power of Right Believing: 7 Keys to Freedom from Fear, Guilt, and Addiction (14 page)

What are you filling your heart with today—with condemnation or with God’s forgiveness? Beloved, I encourage you to receive His forgiveness and stop punishing yourself. It is the key to not just breaking the cycle of sin and defeat in your life, but to living a life full of love, peace, hope, and victory.

Remember, he who is forgiven much, loves much, and he who is loved most, loves best!

N
ot too long ago, I was driving out for lunch with Wendy, and for some reason, every time she made a passing comment, I found myself snapping irritably at her or making an unnecessarily provocative remark. Every reply of mine had a bite to it, and as you can imagine, the car journey fell into silence pretty quickly. Later during lunch, being the patient lady that my wife is, she asked me, “Darling, is there any reason you are so irritable today?”

Have you had one of those days, where your wife has to ask you a question like that? Well, that was one of those days for me. In case you didn’t know, we ministers of God don’t have “arguments” with our wives; we merely have “intense discussions”! I’m just kidding. Of course there are occasional disagreements in the Prince household. It’s certainly not the norm, but it does come up from time to time, especially when Wendy fails to see my “wisdom.” Can I be real here? Can I be vulnerable with you and share with you my infirmities?

You know, people sometimes run into me on the streets when I am wearing just my jeans, a casual shirt, and a baseball cap. When
they suddenly recognize me, they are astonished and exclaim, “Pastor Prince, you look so different from how you look on your book covers!” Well, of course I look different. Do you honestly think that I go around wearing a three-piece suit or a tuxedo every day?

Relax. I am just having fun and poking holes at how some ministers like to portray themselves as always holy and perfect—every strand of hair in place, appearance and behavior always immaculate. That’s not me. I enjoy being open, authentic, and transparent. I like being the same person on and off the platform. Whether I am standing behind the pulpit or lounging in a café with you, I’m the same person. I love the Word, I love people, and I love pointing imperfect people to Jesus. And I am the first on that list of imperfect people. Even as I am writing this book, I am preaching to myself too from God’s Word.

Now, getting back to my story about that lunch with my wife and why I was so irritable that day, let me say, for the record, that I am generally really good company, so what happened that day was out of character. Of course, as in all things, my wife was the direct “beneficiary” of this bout of irritability. And though I was still not in the best frame of mind, my response to my wife’s question that day was a really good one, if I may say so myself.

I said, “Darling, I don’t know what is wrong with me, but if you see this happening again, please let me know, alright?” And just in case you have some outlandish illusions of me as a husband, let me say that is also
not
the way I respond all the time. I’d rather not get into the details since we have more important matters to discuss in this chapter, but you catch my drift.

My brother, when it comes to learning to love our wives and
being more attentive, caring, and gentle, none of us has arrived. Like any of you husbands, I’m also learning and growing. Praise Jesus for His abundance of grace and the gift of no condemnation!

Could Guilt Be Creeping In?

Wendy’s question—“Darling, is there any reason you are so irritable today?”—made me reflect upon the source of my bad temper with her that day. Could it be fatigue? I thought about whether I had a good rest the night before. I had slept well. I had even managed to sleep more hours than I normally would have.

Then I remembered. Earlier that day I had a little encounter with a relative. It was nothing serious, but I had been questioning the tone of my voice and even the choice of my words. I had not said anything that was inappropriate, but still, I had begun judging myself, thinking, “Maybe I should have just let it go. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that. This person is a relative, after all.”

These were the thoughts that were circling in my head. I was justifying my actions and my words in my mind, but at the same time, I was also unconsciously beginning to feel guilty. Then, later in the day, I was on the phone correcting someone from my team who had made a rather serious blunder. As I put down the phone, I thought to myself, “Was I too hard?”

It was following this incident that I took my wife out for lunch, and you already know what happened when I was with her. All Wendy did was make small talk. She wasn’t the relative, and she wasn’t the person I had corrected over the phone. She was an innocent
(and if I may add, beautiful) bystander at the wrong place at the wrong time! Do you know what I mean?

I realized then that I was so irritable because I was actually feeling guilty. I didn’t necessarily do anything wrong, but I just allowed that little bit of guilt to creep into my heart and unconsciously allowed condemnation to come in. My friend, when you are walking under a cloud of judgment, you can become a really unpleasant person to be around. Trust me, I know what I am talking about. I thank God that when Wendy asked me the question, He gave me that moment of clarity where I could see the condition of my heart.

Praise Jesus for a discerning and perceptive wife who didn’t take my remarks personally and knew something was not right with me. That was why I told her to let me know the next time she noticed such behavior from me because even if you are an author of books about God’s grace and forgiveness, there can be moments where condemnation creeps into your heart and you are completely oblivious to it. All day long you can feel lousy, and all your answers have a sting in them. That’s not the abundant life, and you know what it all comes back to? It comes back to having a constant sense of God’s forgiveness over your life. Instead of taking in and harboring all the guilt, condemnation, and judgment, we need to stand secure in our perfect forgiveness in Jesus.

There is a redeeming quality to being forgiveness-conscious, as opposed to being conscious of your failings, sins, and mistakes. When you are forgiveness-conscious and see your failings on the cross of Jesus, you receive power to break out of your irritability, impatience, and short-temperedness with others. You receive power to break out of your eating disorders, addictions, and anxieties!
When you realize that we don’t deserve God’s forgiveness and grace yet He gives it to us anyway, this revelation of His unmerited favor changes us from within. It dissolves the knots of anger and impatience in us that have built up over the years and frees us to enjoy God’s love and to show it to others.

