The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya (12 page)

“It is entirely possible that she would decide on a course of action that benefits humanity as a whole. Such as setting up a grant for inventions or funding research.”

Koizumi offered what sounded to be a desperately optimistic point of view. Either way, it was never a good idea to gamble. After all, the stakes were too high here. High enough to make those risk-management people hesitate. Unless the reward made the risk worthwhile.

“Just have her buy one of those convenience store ice-cream bars that give you a chance for a second one free. That’ll be enough.”

I returned to enjoying the scenery as Koizumi leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. We would probably be busy upon arrival at our destination, so it would be prudent to preserve my strength right now.

The landscape outside the window grew increasingly rural, and more snow appeared every time we passed through a tunnel. As I watched the scenery fly by, I eventually fell sound asleep.

And so the train ride ended and we gathered up our belongings and headed out of the station to find a two-colored sight, a clear blue sky and pristine white snow, along with a familiar-looking twosome who were greeting us in a ridiculously formal fashion.

“Welcome. We have been awaiting your arrival.”

The most impressive butler I’d ever seen bowed deeply.

“You must be tired after the long trip. Please avail yourselves of our hospitality.”

The suspiciously ageless and beautiful maid was also here.

“Hello, and thank you for your efforts.”

Koizumi immediately walked up to stand next to them.

“I believe this would be the first meeting for Tsuruya. Here we have Arakawa and Mori, two acquaintances whom I asked to look after us for the duration of this trip.”

They looked exactly the same as on that remote island last summer. The gray-haired Arakawa in a three-piece suit and Mori in a very plain apron dress that made it clear she was a maid.

“I am Arakawa.”

“I am Mori.”

They both bowed their heads at exactly the same time.

Did they refrain from wearing coats in this bitter cold as part of the performance, or were they so absorbed in their roles that a sense of professionalism kicked in?

Tsuruya was waving a heavy-looking bag around.

“Heya! Hi there. I shouldn’t have anything to worry about if you come recommended by Koizumi. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Feel free to use this lodge as you like!”

“Many thanks.”

Arakawa took another courteous bow before lifting his face and revealing a dignified smile.

“I am pleased to see that everybody is doing well.”

“My apologies for the inconvenience last summer.”

Mori smiled gently as she spoke, and her smile grew softer when she saw my sister.

“My, what an adorable little guest.”

The uninvited guest, my sister, returned to form faster than dried seaweed in boiling water as she gave a little cheer and leaped into Mori’s skirt.

Haruhi had a wide smile on her face as she took a step onto the snow.

“Long time no see. I’m expecting this winter trip to be a blast. We were interrupted by that hurricane last summer so I wasn’t able to fully enjoy myself, but I plan on compensating for that during this winter excursion.”

Then she turned to us cheerfully, as though she had just queened a pawn.

“Now, everybody. We’re going to go all out having fun here! Scrub away all the grime that’s built up over the past year so we can be fresh to go when the new year comes around. You aren’t allowed to bring any regrets into the next year. Got it?!”

We each responded in our own fashion. Tsuruya pumped her fist in the air as she attempted some semblance of a war cry, Asahina nodded nervously while tensing up, Koizumi was still smiling, Nagato didn’t say a word, and my sister was still clinging to Mori.

And I was doing my best to avoid looking at Haruhi and her blindingly brilliant smile.

Nobody would expect a storm when there wasn’t a single cloud in the beautiful blue sky.

At this point in time.

We piled into a couple of off-road trucks for the trek to the Tsuruya family vacation home. Arakawa and Mori were driving, which allowed me to deduce that Mori was at least old enough to obtain a driver’s license. This information was actually helpful when you consider that I’d been wondering if she was our age. Not that any ulterior motives were involved here. We already had a hard-working maid in Asahina, so I didn’t feel any particular attachment to Mori. That last part was especially important.

Our journey by automobile through the endless expanse of white didn’t last very long. After fifteen minutes or so our big trucks came to a stop in front of a building that resembled a bed-and-breakfast type of lodge.

