Authors: Kate Benson
Good morning, Baby.
I’m sorry I have to work today. You know I’d much rather be in bed with you right now, but I can’t say I hate the idea of my sexy girlfriend/roommate waking up naked in my bed.
I just wanted to be the first person to tell you good morning, the first to tell you that you look beautiful today and the first to tell you that I love you. I can’t wait to see your gorgeous face when I come home to you tonight. Have a wonderful day, my Sweetheart.
I love you.
PS I got you breakfast. It’s in the fridge. xoxo
I smile to myself while slowly rising out of the bed.
Once I’ve
used the bathroom, I walk into the kitchen in search of coffee. I notice the coffee pot is empty, but at nine fifteen, I can’t really say I’m disappointed. Chase left the house hours ago so chances are anything in that coffee pot would have tasted horrible anyway.
I walk
over to the fridge so I can see what amazing breakfast my thoughtful boyfriend has gotten for me and the stupid smile that has been covering my face immediately vanishes. I slam the fridge door closed and after grabbing my phone, I dial Chase’s number.
He answers on the first ring.
“Hey, Baby,” he greets me happily. His voice is so sexy and it usually drives me insane with lust, but not now. Right now I’m fucking livid.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Chase?”
“What are you talking about, Baby?” he sounds as though he really has no idea what he’s done wrong.
“You promised me you wouldn’t see her anymore, Chase! You promised me! And
then I wake up this morning all stupid and happy because I think you actually give a shit and what do I find? Coffee from her job with her handwriting all over it! Seriously, Chase? I told you how crazy mad that woman being near you makes me. Why would you do that to me? Why?” I know I’m probably even overreacting but I can’t stop. I hear some talking in the background, followed by Chase excusing himself and after some brief shuffling he speaks again as my phone alerts me of an incoming text.
“Baby, I didn’t know she was working, I swear,” he starts. “I was going to go somewhere else and get our breakfast
. Her car wasn’t there so I stopped. I had no idea that she was even in the building, Sophie, I promise.”
“Did you not see her when you were ordering the coffee, Chase? Did you notice when you walked in there that she was taking your order and then standing there in front of you making the shit?” I’m yelling now. “Did you see any of that?”
“What the hell did you want me to do, Baby? Walk out because she’s in there?” Now he sounds mad too.
“Yes!” I scream back. “Yes, Chase
! That’s exactly what I want you to do!”
“Sophie,” h
e starts. I don’t even have to see him to know that he’s pinching the bridge of his nose. My phone dings again to alert me of the new text, but I ignore it. “First of all, will you stop yelling at me? Second of all, this is ridiculous, Baby. I’m not going to walk out of a place just because she’s in there.”
“Why?”
“Why?” he repeats, sounding astonished. “Because that’s stupid, Baby. I’m not going to rearrange my life because I dated someone before I met you. That’s not what we agreed on. You asked me to not hang out with her or intentionally see her and I agreed, but I can’t promise I’ll never see her again, Baby. That would be impossible. Rockport is a small town. I’m not trying to be a dick here, Sophie, but listen to what you’re asking of me!”
“I know what I’m asking
of you, Chase! I know it’s ridiculous and I’m sorry for that, but when you promised me you wouldn’t see her I assumed you understood that included going to her fucking job!” I jump when my phone dings, alerting me of a new message for the third time now.
Putting the phone on speaker so
that I can keep talking, I hit the button to see what keeps causing my phone to go nuts. My heart falls to the ground when I see the picture in front of me.
“Stop fucking yelling at me and listen, Sophie,” he started. “I am sorry that I pissed you off, but I didn’t do anything wrong.” I
try to cut him off but he won’t let me. “No, Baby, listen to me. I am sorry that I upset you, but the way you’re acting right now is insane. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t talk to her. I didn’t touch her. I didn’t do anything but try and do something nice for you and you’re attacking me while I’m at work like you caught me fucking her in our bed!”
“Your bed,” I seethe.
“What?” he asks, sounding genuinely confused.
“Your bed, Chase,” I start. “I’m not moving in with you. Not after this.”
“Are you serious, Sophie? Are you seriously telling me that you’re changing your mind about moving in with me over a fucking cup of coffee? Is that what you’re telling me right now?”
“Are you seriously telling me that nothing happened with her, Chase?” I ask, staring blankly at the picture in front of me.
“Yes!” he screams over the speaker on my cell phone. “Nothing happened, Sophie!” I hear his truck door closing in the background and him skidding away from wherever he was.
