The Quality of Love (2 page)

Whenever Sarah brought Rita home her mother always seemed on edge and rarely spoke to her friend, apart from saying hello and goodbye, and she was quick to criticise what they'd being doing or what she'd heard them saying to each other and sometimes she even commented unfavourably on what Rita was wearing.

Once when Rita had turned up wearing
lipstick Lorna had told Sarah that if she ever caught her daubing her face like that she'd ask her father to punish her. When she had pointed out to her mam that she always used lipstick, rouge and face powder, her mam had told her not to be cheeky and sent her up to her room.

When she'd told Rita what had happened Rita had shrugged dismissively and, flicking back her long, fair hair, had said that all parents were the same. ‘They don't like to think that you're growing up,' she'd laughed. ‘My dad didn't approve the first time I wore some lipstick but if you stand up for yourself, or simply ignore them, they soon get used to it.'

‘I don't think my mam and dad would,' Sarah told her despondently. ‘They'd most probably send me off to my room for being defiant and audacious like my mam did when I said that she used lipstick so why couldn't I.'

‘You want to remind them that you're almost eighteen and that it's the nineteen twenties and women have completely changed since the end of the war.'

‘You mean that nowadays women are not content to stay at home leading humdrum lives cooking, cleaning and looking after the children any more.'

‘Exactly! Now that I'm earning money I intend to have a good time and after I've given Mam some for my keep I intend to spend the rest on clothes and make-up and anything else I want.'

‘It's all right for you because you've left school and have started work,' Sarah sighed.

‘Then do the same,' Rita told her as they linked arms and began to walk towards the shops.

‘I'm going to university because I know it will please my dad,' Sarah sighed. ‘It's something he's dreamed about me doing ever since I passed the high school exam, and if I don't then both he and my mam will be terribly upset and I couldn't bear the thought of that because I do want to make them proud of me.'

‘You're quite mad,' Rita laughed, tugging on her arm so that they could cross the road and look in the window of a dress shop. ‘You could even leave home if you wanted to; if they make a fuss, threaten to do just that.'

‘And where would I go and what would I live on? I've no money!'

‘You would have if you found yourself a job. You should have taken a shorthand and typing course and then you could have worked in an office like I'm doing. There are plenty of office jobs going in Cardiff.'

‘And where would I live? I don't think my dad would let me go on living at home if I disobeyed him like that and if he disapproved I know my mother wouldn't go against his wishes; she never does.'

‘You could always come and live with us and share my room,' Rita told her.

‘It sounds wonderful but it would break my
dad's heart. He's expecting me not only to go to university and end up with a degree but also to find some really good job afterwards.'

‘Like what?'

‘I don't know yet. It all depends on what subjects I take. Getting a degree is the important thing in his eyes.'

‘Sounds very snobbish to me,' Rita retorted. ‘Still,' she sighed, ‘if that's what you've set your heart on doing then I suppose it's no good me wasting time talking about it. Maybe one of these days I'll end up as your secretary,' she added with a grin.

‘Perhaps, but I would much rather you remained my friend.' Sarah smiled, linking her arm through Rita's and hugging her.

Lloyd Lewis felt a warm glow of satisfaction as he moved away from the table and settled down in his favourite armchair by the fireside and waited for Lorna to bring him a cup of coffee. The knowledge that Sarah had obtained a place at Cardiff University filled him with a tremendous feeling of pride. It was the culmination of one of his dearest dreams.

He looked round the comfortably furnished room with a feeling of satisfaction. Lorna was an excellent homemaker; the furniture was good without being ostentatious and the furnishings had all been chosen with great care. The room was devoid of clutter and yet it had a warmth and homeliness that reflected Lorna's good
taste. It was very different from the small hillside terraced house that had been his childhood home in Pontypridd.

He'd moved on since those days, he thought complacently. Not for him shift work and coal dust in the gruelling darkness of the pits where there was the constant dread of a cave-in and being trapped underground. That had been the lot of his father and of his father before him.

His decision to come to Cardiff after he'd left school had been a good move and it was one he'd never regretted.

His mother had died when he'd been ten and from then on he'd been a latchkey child and had run wild because, being an only child, he'd been left very much to his own devices.

He'd been almost fourteen when his father had been trapped down the pit in an underground explosion. He still sometimes woke in the night, remembering the long hours of waiting at the coal face as they brought up the injured men and hoping that his father wouldn't be too badly hurt when they brought him out. Only his father hadn't been injured; he'd been killed outright.

Neighbours had been kind to him. They'd fed him, let him sleep in their homes, but as soon as he was old enough to do so he'd turned his back on the mining village and struck out on his own.

His first few months in Cardiff had been hard; he'd been destitute and even reduced to
begging. After dark he'd often sorted through the bins at the back of cafés and hotels to see if he could find anything in them fit to eat.

He'd slept in doorways and even park benches, often being moved on again by the police in the early hours of the morning and warned that he'd be locked up if they found him there again.

He'd spent hours at the docks desperately trying to get a ship but they'd always turned him away saying that he was too young. He'd thought very seriously about stowing away on one and had even taken to sleeping down on the dockside with every intention of slipping on board one dark night. He didn't care if it was a cargo boat or passenger ship as long as it took him far away to some place where he could start a new life; but the opportunity to do so never arose.

By sheer chance he'd managed to find work in a factory where they made packing cases. At first he'd only been sweeping up and acting as a general labourer. It had provided him with enough money to pay for proper lodgings, and also, by saving every penny, he was able to buy some decent clothes.

His boss had noticed how industrious he was and after a couple of months he'd been promoted to other work including going out in the van with deliveries. It had been back-breaking at times, but he'd refused to give up.