“The place certainly has atmosphere.”

Haruhi was the first to hop out of the truck and onto the snow as she expressed her satisfaction.

“This particular vacation home is actually our smallest, though,” Tsuruya remarked. “But I really love the place! It’s a lot more comfortable this way.”

Considering it was located near the train station, with a ski resort within walking distance, I would expect this place to be high-rent. Plus, Tsuruya probably wasn’t joking when she said that it was the smallest of her family’s vacation homes, given that she considered the sprawling Japanese mansion she called home to be the status quo. From a more pedestrian standpoint, this vacation home was just as big as the huge villa on the remote island we had visited the previous summer. How much evil had the Tsuruya family committed to be able to freely build such fancy houses all over the place?

“Welcome, everybody.”

Arakawa the butler was showing us in. He and Mori had received from Tsuruya, along with the keys to the house, permission to come here one day before us, meaning that they had been preparing for our arrival since the previous day. This was largely thanks to Koizumi’s being thorough in his planning and also thanks to Tsuruya’s and her family’s being so open-minded and generous.

As I gratefully entered the entirely wooden building that would certainly be fully booked every season if the Tsuruya family decided to transform their winter vacation home into a public lodge, I had a sudden premonition.

I didn’t really understand what it was. Still, I could clearly feel that vague premonition pass through my mind.

“Hmm…?”

I looked around the interior of the vacation home and was impressed by what I saw.

Haruhi was all smiles as she lavished praise on Tsuruya, and Tsuruya was laughing heartily in return. Koizumi was in a discussion with Arakawa and Mori. My sister had immediately taken Shamisen out of his pet carrier to hold in her arms, and Asahina was setting her belongings on the floor with a sigh of relief while Nagato merely stared at some indiscernible spot in the air.

Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.

We would spend the next few days on a spree of merrymaking disguised as a club foray before returning to our original location to enjoy everyday life…

Or so it should have gone.

The forthcoming murder would only be an act, not real. Haruhi was already aware of this fact, so we wouldn’t need to worry about her going through emotional turmoil. Nagato and Asahina wouldn’t have a role to play in this circus, and Koizumi would never have a chance to use his abnormal powers—

You could even say that this event was completely rigged. Nothing like a shady murder where nobody could guess what might happen. We wouldn’t have to worry about anything out of the ordinary happening, like running into a cave cricket when checking on a person cooped up in his room.

Still, what was this feeling? This unsettling sensation that was like a ghost or some kind of apparition passing through my body. Yes, it reminded me of that odd, gnawing sensation I experienced when I hadn’t yet realized that the second half of summer was in an endless loop. But I wouldn’t consider this to be déjà vu…

“No use.”

The sensation evaded my reach the way a slimy fish would slip out of my grasp.

“Must be my imagination.”

I shook my head and picked up my stuff as I began to ascend the staircase and make my way to the room I had been assigned. The interior wasn’t particularly fancy, but I wasn’t exactly an expert at appraisal. I’m guessing that if I asked how much this simple-looking banister cost to install, I would almost certainly be informed of a material and personnel cost that would make my jaw drop.

I soon reached the second-floor hallway where the bedrooms were.

“Say, Kyon.”

Tsuruya walked over with a smile on her face.

“Mind sharing a room with your sister? Truth be told, there were barely enough rooms for everybody. The attic room I used when I was a child is open, but she’d probably feel lonely if we stuck her up there, yeah?”

“I don’t mind sharing a room with her.”

Haruhi came butting in.

“I just checked our rooms and the beds are huge. You could fit three people side by side with plenty of room to spare. And it would be safer with two girls sharing a room instead, right?”

I don’t see why you think that it would be dangerous for me to share a room with my sister. Sharing a room with Asahina would probably test my mental and spiritual fortitude, but sharing a room with my sister would be the same as sharing a room with Shamisen, as far as I was concerned.

