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Authors: STEPHANIE LAURENS

The Promise in a Kiss (21 page)

BOOK: The Promise in a Kiss
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Again and again Helena found herself outwardly expressing an expectation of joy while inwardly experiencing the certainty of despair.

To her surprise, after that unnerving moment in his study when she'd become so engrossed in wondering how and when he'd met Fabien and won the dagger—considering them both, that was the most likely avenue by which Sebastian had come to possess it—that he'd startled her to the point she'd nearly told him all, since that time Sebastian had set himself to entertain her with stories of his ancestors, of his family, of his childhood—of his personal life.

Tales she knew he had told no one else.

Like the time he'd got stuck in the huge oak by the stables and had had to fall to get down. How frightened he'd been. Like how much he'd loved his first pony, how distraught he'd been when it died.

Not that he'd told her of that last, not in words. Instead, he'd stopped and abruptly changed the subject.

If he hadn't been trying so transparently hard to be transparent, she might have wondered if, despite his vow and even his intention not to manipulate her feelings, he simply couldn't help himself. Instead, all he said he said directly, even sometimes reluctantly, as if he were laying all that he was, all his past and by inference his future, at her feet. The less-than-complimentary as well as the laudable, exposing all without restriction, trusting her to understand and judge him kindly.

As indeed she did.

The days rolled quietly past, and she fell ever more deeply under his spell, came to yearn even more desperately that all he was offering her she could claim.

Knowing she couldn't.

She wished, beyond desperately, that she could tell him of Fabien's plan, but gentle tales did not in any way disguise the sort of man he was. Ruthless, hard, and at some time he and Fabien must have been rivals—nothing was more likely. If she told him her story, showed him the letters . . . he would not be human if he didn't wonder if all along she had been Fabien's pawn but now, with the splendor of the life of his duchess spread before her, she'd chosen to change her allegiance.

He'd made it clear what level of commitment he sought from her, made it clear he did not want her agreeing because of all the material gains she would enjoy. After the trust he'd shown her, she couldn't now accept his proposal, show him the letters, claim his protection, and leave him forever suspecting her motives.

And what if he declined to help her? What if she told him and he refused all aid? What if the nature of his relationship with Fabien was such that he rejected her utterly?

She would never get the dagger, and Ariele . . .

Telling him was a risk she could not take.

Instead, she watched each day fade, watched the time for taking the dagger inexorably approach. Stubbornly, she clung to her last gasp of defiance, refusing to deny herself her last precious moments in the warmth of Sebastian's company, in the security of his embrace.

Her last hours of happiness.

Once she fled Somersham, betrayed him and left, one part of her life would be over. No other could ever mean as much to her as he now did; no other could take his place.

In her heart—he'd been right about that. The answer to his question was already engraved there—she knew what it was.

Knew she would never get a chance to tell him.

Guilt and a looming sense of incipient loss weighed on her spirits even through the hours she spent riding, laughing, talking, strolling the huge house by his side. She held the darkness at bay, shut it into a small corner of her mind, but it was still there.

Her one regret was that they would not love again. His stance was all that was noble, and she was not so unkind as to press him—she didn't have that right. To take from him that which she only rightly could if she was intending to be his wife. No, his way was better, certainly wiser.

But she still mourned the loss of the closeness they'd shared. Only now did she truly understand the word “intimacy”; the act had affected her more deeply than she'd expected, bonded them in some way, on some other plane. Having experienced the joy once, she would always long to experience it again.

She knew she never would.

But she had no choice. Ariele was her sister, and her responsibility.

Sebastian watched her, undeceived by her laughs, by her smiles. Behind them she was increasingly fragile; the light in her eyes was growing dimmer by the day. He'd tried by all means he knew to encourage her to trust him; on all logical levels he knew she did. Emotionally . . .

