The Promise (16 page)

“Dammit, Rill, they can’t
all
be dead ends.”

 “Everyone makes mistakes. It just may take a while for Sharon to make one. Be patient.” 

Conall closed his eyes. “You have no idea what you’re asking.”

Watching him, Amarillo thought he did. Conall looked as a man must who was trying to function with his heart tom out.

Six weeks after Sharon disappeared from SwanSea, Conall received an express letter from San Francisco marked personal. His secretary brought it into him unopened.

He broke the seal and pulled a single sheet of paper from the envelope. It was a medical report from a doctor dated five days before. It stated that Sharon Clarisse Graham was approximately seven weeks pregnant.

The words blurred, the report slipped from his fingers.

Dear God in heaven, she’d been right all along.

He’d made her pregnant ten years ago. And now, once again, she carried his child, once again all alone.

He reached for his phone. “Find Amarillo and tell him I want to see him immediately."

An hour later, when Amarillo walked into the office, Conall was staring out the window, the medical report in his hand.

“What’s up?”

Conall swung his chair around and handed him the report.

Amarillo scanned the report. ‘This may be the break we’ve been waiting for.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. Do you think you can find out anything from the doctor?”

“I’m not sure if there’ll be that much to find out from him. This is only a test, Conall. She may have been in San Francisco just long enough to have this test taken, then moved on.” Distress crossed Conall’s face. “Don’t worry,” Amarillo said. “I will do everything in my power to find out something. But in the event I’m right and she’s moved on . . .”

“Yes?”

“Sharon left one thing behind when she left. A local phone book.”

“I know, I saw it, but—”

“People sometimes circle numbers in their phone books. Sometimes they even write numbers in it, especially emergency numbers. I took the phone book home with me. She wrote a doctor’s number on the inside cover; I assume it’s her family doctor. Now, pregnant women need prenatal care, and whoever gives it to them usually requests that their previous doctors send them their records, especially, I would imagine, if there’d been another pregnancy that had ended short of term. I think it will be worthwhile for me to monitor her doctor.”

“Monitor?”

Amarillo grinned. “Trade secrets.”

“Do whatever you have to do. In the meantime, I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment myself. ”

Four months later Conall stood on a sidewalk in a quiet neighborhood in San Diego, California, and gazed at a small bungalow across the street.

A stained glass hummingbird hung in the front window. A ceramic rabbit played among the geraniums in the flower bed.

At last, he had found her.

He crossed the street, walked up the sidewalk, and knocked. Several nerve-racking minutes passed. A car drove by on the street behind him. He heard hedge clippers being run several houses down. Finally the door opened and Sharon appeared on the threshold.

As soon as she saw who it was, her eyes widened with panic.

The flat of his palm hit the door just in time to stop her from slamming it in his face. “I’ve come all the way across the country to see you,” he said quietly. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“No.”

With one quick glimpse he took in the shadows beneath her eyes and the paleness of her skin. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist.”

He gently pushed past her. Inside, he saw that she had duplicated her apartment in Boston, using the same furnishings and more important, the same loving care. He absorbed the familiar surroundings, then began to notice one or two new items. A porcelain calico cat had joined the English spaniel on the fireplace hearth. Another Hummel figurine had come to live among the stoneware children, this one a girl standing beside a baby buggy, her hands folded in prayer.

And lastly, there was a large box propped in a comer with a picture of a cradle on it.

She had created another nest.

Sharon self-consciously folded her arms over her swollen stomach, then realized that the slacks and oversize blouse she wore covered her well. And what did it matter anyway? "How did you find me?”

“It wasn’t easy. You have the complete admiration of Amarillo Smith, something that not many people can boast about."

“I’m sure it’s an honor.”

Her sarcasm briefly lifted his brows. “How are you?”

“Fine.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea. Would you please leave now?”

“No,” he said, and as if to emphasize his point, walked to the nearest chair and sat down.

