The Promise of Surrender (10 page)

Authors: Liliana Hart

Tags: #1001 Dark Nights, #Romance, #Surrender, #mackenzie, #Liliana Hart

BOOK: The Promise of Surrender

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The waves of his anger were palpable, and she knew if he had something to punch he would have. He’d take responsibility for Tina’s death. Blame himself. That part hadn’t changed. He’d always felt a personal responsibility—whether it was to the lowest kind of informant or one of his undercover officers. Everyone was
his
. He cared. Too deeply sometimes, and that’s why he’d had such a hard time walking away from the job.

“She came in the shop last week,” Mia said. She understood now. Knew why he’d been holding things back from her. He was working an op and he’d been using Tina to gather intel.

“I know,” he said. “Just like I know you’ve got the music box. I snooped through your bag the other night while you were asleep.”

Her lips pressed together, but she couldn’t be mad. She’d have done the same thing if their positions had been reversed.

“I knew I could trust you with the information that’s hidden in that music box. So I told Tina to be patient and wait, and then to take it from Wild Bill when she could. He’s the club president and she was given a certain amount of freedom that the other women didn’t have. She waited until they were gone to a club meeting and then took the music box. She told the other girls she was heading out to get her nails done. And she never looked back once she hit the road.

“She contacted me immediately. We told her we’d bring her in for protection if she brought us the box, but she didn’t trust cops. Some habits die hard, and she felt she’d be safer on her own. So we had to come up with another plan. I gave her the address for your shop and told her to sell it to you and only you. She was determined to escape, despite the danger she knew she was in.”

“That’s a brave thing for a twenty-six-year-old woman to do. Especially one that’s been trained to that kind of lifestyle, where she’s taught early on that she has no independence or choices. The club’s will is her will,” Mia said.

“She was different,” Zeke agreed. “Had backbone. And plans. She’d known from the start she’d work her way up, get some cash here and there on the side, and then move on. Neither of us saw it ending like this. She never made it to the checkpoint site. I knew that meant she was dead. I just didn’t want to face it.”

“I’m sorry, Zeke. I know it never gets easier.”

“You almost get numb to it. And that’s a dangerous thing.”

“How’d you know I’d keep it?” she asked. “That’s a hell of a risk to take on a hunch.”

“I’ve always known you, Mia. Better than you know yourself. I knew you’d want it for your own. You had a collection of antique jewelry boxes in our apartment. And if all else failed, I knew you’d never sell it back to the biker just out of principle. It’s that intrinsic sense of justice you have. If you hadn’t taken it for yourself, you would’ve saved it for some kid or some older woman who needed a special birthday gift for her granddaughter but didn’t have a lot of budget.”

“I don’t like being pegged so easily,” she said.

“You’re a big softy, Mia Russo. And everybody knows it. It’s why I’m glad you left the job when you did. It would’ve eventually broken you completely. You’re not able to cut off your emotions and compartmentalize as well as some of us.”

She frowned, thinking it was a criticism.

“That’s a good thing, babe. It’s what made you so good at your job. But it’s what tore you up too. We can’t save everyone.”

“Would it help if I told you that about Tina?” she asked.

His smile was pensive. “No, I guess not. That’s part of the job too. We think we can save everyone. And when we can’t it’s a hard dose of reality not easily accepted.”

“You’ve gotten very philosophical in your old age.”

“I think you just learn to appreciate what’s important in life the older you get.”

The way he looked at her made her feel like he was looking at her through a microscope. Like he could see her wants and fears and dreams. And that she loved him still. It was a distinctly uncomfortable feeling so she turned away and tried to find something to do with her hands.

Her gaze caught on her backpack that was still propped on the floor, and she went over to it and pulled out the wrapped box. She hadn’t had the chance to look at it herself. Zeke had ears like a fox, and if she’d tried to wake up in the middle of the night to look at it, he’d have heard her. She took it to the table and unwrapped it, and then set it on the table gently.

“What was in it?” she asked.

“It was a recipe for a new amphetamine. It’s not controlled by the USFDA and it’s not considered an illegal substance. You heard about the raids down in Wyoming?” he asked.

“As much as anyone. I try not to watch the news anymore.”

