The Price of Pleasure (22 page)

He gurgled in her arms and Tori smiled. She hadn't forgotten how to hold one, but she had forgotten how much she loved them.

She caught Grant looking at her with the baby, his eyes soft. She knew he didn't even realize it. Nicole must have seen it as well, because she said, “Is that Derek calling for me? That man can't do for himself for three minutes. Just put Geoff back down when you're through visiting.” With that, she breezed from the room.

Tori's eyes grew wide. She was leaving them here with the baby?

She and Grant stared at the door. “I think you're doing fine,” Grant said, facing her. “I think.”

“It's just that…” She faltered. “It's been so long.”

Geoffrey grasped a curl and tugged.

“He likes you.”

She lifted her chin. “There's a lot about me
to
like.”

His voice low, he said, “Yes, there is,” and completely deflated her challenge.

She recalled that she was being civil to him now. “You should touch his cheek. There's nothing like a baby's cheek.”

He did, and Geoff grasped his finger. Grant looked down at him in a way Tori could never have imagined, and her heart twisted. When the baby's hand drooped and he fell back to sleep, they laid him in his crib and silently returned to the great room.

For the next hour, Tori studied Grant and his family. Derek was obviously smitten with his wife. Looking at Nicole, Tori wondered how he couldn't be. Besides having a unique beauty, she was clever with a cutting wit that she used to tease and cajole laughs. She made what was an uncomfortable situation enjoyable. Except with Grant. He didn't join in the conversation, but stared down at his drink.

To Tori's amazement—and approval—Nicole beaned him with a chestnut. He jerked his head up, glowering, but before he could say anything, she related, “You just missed Lassiter and Maria. They came over before Christmas but left right after for their honeymoon.”

“Your father married his business partner?” Grant asked in a surprised tone.

Nicole nodded happily.

“Yes, Grant,” Derek began with a feigned look of disappointment, “as you can imagine, I was crushed that Nicole's father couldn't stay longer.”

Grant reluctantly explained to Tori, “Derek and Lassiter didn't get on well—”

“They despised each other,” Nicole interrupted, “but now they only
act
as though they don't like one another.”

Derek coughed suspiciously.

Nicole eyed him in mock stern fashion, then turned her attention back to Tori. “So, how long can you stay? Tell me you'll stay for New Year's?”

Tori looked to Grant. He answered, “We need to get her to Belmont. The earl's waited long enough.”

“The roads to the Court are tricky,” Derek said.

Grant frowned. “They were passable here.”

“There's not much traffic up there.” Derek cast a look at Tori as if deciding how to word his concern. “There's simply no maintenance on those roads.”

“How long?”

“If more snow doesn't fall, I think a week or so.”

“A week.” His tone was aghast.

Tori stood in disgust. “Your estate will still be there.” Spine straight, she strode from the room.

She could still hear Nicole say, “Grant! She's going to think you're anxious because you don't want to be around her.”

“She'd be right.”

Tori ran to her room, covering her face as tears streamed down.

J
ust what do you find so distressing about her presence, Grant? Her courage and strength? Her beauty?” Palms up, Nicole demanded, “What?” When he said nothing, she looked at Derek and then Grant, glaring at both before following Victoria.

Derek raised his eyebrows. “I'll bite. Why wouldn't you want to be around her?”

“I'm hoping my life will return to normal when she's gone. I'm hoping I'll sleep through the night and that I'll be able to—” He stopped himself. Be able to not have his thoughts on her each hour of every day. “Victoria's too tempting to have around.”

Derek scoffed,
“You?
Fighting temptation?”

He rubbed his palm across the back of his neck. “Fighting it like a doomed man.”

“I thought you weren't bothered by what plagues us mere mortals. Well, why fight it?”

“Myriad reasons,” Grant said, trying to end the path of the conversation.

“Such as…”

“I think we're mismatched. I worry this would end up like you and Lydia.”

“Not unless she's
evil.”
At Grant's scowl, he continued, “Nicole had a point. The girl seems sweet, and you can't keep your eyes off her.”

Grant exhaled. “Yes, that's true. But she's not the type of woman I'd marry. I need a proper English bride, someone less”—he paused as he cast about for a word—“less…”

Less what? Extroverted? Grant rather liked that about her. Outspoken? He'd grown used to that and wouldn't change it. Less self-confident to the point of arrogance? No, he loved that. “I just need someone who's
less
. Someone who is constant and pleasant. Someone who is, above all else,
predictable.”
So he wouldn't have this turmoil.

“Where have you gotten this distorted view of women?”

Grant shot to his feet. “The example of my brothers! Your life was devastated because of a woman. William's was
ended.”

