The Prince Charming Hoax (34 page)

“
I don
’
t know who did it or how, but thank you to the wonderful woman responsible for that,
”
Roxie pointed to the quiet little ones when she returned.
“
And don
’
t the two of you look all cuddly on the couch. I guess that
’
s the pay-off in the mommy business.
”

Ali got up and hugged Roxie.
“
Thanks for coming with my mom, Roxie. You know, somehow I think we
’
re all related.
”

“
Ali, you are a genius,
“
Leah said and looked around distractedly.
“
Where
’
s my purse? I need my journal.
”
She got up and gave Ali another hug and kiss.
“
You are definitely my daughter,
”
she whispered and disappeared into the kitchen.

Chapter
28

Leah woke up confused.
What was she doing in her mother
’
s bedroom?
She thought she was dreaming until she remembered she was at David
’
s house. After her mother
’
s death a few years before, Leah gave away most of her furniture. The only items of value were the dining room and bedrooms sets. The beautiful antiques didn
’
t fit in with the contemporary style of her Florida home, so Leah shipped the dining room and the bedroom sets to her brother.

It was odd to be in Vanessa
’
s bed in this setting. Her eyes traveled around the room, resting on the dresser, wardrobe, vanity desk, and mirror.
This room is too small for all this furniture,
she thought.

Leah sat up and ran her hand along the carved headboard, remembering how, as a little girl, she would climb into this bed on Sunday mornings and pretend to read a book while Vanessa read the newspaper. Sometimes her mother read a story to her. And when Leah was sick and home from school, Vanessa let her stay in this bed all day and watch television.

It was comforting to be in Vanessa
’
s bed now. Leah wondered if David and Carol replaced the mattress, or if she was sleeping on the same one where her mother had slept. She breathed in deeply, hoping to catch a whiff of her mother
’
s scent, but all she could smell was the odor of freshly laundered sheets.

It didn
’
t matter. Even though she didn
’
t actually feel Vanessa
’
s presence as she sometimes did, she felt the safety she associated with her mother. Lying in Vanessa
’
s bed gave Leah the strength to do something she had been toying with since she began planning a trip to New York. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand, heart pounding as she dialed. After one ring she heard a familiar deep voice.

“
Douglas Dowling.
”

“
Hi, it
’
s me.
”
Leah held her breath during a pause that seemed endless.
I should have called his office and left a message with his secretary. He
’
s probably in a meeting.

“
Leah! It is so good to her your voice. For a moment, I wasn
’
t sure if it was really you or my mind playing tricks on me. I was just thinking about how much I wished I could talk to you again. And you called! My God, how are you? Where are you?
”

Now it was Leah
’
s turn to be momentarily speechless. Hearing his voice brought back memories of late night and early morning phone conversations when they
’
d pretend they were in bed together. They would whisper descriptions of what they were doing to each other, and she
’
d close her eyes, letting his voice direct her hands to where he wanted to be. Leah quickly pushed those thoughts away and focused on the present.

“
I
’
m at David
’
s house in Philadelphia with Roxie. Ali has been at Debbie
’
s for the past few weeks. Where are you?
”

“
In a cab on the way to my office. Leah, it
’
s really remarkable that you called me now. I have so much to tell you.
”

“
I feel the same way. And that
’
s why I called. I
’
m taking the train to New York on Friday with Roxie, Ali, and Debbie. Will you still be in town then?
”

“
I will be if I can see you.
”

Leah didn
’
t want him to misunderstand.
“
I just want to talk, Doug. Can we meet for lunch or a drink?
”

“
Let
’
s make it lunch. I know I
’
m free then. What time are you getting in?
”

“
We
’
ll arrive in Penn Station shortly after ten o
’
clock. I
’
ll call you after we check into our hotel.
”

“
Where are you staying?
”

Leah
’
s attention was diverted as Roxie came bounding through the door.
“
You are not going to believe—
”
Seeing Leah on the phone, she stopped short, but Leah waved her in.

“
I have to go now. I
’
ll call you Friday.
”
Leah clicked off the phone and sat up quickly.

“
Roxie, what is it? You look ready to explode.
”

“
I just got off the phone with my boss—I mean, that bitch—Iris, who informed me my services were no longer needed at her agency. I can
’
t fucking believe her. I practically am her whole goddamn business. Who the hell does she think she
’
s kidding?
”

Leah motioned for her to lower her voice.
“
What exactly did Iris say?
”

“
She said she regretted losing me, but it was no longer in the best interest of her company to be affiliated with me.
”

“
Roxie, you did call all your clients like we discussed, didn
’
t you?
”

“
Yes, and except for the Millers, who I really hadn
’
t started anything with yet, they all were all more interested in finding out who else belonged to that club than worried about being associated with me.
”

“
So, it
’
s unlikely that Iris got customer complaints. You
’
re right. She is a bitch. But, that
’
s going to be the way it goes for a while, Roxie. You
’
ll find out who your real friends are, but you better prepare yourself for some more unpleasant surprises like Iris. It
’
s bound to happen.
”

Roxie sighed.
“
My answering machine at home is filled to capacity with messages from newspaper, magazine, and television reporters asking for interviews. We have deal with this now.
”

Leah jumped out of bed and grabbed her bathrobe.
“
Did you write down the names and contact info of the reporters who called you?
”

Roxie nodded.