Sharon steeled herself to cope with his presence. He was filling the small house to bursting. He pressed in on her without touching her, depleting her already-low reserves of strength.

This was a moment she’d hoped and prayed would never come. She’d worked so hard, gone to such lengths to insure that he would never find her. He would want an explanation, but there was none she could give him that could approach the truth—the truth being that she had fallen in love with him.

He propped his elbows on the chair’s arms and steepled his fingers. “Why did you leave SwanSea without telling me?”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet? I left because I’m not a nice person. Did you have Winston Lawrence count the silver?”

He rubbed his temple thoughtfully. “Sit down, Sharon. You look like you’re about to fall.”

“I’m fine,” she said again, but dropped down onto the couch.

His heart went out to her. She looked so defensive and so defenseless. He ached to hold her, to comfort her, but it seemed to him she’d crumple if he hit her with emotions that held any force at all. And he had to remember, she had every reason to hate him. “Okay, let’s start again. Why didn’t you tell me you planned to disappear?” 

“Because I knew the moment you found out I was pregnant, you’d come looking for me and would want the baby. And if I didn’t get pregnant, I didn’t feel I wanted to go on living in the same area of the country as you.” This had been the initial reason for her careful planning and move, but when she realized she loved him, her reasons had changed. After the intimacy they had shared at SwanSea, it would have been too painful to live so close to him, yet be so far away emotionally. It had been several weeks after she left SwanSea before the idea she might be pregnant had even occurred to her.

He closed his eyes until the hurt had washed through him. “But you sent me the medical report.”

She looked away. “I felt you deserved to know that you can father a child.”

Gazing steadily at her, he slowly sat forward and rested his arms on his knees. “Apologies don't mean a thing, but I have to give you one anyway. I'm sorry I didn’t believe you, Sharon. I am so very sorry.”

Her lips twisted with a brief smile of pain. “But you believe me now because you went straight to your doctor when you received the medical report. Am I right?”

“As soon as I read the doctor’s report I believed you. I didn’t need confirmation.”

Her expression was plainly disbelieving. "Did you or did you not go to the doctor?”

“Yes, I did. But only to find out what the hell happened ten years ago to screw up those tests.” He looked down at his hands. “It seems my sperm count has built back up over the years. Apparently it happens that way sometime.”

“And what did you find out about the tests taken ten years ago?”

“They were accurate. When the doctor told me I had a very slim chance of fathering a child, it devastated me. I walked out of his office in a daze and never gave a thought to the fact that I did have any chance at all. My only excuse is that when you hear there’s something like a ninety-five percent chance it's going to rain, you forget about the five percent chance it’s not.”

“Except, Conall, in this case the subject was a baby, not rain.”

“If you believe nothing else, believe that I will never forgive myself. There’s nothing I can do to make it up to you, Sharon. Nothing.”

“You’re wrong. You can leave.”

He straightened with a sigh. “That’s the one thing I can’t do.”

Sharon’s heart jumped with fear. “You can’t have this baby. You can’t!”

He lifted his hand, wanting to touch her but not daring to. “Calm down. I don’t want to take your baby from you. I wouldn’t do that.”

“I managed to lose myself for six months. Next time I’ll do a better job.”

“Sharon, stop it. You’re upsetting yourself.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. He was right. She had to get herself under control. But these last few months it had been so hard to discipline her emotions. Her hormones were running wild. One moment she would be happy and excited, the next, she would be crying. But the emotion that bothered her the most was the unreasoning and profound fear. It came upon her at the most unexpected times, wrapping around her, sapping her of spirit and courage, immobilizing her.

“Listen to me,” Conall was saying. “I won’t take your baby away from you, and to prove it, I’ll sign any kind of document you want me to.”

She put a hand to her head. He was confusing her. And to make her feel even worse, his effortless power, vitality, and energy was the exact opposite of what she was feeling.

