The Predator (7 page)

He took a long time to answer. “In some ways, I guess I have.”

In what ways, dammit?

The words formed in her mind and she bit down on her lip and swallowed her thoughts before they could escape. Whatever they’d had together had ended more than four years ago. They were no longer husband and wife, no matter what the law said. She had no room in her life for regrets.

“Here comes Patrick. He probably wants to take a look at my notes on Adam.”

Alex blinked. She was at work. Now wasn’t the time to get sidetracked.

She watched their boss advance in their direction.

“I guess I’d better leave you to it, then,” she muttered, more than pleased for a reason to escape.

He leveled her with an unfathomable look. “I guess so.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

Alex’s thoughts were jumbled as she pulled her Toyota into the garage of her modest three-bedroom Bondi apartment in Sydney’s eastern suburbs. If she stood on tiptoe and looked out the kitchen window, she could catch the tiniest glimpse of the sparkling blue of the Pacific Ocean, but even without the view, the cool, salty smell wafting in on the early morning breeze always managed to lift her spirits.

She sighed and rested her head back against the seat for a moment. Why had she offered Brandon an olive branch? What had she been thinking? It had taken four years, but she’d moved on—hadn’t she?

She didn’t need this complication. Not now. And what was she going to do about Sam?

Exiting the car, she slung her handbag over her shoulder and pulled the garage door closed behind her. Taking a deep breath, she headed up the short flight of stairs to her first-floor unit. She opened the door and stepped into the quiet sanctuary of the entryway.
Home
.

She dropped her bag in its usual spot on the low table near the door. A few short steps took her into the kitchen where her mother sat at the dining table frowning over the morning newspaper, a steaming cup of coffee near her elbow.

“Hi, Mom. I’m home.”

Warm, brown eyes captured hers. Martha Cavanaugh smiled. “Hi, darling. How was your night?”

Memories of the last twelve hours with Brandon rushed to the surface. Alex pushed them aside and forced a smile. “Not too bad.”

“You look tired.”

“I am. It was a long night. How did it go? Did Sam sleep through?”

“Almost. He woke about three and needed to go to the bathroom. He came in and asked me to turn on the light.”

Alex grimaced. “I keep forgetting to pick up a night light from the shops. It only seems like yesterday he was in diapers. Now he’s getting up and going to the bathroom by himself.”

“I know what you mean. It seems like only yesterday I was taking
you
to the bathroom. And here you have a child of your own.” Martha picked up her cup and brought it to her lips, a gentle smile on her face.

Alex smiled back at her and gave her mother’s shoulder a squeeze. “Thanks, Mom.”

“For what?”

“For everything. You know this would be impossible without you.”

“You’ve always been resourceful, Alexandra. I’m sure you would have worked out a way.”

Alex walked over to the cupboard and took out a mug. Flicking on the electric jug, she turned back to her mother.

“Maybe so, Mom. But I’d never have been able to take on night shifts and that would’ve really restricted the types of positions I could apply for.”

A surge of emotion tightened her throat. She swallowed. “I’m—I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me. Life would have been very different for us without you.”

Martha stood and came over to her. Pulling her in close, she pressed a kiss against Alex’s hair. Tears stung the back of Alex’s eyes.

“I love you, Alex, and I love Sam. He’s my only grandchild. Where else would I spend my time?”

Alex shook her head. Her voice was muffled against the thick softness of her mother’s house coat. “You don’t have to say that, Mom. I know you had plenty of friends down in Canberra, plenty of clubs you were part of. I’ve hardly seen you go anywhere since Sam was born.”

Pulling slightly away, Alex dashed the moisture from her cheeks and met her mother’s gaze. “When I’m not feeling so damned grateful about having you in our lives, I feel guilty about taking you away from all that, away from your life.”

“Don’t be silly, Alex. You and Sam are my life. When your dad died…” Tears welled in Martha’s eyes. She brushed them away and cleared her throat.

“The truth is, when your dad died, I was lost. I didn’t know where to turn or what to do. We’d been together for nearly forty years. A lifetime. We’d always done everything together. And suddenly he was gone. And it was just me.”

Martha moved slightly away and directed her gaze out the kitchen window. Alex remained silent, giving her mother the space she needed.

