Authors: Tony Birch
âHow'd you get all that info on him, in six weeks?'
âJuice says he's depressed. And likes to talk a lot. Mostly about his troubles.'
âWhat's the bag?'
âIf we go for a one-off, probably twenty. If we can string him out, we might double it. Leave that to me, Jackie. Just be sure you get a good shot of his bare arse along with his happy face.'
âThat's if he's fucking her. Maybe he'll back out, seeing he has so much at stake with the wife. He could get cold feet.'
âHe's already fucking her. She gave him his first look at it weeks back. Same motel. He rode her like a Cup favourite, she said. Hands and heels. And he couldn't wait to mount up again.'
Buster leaned over the seat and tapped Vincent on the shoulder.
âHave you worked with her before, this Juice chick? She reliable?'
âYeah. She's a full pedigree. Her granddad was one of the last of the big street bookies. My old man pencilled for him when he was starting out. Our families have been Christmasing together for as long as I can remember. She's like a sister.'
âI wouldn't want my sister on the game,' Buster laughed.
âNeither would I. I said
like
a sister.'
We sat in the car for another half hour without a call from Juice. Vince checked the phone a couple of times, worried that it might not be working. âCheap shit.'
I sensed a complete fuck-up.
âYou got a smoke, Vincent? I'm out.'
âThought you were trying to give up?'
âI am, but it's not working. I got a sore jaw chewing on all that nicotine gum.'
He pulled two cigarettes from a packet and handed me one. He was about to light up when Buster interrupted.
âFellas, can you smoke outside of the car? You know, with the baby and all, and that passive smoking.'
Vincent looked at him through the rear-view mirror.
âAre you serious, Buster? It's freezing out there.'
âYeah, I am. I'd be okay with it, just the one fag, but if Pam smells cigarette smoke on the baby's clothes she'll go off her head at me.'
Vincent and me sat on the bonnet of the car and lit up. I pulled the collar of my jacket up around my ears and buried my hands in my pockets.
âHe's not the same man, old Buster. What happened to him?'
âTold me while we were driving to collect you that he swore off everything, the drink, pills, the lot, about ten months back. He joined some step program, ten steps, twelve steps, I can't remember how many. And he met this bird, Pam. She's an alkie too. Off it but. They started going out and then moved in together. I have to say he's better for it.'
âHe met her ten months back? But the baby's five months old, he said.'
Vincent looked over his shoulder and waved at Buster.
âDon't say a word about it. It's not his kid. The father did a runner as soon as he heard she was up the spout and hasn't been seen since. Buster stepped up.' He dropped his butt on the road and ground it into the bitumen. âWho would have thought? Buster?'
âWell, not me.'
Back in the car
Vincent fiddled with the radio dial, switching from station to station, hoping to calm himself with some quieter music than another marathon guitar solo. Buster's next comment didn't ease the mood.
âMaybe he's a creep?'
âWhat do you mean? A creep? Who?'
âThis fella she picked up. You don't know him from fucken Adam.'
âThat don't matter. Juice is a professional. She deals with this stuff every day. If he was a creep she'd smell it straight off.'
âMaybe not. He could be a real sly cunt. You know most serial killers are educated types?'
âHe's no killer, Buster. I sat across from her flat last week. I was watching when he drove up for her. He's skinny as a rake. And looks just like you'd expect from them university types.'
âLike what?' I asked.
âLike he's intelligent and a fucken goose at the same time.'
âDoesn't mean he's not a nutter,' Buster offered. âBrainy and a goose? That's a bad recipe. I met blokes in jam like that.'
Vince brooded over the discussion. He threw me the camera and grabbed the door handle.
âLet's go, Jackie. Buster, you stay here with the car.'
âAnd the baby, Vince?'
âYes, Buster. And the baby.'
We crossed the street to the front of the motel. I could see a bearded fella sitting behind the desk at reception with his back to the door and his head buried in a book. I followed Vincent along the driveway, into an open courtyard surrounded by motel doors, each painted a different bright colour.
