The Price of Love (A Price Novel Book 1) (32 page)

The only vacant seat was by me, and Eric took it. This was going to be a long ride. Everyone else laughed and joked on the way, but Eric and I didn’t speak to each other until we were almost there. He leaned over so no one else could hear and said, “I really am sorry you got hurt.” I definitely didn’t want to talk about it, so I just shrugged and smiled a little and looked away. He didn’t bring it up again.

Once we had started on the first round of sushi and sake, I actually started to enjoy myself. I really was going to miss these guys, even Eric. I finally talked to him at the restaurant. Not that I had much choice, since he sat by me. I guessed there was no point in being pissed at him. He hadn’t written that article or taken those pictures. Blaming him was pointless. I decided to get over it. We talked and laughed, and it was like old times. I wondered where he was doing his internship. I didn’t ask, and he didn’t tell me.

After leaving the restaurant, we were all standing outside, waiting for our car and talking, when I heard a bunch of commotion coming from inside. A pack of scum-sucking paparazzi, who always seemed to materialize out of thin air in LA, started walking closer to the entrance of the restaurant. I wondered who was about to walk out, and my stomach got a little nervous. Several bodyguards piled out and began to push people back, including us, so that whoever it was could get out of the restaurant and into the black SUV that had been pulled up in front of the restaurant.

I definitely wasn’t prepared to see Slayde and several other people walk out of the restaurant while we were standing there — but they did. I thought I was going to faint. I could hear my heart beating in my chest, and I was getting tunnel vision.
Is this really happening?
I just concentrated on breathing and standing up. I didn’t want to embarrass myself. He didn’t see me at first; I tried to hide behind Eric.

The bodyguards were trying to get him into the car as quickly as they could, but someone had gotten between him and his vehicle.
OMG, it’s Milly!
One of the bodyguards went to move her, but Slayde stopped him. He walked over and hugged her, and they started talking. I was too far away to hear what they were saying. They both looked in my direction. When Slayde and I made eye contact, I felt my knees weaken, and my heart was beating so fast I couldn’t breathe.

Slayde pushed through all of the crazy people and started toward me. Suddenly everything was in slow motion. He reached out and grabbed my hand. Flashes started going off like crazy, which immediately reminded me where I was and what was going on, but Slayde ignored them.

He smiled. “Hey, Arden. How are you?” he asked. I could see that his eyes were tearing up, and he was blinking back the tears.

I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t speak. Before I knew what was going on, one of the bodyguards grabbed us and said, “I need you to get in the car.”

Slayde told him OK and then turned back to me. “Will you come with me? Please ride with me so we can talk, and then I will drive you home.” I still couldn’t say anything. I just stood there, frozen. After what seemed like forever, and after the bodyguard again asked us to get in the car, I went with him. I saw Milly smiling from ear to ear as I passed her. I was sure she was very proud of herself. Once I thought about it, I was pretty sure she had known all along he would be there.

The closer we got to the car, the more the press got in our faces. It was awful.
This is why I wanted to run. This is what I hated. This is why I was so miserable.
But I realized I wasn’t half as miserable as I had been for the last six weeks, so I went with it.

The bodyguard pushed us both into the car and slammed the door, and we drove off. It took me a second to remember we weren’t alone in the car. Shelley and two guys I didn’t know were also in there. They were clearly intoxicated, but strangely enough, Slayde seemed stone sober. He leaned forward and said something to the driver.

After we were on our way, he grabbed my hand. I noticed that his hand was cold and clammy. He was obviously nervous. He didn’t say anything, but he kissed the top of my head. I had no idea where we were going or what was going on, but after we had gotten a few blocks away from the restaurant, the driver turned down an alley. Slayde helped me out of the car; a black Escalade was waiting for us there. Just Slayde and I got in. The driver looked in the rearview mirror, Slayde said, “To the house,” and we drove away.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To my house.”

“Your house? Or your parents’ house?”

“My house.”

“When did you buy another house?”