“William's was ended because he drank too much and fought a duel when he was sauced.”

“He was fighting over a woman.”

Derek shook his head. “He was fighting because he was proud and reckless. He could have backed out of it. And I should have handled things differently.”

“Both those paths would have been dishonorable.” He pressed his fingers against his forehead. “And what about Victoria? I worry that she only thinks she wants me because I was the first man she saw as a woman. What if she later finds another? Someone she wants more than me?”

“That could happen in any marriage,” Derek insisted. “But I've seen her looking at you as well, and I see more than simple infatuation. Besides, didn't she spend several months with Ian? For some reason, women can't resist him. Since Victoria did, well, your theory's flawed.”

“She and Ian acted like mischievous siblings the entire voyage. There's a bond there, but it's not romantic.”

“So?…”

“So, that still doesn't change the fact that Victoria didn't have a real childhood, she was cheated out of parents, and now I'm to cheat her out of courtship as well? And she's clearly told me she wants to experience that with other men. If I married, I would never divorce. I don't want to wake up every morning knowing I have an awful marriage, but am still trapped in it.” He stared at the fire. “Just a simple English bride for me.”

“There's something that might get in the way of your marriage to the imaginary paragon.”

Grant raised his eyebrows at him.

“You're in love with Victoria.”

 

As Tori sat yanking her brush through her hair, giving the mirror black looks, she heard a light knock on her door.

“Are you awake?” Nicole asked.

Embarrassed by her behavior, Tori debated not answering, but in the end she welcomed the new company.

“I'm awake. Come in.”

Nicole strolled in—again as if they were old friends. Or even sisters, when she asked to finish Tori's hair. She picked up strands and brushed them to the ends, humming, lulling Tori, and then…“So, how long have you been in love with Grant?”

Tori's gaze leapt to the glass to meet Nicole's. But could she really be surprised? She loved him so much, she wondered why others couldn't feel it bursting out of her. She shrugged as though it were unimportant. “He doesn't return the sentiment.”

“I think he does,” Nicole said with a quick stroke of the brush.

“It matters little anyway. I've moved past him.”

The brush slowed. “Uh-huh.”

“Perhaps not completely, as in the utterly sense. But he doesn't like me.” Tori felt questions bubbling up inside her. Nicole was a woman her age. One who understood love and marriage. “I don't understand it. He thinks I'm physically attractive, but then he doesn't like how I behave.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because I overheard him say it.”

Nicole grimaced and muttered, “Grant, you dolt.” Moving to Tori's side, she grabbed her hand. “I've never seen him look at anything like he looks at you. He's in love with you,” she said in a satisfied tone.

Tori shook her head. “If only that were true.”

“You'll see that it is. Now get some sleep.” Nicole patted her hand, then rose. At the doorway, she turned back and said, “Just give Grant time.”

After Nicole left, Tori dropped into her new bed and gazed up at the patterned ceiling, but against her predictions, she didn't sleep. It was as though her body protested the softness. Or that she was restless when she thought about how much her life had changed in the last few months. She eventually dozed off in the strange room, wondering where Grant was and if he was sleeping better than she.

 

Their first full day at Whitestone was spent at leisure. Tori joined Derek and Nicole for breakfast, and made her excuses for Cammy, who hadn't yet risen.

Between bites, Tori observed the married couple. Derek whistled at the sideboard and gave his wife long looks, at which she would flush and bite her lip. Tori gathered they were a passionate couple. She'd always wondered if others were like her own parents—holding hands, laughing, sharing smiles they thought were secret. She'd shared passion with Grant but never the smiles and teasing. Never the ease.

When Grant came down, he eschewed food and took only coffee. Tori wondered how he could pass up the sideboard laden with sausages, breads and jams, eggs, and creams, then realized he was anxious to get away from her. Their silence became strained. Derek and Nicole had shown her every kindness, and she didn't want them made uncomfortable because of Grant's and her discord. Tori determined to be polite. “Did you sleep well?”

So much for politeness. His eyes narrowed, and he looked at her as though she should have known he hadn't. “Not particularly. And you?”

Not wanting to insult her hosts, she stretched her arms in front of her, and lied, “I slept very well.” She didn't know if it was the words or the contented sigh that accompanied them that irritated him so much, but he pushed out of the chair so fast it grated, resounding across the tiled floor, then stalked from the room. Nicole gave her a sympathetic smile, while Derek stared at the door as though he didn't recognize the man who'd exited it.

Later, when Derek and Grant rode out to inspect the property, Nicole led Tori on a tour through the home, culminating in a spacious library. Tori spun around in wonder.
Books. Beautiful books. So many.
She ran her fingers down the spines, marveling at the impressions and intricate designs.