“Consider yourself lucky. The Vaqueros opened fire on a restaurant on a Friday night after work. All in all, twenty-eight people were killed and a man name Joaquin Rivera was kidnapped. He was a scientist for the Del Fuego cartel before they were disbanded, and then one of the other cartels bought him because he’s a very brilliant man with a twisted mind. He just happened to be in the United States visiting his sister, and The Vaqueros took full advantage of his visit. They tortured the recipe from him, shot him in the head, and brought it back to their territory here for their own cooks to experiment with.”

“It would be worth millions on the open market.”

“I know. But now we have it, thanks to Tina. And thanks to you. As far as we know this is the only copy.”

“So that’s the real reason you came to Surrender,” she said. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? I would’ve helped had I known.”

“Because that’s not the main reason I came to Surrender. It would’ve been much more convenient to set her up with a pawnshop a hundred miles away where our office is located. I came for you. Because I was tired of living without you. And anger and hurt can only carry a person so far before there’s nothing left but emptiness.

“We made our mistakes, Mia. Both of us. I was too driven and you were afraid. And the timing wasn’t right. But that doesn’t mean we weren’t right. My feelings for you have never changed. I went through phases where I wanted to blame you—hate you—but I couldn’t because that would be like blaming myself—hating myself. And I didn’t have the guts to live with that. Because you were the very best part of me.”

She stared at him, her eyes pooling with tears, but they never fell. Panic enveloped him as she stayed silent and wrapped her arms around herself protectively. Couldn’t she see she was holding his heart? He was giving her everything he had. And the promise of the man he wanted to be for her.

“What will it take, Mia? I don’t have to take the job in Carson. I’ve been offered several administrative positions. Hell, I was even offered the chance to teach criminal justice classes at Declan College. Riley MacKenzie recommended me to the Dean. I don’t have to be a cop. I love it. But it doesn’t define me. All I know is that I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you. What do you say? Can we give this a shot for real this time?”

* * * *

Mia felt numb on the inside—paralyzed by his words. For the first time in as long as she could remember the right thing to say wasn’t waiting to roll off her tongue. Her vocal cords were frozen and she didn’t seem to have any control over her emotions because she could’ve sworn she felt a tear slide down her cheek.

“Baby, you’re killing me,” he said. “Is the thought of spending your life with me that repulsive? I’ve never seen you speechless.” He tried to smile but she could see he didn’t quite have the ability to make it believable. He was serious. And she was terrified.

She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Frustrated, she swiped the tear away from her cheek and wiped her hand on her jeans.

“Listen, we can take things slow,” he said, rushing to speak to fill the silence. “I was going to buy a place here in Surrender. I like it here and it’s an easy commute no matter where I decide to take a job. I was hoping it would be our home together, but we can live apart. You said we missed the dating stage. Now’s our chance to make up for all that.”

She wiped another tear away and laughed. The sound was rough and foreign, but at least she’d gotten something out. “Seven years too late,” she said and watched his face fall into that empty mask he adopted whenever he didn’t want someone to know if he was hurt.

And then she moved into him, wrapping her arms around him and crushing her mouth against his. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him, and then she leaned back and looked into his eyes.

“We’re long past the dating stage,” she said, rubbing her thumb along the edge of his beard. “Don’t make me wait any longer for you. I’ve wanted you for an eternity.” Her lips twitched and she said, “Maybe we can be grownups this time and have a serious relationship.” She kissed him again and let her legs drop to the ground.

“Jesus, you scared the hell out of me.”

“You took me by surprise. A part of me still thought you might leave.”

He squeezed her tight and she could feel him shaking his head. “Such little faith. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll figure out some way to punish you.”

“I can only imagine,” she said, shivering against him at the thought of what was to come.

She looked him in the eyes, wanting him to know she spoke the truth. “Zeke, if you love being a cop then I want you to be a cop. Why would I ever ask you to do something you don’t love? I love you too much to not want that for you. Whether you’re back working patrol or you’re sitting behind a desk. Make the choice. I’ll love you any way.”

The relief on his face told her she’d said the right thing. And she’d meant it. His happiness was as important as anything else. This time around they were going to put each other first and learn the value of compromise.

“If you don’t like the house maybe we could keep living above the bakery for a while,” he said. “I could get used to the smell of cinnamon rolls in the morning.”

Mia moved in close so her breasts rubbed against him, and she nipped at his chest. “I could get used to having my way with you in the mornings.”

His hands tangled in her hair and she leaned her head back so his lips could seek hers. “That’s even better than cinnamon rolls,” he whispered.

They were both laughing as he kissed her.

The End

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