âWhich one are they in?' I whispered. âThis is like the old days.
Pick-a-Box.
'
He pointed to the rear of the courtyard and a light blue beaten-up Volvo parked in front of one of the rooms. I could see a dull yellow light behind the blind in the window.
âThey're in there,' he whispered. âThat's his car.'
âYou sure they're in that room?'
âNo, I'm not sure, but I seen him pick her up in that car. We'll try the door and run in. You spot them you start taking pictures.'
âPictures of what? She was supposed to have called you if she was humping him.'
âMaybe she can't call. My bet is something's gone wrong with the phone.'
âSo you don't think he's a serial killer,' I laughed, under my breath. âBuster might be a genius.'
âShut up, Jackie,' he hissed. âI don't want you waking everyone up. Just follow me.'
We waited at the door and listened for any action inside the room. All I could hear was Vincent's breathing. He wrapped a paw around the doorknob and tried turning it one way, and then the other. It wouldn't budge. He stepped away and waved at me to follow him, around to a walkway between a high brick wall and the rear of the motel.
âThese places have a back door off the bathroom where you put out the rubbish. Our room is three doors along. We'll try the door, or the window if we have to.'
I didn't hold out much hope. Seeing as the front door was locked, I expected the back would be too. I wished I'd stayed home and left the job to Vince and Buster, not that he would have been much help. I figured we'd be going home empty-handed.
As Vince turned the door handle I heard something click. He opened it just a couple of inches and put his ear to the gap. Nothing. He opened it a little more, just enough for us to slip through. He nodded at me to follow. It was dark in the bathroom. I felt my way across the room, praying I wouldn't bump into something and cause a racket. We reached another door. Vince opened it and crept into the room.
A lamp sitting on a bedside table was on. Next to it was an empty magnum of champagne. A huge television set sat at the end of a king-size bed. It was switched on with the sound down, and was showing an old black-and-white movie. Juice lay on top of the bed, naked, wrapped around the body of a man, all white skin, freckles and grey fluffs of hair. They were dead to the world.
âWhat's she fucken doing?' Vincent whispered in my ear.
âNot humping his arse off, that's for sure,' I answered. âLooks like the show's over. And the shot.'
âNo, it's not. Get the camera out and take a snap of them just like they are.'
He stood on one side of the bed, me on the other. I looked down at the couple. He had lipstick smudges all over his face and more on the side of his neck.
âNot just a head shot, Jackie. Get his hand in the picture, just where it's resting on her arse there.'
âI know what I'm doing, Vince. You're not Quentin Tarantino.'
I stood back and took the shot. The flash hit the professor between the eyes. He reared up, almost knocking Juice off the bed. I could see the attraction. She had a hell of a body. She moaned and squinted into the light. He leaned across her, reaching for the bedside table and a pair of glasses. He fumbled with them, put them on and looked up at me.
âWhat's going on?' he asked, reasonably calm for a man who'd just discovered a pair of intruders beside his bed. âWho are you?'
Juice sat up, covering her eyes with one arm as she pulled the sheet over a very expensive boob job.
âVince, what are you doing here?' she screamed, as if she didn't know what was going on.
He laughed like she'd told him a dirty joke.
âWhat am I doing here? Fuck off, Juice. The plan. Remember? You andâ' he pointed at her companion, âwe're ⦠me and Jackie are supposed to be here. Don't play dumb. What happened to the call?'
I wasn't happy about him using my name. I'd never met Juice, and she had no idea who I was. He could have called me by any name. Like Bob.
She was pissed off with Vince.
âI'm not playing dumb. You're the idiot here. I told you I'd call you
if the job was on
. I'd call you at midnight, I said, and then again when you got here.' She thumped the mattress. âDid I call you? Did I fucking well call? No. Because there is no job, Vincent.'
She turned to the professor. He was battling to get a word out.
âI'm sorry about this, Paul. There's been a mistake made. My friend here is not too bright.'
âWhat is he doing here?' he demanded. âAnd what are you doing?' he asked me, pointing at the camera.