He'd learned everything he could about the
methods they used in manufacturing the cases as well as about all the various sizes they stocked and what they were used for, how everything was labelled, and where it was stored in the warehouse. By the time he was nineteen he had been made foreman.

From that day on he'd made certain that the warehouse was always spick and span and that he could always account for every item in it. He also made sure that orders were completed on schedule and deliveries were made promptly.

Meeting Lorna was his next stroke of luck. She was seventeen and one of the clerks employed in the office. From time to time she came along to the warehouse to ask questions concerning an order or delivery. She was petite and her blond hair framed her round face. She looked like a beautiful doll and was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.

They'd taken to each other on sight and after a few weeks he'd summoned up all his courage and asked her if she would go for a walk with him.

She'd been rather taken back by his forwardness but she'd agreed she'd do so if her parents gave their approval. It had been the start of their courtship and had turned into a lifelong romance. Three years later, when she was twenty, her parents finally gave their consent for Lorna and Lloyd to be married.

They'd had a white wedding and they'd set
up home in rented rooms in Canton. The moment he was promoted to Factory Manager, and because Lorna was expecting their baby, they moved to a house in Cyfartha Street in Roath; the one they were living in now and where Sarah had been born.

The war had disrupted his secret ambition to become a partner in the business but his background had not been wasted. His skill at organising and keeping records had stood him in good stead. Almost at once he'd been sent to one of the training barracks in the Midlands to work in the stores and in no time at all he'd been put in charge and promoted to Warrant Officer.

After he'd been demobbed from the army, once again he'd been luckier than most and had been offered his job back by his former employers. They'd expanded considerably and now had a thriving transport and haulage side to their business and he rejoined the company as General Manager.

Now older and wiser, he'd decided that with his very limited savings it was probably too great an ambition to hope to become a partner. Instead he concentrated on encouraging Sarah to reach an educational standard that he had never been able to achieve himself.

Lorna Lewis felt very relieved that Sarah would be attending Cardiff University. She knew it was the height of Lloyd's ambition for her and that
he was extremely proud of their daughter. Unlike Lorna, he couldn't bring himself to tell Sarah how he felt. Lorna was lavish with her praise and though Sarah knew how delighted both her parents were, Lloyd always gave the impression that it was only what he expected.

There were times when Lorna felt uncomfortable about this because, in contrast, Lloyd was so openly affectionate towards her. The fact that he showed her the same tenderness and devotion as he'd done when they'd first been married and seemed to place her on a pedestal sometimes filled her with a sense of unease because she felt that she had to watch her every step to make sure she didn't fall off and this could be quite onerous. Sometimes she thought she would actually have enjoyed it if they'd had the occasional spat like most married couples did, as long as they could make up afterwards.

Over the years she always tried to fall in with his wishes and do everything to please him but she was no longer as inhibited as she'd been when they'd first married. Nowadays, since the war, she wanted to go out and about more and mix with people and often wished she could invite people to their home but Lloyd liked his privacy and did not welcome visitors.

She'd enjoyed the war years so much because she'd experienced such a feeling of freedom. For the first time in her life she was able to do things her parents had never allowed her
to do. Also, knowing that Lloyd was miles and miles away she was at liberty to go out or have friends in whenever she wanted to do so.

It had also given her the opportunity to take Sarah out and about. They'd had a wonderful time together and Lloyd's army allowance, especially after his promotion, was more than adequate for her to be able to do this.

Then Lloyd had been demobbed and, once more, she found herself the centre of his universe. In so many ways he was an extremely good husband because he never begrudged her anything. Lloyd's only failing, as far as she was concerned, was the fact that he seemed to prefer them to live almost in isolation from their neighbours and what few friends she had.

Lloyd was also an outstandingly good father. He worried about Sarah, and he encouraged her in her studies, but his expectations of what he wanted her to achieve were so high that they were almost impossible.

Now, with such a glittering prize as the opportunity to have a university education under her belt, Lorna wondered what the future had to offer; not merely for Sarah but for all of them.

Sarah showed so much promise that undoubtedly she would do well. Lorna wondered what sort of a career Lloyd had in mind for her after she finished university. Perhaps it would have been better if they'd had more children, then all his ambitions wouldn't be concentrated on Sarah's achievements.

She sighed as she spread a thick blanket on the table and covered it with a piece of old sheet in readiness to do the ironing. It was too late to think like that now, she told herself. Nevertheless, she was worried because she was sure that sometimes Lloyd pushed Sarah far too hard.

As she picked up the flat iron from the trivet in front of the fire and held it a couple of inches from her face to test if it was hot enough to begin ironing one of Lloyd's shirts, she wondered if Sarah would ever have a home and family of her own or whether she would make her career her life.

Sarah found that all the excitement over her going to university was slightly dimmed when it came to leaving High School and saying goodbye to all her teachers and the friends she'd known for the past five years.

Although many of them lived only a few streets away, she knew that once they all started work she wouldn't be seeing very much of any of them. She'd already found that because she had only limited pocket money she was unable to do many of the things her friend Rita did now that she was working.

She also knew that Rita thought she was wasting her time going to university and poring over her books while she was out living it up and having a good time.

She sighed. Probably most of the others did as well because as Rita kept reminding her going to university wasn't a short-term commitment; it would be at least three years if she was to obtain all the qualifications her father had in mind.

The other thing that worried her was that because she was the only one who'd passed to go to university she wouldn't know anyone else there. When she'd moved from elementary
school to the high school not only Rita but several other girls, as well as half a dozen boys, had also changed school at the same time.