“About a month ago.” He looked down at the floor. “I just couldn’t go back to the other house after you left, and eventually I got tired of staying with my parents. So, I bought a little house. It’s not my dream home or anything, but it’s mine and it’s not far from work.” He looked up at me. “What have you been doing? I know you’re almost finished with school. Where are you doing your internship?” He was chewing the inside of his cheek, which he only did when he was really nervous.

“LA,” I said.

“Really?” He looked shocked but then relieved. “I just figured you would go somewhere else. Why did you decide to stay here?”

“I don’t know. Who knows why I do anything these days?” I crossed my arms and looked out the window, extremely uncomfortable.

He turned my face, smiled, leaned over, and kissed my lips softly; he put his forehead on my temple. “I have missed you so much, baby. Are you gonna stay mad at me forever?”

I didn’t know what to say. We had driven up to a gate; the driver punched in a code, and we drove into the garage. Slayde and I got out.

“I thought you were driving me home,” I said.

I saw the disappointment in his eyes. “If you’re ready to go, you know I’ll drive you, but don’t you want to come in for a minute?” I just stood there in the garage, not saying anything in response to his question. I knew if I went in there, it was going to change everything. I wasn’t sure how, so I was afraid and just stood there staring at him like a deer in headlights. Finally he gave up. “Just let me go get my keys.” He sighed and went inside.

I had no idea what I wanted. I really wanted it to be three months ago and to be curled up in our bed at our house, but I guessed that was out of the question.

Slayde was taking a while. Tired of standing in the garage, I finally decided I was here, and he obviously wanted me here, and so I walked inside.

His house was a typical bachelor pad. There was a flat screen in every room. It was all clean-cut lines and big open areas, without a bunch of distractions on the walls. I walked into his bedroom, and to my shock, the first thing I saw was a picture of Slayde and me on his nightstand. It would be hard for him to bring another girl in there with that staring at them.

Walking out of his bathroom, Slayde found me looking at the picture. He smiled but looked embarrassed. “That’s still my favorite picture,” he said quietly, looking down at his feet. He looked very nervous.

It shocked me how unsure he was of himself. He looked so vulnerable. Maybe he always had been, but it was hard to see it through his intimidating, gorgeous exterior. I reminded myself he couldn’t help being gorgeous. He was just being himself.

He hurts just like everyone else. He gets scared just like everyone else. He’s just human.
I felt really bad. I was guilty of doing what I got so pissed at the rest of the world for: making him this larger-than-life object. Forgetting that he was just a regular guy, like everyone else, I’d expected him to live by a larger-than-life standard. That wasn’t fair. He had never expected anything of me that I wasn’t easily capable of, but I hadn’t given him the same respect in return.

I loved him without all the larger-than-life stuff. Just for him — and he loved me too. It was like I was finally seeing him clearly. I needed to relax and try and breathe. He wanted me to talk to him, obviously, or I wouldn’t be there. I could tell he wanted me there just as much as I wanted to be there.

“Would you fix me a drink?” I asked and sat down on his bed.

He looked up with a huge smile. “Sure. Usual?”

“Sounds perfect.”

He came back a few minutes later with my fresh apple martini. “So, you still want me to take you home? You know it would be nice if you just stayed here tonight. We could catch up. I wouldn’t touch you, pinkie swear.” He held out his pinkie.

I didn’t grab it as quickly as I used to. I looked down and thought for a second.
It’s not like I would be in danger here.
Milly knew where I was, and I really would love to sleep snuggled up to him again. I thought for a few more seconds and said, “OK!”

“Really?” His eyes widened in surprise. “I’ll get you something to wear.”

He handed me one of his old shirts and some boxers, and I went into his bathroom to get ready for bed. I couldn’t go to sleep without brushing my teeth. I guessed his toothbrush would have to do — I hoped he didn’t mind. He was already under the covers, flipping through the channels, when I came out of the bathroom. It almost felt like old times. Turning off the TV, he pulled the covers back, and I slid in beside him. Well, kind of beside him. I wouldn’t dare get close enough to touch him.

“Are you and Milly getting an apartment?” he asked.

“No, Milly is moving to Long Beach with Eddie.”