Grace Is Not Merely Empowerment

The key, therefore, is to receive His grace as unmerited favor and believe that same unmerited favor is what transforms you. There is a teaching going around where grace is defined as “divine empowerment.” Be careful about defining grace as merely empowerment—that is diluting and reducing what grace truly is.

Grace produces divine empowerment, but in and of itself, the essence of grace is His undeserved, unmerited, and unearned favor. When are you in your most undeserving state? When you have failed. Unmerited favor means that when you have failed and are in your most undeserving state, you
can
receive Jesus’ favor, blessings, love, and perfect acceptance in your life. Let me tell you, when you understand and receive grace as God’s unmerited favor, not only will you be empowered, you will be healed, and you will be changed from the inside out.

So be careful what you hear and believe about grace. God’s grace is not a transaction for you to do more and perform more (because you have received more power). No, it is a genuine heart encounter with a Savior who loves you more than you can imagine. It’s not about what
you have to do
, but it’s all about what
Jesus has done
.

The real danger with defining grace as just divine empowerment is that we can unconsciously flip grace around and instead of seeing it as God’s work in our life, we make it our work. From being centered on what Jesus has done, the erroneous definition of grace as “empowerment” swings it to being about what
you
must do and how
you
must perform now that you have received this grace, this “divine empowerment.” Can you see this? With such a definition of grace, the onus to live the Christ life falls back squarely on your shoulders.

My friend, make sure that what you believe in your heart always points you back to Jesus and Jesus alone and not to yourself. Remember, it is all about His work, His doing, His performance, and His love in our lives. It never points back to you. Don’t be hoodwinked by those who move away from the pristine definition of grace as God’s unmerited favor and end up making it all about you and what you need to do. That’s not grace. Grace is God’s doing—from inception and all the way to the end.

Let the Bible Define Grace for You

Did you know that when you read the Amplified Bible, there is a parenthesis next to the word “grace” whenever it appears, and what’s in that parenthesis defines grace as God’s unearned, undeserved, unmerited favor? For example, in John 1:17, it says this: “For while the Law was given through Moses, grace (unearned, undeserved favor and spiritual blessing) and truth came through Jesus Christ.” In another Scripture, Romans 5:17, it says that “those who receive [God’s] overflowing grace (unmerited favor) and the free gift of righteousness [putting them into right standing with Himself] reign as kings in life through the one Man Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).”

So every time you hear the word “grace,” think about Jesus’ unmerited favor. Don’t allow someone else to change the purity of God’s grace in your life. They will quote you definitions of grace from various dictionaries, but at the end of the day, those are man’s definitions. I don’t know about you, but I want the Bible’s definition of grace. Man’s definitions of grace will never equal God’s. It’s best to let Scripture interpret Scripture.

Now, just how does the Bible define grace? Paul, the greatest apostle of grace, describes it very clearly in Romans 11:6: “And if by grace, then it is no longer of works; otherwise grace is no longer grace. But if it is of works, it is no longer grace; otherwise work is no longer work.”

Do you see it? In grace, there is no place for man’s works, pure and simple. For those who teach that grace means “empowerment,”
they tend to skew it toward man’s works and man’s performance. That’s not true grace. Remember that true divine empowerment comes from Jesus, not you.

The New Living Translation renders Romans 11:6 this way: “And since it is through God’s kindness, then it is not by their good works. For in that case, God’s grace would not be what it really is—free and undeserved.” I love that—His grace is
free
and
undeserved
! When you truly experience this free and undeserved favor and love from God, you don’t have to worry about performing. His love and unmerited favor within you will flush out all the wrong thinking and wrong believing, and you will produce good works. You will produce results. You will produce true fruits of righteousness that are lasting, sustainable, and enduring!

God’s Unmerited Favor Brings Effortless Change

I’d like you to picture a strong and healthy tree. A strong and healthy tree does not worry about producing fruit or getting rid of the dead leaves on it. As long as the tree receives the right amount of sunshine, water, and nutrients, it will have healthy sap flowing in it that is brimming with all the right nutrients and that naturally pushes out all the dead leaves. And as long as its inward life—its healthy sap life—keeps flowing, new leaves will spring forth on this tree and good fruits will naturally grow and flourish on all the branches.

My friend, as you begin to receive the sunshine of God’s favor and take in the water of His Word—as you begin to feed on Jesus’
forgiveness in your life and your righteous standing in Christ, the dead leaves of guilt, fear, addictions, and every type of disorder will begin to be pushed out by the new life of Jesus within you. The transformation you will experience, when it is not based on your own discipline and self-control, is truly effortless. It is no longer, “How will I overcome this anger problem?” or “How will I beat this cigarette addiction?” or “How can I curb this habit of overeating when I am stressed and insecure?” Instead, it becomes, “How will
Jesus
in me overcome this anger problem, this cigarette addiction, this habit of overeating?”

The fruits of your success will be effortless. One by one, the addictions, dysfunctions, and negative emotions will begin to drop off from your life like dead leaves, and new leaves (new positive thoughts and attitudes), new flowers (new desires and dreams), and new fruit (new behaviors and habits) will begin to flourish in your life.