“
Good. Get the list and meet me downstairs for breakfast. I
’
ll tell you who you need to get back to right away and who can wait. Then while you
’
re making your calls, I
’
ll go over and get Debbie excited about going to New York.
”
Leah stretched and adjusted her robe as she headed for the bathroom, still thinking about everything that needed to be done.

Roxie grabbed Leah before she could leave the room and gave her a hug.
“
Hey, this isn
’
t turning out to be much of vacation for either of us. I want you to know how much I appreciate you. And, you can always count on me to be there for you, too. No matter what.
”

“
That
’
s good. Now I
’
m not afraid to tell you that I was talking to Doug when you barged in before.
”
Leah grinned at Roxie
’
s shocked expression.
“
Come on. Let
’
s eat breakfast, and I
’
ll tell you all about it.
”

Chapter
29

It wasn
’
t quite as easy as Leah had expected, but on Friday, Debbie was next to her on the 8:56 a.m. train to Penn Station. The seating was purposely arranged so that the two morning people could sit together and chat and the other two could sleep during the hour and fifteen minute train ride. Across the aisle, Ali strategically positioned a pillow between her head and the window and was settling in to resume her snooze. Roxie had her seat reclined and her eyes closed.

Debbie sat in the window seat and fidgeted with her purse handle. Leah followed Debbie
’
s gaze out the window to the platform where a woman stood holding up an infant and waving to someone on the train. She put her hand over Debbie
’
s.
“
You know, Sweetie, I got tickets to that show you and Ali want to see, but I haven
’
t read anything about it yet. Can you tell me what it
’
s about?
”

“
CarTunes?
”
Debbie asked without turning around.

“
That
’
s the one. I
’
d never heard of it before yesterday when Ali asked me if we could go. I
’
m so out of the loop when it comes to theater. I enjoy symphonies, ballets, and most dance performances in Florida, but theater is not the same when it
’
s not Broadway. So, I
’
m really excited about this performance. Has the show gotten good reviews?
”
Leah pulled lightly on her niece
’
s arm.

Debbie turned around.
“
Don
’
t worry, Aunt Leah. I won
’
t jump ship. I was just thinking how nice it was to be traveling with only one little suitcase and this tiny purse instead of toting around a big, bulky diaper bag, like that woman.
”
She looked over as she pointed out the window, but the woman could no longer be seen as their train pulled out of the station.

Leah squeezed Debbie
’
s hand.
“
I hope you left room in that tiny suitcase for all the new clothes and things we
’
re going to buy.
”

“
Let me tell you about a little tactic my mother uses to trick my father,
”
said Debbie.
“
When they come into New York, she ships everything she buys home. She says she does it to avoid paying the New York sales tax, but I know she really doesn
’
t want my father to see it all. So, don
’
t worry about the size of my suitcase. It
’
s easier to ship the stuff than to carry it, anyway.
”

Leah was impressed.
“
Who said you can
’
t teach an old dog new tricks? Wait
‘
til I share this with Roxie. It will revolutionize her out-of-town shopping trips!
”

Debbie looked across the aisle and pointed at their sleeping companions.
“
Guess you
’
ll have to wait until we get there to tell her.
”

Leah laughed.
“
That doesn
’
t surprise me. I love those two, but they are the worst traveling companions for me because their internal clocks are set to a different time zone than mine.
”

Debbie chewed on her lip.
“
Aunt Leah, I
’
m sorry I yelled at you and Roxie the other night. I was feeling so guilty about leaving the babies and not being a capable mother that I took out my frustration on you. And then I totally blew it when I ran in and try to take over. I guess I wanted find fault with all of you so I could make myself feel better by proving that no one else could do it either.
”

“
Stop beating yourself up. You were acting on instinct. You came in, heard your babies crying, and went to soothe them. Don
’
t you get it, Sweetie? You did what you did because you
’
re a good mom, not a bad one.
”

“
But I had no right to yell at you and Roxie that way.
”

“
Don
’
t worry about Rox and me. We
’
re thicker skinned than that. And we understand how ignoring our inner wisdom can lead to making bad decisions.
”

“
What do you mean?
”

“
I mean you let your core beliefs rule your behavior, not some imposed set of rules or guidelines. You know that silly joke about kids not coming with instruction manuals, like computers?
”

Debbie nodded.