The older woman’s voice choked with emotion when she spoke again. “When you asked me if I’d move closer to you and Sam and help you look after him, it was like a gift from above. Suddenly, I had a purpose in my life again, something to look forward to, a reason to get out of bed.”

She turned and looked at Alex. “You gave me that, sweetheart. And I’ll always love you for it.”

The boiling kettle gave Alex an excuse to turn away. She took the opportunity to swipe at the moisture in her eyes and poured water into her mug.

Martha cleared her throat. “Enough about me. Why don’t you sit down and tell me what’s bothering you. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been able to tell something’s not right.”

The urge to confide in her mother was suddenly overwhelming. Alex drew in a deep breath, picked up her mug and made her way back to the table. Martha followed her.

“You’re right, Mom. Something’s not right.”

Her mother sat beside her, her gaze filled with love and encouragement. “Talk to me, Alex.”

“I-I don’t know where to start.”

“Start where it matters.”

Alex sighed and fixed her gaze on the checked tablecloth. “It’s about Brandon.”

“Brandon? As in, your husband?”

“Ex, Mom. Ex-husband,” she said dryly.

Her mother shrugged. “If you say so. I don’t recall seeing any divorce papers.”

Alex bit her lip. “You know we’re not divorced, Mom. The fact that we’re still legally bound to each other doesn’t make him my husband.”

“If you say so, darling.”

Irritation surged through Alex and she began to have second thoughts about confiding in her mother. Martha seemed to sense her daughter’s change of heart.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. But you know I always liked Brandon. It broke my heart to see the two of you go your separate ways. I’ve never given up hope you might one day reconcile.”

“There’s no hope of that, Mom. But, you might yet get to see him again.”

Martha frowned. “What do you mean?”

Alex pressed her lips together. “I mean, he’s back.”

“Back?”

“Yes, Mom. Brandon’s back.”

Her mother’s eyes went wide. “He’s back? In Sydney? For how long?”

“Yes. As for how long—who knows? He’s just transferred to the CPU. He started a fortnight ago.”

“Oh, Alex. Honey. What are you going to do?”

“Do? I’ll do what I always do. I’ll get out of bed, put a smile on my face and go into work. I’ve been there for more than three years, Mom. I love that job. He’s not going to march in and take over my turf. If anyone’s going to leave, it will be him.”

Her mother looked doubtful. “If he’s only just arrived, I can’t see him wanting to move on any time soon. Did he know you worked there?”

Alex shrugged and took a sip of coffee. “I don’t know. Something tells me he must have known. It just seems too big a coincidence, otherwise. But then, why would he choose to come and work alongside me? I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten how things ended between us. Why would he want to fraternize with the enemy?”

“Maybe he doesn’t see you that way anymore?” It was offered quietly, without inflection.

Alex hung her head in her hands. “I don’t know, Mom. I don’t
know
. I don’t know what he’s doing here. I don’t know what he wants. He says he’s changed, but I don’t know that either.”

“Changed? In what way?”

“That’s the thing. I don’t
know
.” Restless energy surged through her and she pushed away from the table and paced the length of the small kitchen.

“It’s driving me crazy. I’m so tied up in knots at the thought of working with him, it’s interfering with my concentration. We’re in the middle of something huge at work and all I can think about is him. I remember the way we were before we broke up and then I remember why we broke up and the anger just about consumes me. I know it wasn’t all his fault. There were problems with our marriage before he left for Jakarta, but he was the one who returned home one day and announced we were over.”

She dragged in a ragged breath. “He never told me why. He refused to discuss it. He simply told me it wasn’t working and packed his things and left. I’ve never had the chance to rant and rave at him with my fury and my hurt and my shock and my disappointment. I feel like I’ve been robbed of that. That it was my right to scream at him and demand to know why. He owed that to me.”

Alex met her mother’s steady gaze and tears welled again at the love and sympathy she saw there. All of a sudden, the fight went out of Alex. Resuming her seat at the table, she picked up her coffee mug and took another sip.

“I don’t know why I keep resurrecting these old hurts. It was years ago. We’ve both moved on. What good can it do to keep reliving it?”