“Why are you lying to me, Chase?” I
ask. As badly as I don’t want them to, the tears begin to stream uncontrollably down my face.
“Baby
, I’m not lying to you, I swear! I’m on my way home now. We’ll talk about everything when I get back, okay?” he offers but I don’t want to hear any of it.
“Don’t bother
!” I choke out. “I won’t be here.”
“Fine, I’ll meet you at the apartment,” he offers.
“Don’t Chase. I don’t ever want to see you again!”
“What? Why? Sophie what did I do, Baby? Please talk to me,” he obviously has no idea what I’m looking at.
“Oh my God, Chase! I can’t fucking believe …” I sob into the phone as my stomach twists into the tightest of knots. I’m going to be sick. “Stop lying to me! I know, alright? I fucking know!”
“What the hell are you talking about, Sophie?”
he yells into the phone with what sounds like pure desperation. “What do you mean you know? Know what?”
I can’t answer him because my body is heaving. He must hear me because he stops yelling and waits to go on, this time speaking softer as I turn off the water from rinsing my mouth out.
“Please, just don’t leave, Baby. Please?” he begs. “I don’t know what’s going on but please just wait for me, Sophie. I fucking love you!” I look at the picture in front of me and begin to sob again.
Chase is kneeling between Lauren’s legs
and pleasuring her, completely oblivious of the camera but it’s unmistakably him. At the bottom, the message attached reads:
What’s yours is mine, Sophie. Enjoy your coffee. Xo Lauren ;)
“Goodbye, Chase,” I say quietly. As I go to end the call, I hear him yelling something into the phone, but I don’t hear what. I forward the message and picture that Lauren sent me to his phone, with a message of my own that reads:
I guess there was something I couldn’t ask of you after all. ~Soph
I grab my purse and a couple of important things from Chase’s room before I place the bracelet he’d given me on the nightstand. I make my way out to my truck and climb inside, feeling completely numb.
My phone ring
s nonstop the whole way to the apartment and when it isn’t ringing, I’m getting text after text from Chase. I pull into the parking lot of the apartment building and make my way up the steps slowly. As I reach the door, Ana swings it open and pulls me straight into her arms.
“Sophie
? What happened? Chase just called here and was completely freaking out,” she pulls away and her eyes rake over me. “Are you okay?” I slowly shake my head and begin to sob uncontrollably, falling to my knees in front of her before she helps me up and into the apartment. I collapse onto the couch and curl into a ball, resting my head into her lap as she holds me silently until I fall asleep.
Ana
Ot
her than Jack’s death, I’ve never seen Sophie this upset over anything before. Not even on the day he was deployed had she truly been this heartbroken.
It’s Sunday, which means it has been almost a week since she came back to the apartment. She
looks like hell. She has only left her room once since and that was two days ago, when she brought out a box of things that Chase had left over here.
Drake has stopped by to check
in on her a few times, while trying to talk with her on Chase’s behalf, but she barely even acknowledged him whenever he came by.
She’s lost at least ten pounds and the rings under her eyes tell me she
hasn’t been sleeping. I see her smaller than normal frame walking out into the living room and she looks between me and Drake through her swollen eyes, dropping the box on the couch before talking to either of us.
“Hey,” she whispers despondently
. Her voice is gravelly and raw from crying.
“Hey, Sophie,” Drake says softly at the same time
that I stand up and walk over to her side, so I can hug her.
“Hi,
Honey. How are you doing? Are you hungry?” she looks at me through lifeless eyes as she shakes her head. “Sophie, you’re losing weight that you can’t afford to lose. You have to eat something.” She shakes her head at me again before turning to face Drake, although she still doesn’t speak. “When is the last time you ate something, Sophie?” I ask her. She shrugs indifferently, keeping her eyes locked solely over on Drake.
“Why are you here?”
she asks Drake and he clears his throat as he faces her.
“Chase asked me to come over here and check on you,” he admits. She immediately shakes her head,
with both sadness and betrayal brewing within her eyes.
“Why?” she asks almost angrily.
“Because he loves you, Sophie,”
“No, he doesn’t, Drake,” she
begins, raising her hand up to stop him when he tries to argue with her. “If what he did was his way of showing his love for me, then he obviously doesn’t know what love actually is.” Her voice cracks and she looks as though she’s about to completely lose it. I can see her fighting it, but I know that it won’t take much to push her over the edge.
“Sophie
… Chase didn’t tell me what happened,” he begins.
“Why
? Is he ashamed of what he did?” she bites back as Drake shrugs in what appears to be defeat.
