Authors: Katie Ashley
Tags: #friends to lovers friends with benefits coworker relationships babies
“Then I would be honored.”
“Thank you, sweetheart,” Patrick embraced
Emma, squeezing her tight. “Thank you most of all for being such a
beautiful light in the world…and in my son’s life.”
Aidan stared at his father in horror. Had he
lost his mind? Emma wasn’t a light in his life…was she? He tried
ignoring the tears sparkling in Emma’s green eyes when she pulled
out of Patrick’s arms. She kissed him tenderly on the cheek. “Thank
you for wanting to be a part of my baby’s life.”
The continued exchange of
emotions between his father and Emma made it feel like all the air
in the room had been sucked out. Simply breathing in and out made
his chest feel like a Sumo wrestler was pressing down on
him.
A beautiful light in my son’s
life
kept replaying over and over again in
his mind.
Deep down inside him, a little voice agreed
with his father. Emma made him burn with desire one minute and
laugh the next. The way she interacted with Beau and his nephews
tugged at his heart. She was the kind of woman if he got physically
sick, she would be there to nurse him through it, and if he fell on
hard times emotionally, she would be his rock.
How had he been so fucking blind?
Aidan’s gaze wildly scanned the room. No, he
just needed to get out of his parent’s bedroom, out his father’s
house, and then maybe he would be able to think.
He cleared his throat. “I hate to be a party
pooper, but we really need to get going. I’ve got a lot to take
care of after being gone the last month.”
Patrick nodded. “I
understand, son. I’m just so glad you came by.” He smiled at Emma.
“That you
both
came by.”
It took Aidan a moment before he was able to
say, “So am I.”
Emma clutched the Christening gown to her
chest as she trailed Patrick out of the bedroom. Aidan followed
close on their heels. “Now that we’re acquainted, there’s no reason
for you to be a stranger. You know where I live, so you don’t have
to rely on Aidan to bring you by.”
Jesus, two hours with the girl, and his
father was already giving Emma full access to come over whenever
she felt like it. For all he knew, his father would get down all
the family photo albums or his old high school yearbooks to
entertain Emma with. What a nightmare.
Patrick gave Emma a final hug before turning
to Aidan. “Don’t be a stranger.”
“I’ll try.”
As Emma started down the porch steps, Patrick
grabbed Aidan’s arm. “Will you at least try to consider some of the
things we talked about?” he asked, in a hushed whisper.
“I’ll try, Pop. I really will.”
Patrick smiled. “Good. I’m glad to hear
it.”
Emma slipped into the passenger seat as Aidan
jogged down the front walk. When he slid inside the car, he exhaled
a long, ragged breath. Emma turned and gave him a tentative smile.
“That was…interesting.”
“You could say that,” he replied, cranking
up.
After he pulled out of the
driveway, he glanced over to see Emma running her fingers over the
fabric of the Christening gown. “I bet you were adorable wearing
this,” she remarked.
“No, I’ve seen the
pictures. I look like a chubby little pansy wearing a
dress.”
“You could never look like
a pansy,” she teased.
Aidan grunted in response.
Staring ahead, he gripped the steering wheel tighter, desperately
trying to keep control of the feelings raging within him. They
didn’t speak for a few minutes.
When Emma finally did, her
voice was strained. “I’m sorry for today.”
Aidan tore his gaze off the
road to stare at her. “What are you talking about?”
“Meeting your father. It
was too much pressure and commitment for you. I can
tell.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Oh please. You were about
to hyperventilate under the stress when we were in your parent’s
bedroom.” Emma shook her head. “I seriously started to worry you
were going to have a stroke or something.”
“It wasn’t that
bad.”
The skin on his cheek
singed from the glare Emma was giving him. “At least be honest
about the situation, Aidan.”
A low growl erupted from
the back of his throat. “Fine. That was a total and complete mind
fuck for me, okay?”
“That’s better.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious. I always want
you to be honest with me, especially about how you
feel.”
“Women always say that, and
then the moment you tell them how things are, you get verbally or
physically bitch slapped.”
Silence echoed through the
car for a few minutes. Finally, Emma spoke. “Look, I don’t have to
keep the gown. You can give it back to Patrick and explain to him
you only agreed to give your DNA, not yourself.”
He banged his fist into the
steering wheel. “Dammit, Em, that’s not what I want!”
Cutting across two lanes,
he wheeled into a supermarket parking lot. After screeching to a
stop, he killed the engine. When he turned to face Emma, her eyes
were wide, and she had pressed herself up against the door as far
away from him as possible. “When I said today was a mind-fuck, it
was in more ways than one. Seeing you with my father—the way he
reacted to you—it’s made me come unhinged. But not in the way you
think.”
“Oh?”
He shook his head. “When I
met you, my life was exactly like I wanted it to be. Then I was
only thinking with my dick when I thought I could get you pregnant
and walk away. And now…it’s all so fucking complicated I don’t know
which way is up anymore.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean
to cause problems for you or to be a burden.”
Aidan rolled his eyes.
“Jesus, Em, how can you even think that?”
Her brows furrowed.
“Because you said—”
With a frustrated grunt, he
raked his hands through his hair. “Dammit, I’m no good at this. I’m
saying and doing everything wrong.”
“I don’t understand,” she
murmured.
“Deep down, I’m still the
same person I was when we first started all this—no marriage, no
major commitment, no long-term relationships.” He sighed. “But…I
want to try to have more with you.”
Emma gasped. “You
do?”
He stared at her intently.
“Even though I hate to admit it, I really missed you while I was
gone.”
“Are you sure you didn’t
just miss the sex?”
He scowled at her. “Yeah,
I’m sure.”
She gave him a tentative
smile. “Then that’s very flattering.”
“Fuck, I didn’t think you’d
make me work this hard for it.”