“Have
you moved on?”

Alex’s fingers tightened around her mug. She forced air into her lungs and concentrated fiercely on the tablecloth.

“Of course I have. Why are you asking?”

“Please don’t get defensive, darling. I’m talking about what I see. It’s been more than four years since your marriage ended. I haven’t even heard you speak about someone who might have caught your interest, let alone seen you go out on a date. You’re a beautiful young woman with her whole life ahead of her and yet, for some reason, you’re not willing to take the next step.” Martha shot her a pointed look. “
That’s
what I’m talking about.”

Alex squirmed in her seat. “Just because I haven’t dated anyone doesn’t mean I’m not over Brandon.” She shrugged and tried to hold her mother’s gaze. “I’ve been busy, Mom. Sam’s only young. It’s not like I can just leave him to go out drinking or dancing or whatever.”

“Why not?” Martha challenged gently.

Heat rose up Alex’s neck. “Well, because… I don’t know. He’s only a baby. He’s my responsibility. I don’t expect you to babysit him so that I can have a social life. I knew what being a single Mom would entail and I embraced it with open arms. I love Sam with everything that I am. I’m certainly not lamenting my lack of social life or a—a
boyfriend
.”

“I know you’re not, sweetheart,” Martha agreed softly. “But I wish you’d stop using Sam as an excuse. He’s no longer a baby. He’s a little boy who’s growing bigger by the day and one day, he’ll go off and find his own life. What’s going to happen to you, then?”

Alex brushed off her mother’s concern. “That’s so far away, Mom, I can’t imagine even giving it a moment’s thought.”

“It’s not as far away as you think, Alex. Look how fast the last four years have gone.”

Alex worried at a thread that had come loose from the tablecloth. Her mother picked up her coffee mug and took another sip. They sat together in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

“Have you told Brandon about Sam?”

Icy tension gripped Alex’s belly and her fingers stilled. She refused to look at her mother. “No.”

“You are going to tell him though, aren’t you? Now he’s back in your life—”

“He’s
not
back in my life.” Her gaze clashed with her mother’s. “We’re work colleagues. That’s
all. You’re not listening to me.”

“I’m not the only one not listening, Alex. I told you more than four years ago you were making a mistake keeping Sam a secret from his father. My feelings haven’t changed. Brandon has a right to know.”

Anger blazed through her. “Brandon has no rights. He didn’t then, and he doesn’t now. He chose to walk out on me and our marriage. He gave up on us. He promised to love me until ‘death do us part.’ Four years in and he does a runner.”

“That’s not fair, Alex. He didn’t know you were pregnant.”

Alex heard the steel in her mother’s tone, but chose to ignore it.

“Would you have stayed if you’d been in my position? If Dad had come home from an overseas jaunt and confessed he wanted to end your marriage? Would you have told him you were pregnant? Would you have chosen to live with the feeling every single day thereafter of not knowing whether he’d even
be
there if it wasn’t for the baby?”

Alex choked on the last word and struggled to catch her breath. “I couldn’t live like that. I couldn’t risk telling Brandon about the baby. I didn’t want him to stay with me out of a sense of duty. I didn’t want to be someone’s
duty.
I wanted to be cherished and loved and adored. I wanted us to be the way we were before babies and broken vows had become a part of our everyday existence.”

Her voice broke. Alex turned away and tried to stem the traitorous tears that threatened to spill over. “But it was never going to happen. I couldn’t turn back time. Neither of us could, even if we wanted to.”

“Good morning, Sam. How did you sleep?”

Alex stiffened at her mother’s words and hurriedly swiped at her tears. Taking a few seconds to regain control, she plastered a smile on her face and turned to greet her son.

“Hey, baby. Did you have a good sleep? Come and give Mommy a kiss.”

He hurtled toward her, his chubby little arms extended. She kneeled and pulled him in close, breathing in his sleepy, little-boy smell. Her heart filled with overwhelming love. He was her life. She’d do anything for him. No one would ever come between them.

She thought of Brandon and desperation nipped at the edges of her consciousness. Despite her earlier fanciful thoughts, she couldn’t run the risk of Brandon discovering he had a son. No matter what her mother said. Sam was hers and hers alone.