“Sharon, why are there shadows under your eyes? Why are you so damned pale?"

His sudden questions took her by surprise. “I’ve been having a little trouble sleeping, that’s all.”

 “What does the doctor say?”

“Get more rest.”

“And is it a problem for you to do that?”

“No, no problem. Conall, what is it exactly that you want from me?”

“Nothing except to take care of you.”

She was beginning to understand. “You feel guilty.”

“Yes.” Let her believe what she wanted. “I left you alone once before. I won’t this time.”

“It sounds like atonement.”

“Call it what you wish. I am going to see you through the birth of this child whether you want me to or not. I’m going to be there for you.”

She eyed him warily. As much as she loved him, she didn’t know if she could trust him. She had needed him so desperately ten years before and he had turned his back on her. There was a danger that she might grow to depend on him during the next few months, and then when the time came he would have changed his mind and wouldn’t be there.

She rose and walked to the mantel, giving herself a minute to decide what she should do. She’d gone to such lengths to get away from him, and the hardest part, the planning, the packing and the unpacking, was over.

She was settled. And she couldn’t see moving again, at least not until the baby had been bom. True, Conall knew where she was now. But his life, his family, and his business were clear across the country. What could he do?
Don’t be stupid, Sharon. He can do anything he wants to do.

“I want to take you back to Boston with me,” he said. “You’ll get the best medical care there.” 

“And afterward?”

He hesitated. Losing her again would just about destroy him. But her welfare and peace of mind would have to come first. “I'd like you to stay in Boston—”

“Because of the child?”

If he told her he loved her, she’d laugh at him and then she’d yell at him. She hated him and she had every reason. “Yes, because of the baby. But if you want to come back here after the baby is born, I can’t stop you.”

She made a scoffing sound. “You can’t? I thought a Deverell could do anything.” 

He smiled sadly. “Well, now you know differently.”

“No, I don’t. Not really."

“Sharon, you shouldn’t be alone at a time like this. And if I have to move here to make sure you aren’t, then 1 will. But if you’ll come back to Boston with me, well leave all your things in place here and I’ll hire someone to keep a regular check on the place. That way, when or if you decide to return, you 11 know it will be here waiting for you. Or if you’d rather, well pack up everything and put it in storage. But the first thing we’re going to do is deposit your damned money in a bank. I can’t imagine what you were thinking of—certainly not your safety.”

“I was thinking of getting away from you.”

He recoiled as if she’d struck him, and immediately she regretted what she’d said.

She went on. “Anyway, I’ve already deposited the money. I got fake identification in Tijuana.” 

“Oh, great,” he said wearily. “You went to Tijuana by yourself."

She pursed her lips, understanding there was no argument she could give him regarding Tijuana he would buy. “Where would I stay in Boston?”

“My house.”

She shook her head. “No, no . . .”

“I wouldn’t bother you. I promise."

She could hardly believe it, but her resolve was weakening. Being alone didn’t bother her; she was used to it. And she knew being a single parent would be hard, but in her mind she had accepted the additional responsibility of a baby long ago. She had even planned that after the baby was bom she would do a limited amount of accounting, making her office in her home, and taking on individuals and small businesses as clients.

Now, though, she was having to deal with fear, and she didn’t know whether she was strong enough to do so alone. Reluctant as she was to admit it, even to herself, his promise to be with her at the time of the baby’s birth reassured her.

Her last visit to the doctor had taught her that no matter how hard you try, you cannot figure
everything
out on paper. He had told her that because of a narrow pelvis, she might have trouble delivering the baby and they might have to perform a cesarean section.

She’d been in a hospital as a patient only once, and it was that memory, plus its attendant nightmares, that had been keeping her awake nights.

She vividly recalled the blood, the pain, the gut-wrenching feeling that there was no one in the world who cared if she lived or died. And now, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t make her fear of going back into a hospital vanish.

“You won’t try to take my baby from me?” she asked, her voice shaky.