Despite all, he couldn't bring himself to press her, not any longer through any lack of self-assurance but simply because he—he who had never before drawn back from a necessary act because of another's feelings—couldn't bring himself to torture hers.

Any more than she already was.

He doubted she knew he knew, doubted she had any idea how much he saw every time her gaze grew distant, pensive—before she realized he was watching, put up her mask and put on her smile.

It was the letters, he was sure. They still sat on her dressing table tucked behind her jewel case; he'd entered her room and checked on a number of occasions while she was safely downstairs. Both letters showed evidence of being read and refolded countless times. He'd been tempted, sorely tempted, but he hadn't read them.

Yet.

If she didn't confide in him soon, he would.

He'd wanted her to trust him enough to tell him of her own accord, but she hadn't. He now suspected she wouldn't. Which left him wondering what—or who—was so powerful, had such a strong grip on her heart, that they could command such absolute obedience.

Such unswerving devotion.

“V
illard says it is not in his chamber.”

Helena kept her gaze fixed on the winter landscape beyond the library windows. Shades of brown showed through the hoarfrost that had laid siege to the land. Louis had found her here, alone; she'd retreated here to allow Sebastian to finish in peace some business that he'd admitted was urgent.

Louis closed his hand about her upper arm, almost shook her. “I tell you, you
must
do it soon.” When she said nothing, he thrust his face close to hers. “Do you hear me?”

She'd stilled; now she turned her head and looked Louis in the eye. “Unhand me.”

Her voice was low, even, uninflected. Centuries of command lay behind it.

Louis shifted, then released her. “We are running out of time.” He glanced around, confirming they were still alone. “We have already been here longer than a week. I have heard there are family members expected in a few days. Who knows when St. Ives will run out of patience and decide we should go?”

“He will not.”

Louis humphed. “So you say. But once his family is here . . .” He glanced at Helena. “There is talk of a wedding, as one might expect, but I do not like it. It is tempting fate to dally. You must get the dagger soon—tonight.”

“I told you, it must be in his study.” Helena turned her head and regarded him coolly. “Why don't you get it?”

“I would, but Uncle has declared it must be you, and”—he shrugged—“I can see his point.”

“His point?”

“If you steal it, St. Ives will not bruit the matter abroad. He will not make any public accusations nor seek to take any public revenge, because he will not want it known he was bested by a female.”

“I see.” Helena turned once more to her contemplation of the lawns. “So it must be me.”


Oui
—and it must be soon.”

Helena felt the net draw tight, felt its bite. She sighed. “I will look tonight.”

S
he waited until after the clocks had chimed midnight before she set out. Even then she wasn't sure that Sebastian would have quit his study, but she could look over the banisters halfway down the stairs and see if light shone from beneath the study door. Determined, she stepped out—she wasn't fool enough to skulk but walked briskly, confidently, along the corridor, keeping to the runner so her footsteps were muffled.

The corridor led to the long gallery. She reached its end and turned into the foyer at the top of the stairs—

And walked into a wall of muscle and bone.

She gasped. Sebastian caught her before she staggered back.

“What . . .” In the weak light from the uncurtained windows, she took in the fact that he was dressed in a silk robe and, she suspected, little else. She felt her eyes widen; undirected, her hands spread over his chest as he drew her to him. She looked up and met his gaze.

Saw one brown brow arch.
“Mignonne.”

Where are you going?
He didn't ask, but the words were there nonetheless, implicit in his quiet watchfulness.

She dragged in a breath, felt her breasts swell against his chest. “What are you doing here?”

He studied her face. “I was coming to see you.”

And you?
his ensuing silence prompted.

The fact that, on one point at least, his patience had reached its limits was easy to read in the set of his features, the granite planes of his face. Limned by the pale light, they were etched with brutally reined desire. Beneath her hands, his body told the same tale; the wide, warm muscles were tense with need.

“I was . . .”
Coming to see you?
A lie. She moistened her lips, looked at his. “I wanted to see you.”

