The Protector (30 page)

Cassie was politely smiling. It startled Jack. She wasn’t enjoying herself?

It mattered that Cassie enjoy tonight and he felt a sense of panic at the idea she wasn’t. The ladies in the gathering had split off and were sitting on the two couches by the fireplace, Cassie sitting in the chair beside Jennifer. Cassie was politely smiling at his sister Lisa, glancing over at Jennifer as she spoke, her head turning back and forth as she followed the conversation.

He’d been able to stay close to her during the first hour of the gathering before the dynamics of the family had split them into groups. For the last hour he had been trying to work his way back to Cassie’s side.

No one in his family would want to exclude Cassie, but if the conversation had drifted into issues of only family interest, they might have unintentionally done so. It had been hard to get Cassie to agree to come, and if it turned out to be a mistake…and then he realized the truth.

He’d seen that polite expression on her face before. The background Christmas music, the half dozen conversations going on in the open room…sound was bouncing. Cassie couldn’t understand what was being said.

“I’ll catch up with you later, Stephen.” He broke off his conversation with his brother midsentence and headed over to intervene.

He was mad at himself for letting this happen. He hadn’t warned Jennifer that Cassie would struggle with the noise level; therefore, Jen wouldn’t know what to watch for. Cassie was so good at assuming adapting to a problematic situation was her issue and not that of her host. She was wrong. He was her host, and he’d just blown it.

He had wanted one thing more than any other—to give her a good Christmas. Instead he had just reinforced what was the most difficult part of her transition to accepting the limitations imposed by the accident—the feeling that she no longer easily fit in.

Jack maneuvered around the room, his grim look causing a couple conversations to stop as he strode past. He forced himself to shake off that intensity before he joined her. It wasn’t Cassie’s fault; it was his. Stopping behind her, he smiled over at Rachel and rested his hands lightly on Cassie’s shoulders.

She started at his touch.

She looked up at him and he leaned down close to her left ear. “You can’t understand a word of what’s being said, can you?”

She couldn’t hide the chagrin.

He searched her face, rubbing his thumb in small circles along her shoulder blades. She hadn’t wanted to rock the boat. He wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to hug her but settled for reaching down and catching Cassie’s hand in his. She rarely offered him her hand, as if the scarred skin made it less than perfect to hold. When he wanted to hold her hand he had to reach for it.

There were times someone needed to protect Cassie from herself, and this was one of them. Jack shot Jennifer a smile. “I’m tired of sharing.” His remark drew a laugh from the group. He gently tugged Cassie to her feet. “We’re heading out. Okay if I join you for breakfast?” he asked Jennifer.

His sister noted their entwined hands and smiled. “Please do.”

Jack settled Cassie’s coat around her shoulders. “You should have said something.”

“It wasn’t so bad at first; it just got confusing as the evening wore on.”

She pushed her hands in her coat pockets as they walked down the hotel hallway. Jack didn’t like the subdued, frankly exhausted impression he got from her. He tried to figure out how to say he was sorry for putting her in this position without making her feel worse. He didn’t know the right words.

“You’ve got a wonderful family.”

“I think so.”

“Jennifer is a very special lady. You would never know she was ill from casually meeting her.”

“She’s normally a brunette.”

Cassie gave him a small smile. “So she told me.”

He pushed the button for the elevator to take them down.

She rubbed her eyes as she leaned against the wall, her slight frown marking her headache. “Did you see Jennifer’s pictures of her puppy? The husky is adorable.”

“She’s in love with him,” Jack agreed.

When they reached the lobby, he reached again for her hand. Her hand tensed in his and then relaxed, curling around his. The lobby was crowded with people flowing from the restaurant and a Christmas party going on in the lounge. He was relieved when they stepped outside and out of the noise.

Garland and Christmas lights were wrapped around the streetlight. The night was cold and clear. Cassie shivered with the impact and stamped her feet. She slid her hand into the crook of his arm to keep her balance on the slick pavement.

The silence during the drive told Jack a lot. Cassie’s exhaustion was nearly as bad as what he had observed at Thanksgiving.

“I’m sorry you had to leave the family gathering. I didn’t expect to have it affect me this way.”

“This is not your fault.”

She hesitated, started to say something, then stopped herself.

“What?”

“It’s not your fault either.” She sighed. “I couldn’t hear Jennifer very well. Her voice was too soft…and I so wanted to.”

He reached out his hand and waited for her to take it. When she finally did, he squeezed it gently and held on to it. “Give me time, Cassie. I didn’t intend to put you in such a difficult position tonight. I just didn’t think everything through.”

“I did enjoy the party.”

“My family loved you.”

She gave a slight smile. “I envy you them.”

He let the rest of the drive pass in silence. The apartment complex where she lived had been dressed up with Christmas lights on the entryway trees. It was at least a small reflection of the season. He parked near her building and came around the car to offer a hand.

He had one hope to redeem this day.

When she unlocked her apartment there was a gift-wrapped basket with a large bow set in the middle of the hall. Jack had arranged for her neighbor to bring the gift over after they left for the party.

Cassie bent down to pick up the basket. She looked at the contents and cast him a puzzled look. “Jack? This is from you?”

“Yes.” And he was suddenly very nervous about this being the right gift.

“What do I need cat food for?”

He smiled at the wary tone in her voice and reached past her to turn on the other lights. “Go on through to the living room. Your neighbor helped me out.”

There was a large box very carefully gift-wrapped waiting for her. He’d spent a week making the arrangements. “It’s the last gift of the season. I promise.”

