The Prince Who Loved Me (The Oxenburg Princes) (25 page)

Her thin lips twitched. “He’s a problem for another time. This minute, you are the problem.” There was a sulky tone to her voice. “Nikolai and Wulf never cause such worry as you.”

“Nikki is the heir, so he cannot afford to cause problems. And Wulf is now married, which means he’s no longer your concern. That leaves you far too free to bother me.”

“I have concerned myself with you because you refuse to pay court to a woman who would make your family proud! Always, you find the ones who are unsuitable—singers and dancers and actresses, and now this little mouse— Pah!”

“Leave it, Tata. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She gave him a grim look. “I know more than you give me credit for.”

Because she wasn’t above bribing footmen, no doubt. Footmen always seemed to know which way the wind blew. “You wished me to court a woman of quality.”

“Not one like this. Bronwyn Murdoch has no manners, no grace—nothing a princess will need. She would not know how to welcome a foreign dignitary and make him feel at ease, or how to speak to fellow guests at a royal dinner. She dances like a performing bear and says the most outrageous things—Sir Henry tried to make genteel conversation with her at the last dinner, and she blurted out that she didn’t like talking to people she didn’t know. What sort of princess is that?”

Alexsey had to hide a smile. “I dislike talking to most people, myself.”

“But you do not announce it. You can make polite conversation when you need to; she cannot.”

“That’s your only objection?”

“That and she is too old to have children.”

“You had a child at her age.”

Natasha paused. She’d hoped he wouldn’t remember that. “I have the strength of the Romany. She would be useless as a princess.”

“You are exaggerating. And I’ve said nothing about making her, or anyone else, a princess.”

Not yet,
she thought.
“I doubt any man has ever paid her the slightest attention before. She will be desperate to win you, and will trick you if she must.”

“Enough.” His voice was pure ice, and he turned for the door.

“For your family’s sake, and if you wish to ever hold the
kaltso
, you will not pursue her. You will shame us all.”

“I shame no one by sharing my time with a woman of intelligence.”

“Intelligence?” Natasha favored him with a narrow look. “You love her, then?”

Surprise crossed his face. “I don’t know what I feel, but today I wish to be with her. That is enough.”

She scowled. “If you must have a Murdoch, then marry her sister. I’ve spoken to Sorcha, and her manners are beautiful and charming. She speaks three languages fluently and her mother assures me she can play the pianoforte with talent. She converses with knowledge and grace. Court Sorcha instead, and keep the older sister for a mistress.”

Alexsey’s mouth was white with anger. “I’ve no interest in Sorcha, or anyone else but Bronwyn.”

She hid a faint flash of hope behind a shrug. “For now. It will pass. It always does. You told me so yourself.”

“Perhaps. Tata, if you knew Bronwyn, you would not feel as you do. She is honest and cares for her family and her sisters. She is thoughtful and imaginative and . . .” He paused and drew in his breath. “She is more royal in nature than I will ever be.”

“So you say. But we both know what you want of this girl. Don’t deny you’ve set out to seduce her. I know you, Alexsey. But it is dangerous to play with a virtuous woman of genteel birth. Things are not the same here as they are in Oxenburg. If there is a scandal, there is no paying your way out of it. You will pay with your freedom.”

He turned and stalked to the door.

“Wait! I’m not finished speaking. Where are you going?”

He offered her a black smile as he opened the door. “According to you, I’m going to ruin my life and destroy my future.”

“
Nyet!
” She threw back the covers. “Alexsey, if you’d wished to prove that you’re no longer the irresponsible rakehell you once were, this is not the way to do it.” She reached for the
kaltso
, pulling it from under her robes, and held it aloft. “This is not for a man who would throw away his inheritance for a mere dalliance with a nobody.”

His eyes narrowed, his back so straight, he looked more like his soldier-brother than she’d ever seen him. “I wish to be the
voivode
, yes. But not at the cost of my pride. I will choose my own way, Tata. With you, without you. With the
kaltso
,
without it.”

“So you would give up your hopes for this woman.”

“I give up nothing. Not to you, not to fate, not to her.”