“I’m not sure what his reasons are for not talking
to me, he just said it was between you and him. He didn’t want to talk about any specifics. He just asked me to come over and try to talk with you.”
“Well I’m sorry he’s wasted your time
, Drake, but I don’t want to talk about it either. His things are in this box if you wouldn’t mind taking them to him. I’m sure that these are the real reason why he wanted you to come over,” she says sullenly.
“Sophie, Chase wouldn’t tell me what happened between
the two of you, but I know that he loves you,” he offers. “He’s not doing any better than you are, probably worse actually. I won’t butt in again, but I hope you’ll reconsider hearing him out.” He walks over to the door, leaving the box where Sophie had placed it on the couch. He turns around to face her before he leaves. “I’m not taking that to him either. Y’all need to talk and if that box of crap is the only way to do it, then so be it.”
“You know you really shouldn’t throw stones, Drake,” Sophie says as he reach
es the door. He stops in his tracks before turning back around. “You know what? You’re really not in any position to be handing out relationship advice either, are you? I mean, you just admitted that you have no clue as to what happened and it’s not like the two of you are working your shit out, is it?” she gestures between the two of us, keeping her glare strictly aimed at him. I’ve never known Sophie to be particularly harsh, but her words sting.
“Sophie
. I said that Chase hasn’t told me what had happened between the two of you, not that I didn’t know. If I’m being honest, I probably know much more than I should,” he admits. “But, I’m not going to tell either of you anything because it’s not my place. Besides, you’re right. I have my own relationship to worry about,” he says, meeting my gaze before turning back to face Sophie again. “Don’t do something you’ll regret, Sophie. You don’t even have to talk to him. You could just turn your phone back on and answer the damned thing!” I watch him reach for the door and when our eyes meet again, he gestures for me to follow him outside.
Sophie immediately walks back into her room,
closing the door and locking it again behind her.
I walk out to the front porch where Drake is waiting patiently
. Neither one of us look as though we’re doing great either.
“Analise,” he says softly
, making my dead heart flutter back to life. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” I admit as he steps closer to me,
while wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I rest my head against his hard chest, inhaling his masculine scent and feeling as though I’m home. “Why are we doing this, Drake?”
“Nothing has changed, Baby,” he whispers. “You’re still holding back from me and you know we can’t move forward like that.”
I look at him and let out a frustrated sigh. “You saw her, Drake. I can’t leave her alone like this.”
His hands cup my face and he looks into my eyes before speaking
again. “You said that before when nothing was wrong, Analise.”
I know he has me there.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper and he presses his lips to my forehead gently, lingering there for a few moments.
“Me too
, Baby.” I watch him as he backs away from me slowly, taking my hand in his before softly squeezing it in his own. “I’m not going anywhere,” he admits while letting out his own frustrated sigh, “but I won’t and can’t just have pieces of you. It’s all or nothing, Analise. You know that.”
I nod slowly
, watching him as he walks back to his car silently, turning slowly to face me again once before he climbs inside. “Let her work this one out on her own, okay?” I nod again, understanding his meaning and wave goodbye to him as he sped off, my heart flat lining again.
***
Chase
It has been almost
two weeks without so much as a word from her. The amount of unanswered calls, texts, and emails would make even a stalker cringe,
I’m a complete and total mess.
I thought that what I went through when Lauren cheated on me was bad, but compared to what I’m feeling right now, that was a cake walk.
I’ve never been more miserable in my life. I know
that if something doesn’t give soon, I’ll either completely lose my mind, or drown my recently over abused liver.
Up until recently, I’ve been fortunate enough to sulk in private
on most nights, but thanks to Drake walking in during my all-time low last night, I’m heading to the bar at his insistence.
He walked in to
the house and found me lying in the empty bathtub of the guest bathroom. I was fully clothed and crying. I was gripping hard onto a bottle of Jack while singing along to ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ as it blared out through the speakers across each and every room of my house.
“Dude,” he
’d said from the doorway, which made me instantly regret giving him a spare key. “What the fuck? Why are you getting drunk in your bathtub?”
“It’s the only place in this shithole that doesn’t remind me of her,” I admit
ted as I threw back the remaining drops from the bottle.
“Oh good,” he
said. “I thought maybe by the smell in here you’d started bathing in whiskey. How long have you …?” I put my finger up to stop him as I sang along with the song that had just restarted for most likely the fiftieth time of the night.
“Is this on a fuckin’ loop?” He
asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose before leaving me so he could go in search for the remote.
I continue
d to sing and cut him off again as I clutched the bottle to my chest.