“Well, how about it?”

Haruhi’s question was directed at my sister, who had Shamisen clinging to one shoulder. My sister giggled and blurted out an answer that completely disregarded our previous exchange.

“I wanna sleep in Mikuru’s room.”

And so my sister was able to slip into Asahina’s room, which left me to take care of Shamisen in my room. I might as well dump this cat on someone while I’m at it.

“I will have to refuse. Unlike yours, my nerves aren’t strong enough to bear the strain of spending time with a talking cat.”

Koizumi refused my generous offer, which led to Nagato staring at the calico for thirty seconds or so.

“No.”

And with that curt response she turned her back on me.

Well, I could probably just let him wander around the building. Shamisen didn’t seem to pay any heed to the fact that he was in a strange house as he jumped onto my bed the way he did at home and promptly dozed off, despite having slept for most of the train ride. I was tempted to lie down next to him, but our schedule didn’t allow for any breaks, as we had been ordered by Haruhi to assemble downstairs before we even had a chance to settle in.

“Now, let’s go! Skiing!”

I had a feeling that she was moving a little too fast, but we apparently didn’t have a second to waste if we were to light up the place as Haruhi demanded. And the addition of Tsuruya, a regular bundle of energy who could possibly top Haruhi when it came to hyperactivity, only served to double the effect.

Koizumi had rented the skiwear and skis somewhere. I found it odd how he’d managed to take our measurements without our knowing about it. There was even a full set for my sister, who had joined in at the last second, that was a perfect fit. I could picture agents from the “Agency” (black suits and black sunglasses) sneaking into North High and my sister’s grade school and shuffling through student medical records in the nurse’s office. Hmm, I should ask them for Asahina’s measurements later. Not that I would be able to do anything with them, but still, I was curious.

“It’s been forever since I skied,” Haruhi said. “The last time was during an event for kids when I was in grade school. It never snows where we live. Can’t have winter without snow.”

A view that could only come from someone who lived in an area without regular snow. I’m willing to bet that there are plenty of people out there who could live without seeing another snowflake ever again. I would even draw the conclusion that Kenshin Uesugi from the Warring States period would fall into that category.

We marched along in our clumsy boots, carrying our skis, before finally reaching a rather impressive-looking ski slope. Like Haruhi, I hadn’t skied in a long time. Not since middle school, I think. Pretty sure that this was my sister’s first time and it was apparently Asahina’s as well. I was almost positive that Nagato had never skied before, but I was pretty confident that she would be skiing like a pro the second we hit the slopes.

As we rode the lift, I could see skiwear flashing in every color. I was wondering why there weren’t very many people around when Tsuruya elaborated on the reason.

“This place isn’t that famous. Just a quiet place to ski for the people who know about it. After all, this was our private ski resort until ten years ago.”

But it was open to the public now, according to Tsuruya’s explanation, which was completely free of scorn. I guess that there are actually people in this world with charisma, character, money, and pedigree. People so perfect that you can’t do a thing about them.

Once we got off the lift, Haruhi put her skis on and turned to me.

“What are you going to do, Kyon? I’d prefer to head on over to the expert course, but I’m not sure if everybody knows how to ski. Do you?”

“Give us some time to practice.”

I managed to successfully attach the skis to my boots, but my sister and Asahina were tripping over themselves every twelve inches as we watched.

“We need to teach them the basics or else they’ll have trouble getting back on a ski lift, let alone attacking the expert course.”

Asahina, already covered in snow, looked as though she had been born to be dressed in skiwear. Sometimes I find myself wondering if there is a single article of clothing in this world that wouldn’t look good on her.

“In that case I’ll coach Mikuru through the motions while Harls, you take charge of the little sister! Kyon and everybody else can just ski around!”

Couldn’t ask for a better plan. It would take me a while to get the hang of skiing again. I glanced to my side real quick.

“…”

Nagato, stone-faced and with a firm grip on her poles, had already zoomed off without a hitch.