“Excuse me?”
“I thought…” He shook his
head. “I thought you wanted
us
even more than I did.”
“I do,” she replied
softly.
“You have a hell of a way
of showing it.”
She glared at him. “Well,
you’re not really playing fair. You’ve been kind and considerate,
if not downright caring, the entire time we were trying to
conceive, yet you constantly kept me at arm’s length. Every time I
thought you might truly be interested in me, you’d shut down. And
now you wait to spring the fact you might want more when I’m a
hormone fueled emotional wreck.”
“What difference does that
make?”
“Everything!” She pointed
out the windshield to where a teenage bag boy was collecting carts.
“I’m so whacked out on hormones right now that kid could ask me to
marry him, and I would say yes.”
“That’s fucked up,” Aidan
mused.
“Yeah, it’s called
estrogen, and it’s working overtime right now. If you want to know
what that feels like, it’s kind of like how the massive dose of
testosterone pumping through you fuels the head below your waist,
driving most of your decisions.”
Aidan threw his head back
and laughed. “Are you trying to say I only think with my
dick?”
“I don’t think I’d be
pregnant right now if you didn’t,” Emma said softly.
His expression darkened.
“Am I to assume that’s the estrogen talking or are you just trying
to cut me?”
Emma ducked her head. “Yes
and no. It’s just that everything is so emotionally overwhelming
right now. Meeting Patrick today…” She bit down on her lip and then
stared out the car window. “I know we were only together for such a
short time, but it was almost like the moment I met him I felt a
connection to something I haven’t had in a very, very long time—a
father’s love. I’ve only felt that before with my grandfather, and
he’s my own blood.”
Aidan’s chest tightened at
Emma’s visible pain. He reached out and took her hand in his.
“Em—”
She turned back to him with
tears in her eyes. “You think you’re trying to protect yourself?
Well, so am I. As much as I want to say yes to you Aidan, I have to
protect myself and the baby.”
“The baby? Do you honestly
think I’d do anything to hurt it?”
“Not intentionally. But I
can’t let you get invested in our lives if you might bail when some
woman in a short skirt and huge breasts turns your
head.”
“That was fucking low,” he
growled.
She wiped her eyes. “I’m
sorry, but you know at some fundamental level it’s the truth.
You’ve said yourself a million times that you don’t do long-term
relationships.”
“Yeah, well, people can
change you know.”
“You can’t imagine how much
I want to believe that,” she whispered.
Aidan sighed, drumming his
fingers on the steering wheel. “Look, that phone call I got from
work was about how I have to fly to DC on Tuesday. I’ll be gone for
a few days. Will you think about it while I’m gone?”
“I will if you
will.”
“What’s that supposed to
mean?”
“It means I want you to
make sure you fully comprehend what you’re asking of me and
yourself. And I want you to have a pretty clear picture of just
what ‘more’ means to you.”
“Fine.” He gave her a
pointed look. “I will if you will.”
The corners of her mouth
quirked up in a smile. “It’s a deal.”
The sound of a car in the driveway caused
Beau to hop off the couch and start barking madly at the window.
“What is it boy?” Emma asked, abandoning her book. Beau whined and
raced to the front door. Rising from the couch, Emma started over
to the window. Surely Aidan’s niece, Megan, hadn’t changed her mind
about Emma baby-sitting and come back for her four month old son,
Mason. She had struck up an almost instant friendship when Emma met
her at Sunday lunch at Patrick’s. Even with Aidan out town, Patrick
had insisted she and his future
grandson
come join them. It
had been a little overwhelming being with all of Aidan’s sisters
and their families, but overall, she had a wonderful time being
part of his family.
Since Megan had been thrilled by the prospect
of Emma baby-sitting, she couldn’t imagine that she would have
changed her mind. When Emma peeked through the blinds, her heart
leapt into her throat.
It was Aidan.
What was he doing here? When she had talked
to him the night before, he had told her it would be another week
before he came home. Glancing down at her faded Scooby Doo pajama
bottoms and ratty tank top, she shook her head. There was no time
to try and make herself more presentable. Of course, explaining
Mason’s presence was going to be a little more difficult.
She threw open the front door. Beau scurried
out into the night, yapping and wagging his tail. He mowed into
Aidan and almost knocked him down as Emma hurried out onto the
porch. “Hey! What are you doing here?”
Aidan scratched a wiggling Beau. “My last few
meetings got rescheduled for next week. I hopped the first plane
home, so I could surprise you.”
Swaying on her feet, Emma fought to catch her
breath. He had actually done something spontaneously romantic? “Aw,
that’s sweet. It’s a very nice surprise.”
Abandoning Beau, he closed the gap between
them. “I also wanted to come straight over here to see if you had
given anymore thought to us having more.”
“I have.”
Aidan’s brows furrowed. “And?”
“The answer is yes,” she replied with a
smile.
Aidan’s expression turned over like a switch
from apprehension to happiness. “I’m so glad to hear that. I’ve
been thinking about it the whole time I was gone.”
“So have I.”
“Most of all, I wanted things resolved before
I have to go back to DC.”
“When do you leave again?”
“Tuesday.” Emma’s chest tightened at the
prospect.
Aidan’s hungry eyes roamed over her, and he
grinned. “Barefoot and pregnant, huh? Now all I need is you to go
in the kitchen and fix me some dinner.”
She rolled her eyes. “I would have cooked you
something if I knew you were coming. The best I’ve got is the
left-over pizza I ordered in tonight.”
He pulled her to him, crisscrossing his arms
around her waist. “I’ll forget all about dinner if you’ll come
inside and give me a real homecoming,” he teased, licking a moist
trail up her neck.
She shivered with her building need, but then
shook her head. “Um, I don’t think that’s going to be
possible.”
“Why not?”