“Dude, you have to
…“
I completely ignor
ed him. He had no idea what I needed. Bonnie Tyler and Jack Daniel’s were the only ones who understood me. I continued to wail drunkenly from the tub.
“Alright,” he sa
id as he shut off the music. He reached for my arm to help me out of the tub. “I think you’re done for the night.”
Once I’d
stumbled out of the bathroom with his help, he directed me to the other side of my living room near the entrance of my bedroom. I haven’t yet been able to sleep in my room without her. When I told him as much, he walked me over to the couch where I guess I must have collapsed.
This morning when I woke up, he recount
ed the night before to me and made me give him my word that I’ll get out for a while tonight. He offered to come with me, but if I can’t be with Sophie, then I don’t want to be with anyone.
The bar on the other side of town isn’t one I prefer
, but I don’t think I can handle running in to Ana again, especially after the ass chewing she gave me over the phone the other day.
It’s a Saturday night and all I really want is to get hammered and forget my own existence for a few hours.
The past two weeks have been brutal, nothing short of my own personal hell on Earth and everything in my house reminds me of
Sophie. I know that I just need to get out for a couple hours, so I can pretend that I haven’t already died inside.
I find an empty table in the back corner of the bar and throw my jacket down on the chair before settl
ing in for a long night of nothingness.
The waitress makes her way over
. After a couple minutes of trying to make idle chit chat with me, she must realize that I’m not in the mood and so she walks away to get the beer and shots I just ordered from her.
A couple of minutes pass by before she approaches me again,
placing my drinks down in front of me. Setting up my tab with her, I proceed to tell her to keep them coming.
I
then call Drake and he tells me that he’ll come and pick me up at one o’clock, so at least I know I don’t have to drive myself home. By the time I leave here tonight, I plan to not remember that I have a heart inside my chest, let alone the girl who has broken it into a million pieces.
About an hour after I
first sat down, I find that I’m staring down at the bracelet I’d given to Sophie. I found it on the nightstand in my bedroom last Monday and have carried it around with me ever since. I’m feeling a pretty good buzz as things are beginning to numb out, but my attention’s drawn upwards when the chair across from me makes an obnoxious dragging sound across the wooden floor. I look up and scowl when I see Lauren occupying the seat opposite to me.
“What?” I snap
, seeing her feigning her shock from my outburst.
“Wow,” she sa
ys. “I don’t remember you being such a moody drinker, Babe.”
“Don’t call me Babe, Lauren. What
the fuck do you want?”
“How are things with you and Sara?”
she has the audacity to smirk her question and it takes everything I have to not turn the table over. I’ve never hit a woman and I never plan to, but I sure wouldn’t mind screaming at her right now.
“Seriously?”
“What’s wrong? Trouble in paradise?” she leans closer towards me and throws me a wink. “I’d be happy to help you out if you’re looking for a way to pass the time.”
“There’s not enough alcohol in the world, Lauren.”
She actually looks sincerely hurt by my remark, but I really couldn’t care less. She’s totally fucked up everything I had with Sophie, so her feelings are the very least of my concern.
“What the hell is wrong with you anyway? Why did you send that picture to her, Lauren? What the fuck did I ever do to you?”
her lips begin to quiver a little before she appears to regain her control. She doesn’t say anything as she looks down to her hands. “You know, even when I found out that you’d fucked half the town behind my back, I never treated you badly, Lauren.
Ever
. What the hell did I do to deserve this shit from you? Tell me, Lauren, tell me what I did!”
“You didn’t do anything to deserve it,
Chase. I was … I guess I was just jealous,” she admits. “I saw how the two of you were together. It made me remember how good things were with us. I want it back. I want
you
back, Chase.”
“You’re right. Things were alright with us, Lauren. Things were good until you started sleeping with every
other guy in town,” I spit out at her. “But you know what? The things you did are more than enough to turn me off being with you ever again. Even if it hadn’t, what you and I had was nothing compared to what I had with her. My worst day with Sophie was paradise compared to my best day with you, Lauren,” I say before throwing back another shot. “Why the hell do you care what I do anyway? You never gave two shits about me or our relationship until it was over. Even then, the only thing you ever wanted was to make me miserable and use me. What? Was making me look like a complete fucking idiot in front of the whole town not good enough for you?” She lowers her head and begin to wipe the tears away from her eyes, but I just shake my head at her. “No, Lauren, you don’t get to cry! I’m the one who gets to do all the crying, remember? I’m the one who gets to be unhappy all the time, right?”