Cassie pulled over the ottoman and lifted off the box lid.

The kitten was incredibly small, heather gray in color, asleep on a bed of monogrammed towels.

“She’s not much bigger than your mouse so I don’t think she’ll be any threat to your other guest. Her name is Benji, B. J. for short.”

Cassie reached in the box and the kitten woke to stretch. Cassie carefully picked her up.

“I brought everything you would need for her. Cassie—” he waited for her to look up at him—“don’t feel like this is a gift you have to accept. You can borrow her for a couple weeks and then B. J. can move to my place.” He smiled. “I don’t even know if you’re allergic to cats.”

She nestled the kitten against her sweater. “I think I’ll keep her for a while if you don’t mind.”

Her voice had gone so soft. Jack breathed a sigh of relief because he really gambled with choosing such a gift. Jennifer had been so overjoyed with her puppy. Cassie’s apartment complex only allowed cats.

Cassie glanced up at him. “B. J.’s a good name.”

“I thought so.” He pointed to the box. “There are extra monogrammed towels with her name on them and the equivalent of a cat bed and several play toys in the second box. The basket should have everything she’ll need to eat for a few weeks. There’s also more milk in the refrigerator.”

“You thought of the details.”

“I hope so.”

He stepped close and ran a finger along the kitten’s back.

He wanted to kiss Cassie good night. He pushed his hands into his pockets instead. “I’d better go so you can get some sleep.”

She carefully got to her feet so as not to disturb the kitten.

“I will catch your other guest when I come over to help clean out the closet so we can start painting.”

“I’ll appreciate both.” She looked up at him. “I love the kitten, Jack.”

“I’m glad.” Relieved was the better word. “Shift starts at 8
A.M.
tomorrow. Do you want me to pick you up?”

“If you wouldn’t mind. Christmas weekend and snow flurries— there will be a lot of calls.”

“But hopefully no fires.”

She looked down at the kitten and stroked a small ear. “I’ll have to leave B. J.”

“I have a feeling she’ll sleep most of the time you are gone,” he promised.

“Would you do me a favor and call me when you get home? The roads are slick.”

It meant a great deal that she would ask. “I will.”

“Oh…she’s p u r ring. I wish I had bought you a better gift.”

He laughed. “Cassie—” He waited until she looked up. “You already gave me the Christmas gift I wanted.” He ran a finger along her jawline, leaned down, and swiftly kissed her. “Good night, beautiful.”

Someone needed to remind her she was supposed to sleep before she went on shift. Cassie curled her hand up under her cheek as she watched the kitten sleep on the second pillow.

Jack had her tied in knots. No one had kissed her since the accident, and that simple act still had her head spinning. Jack had caught her off guard.

She was in wonder over the fact he would like her that much. That he would consider the fire and its aftermath to be something he could look beyond.

Jesus, I’m in over my head. I don’t want to hurt Jack’s feelings. This feels awful. He doesn’t know You. I’ve been hesitant at witnessing, but now I need to reach out and find a way to do so.

She reached over and ran her finger over the soft fur of the kitten.

She had faced a fire and been hurt. If she was going to get involved with a firefighter, she would only be able to handle it with someone she didn’t have to worry about should the worst happen.
Lord, give me the strength to resist my feelings for him.

If only Jack believed…

He’d overstepped. He knew it.

Jack tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he headed home. That kiss had been spur of the moment, and as soon as he had done it he knew he’d made a mistake.

The problem with rushing fences was he all too often knocked them over. Hadn’t he learned the basics? She’d blinked at him, not exactly frowning but definitely not smiling, and he wisely left before she could react more than that.

The kiss was wonderful. It had just been badly timed.

Two strikes for the night. The noise, the kiss…he certainly hoped the kitten turned out to be considered as nice a gift in the morning as it was tonight or it was going to be three strikes all in one night.

This was not the Christmas weekend he had planned and hoped for.

Thirty-four

C
ole balanced the paintbrush on the edge of the can and stepped down from the ladder to answer the doorbell. He was not going to get the living room done today if the interruptions continued, let alone his hope of also finishing the hallway. The phone had been ringing ever since he got home from church; now he had visitors.

The blackout paint had covered the spray paint but it had dried a chalky white. The quicker he got at least the first new coat of white on it, the better. Right now there wasn’t a room on the first floor that wasn’t in some state of chaos with furniture moved out of the way or recovered items packed in boxes waiting to go back on shelves.

Cole wanted his house back.

He picked up a towel and wiped at the paint splatters on his hands as he maneuvered around two sawhorses balancing long pieces of trim for the stairway to replace the damaged pieces. He unlocked his new back door.

“Rachel.” He was stunned to see her. “Please, come in.” He pushed open the door. She’d been over Friday with Jack and Cassie helping him sort out the mess. He hadn’t expected her back today.

“I tried to call. Your phone was busy.”

“It’s been ringing ever since I got home from church.”

“You’re painting.”

He tossed the towel on a box and gave a rueful look at his hands. “Yes.”

It didn’t look like she’d come over to help. She was dressed to the nines in a blue silk dress. She was absolutely lovely and if she was feeling tired or stressed it was not apparent in her looks. There wasn’t a good place to have a conversation where she wouldn’t get paint on her dress or snag it on something. So he leaned his shoulder against the wall, deciding where they stood in the hallway was probably the safest place. He was delighted to see her even if he wasn’t sure why she had come over.

“I had breakfast with Jennifer and Jack.”

“How is Jennifer?”

“Recovered from her fall. She’s going back on a new round of chemotherapy after the first of the year.”