The words had barely passed her lips before he sealed them with his. The kiss was savage in its intensity, fair warning of what was to come.

She pushed her arms up, wrapped them about his neck, welcomed that kiss, kissed him back with equal fervor.

Damned Fabien's scheme to one last night of delay.

Gladly gave herself—for one last night of passion—into Sebastian's arms.

She
had
wanted to see him, exactly like this, precisely for this reason. She wanted one last chance to show him all he meant to her, even if she could never tell him, never give him the words he wanted to hear. She could tell him in other ways.

Sebastian broke from the kiss; it had already raged beyond his control. Control—what a joke. He'd thought, despite all, despite the roiling need that had him in its grip, that the accumulated years of experience would see him still master of his desire.

Two minutes and she'd cindered every rein he possessed. Deliberately.

Held fast in his arms, she pressed against him, her supple curves, her lush lips, the trailing taunt of her fingers on his cheek, the rise and fall of her breasts against his chest—all a flagrant siren's call as old as time.

Her eyes glinted up at him from beneath her heavy lids.

So be it.

“Your room.” His tone was gravelly with desire. “Come.”

He released her, locked his hand about hers, and strode for her chamber. He didn't dare make more contact, had to move fast if he wanted to reach the privacy of her room. She hurried beside him without protest, committed, equally focused.

They reached her door, and he set it swinging wide. She went through, and he followed her.

Pushed the door closed behind him, never taking his eyes from her. He heard the latch click; in the same instant she turned to him and smiled her madonna's smile.

Held out her arms. “Come. Let us love.”

A lamp was turned low on her dressing table. Even in the weak illumination, the light that shone in her face, in her eyes, was impossible to mistake. He crossed to her without thought, drawn by all he could read, all she let him see. He took her hands, raised them to his shoulders, released them, slid his hands about her waist, and drew her to him.

Bent his head to hers. “
Mignonne,
you must tell me if I hurt you.”

Her fingers slid into his hair. “You will not.”

Their lips met, fused—all pretense at rationality, at control, slid away. She pressed herself to him, drew him deep into the heated cavern of her mouth, teased him with her tongue, wantonly invited him to ravish, to ravage, to plunder. She was with him every step of the way—every step further into the maelstrom of desire, into the whirlpool of physical and emotional energies that sparked about them. It drew them in, drew them down.

Into a world where passion ruled and desire reigned triumphant.

He was ravenous; she flagrantly encouraged him to devour. He wanted—she tempted him to take. He wanted to possess her so utterly she would never doubt she was his—she dared him, challenged him, urged him on—wanted him to do it.

Head reeling, he broke from the kiss to feel his robe slide from his shoulders. Desire burned beneath his skin, a sensual flame. She spread her hands over his flesh as if she could sense it, as if she sought to conjure it, to feed the fire. Chest heaving, he watched her face, watched the womanly wonder as she realized how much power she held over him—watched fascination dawn as it occurred to her just how she could wield it.

Her lips curved. She looked down. Let one hand slide from his chest, slowly down to his groin. He gritted his teeth at the feather-light touch, bit back a groan as she stroked, then closed her hand about him.

Saw her smile deepen.

Thought he would die when she brushed her thumb over his throbbing head.

He reached for her—and suddenly realized she was still fully dressed. Knew he would never be satisfied until she lay naked beneath him. He backed her to the bed. She clasped his side, her other hand cradling him. Looked up when he pinned her against the side of the bed. He kissed her deeply, letting his demons plunder, and set his fingers to her laces.

Stripping her bodice, panniers, skirts, and petticoats from her took mere minutes; with another woman he might have dallied, stretched the moments. With her he couldn't wait, refused to wait.

Then she was naked but for her fine chemise—the last barrier between his skin and hers.

He paused. She'd stood naked before him before; later she would lie naked beneath him again. But for now . . .

BOOK: The Promise in a Kiss
12.11Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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