She scooted to the edge of the bed. “Alexsey, you must think! You cannot—”

But she spoke to an empty room, the door slamming ominously.
This will not do
. She tugged the bellpull, and then hurried to the gilt desk and scribbled a note. A footman arrived seconds later, just as she was folding the note. She handed it to him. “Take this to Lady Malvinea at Ackinnoull and wait for a reply.”

“Yes, Yer Grace.”

“Take it now and ride like the wind.” She pulled a gold coin from a silk bag on the desk. “Do you see this?”

His eyes were as wide as saucers. “Aye, Yer Grace.”

“You shall have it if you return with the reply in less than a half hour. But if you are a second longer than that, you’ll get nothing. Now go!”

He practically ran from the room.

Lady Bartram sighed deeply. “Lucinda is to be pitied as much as she is to be admired. There is something about a girl who’s lost her mother—a tragic set of her lips, a tender expression in her eyes, a softness of spirit . . .”

—
The Black Duke
by Miss Mary Edgeworth

Later that afternoon, Bronwyn held up the fashion plate from
La Belle Assemblée
ladies’ magazine beside the mirror, looking from it to her hair. The print featured a lady in a lovely pale-blue pelisse, her gloved hands warmed by a large white fur muff. The lady’s hair was dressed in a style known as à la Sappho, which Bronwyn had tried to re-create.

She turned to Walter and Scott, who were stretched before the fire. “What do you two think?” She held up the magazine. “Is it close enough?”

Both dogs wagged their tails, although neither with enthusiasm.

She sighed and tossed the magazine to her dressing table. “I was afraid of that. I thought to do something different, but this wasn’t a wise choice.”

She looked back at the mirror and tugged on some of the curls, trying to rearrange them. The trouble was that her hair was too thick to hold a proper curl. Instead of the delicate circlets from the picture, her curls looked more like thick sausages.

She sighed and adjusted a pin, hoping for a miracle. She’d been trying to stay busy since her last meeting with Alexsey. Their time had been so sweetly passionate, so . . . exciting.
Better than any novel.

But she hadn’t seen him since that day, a fact that was causing her greater and greater unease. She’d expected a visit, or at least a note.
But there was that horrible storm.
That would have kept him away; only a fool would risk his horse in such. Still, there was no reason why he couldn’t have written a note. A few words would have calmed her fears to no end.

But so far, no note had arrived. She swallowed a lump in her throat.
Did it mean so little to you, Alexsey?

She didn’t know, and wouldn’t until she spoke with him again.

Scott lifted his head and glared at the door. Walter followed suit.

A firm knock sounded upon the wooden panel.

Bronwyn opened it, blinking in astonishment when Mama smiled back at her, though her gaze widened when she saw Bronwyn’s hair.

“Mama—what a surprise.” Suddenly remembering the dogs, she threw herself into the doorway.

Mama brushed her aside. “Bronwyn, please. I’ve known since the day you moved into these rooms that the dogs would be coming with you.”

“Oh.” Bronwyn closed the door behind her mother.

Mama sent her a flat look. “A good mother knows everything about her children.”

Good God, I hope not.
Bronwyn gestured to the chairs before the small fireplace. “Won’t you have a seat? This is the first time you’ve visited me here.”

Mama sat in the nearest chair, eyeing Bronwyn’s hair and gown. “You are dressed. I wasn’t aware we’d anywhere to go until tomorrow’s dinner and talent performance at Tulloch.”

Bronwyn sat opposite Mama. “I was thinking of wearing this tomorrow.” It was a gown from her long-ago season. She’d found it in the back of her wardrobe, forgotten and sadly wrinkled. At the time, the pale-blue silk with white netting had been all the rage, but no more. Still, it was better than her usual gowns.

Once Mrs. Pitcairn had done some magic with her iron and had removed several rows of faded silk flowers, Bronwyn thought the gown suited her well. Though not fashionable, it was at least pretty. And if, perchance, a certain handsome prince happened to see one wearing it . . . well, it couldn’t hurt to be properly gowned for once.

Ever since her meeting with Alexsey, she’d felt bolder somehow. The world seemed brighter, the sun shinier, noises softer—and she was ready for more adventures. More caresses. More Alexsey.