“That’s right! So, who are you moving in with?”

I waited a minute and said, “Mom, for now. I don’t know what I want to do. I guess I haven’t really been as excited about all of this as I should be.”

He looked like he was very surprised. “That’s interesting, for sure. You haven’t lived with her in eight years. How do you think that is going to go over?”

“I’m sure it will go over great at first but end up like a category five hurricane by the time I get out of there. Gia still lives there, so I’m not really excited about it,” I admitted, laughing.

“You know, I have three extra bedrooms — and the other half of this bed — if you don’t want to go to your mom’s,” he said and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. He looked serious. Like he really wanted me to come stay.

“I’m sure that would be great for your love life.” I was only fishing.

“Love life? I have no love life.” He laughed.

“Yeah, right.”

“I swear.” He looked down and said, “I am in love with somebody, but I guess she doesn’t feel the same anymore. I haven’t been able to move past that yet. What about you?”

I looked away. I could feel tears fill my eyes. “I guess I’m in the same place as you.” I felt the first tear roll down my cheek.

“What does Eric think about that?”

That caught me off guard. “Eric?”

“He was standing guard over you tonight. I was afraid you were together.”

“Hell no. That’s actually the first time I’ve spoken to Eric since you and I split up.”

“Really?” He looked surprised.
Why is he always worried about Eric?
“I figured you two had probably gone out or something.”

“Absolutely not. I haven’t gone out with anybody. Have you?” I wasn’t really sure that I wanted to know the answer to that, but it was too late now.

“No. Just work and home for me. I haven’t so much as looked at anybody else since you.” Now it was his turn to choke up. “If you had just one wish in the world, and it could be anything, what would it be? And be completely honest.”

I pulled away. “Gosh, Slayde, that’s really putting me on the spot.” I thought a minute, and I decided to be honest. “I wish I could go back to the morning you proposed. I would do so many things differently.”

“You would have said no?”

“No, I would have still said yes, but I would have done things differently. I would have enjoyed every night I got to sleep next to you. I wouldn’t have rushed off to class. I would have relaxed and enjoyed every moment I was with you.” I couldn’t stop the tears at that point, and I didn’t care. I wasn’t just being honest with him but also with myself. “I would have given you the benefit of the doubt. I would — ”

And he kissed me. “You wouldn’t have walked away?” he asked, when he pulled away.

“I wouldn’t have walked away.” I finally admitted, through what seemed like a gallon of tears.

We were both crying, and he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I didn’t care about anything else at the moment but being with him. We made love like we had never been apart. Afterward, we just lay there and held each other. It was like neither one of us dared let the other one go.

“I’m so tired of trying to force myself to stay away from you,” he said.

“Then why were you? It’s not like you didn’t know where I was.”

“Arden, you’re the one who doesn’t know what you want. I know exactly what I want. I always have. You — but me wanting you is not enough. You have to want me back.”

“I do want you,” I whispered.

“Then why have you been doing this?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I’m scared.”

“Of what?” he asked.

“Losing you.”

He laughed sarcastically. “That makes a lot of sense. You’ve done nothing but push me away. If you don’t love me, or can’t see a future with me, or don’t feel the same, then say that. It’s definitely not what I want to hear, but at least I would know.” I wasn’t sure what to say or if I could even speak without crying again. Then he said, “I’ve never had a problem walking away from anyone in my life, but I can’t walk away from you, Arden. I just can’t. Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way. Are you happy? Have you been happy since you left?”

“No. I’ve been miserable,” I admitted.

“Then do something about it. You’re the only one who can. I can’t make you be with me. I would if I could, I swear, but I want you to want to be with me for the rest of your life.”

“I do,” I whispered.

“Are you sure?”

“Very sure,” I said.

“Then let’s work this out. Let’s stop hurting each other. This is senseless. What do I have to do to make you believe me? I did not kiss Shelley Spencer. I will never cheat on you. Ever! I love you.”

“I believe you,” I said.

He looked so relieved. “Nothing has been done between us that can’t be undone, you know,” he said.