âFuck you, Juice,' Vince screamed. âDon't think you can fucken scam me. You've gone alone on this. I bet you've found a way to fleece this prick all for yourself.'
âI don't know what you're talking about.' She ran a finger lightly along one of Paul's hairy thighs. âIgnore this fella, darl. He's an old boyfriend of mine. A bit overprotective, aren't you, Vincie. Means well. You can piss off. And your mate here with the camera.'
Paul jumped out of bed with a sheet wrapped around his chest. He looked a little like a Roman in a toga.
âYou must leave now. Both of you.'
Vince picked up the empty champagne bottle. He was about to whack Nero over the head with it when there was a knock at the door.
âSee,' Juice hissed. âYou've brought trouble here, with all your noise.'
âI can't be found here ⦠with you,' Paul whined.
She patted his thigh.
âYou've already been found, lover boy, by this amateur papa-fucking-razzi.'
The second knock at the door was louder.
âJackie, get the door,'
Vince ordered. âDon't let them in, even if it's the Jacks.'
I opened the door. Buster was standing on the doormat, nursing baby Florence. His teeth were chattering with the cold.
âLet me in, Jackie. She'll freeze to death out here.'
I followed them into the room. Juice, the professor and Vince stared up at Florence, and her big brown eyes and wisps of dark hair. The bottom half of her face, from the tip of her nose down to her small soft chin, and the front of her pink grow suit, were smeared in chocolate.
âFuck. What did you do to that kid?' Juice screamed. âWe'll have the welfare in here.'
Buster was more than a little insulted.
âBack off, bitch. There's nothing wrong with her. She's just had a couple of biscuits. Off Jackie here. It's not my fault. This stuff sticks like shit to a blanket.' He turned to Vince. âDid you get the picture you needed? I've got to get her home. She won't sleep in the car. She's overtired and getting real grizzly.'
Paul crawled across the floor, gathering his clothes.
âI have to leave. I shouldn't have come.'
âYes, you should have,' Juice purred. âYou did come. Twice.'
There was another knock at the door. The clerk from the front desk burst in without an invitation.
âI just saw someone come in here with a newborn. This is a single room. I want you out.'
He looked down at the floor, at the professor covering his face, up at Juice's marble-sculptured breasts, me with the camera in my hand and Vincent armed with the magnum of champagne. Finally he turned to Buster and the chocolate baby. He put a hand to his mouth.
âWhat have you done to this baby? This is an outrage. I'm calling the police.'
Buster couldn't have felt more insulted if the man had called him a dog. Nursing Florence in one arm, he wrapped his free claw around the clerk's neck and lifted him off the ground.
âYou're calling nobody, shit for brains. I've done nothing with this kid but take good care of her. You got that?'
The clerk couldn't answer while he was being choked to death. I didn't want Buster killing him, and us getting done for murder.
âEase up on him, Bust. Throw him in the bathroom and lock the door. We have to sort something here. I'll clean the kid up for you.'
âLet me take care of her for you,' Juice offered, âI love babies.'
Buster squeezed a little harder on the clerk's neck. He didn't look too comfortable about giving up the baby. Vince walked across the room and tapped him on the shoulder.
âCome on, Buster. She might not look it, but Juice is real maternal. And I don't need this bloke listening in on our business. Put him in the bathroom. Please, mate.'
Buster released the clerk. He fell to the ground spluttering. Vince took the baby and handed her to Juice while Buster dragged the clerk into the bathroom and kicked the door shut.
Vince waved the magnum around like a baseball bat.
âOkay, professor. Down to business. We've got a nice shot of you cuddling up to your girlfriend. You can have it splashed all over the place, with copies sent to your missus and the news. Or,' he slowly twirled the magnum in the air as if it was a magic wand, âyou can pay us for the picture. You can keep it in your wallet or ditch it. Your choice.'
I could hear a siren off in the distance, getting closer. The baby was trying to latch onto Juice's nipple as she wiped Florence's face and hands with a tissue. The professor was defiant.