But why, then, hasn’t he visited?
Her pleasure dimmed. Perhaps he was waiting to invite her to a secret tryst, somewhere they could be alone once again. It was breathtaking to think of sneaking out to meet Alexsey. Breathtaking and bold and perhaps wrong. He’d said they were making memories. When he was gone, she’d need a lot of memories to keep her company in the years ahead. The thought didn’t cheer her as it ought to have. Indeed, it made her eyes water in a most annoying way.

Mama pursed her lips. “The style suits you, but it’s dreadfully out of fashion. The waistline is too low and those sleeves—” She shook her head.

Bronwyn managed a smile. “Such praise! I hardly know how to respond.”

Mama instantly looked contrite. “I’m sorry. I said that quite poorly.”

“You said what you think, which I value. By the way, your gown is quite lovely.”

“Thank you. It’s one of those we ordered from the
modiste
in Edinburgh for Sorcha’s season. The ones ordered for me fit perfectly, but the two we ordered for Sorcha don’t fit at all.”

“Oh dear. How did they get them wrong? They measured Sorcha in the shop.”

“I’m sure I don’t know.” Mama folded her hands on her lap. “Your father was livid, thinking we’d have to pay for the alterations, but I assured him that the
modiste
will fix them and at no extra charge. But that means I must take Sorcha back to Edinburgh to have new measurements taken.”

“What a coil!”

“It’s a pity, for I especially wished Sorcha to wear the pale-blue crepe gown tomorrow evening. It’s the perfect thing for a young lady just coming out.” She sighed. “Now we’ll have to settle for one of her older gowns.”

“Fortunately, she’s been out so little that no one will realize they’re her older gowns.”

“I hope so.” Mama leaned back in her chair, her gaze flickering over Bronwyn in a searching manner. “It’s been a mad, crazed few weeks, hasn’t it?”

“It’s been a very mad few weeks—though I know that’s not why you are here.”

Mama flushed. “Yes.” She paused a long moment and then took a deep breath. “You know I love you as if you were one of my own daughters. I hope you realize I would only say something critical if I thought it in your best interest.”

Bronwyn waited, a flash of dread making her nod rather than reply.

“I want to ask . . . Oh dear, I don’t know how to say this, but . . . have you been meeting with Prince Menshivkov in secret?”

Bronwyn blinked. Of all the things she’d expected her stepmother to ask, that was the last one. Feeling the older woman’s gaze upon her, she wet her lips, hoping her face wasn’t as red as it felt. “I wouldn’t say we’ve met in secret.” That was true, for anyone could have walked in on them.

“I thought as much.” Mama folded her hands in her lap. “He paid a visit not an hour ago.”

Bronwyn started. “What! Did he ask for me?” She couldn’t keep the breathlessness from her voice.

Mama’s eyes darkened. “He asked for you, but I told him you were on an errand in Dingwall.”

“Why did you tell him that? I wish to see him.” She
needed
to see him.

“Which is exactly why I told him you weren’t here.” Mama sighed. “Bronwyn, please . . . this must stop before someone gets hurt.”

“No one is going to get hurt.” Bronwyn couldn’t keep the stubborn note from her voice.

Mama’s eyes suddenly seemed very wise. “My dear, I fear you already have.”

Tears unexpectedly burned Bronwyn’s eyes. “No.”

“Really?” Mama’s voice was unexpectedly gentle. “I must tell you that when I told him you weren’t available, he spent a good twenty minutes talking to Sorcha. And he was
very
attentive.”

Bronwyn’s heart panged. “I’m sure he was just being pleasant. He . . . he’s very polite and . . .” But was he really? He didn’t mind leaving a ball in the middle of it merely because he was bored, and he thought nothing of ordering people about without so much as a by-your-leave. And Sorcha was so very lovely.

Not that Alexsey had promised Bronwyn anything. In fact, neither of them had placed boundaries on what had started as a flirtation, turned into a challenge, and then became . . . what was it now? She didn’t even know.

It was suddenly hard to swallow. Had she been mistaken in him?

No. It wasn’t possible. If he was speaking to Sorcha, it was because it was the only thing to do in the situation.

Mama patted her hand. “Oh, Bronwyn. I wish I’d realized what was happening. I’ve been remiss and I’m so, so sorry.”