Tori eyed the floor-to-ceiling shelves. “There are more than you could possibly read in a lifetime.”

“That's true. So I'll point out my favorites that you might enjoy, especially the lurid, titillating ones,” Nicole added with a chuckle.

When they'd collected a stack of books for Tori, they drank tea, looked at fashion plates, and ate succulent oranges from Whitestone's orangery. They played with Geoff, who was the winningest baby Tori had ever known. She felt disappointed when his nanny, a cherubic older Scotswoman, took him for his nap. The woman, whom everyone called Nanny because she'd cared for so many babies over the years, clearly adored the boy. In fact, when Lady Stanhope wanted to take him, Nanny cheekily said, “'Tis no' your turn, milady.”

And when Cammy woke for each of her
three
luncheons, Tori and Nicole joined her. That night, Cammy made it to dinner, and the mood became celebratory. Though her hair was as fiery as ever, her skin seemed translucent against the gray of her silk brocade dress. But she didn't look like she'd have to bolt from the table at any moment. In fact, she ate more than Nicole and Lady Stanhope combined.

Tori found herself looking for Grant a few times early in the evening, but he never appeared. She hated that she'd been looking. Worse, she'd been caught looking by his eagle-eyed mother.

The next morning, Tori went straight to Cammy's room and found her just finishing breakfast. Dishes of food, empty dishes, cluttered a tray.

“Good morning, Tori.”

“To you as well.” She couldn't say if Cammy looked any better, though she certainly didn't look worse.

Cammy saw her eyeing the tray, and blushed. “It's just all so good. I don't think I've ever
tasted
like I do now. The food textures are so vivid.”

“I'm proud of you! Let's set a goal to clean Whitestone out of food,” she said with a laugh. “Do you feel up for a walk?”

“Yes, I believe I do.”

“Good. We can walk the halls. The house is as large as”—her brows drew together—“well, it's big.”

“I was thinking outside,” Cammy said.

Tori had been getting increasingly restless and felt a jolt of excitement at the idea. She walked to the window and opened the heavy damask curtains. “There's snow.”

“I used to love the snow,” Cammy admitted. “I miss the odd, hollow quiet of it.”

“I don't know if this is a good idea.”

Cammy's tone became brisk. “Tori, it'll either cure me or kill me, and frankly, I'm ready for a decision to be rendered!”

Half an hour later, Nicole was making sure they were bundled in cloaks, scarves, and gloves, entreating them to take a nice
long
walk. They wanted Nicole to join them, would've insisted on it, but she seemed very excited about staying. Little wonder. Lady Stanhope was with Geoffrey in her apartments. Grant had disappeared and Nicole's two guests were setting off for the morning. Tori would have laid odds that Nicole found her husband directly after their departure.

So Cammy and Tori strolled the grounds, Cammy pointing out a few trees or birds unfamiliar to Tori, but she confessed she'd forgotten most of them herself. They came to a small hill, small to Tori, but Cammy was sizing it up as if they'd met a mountain.

“I think I can do it.”

“But you might—”

“Then it's settled,” Cammy interjected as she started forward.

I know the ending to this story.
Tori rolled her eyes and had no choice but to follow. She could hear Cammy's labored breathing, but Tori knew she had a determination unparalleled. When Cammy took the last slow step to the top, her color was high, but she didn't look the worse for it. She appeared…triumphant.

“Oh, look, there's Grant,” Cammy said between breaths.

Tori's head whipped around. She spotted him on a huge horse, just emerging from a snow-covered orchard in the distance. He directed his horse to the riverbank and then appeared to give it free rein.

“And look at that orchard. Would've been nice to have on the island, wouldn't it?”

Tori dimly heard her. She was rapt, watching him.

“Tori, it's clear your feelings haven't faded.”

“Hmmm?” She dragged her gaze from Grant. “What was that?”

“Your feelings for Grant. Still as powerful as before?”

“More's the pity.” Tori sighed. “Unrequited hurts.”

Cammy shook her head. “No, he's in love with you. Anyone with eyes can see that.”

Tori gave her a cheerless smile. “He made his feelings toward me more than clear.”

“When Ian comes to visit, you should ask him about it,” Cammy suggested.

“I will, but I think in this case, the reality is as simple as it appears,” she said sadly, then turned to descend.

On the return to the manor, they came upon the head gardener's children playing fetch with a bounding, white dog. Their laughter and play trickled over Tori, easily altering her mood, and soon she was rolling in the snow with them, learning to make snow angels. Cammy clapped when the dog rolled with them, making his own rendition.