The Proposal (7 page)

“Oh, so now you’re telling me to eat?”

“You’re supposed to be eating a lot of green, leafy
vegetables for the folic acid.”

She arched her brows in surprise. “And just how do
you know that?”

Through a mouthful of baked potato, he said, “
What
to Expect While You’re Expecting
.”

Her heartbeat thundered in her chest so loud she was
sure he could hear it. “You actually read the book I gave you?”

He bobbed his head as he shoveled in a bite of
steak. “Read some others too,” he muttered between chewing.

She stared at him in disbelief. When he finally
looked at her and not his plate, he grinned. “So eat your salad.”

Pursing her lips, she glared at him for a moment
before picking up her fork. Once she filled her mouth with an enormous bite of
lettuce, she mumbled, “Happy?”

“Mmm, hmm. Eat your steak too. Noah needs his
protein.”

Emma snorted exasperatedly but did as she was told.
When she cleaned her salad plate, Aidan clapped for her. She laughed in spite
of herself. “I don’t think two people have ever been so obsessed with one
meal,” she mused.

“I guess we both benefit from having someone take
care of us.”

“Maybe,” she murmured.

After pushing his empty plate out of the way,
Aidan’s expression grew grave. “I need to tell you the truth about what
happened with Amy.”

“I already know.” At Aidan’s puzzled expression, she
replied, “Becky told me about how you tried for a year to get her back. How you
became an alcoholic…had to go to therapy. It really doesn’t affect us.”

Aidan cringed. “Yeah, well, that’s only half of the
story.”

A chill ran over Emma, causing her to shudder. “What
do you mean?”

“Only Amy, Pop, and I know the real truth.” He
downed the rest of his beer and shook the bottle at the waitress as she passed
by.

“So tell me,” Emma prompted.

“After all of our years together, Amy was desperate
for us to get married.” He drew in a ragged breath. “She was so desperate that
she went as far as to try to trap me into marrying her.”

The world tilted and spun around Emma. “You mean…”

“Yes, she was pregnant.”

Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh my God.”

“The second time we got back together we weren’t
swimming competitively, so she started broaching the subject of not doing
double the contraception anymore. After awhile, she finally wore me down. She
was on birth control, so I figured that was enough. I stopped using condoms.”

Emma arched her eyebrows at his admission. “You told
me I was the first woman you’d ever been inside of without a condom.”

He scowled at her. “Yeah, well, excuse me if I
thought it would have totally fucked up the moment by admitting that after
going off condoms just twice, my ex-girlfriend got pregnant.” He gave a bark of
a laugh at Emma’s gasp. “Yeah, I’m pretty potent, huh? That’s how I knew I
would be a good candidate to knock you up.”

“That’s a disgusting way of putting it,” Emma
hissed.

Aidan’s expression softened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t
mean for it to come out like that.”

“Anyway, so Amy got pregnant on birth control?”

A bitter smile then twisted on his face. “Oh no. An
accidental pregnancy? That would have been easy to forgive. After all, the
fucking directions on the box even admit it’s only 98% effective.” His fingers
ripped at the label on his beer. “Nope. A year into us being back together and
me running like hell from any commitment, she stopped taking her birth control
without my knowledge.”

“Oh Aidan,” Emma murmured. She didn’t know what else
to say. “So you’re trying to tell me you have a child out there somewhere?”

The angry expression drained off his face and was
replaced by one of absolute sorrow. “I wish that were the case.”

Emma couldn’t help but reach across the table and
take his hand in hers. “What happened?” she prodded.

The waitress returned with his beer, and Aidan
drowned half of it before speaking again. “A few weeks before I found out she
was pregnant, Amy and I had been out partying with some friends, and I got
plastered. That night as I was digging around in the medicine cabinet for some
Advil, I accidentally knocked her birth control in the sink. You can imagine
how surprised I was when it was unused, not to mention the prescription hadn’t
been refilled in two months. When I confronted her, she admitted she’d stopped
taking it because she thought a baby would solidify our relationship.”

Aidan shuddered. “I was furious. I packed my things
and left for my parents. I refused to talk to her or see her.” He leaned
forward on his elbows. “Kinda like what you’ve been doing to me.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Finish the damn story,
Aidan.”

He held up his hands. “Fine then. She eventually
came to my office and showed me the pregnancy test.” He gave Emma a sad smile.
“The fact that the Amy I thought I knew and loved had betrayed me by trapping
me into getting married was terrible, but the worst part was the fact I was
scared out of my freaking mind at the prospect of being a father at
twenty-four.” He took two long pulls from his beer. “I’m sure you can imagine
what happened next.”

Her stomach turned at the prospect. “Go on,” she
instructed.

He sneered at her. “You want me to actually say the
words?”

“Fine. That’s when Amy caught you screwing another
woman.”

“Yes,” he croaked.

Emma narrowed her eyes. “Wow, I guess we have a lot
in common. Maybe we should get t-shirts that say, ‘We were both fucked over by
Aidan Fitzgerald’!”

“Em, please,” he begged.

She huffed out an exasperated breath. “Fine.
Continue.”

“Amy threw me out of the house that night. The next
morning I went back over and tried to reason with her. I told her I was sorry,
that I loved her, and that in spite of what had happened between her trying to
trap me and then me screwing someone else, I still wanted to marry her. She
wouldn’t have it. She got into the car and sped away.”

Emma’s brows shot up in surprise at the tears
sparkling in Aidan’s eyes. “She ran a stop sign in the subdivision trying to
get away from me. A car smashed into the driver’s side. Thankfully, she walked
away with just a few scrapes and bruises.” His chest rose and fell in harsh
pants. “But she miscarried later that day.”