“You did nothing wrong.”

“I’m not sure. Earlier today, I had tea with the grand duchess. She believes you might be developing certain feelings for Prince Menshivkov.” Mama paused, her color high. “Feelings that are not returned in the way you might wish.”

Bronwyn’s heart thudded sickly. “How would she know?”

“She’s spoken to her grandson about you.”

Bronwyn stiffened. “Whatever feelings do or do not exist between the prince and me are no one else’s business.”

“My dear, an innocent like you, sheltered and with little experience of men, is easily deceived. I explained that to Her Grace, and assured her you had no intentions regarding her grandson—that you’re not attempting to trap him into marriage or—or anything else.”

“Of course not! Marriage was never mentioned.” And yet . . . she had to admit that somewhere along the way, she’d been dreaming about something more. Not marriage, perhaps. Not yet. But her heart had been headed in that direction and the realization sent hot and cold shivers through her.

As if sensing her turmoil, Walter arose and came to stand against Bronwyn’s knee. She patted him automatically and he sank to her feet, leaning against her leg.

Mama sighed. “Please, don’t look so tragic.”

“I’m not. There’s nothing between us. We both like to read, and talk.”
And kiss. And make love.
Her hands were clenched so tightly together, her fingers were white.

“Yes, but . . . do you love him?” Mama asked gently.

She had to swallow twice before she could answer. “No.” So far, she only liked him very much. Love included passion and kindness, caring and—

She closed her eyes as the truth burst before her.
Oh dear, I do love him. When did
that
happen?
She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

“Oh, Bronwyn,” Mama said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

Bronwyn could only nod.

“However it came to happen, I must agree with Her Grace: falling in love with the prince would be disastrous. She said he has always vowed he will not wed. He’s told her numerous times that he’s never been in love, and plans to never be so.”

Every word was like an arrow into her heart.

Mama sighed. “For your sake, for everyone’s sake, you—we—must stop this right now.”

Bronwyn’s throat was so tight, she couldn’t even swallow.
Why would he have said such a thing to his grandmother unless he wished it to be repeated to me? I didn’t teach him a lesson at all—but he certainly taught me one. Love is as painful as it is pleasurable.

Scott came to join Walter at her knee, both dogs leaning against her. Her heart like a lead weight, Bronwyn wrapped her arms about them both. “Thank you for coming to speak with me. I know it can’t have been easy.”

“What’s not easy is seeing you hurt. I wish—” Mama sighed.

Hot tears stung Bronwyn’s eyes, but she held them at bay. “If you don’t mind, I’d like some time to think about this.”

“Of course.” Mama stood, uncertainty on her face. “I’ll tell your sisters you won’t be attending tomorrow’s dinner at Tulloch. Shall we just say you don’t feel well?”

Bronwyn didn’t look up. “For now, that will be fine.”

Mama started to say something more, but on seeing Bronwyn’s bent head, she instead turned and quietly let herself out, leaving Bronwyn alone with her dogs and her thoughts.

“Y
ou won’t find any answers in there, I fear.”

Alexsey looked up from the golden depths of his scotch to find Strathmoor in the doorway of his bedchamber, clad in a red velvet dressing coat. “You never know. I’ve found answers in stranger places.”

Strath sauntered in and closed the door behind him. “You left your door open. I will take that as an invitation.”

He shrugged. “We’re practically alone in this wing.”

“My uncle’s none-too-subtle way of letting us know he thinks us hellions.” Strath paused to pour himself a glass of scotch before he came to take the seat across from Alexsey. “Let me know if you find answers, questions, or anything other than good smoky scotch in there. For if you do, then the footmen have not been washing the glasses as they ought.” He stretched his legs before the fire and took an appreciative sip.

Alexsey eyed his friend. “You are up late. Did the brightness of your dressing coat prevent you from sleeping? It is keeping me awake right now.”

Strath waved his glass. “Mock all you wish. I bought it in France and paid a fortune for it, and have heard nothing but praise for it.”

“Whoever praised it was merely being polite.”

Strath grinned. “Probably, but for what I paid, I’ll accept any compliment I receive. I was so foxed when I bought it, I could barely count out the coins.” He ran a hand over the velvet. “At least it’s warm.”