Authors: Wendelin Van Draanen
Dave’s heart hammered in his chest. The children were gone. The vardo was gone. All that remained in the isolated area were Damien and Dave (and, of course, Sticky).
Things had come down to a showdown of good versus evil.
Only in this case, evil held both pistols.
Good, it seemed, was doomed.
“I give myself up!” Sticky said as Damien placed the loaded pistol at Dave’s head. “Take the powerband. Take me! Just leave the boy. He only did what I told him to!”
Damien sneered. “I don’t need you, you pesk! I’m through with both of you!”
Now, in your life you will have moments where all will seem lost. The good in you will seem completely quashed by forces beyond your
control, and it will take every fiber of your being to believe that all is
not
lost, that somehow, someway, you can get out from under the painful pinning of the Boot of Evil.
You
must
make yourself believe.
Around the next corner, past the next bend, at the end of the tunnel,
somewhere
, there is light.
Or help.
Or, in this case, a goat.
A six-horned goat, in fact, that remembered this baaaaaad black-coated human from a previous encounter.
A six-horned goat that was (for reasons it couldn’t quite understand) really feeling its oats.
And as Damien held the pistol to Dave’s head and (in a classic villainous manner) savored the deliverance of his dastardly revenge, the goat lowered its head and
charged
.
Now, a charging goat goes nowhere near the speed of sound, but before Damien could react to
the sound of pounding hooves, the goat butted him from behind.
KA-BLAM! the pistol fired (into the dirt, not Dave).
KA-ZAM! went Dave’s and Sticky’s eyes as they watched Damien fly through the air.
KA-THONK! Damien landed nearly twenty feet away.
“Quick,
señor
!” Sticky cried. “Get the shooter!”
Dave snatched the pistol from the ground but said, “I don’t know how to use it!”
“Just conk him on the
cabeza
! It’s only a one-shooter, anyway.”
But as Damien attempted to stagger to his feet, the goat (having displayed just a fraction of the Moongaze potion’s power) curled a lip and
charged
, butting the wicked villain from (and in the) behind.
Damien flew forward, then tumbled over and over and over (and over and over some more).
“Ouchie-huahua!”
Sticky cried. “That has got to hurt!”
With the pistol in hand, Dave chased after the villain, determined to not let him get away
(if, that is, he survived his tumbleweed experience).
Damien’s trip ended, however, where it had begun.
At the (still open) lid to the sewer system.
(The goat, it seemed, had butted a hole in one.)
And although in tremendous pain and only borderline conscious, Damien managed to grasp the edge of the manhole and growl, “I’ll get you, boy!” before he slipped down the hole and disappeared into the stinky river below.
After Dave shoved the manhole cover back in place, he put the Wall-Walker ingot in the powerband and rushed off to intercept the Bandito Brothers. And I’d like to report that Gecko Power is what stopped the vardo heist, but it did not.
The children of Moongaze Maze did.
First, there was the matter of the Brothers making a wrong turn.
Then there was the matter of a dead end.
Then there was the ambush of children with jump ropes and baseball bats and rocks.
And as if that weren’t enough to control Damien’s dead-ended henchmen, there was the small matter of Pablo being tossed from the vardo
by the blind (but apparently deft) potion man, causing the children to discover that he was a hairy-legged man.
The jeers and jokes that followed were merciless and set into motion the children circling the wagon, brandishing their weapons, and (most frightening of all to the Brothers) calling for their parents.
Getting no reception from the communicator, Angelo at last shouted, “We give up!” Then the three Brothers abandoned their mission, rushing past Dave and Sticky as they headed for the hills.
Or, rather, the ridge.
Yes, the Brothers may have ditched their gypsy getups, but they did not ditch their boss. They, instead, returned to the mansion to nurse the battered and bruised (and direly dirty) Damien Black back to health.
Pablo and Angelo kept his wounds clean and his bruises iced.
Tito fed him flaky biscuits and crow stew.
(For the record, Damien didn’t know it was crow—he thought it tasted like chicken. Although the occasional piece of clinging black fuzz should have given it away.)
Despite eating crow, Damien never actually admitted to the Brothers that he’d done anything wrong. He, instead, blamed them and “the boy” and vowed a comeback. (And although Damien displayed great bravado, his cursed nightmares continued, worsened by the fact that some hairy, scary spiders had made wrong turns in the confounding corridors of his mansion and were now roaming about, looking for something to soupify.)
Rosie (who was apparently the smartest of the bunch) did not return to the mansion. She liked being in the mini jungle of Moongaze Maze, and none of the other animals—not even the potion-powered goat—seemed to mind her. (After three solid days of sleep, the potion-powered goat was confused to see her, but it was confused by a lot of things after that. Besides, it had such a fierce and frightening headache that it couldn’t be bothered getting territorial.)