“
Well, they do, but the instructions are internal, not printed out in some book.
”

“
Now I
’
m really confused.
”

“
Everything you need to know about caring for your children—and yourself, for that matter—is within you, Debbie. What you need to learn is how to access it. Just follow your natural instinct to love, protect, and nurture your children, and do your best to ignore outside influences that make you doubt what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do.
”

“
I wish it were that easy.
”

“
I never said it was easy. And it
’
s made more difficult by hundreds of years of rhetoric telling women that they
’
re not smart or capable of making good decisions. But, that
’
s a fallacy, Debbie. Women
’
s intuition is a real and powerful internal wisdom, and the sooner we learn to let it guide us, the better off we
’
ll be.
”

“
Is that what you meant when you said you and Roxie have made bad decisions when you didn
’
t listen to your inner wisdom?
”

“
Yes. But I
’
m ready to start learning from my mistakes instead of repeating them.
”

Debbie leaned over and hugged Leah tightly.
“
What
’
s that you said to me before? Oh, yes. Stop beating yourself up!
”

Leah smiled.
“
You
’
re right. You see? When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear.
”

“
Do you really think I could teach you anything you don
’
t already know?
”

“
What makes you think I have all the answers, Debbie? Believe me, we need each other. In fact…
”
Leah stopped talking suddenly. An idea popped into her head, but she needed to let it brew before continuing.

Debbie waited for Leah to complete the sentence. After a moment, she waved her hand in front of Leah and said,
“
In fact…what?
”

“
I
’
ve started writing a new book, a novel. I guess some people in the industry would call it chick lit for boomers, but the gist of the story applies to all women. The book is only one part of a total project I
’
m planning, though. And, just now—talking to you about needing and learning from each other—I realized that you could play an important role in this project, if it interests you. And,
”
Leah smiled, eyes twinkling,
“
I think it will.
”

Debbie wriggled excitedly like a child holding a gift-wrapped package.
“
What is it?
”

Leah reached into her carry-on bag and pulled out a folder.
“
Here
’
s the outline I put together before coming to Philadelphia. Would you read it and tell me what you think, and more importantly, if you want to be a part of it?
”

“
Wow, Aunt Leah, I
’
d love to read it. I can
’
t imagine what I could do now, with the babies and all, but I
’
ll do whatever I can to help you.
”
Debbie took the folder and thumbed through the pages.
“
Do you think I can finish all this before we get to New York?
”

“
Even if you can
’
t finish the whole thing, you
’
ll be able to read enough to get the idea. And we can talk more about it in the next couple of days.
”

Debbie nodded, settled comfortably in her seat and began reading. Leah took out the notebook she always kept handy.

She leaned back, pen to her lips. After a few minutes, she found herself still chewing on the pen instead of writing, thinking about Doug. On one hand, she wanted have a civil discussion about the ending of their relationship. They had been through too much together to let it end so badly. On the other, she instinctively feared that seeing him again would lead to her acting against her better judgment. Restless and wanting to escape the discomfort of her thoughts, she threw the notebook and pen back in her purse and jumped up. Debbie looked over at her, startled.

“
Sorry, Debbie. I
’
m going to explore the train. I won
’
t be gone long.
”

Debbie nodded and went back to the manuscript. Leah glanced up and down the aisle, and decided to head toward the front of the train. It didn
’
t matter which way she went— she just needed to move.

Walking through the train, however, proved more difficult than she thought. The aisles were narrow, and she felt as if all eyes were on her as she tried to balance herself as the train jostled her about.

Two cars forward was the Bar Car, where refreshments were served. Leah ordered a tea and English muffin and sat down at table near a window. It was bad enough when the demons visited in the dark, but now she had to face her fears in the daytime without an escape route. She pulled her journal and gel pen from her purse again and started to write, but instead of gliding over the page, the pen scratched the paper and left faint ink marks.

Leah threw the pen back in her purse in disgust. It had started skipping and fading a few days ago, but she kept pushing to get one last drop out of it.
It
’
s so annoying not have my pen when I need one. Why do I insist on running it dry when I should just get a new one?

Leah pouted while picking apart the English muffin as she stared out the train window. She didn
’
t see the passing landscape. Instead, she saw herself as a schoolgirl being soundly reprimanded by a teacher for calling out an answer. She felt the embarrassment now almost as deeply as she had then. She remembered a string of insensitive comments she
’
d made that hurt people
’
s feelings—people she cared about. She lied to her high school boyfriend and went out with someone else instead of breaking up first. She told a girl in her therapy group at college that she hadn
’
t been paying attention while the girl was describing a painful incident because she was thinking about what a nice weekend she had just spent with Richard. When her roommate, Kate, didn
’
t make the sorority she had her heart set on, Leah listened to the complaints and whining for two hours and then snapped at her,
“
Get over it!
”
Kate burst into tears and things were never the same between them, no matter how many times Leah apologized.

Why after all these years do I still agonize over foolish mistakes I made years ago? You
’
d think I
’
d move on. But, no. It
’
s like what I did with that damn pen—I just can
’
t let things go.

Leah
’
s private reverie was interrupted by an announcement. They would be arriving at Penn Station on time. Glancing at her watch, Leah calculated she had about fifteen minutes, so she threw out her cup and the mutilated muffin and headed back to her seat.

Ali was curled up next to Debbie, reading the pages from Leah
’
s folder. She looked up as Leah approached.
“
Mom, this stuff is really cool. You don
’
t mind that I
’
m reading it, too, do you?
”