Involuntarily, Emma reached out and took Aidan’s
hand in hers again. His expression, his tears, and his words broke her heart.
All the pieces of his puzzle finally fell into place.

“All these years you’ve felt guilty about the baby,
haven’t you?”

He nodded, swiping the tears from his cheeks. “I
never wanted it, and then I…killed it.” He started sobbing then. Emma chewed
her lip and fought herself from rising out of the booth and going over to him.
Her better judgment lost out, and she found herself cradling him in her arms.
The old Aidan she knew would never have cried, least of all in public. He was
absolutely broken by the ghosts of the past and present.

She rubbed wide circles over his back. “You’re not
to blame for what happened with the baby, Aidan, any more than Amy is just
because she was driving too fast and ran the stop sign. Accidents happen.”

Raising his head, he swiped the tears from his
cheeks. “Accidents may happen, but people never forget them…or forgive them.”

Emma ignored the double meaning of his statement in
regards to her. “I’m sure time has helped to heal any bad feelings Amy had for
you. I’m sure she’s struggled with her own guilt over what she did to you by
trying to trap you.”

He shrugged. “I hope so. She certainly helped to
screw me up for every other woman.” His blue eyes honed in on hers. “Maybe it’s
me who can’t forgive. If it hadn’t been for her, maybe I wouldn’t have fucked
things up so epically with you.”

“Maybe,” she murmured.

His fingers came to grip her chin. Tilting her gaze
up to meet his, he shook his head. “For the most part, our proposition was
about me getting the chance to have sex with you, and I did promise my late
mother I would one day have children. But it was also about being able to find redemption
with myself…and with God. I thought if I could help you bring a baby into the
world, it might take away the hurt of the past.”

Emma’s mouth dropped open in surprise. For a few
moments, she could only stare at him in utter and complete shock. All this time
he really had possessed a deeper, more admirable desire for wanting to be her
sperm donor.

“Do you hate me now because of that?”

She shook her head wildly back and forth. “No, how
could you even think that?”

“It’s just you were staring at me and not saying
anything. I thought you might feel used or deceived.”

“That’s not it at all. In fact, I was thinking much
more highly of you because of what you told me.”

“Really?”

“I’m glad having Noah is a way you feel you can
repent for what you did. It’s never too late for redemption, Aidan.”

A hopeful look entered his tortured eyes. “I’d give
anything and everything in this world to redeem myself with you. Just please,
please give me the chance.”

Emma couldn’t hold the intensity of his desperate
gaze any longer. Staring down at her lap, she fought to breathe. Her mind
whirled with trying to process her out of control thoughts while her chest
heaved with emotion. Did she really want to give him the chance to redeem
himself? Could she actually do that to herself and her heart? And if she denied
him, how was she even to have him a part of Noah’s life without letting her
feelings get in the way?

“Please, Em,” he begged.

“I guess I can try,” she finally replied. When she
glanced back up at him, his blue eyes shone with determination. “I’m not making
any promises.”

He smiled. “I can take that—I can take whatever
you’re willing to give me.”

Jenny interrupted them by bringing over their check.
“Would you like some dessert?”

Emma laughed when she appeared to be asking her more
than Aidan. She patted her very full belly. “No, I think I’m good.”

Aidan swept his hand inside his jacket pocket for
his wallet. Without even glancing at the bill, he stuffed a wad of cash in the
envelope. When Jenny started to protest at his generosity, he shook his head.
“I owe a lot more than that to you and your dad for taking care of me in the
last few weeks.”

“We were happy to do it.” Jenny leaned over and gave
Aidan a quick hug. “Just promise to take care of yourself, and we’ll call it even,
okay?”

He nodded as his eyes burned into Emma’s. “I’m
already feeling like my old self again.”

She cocked her eyebrows at him. “Let’s hope that’s
not every aspect of your old self,” she said, rising out of the booth.

“Damn, Em, do you always have to shred me with those
freakin’ claws of yours?” he grumbled as he stood up.

Jenny threw a worried glance between the two of them
before forcing a smile to her face. “Well, I hope to see you guys again soon.”

Emma gave Jenny a reassuring smile. “Thanks you.” After
giving her a quick hug, she started out of the bar. Aidan hurried to catch up
with her. He stepped in front of her just before she could open the door.

“Thank you,” she mumbled, trying to ignore the
little zap of electricity she felt when his body touched hers. She edged away
from him as they started back to his car. The drive over to the VFW was silent
except for the muted sound of the radio playing love songs that were like
spikes to her broken heart.

When they pulled up to her abandoned car, she didn’t
want to leave him. Her brain screamed for her to pick up her hands and feet and
get going. Finally, as her hand reached for the door handle, Aidan grabbed her
shoulder. “Wait!” he cried.

CHAPTER FIVE

Aidan’s chest tightened at the prospect of letting
Emma out of his sight for even a second. They had come so far in the last few
hours he was afraid it might all fade like a dream if they didn’t remain
together. He was desperate for anything to keep her with him. A thought flashed
in his mind, and he blurted, “Can I see Beau?”

Emma stared down at her lap. He could tell she was
raging a battle within herself about whether to let him come over. “Please?” he
pressed.

Her shoulders sagged, but she raised her head and
smiled. “Of course. I mean, he does miss you.”

Aidan gave a bark of a laugh. “I doubt it. He chose
you over me, didn’t he?” He was then assaulted with the painful memory of the
night Emma caught him with Heather. The sight of Beau running after Emma,
nudging her stomach and whining to go with her, cut through to his heart the
same way it did that night. Shuddering, he forced a smile to his face. “I’m
sure he’s too busy eating table scraps and lying around on your couch to miss
me.”