I should also, I suppose, let you know that the
gouges in the Sanchezes’ family room ceiling (and wall) were blamed on Evie.
Dave could not believe his ears, as his extremely sly sister never got blamed for anything. But Evie made the mistake of catnap ping Topaz from next door (because she really, really, really wanted a kitty of her own). It became clear to Mrs. Sanchez from the cat’s screeching and hissing that Evie had tortured the poor feline (which she had, in fact, not), and that the claw marks had come from her swinging the cat by the tail and catapulting her around the room.
The catnapping, of course, gave Lily and her friends something more to tease Dave about, but he just tried to tune them out.
After all, he was the Gecko.
He could walk on walls.
He had
flown
.
(Well, sort of.)
And he and Sticky were tight again.
(Very.)
Sticky had even resumed spending his days at school with Dave, and promised to keep his sticky fingers to himself.
(Or, at least, to try.)
So here we are at the end of the adventure. All the loose ends are tied up and—
What’s that?
Oh.
Oh, right.
The monkey.
Well!
The monkey did, in fact, return to Damien’s monstrous mansion.
Not to reunite with that deadly, diabolical demon of a man.
Oh no.
He returned because he ran out of coffee. (Or, more accurately, the coffee ran out on him.) And (addict that he was) he decided once again
to risk life and limb for a new supply of the good stuff.
Unfortunately for the monkey, Damien had set up an evil-eye monitoring system in his espresso café, and when he saw the monkey pinching the grounds, he hobbled and wobbled through the mansion in time to corner him.
Unfortunately for
Damien
, however, the cornered monkey curled back his lips and flashed a familiar silver and blue grill, shocking Damien so much that he let the monkey get away.
After that, Damien returned to his great room and paced the floorboards (in a stiff, sore, and painfully slow manner), trying to piece everything together and plot a diabolical comeback. When he did, at last, have a tiny little hiccup of a new plan, he hobbled up to his inner sanctum, snatched up his funkydoodle phone, and placed a call to—
Ah, but I’m getting carried away.
I really
must
stop.
Who Damien called and what dastardly, diabolical plan it set into motion is, I’m afraid, a story for another time.
For this story, for today, the time has come to say…
adíos!
adiós
(Spanish /
ah-DEE-ohs
): goodbye, see ya later, alligator
amigo
(Spanish /
ah-MEE-go
): friend, buddy, pal
ándale
(Spanish /
AHN-duh-lay
): hurry up, come on, get a move on
asombroso
(Spanish /
ah-sohm-BRO-so
): awesome, amazing
ay-ay-ay (Spanish and a Sticky favorite): depending on the inflection, this could mean oh brother, oh please, or you have
got
to be kidding
ay caramba
(Spanish and a Sticky favorite /
ai cah-RAHM-bah
): oh wow! or oh brother! or I am not believing this!
ay chihuahua
(Stickynese /
ai chee-WAH-wah
): oh man, oh no
bobo
(Spanish /
BO-bo
): dumb, foolish, silly
cabeza
(Spanish /
cah-BAY-thah
): head
estúpido
(Spanish /
eh-STOO-pee-do
): stupid
excelente picante
(Spanish and Stickynese /
ex-sel-EN-tay pee-CAHN-tay
): excellent and spicy hot!
fieras
(Spanish /
fee-EH-rahs
): wild animals, beasts
freaky frijoles
(Stickynese /
free-HO-lays
): literally, weird beans. But for Sticky, oh wow or how strange
gata
(Spanish /
GAH-tauh
): female cat
genio
beanio (Stickynese /
hay-nee-oh BEE-nee-oh
): genius!
híjole
(Spanish /
HEE-ho-lay
): wow!
holy tacarole / holy guaca-tacarole (Stickynese /
gwah-cuh-tah-cuh-RO-lee
): holy smokes!
hombre
(Spanish /
AHM-bray
): man, dude
horroroso
(Spanish /
hor-or-OH-so
): horrible, terrifying, awful
lobo
(Spanish /
LO-bo
): wolf
loco
(Spanish /
LO-co
): crazy, loony
loco
-berry burritos (Stickynese): literally, crazy-berry rolled tortilla sandwiches. But for Sticky, extra-specially crazy
matón
(Spanish /
mah-TONE
): bully, tough guy
mi’jo
(Spanish /
MEE-ho
): dear, my darling boy. For a girl, you’d say
mi’ja
(
MEE-ha
)
morrocotudo
(Spanish /
mor-ro-co-TOO-do
): fabulous, wonderful
pistola
(Spanish /
pees-TOH-la
): pistol, gun
ratero
(Spanish /
rah-TAIR-oh
): thief
señor
(Spanish /
SEN-yohr
): mister
sí
(Spanish /
see
): yes
vámonos
(Spanish /
VAH-mo-nohs
): let’s go!